Even Flow
The Inside
True sickness
Just makes you sicker and sicker
Until you realize there is no sickness!!
~
‘I was raped,’ she said. ‘Molested.’
And after a furious trial and jury… it was decided that she lied.
“Why? Why would she lie?”
“Because no one would believe the truth…”
…
“The truth was, he had hit me. He had given me black eyes. He had chased after me, hit me with rocks and sticks. He had run after me with a knife and a horse whip, only ceasing after I ran to my mother...
She said, “SHUT UP!! Can’t you see I’m talking to another ADULT?”
She pushed me away.
He backed away from the door into the shadows of that house. He backed away, and hid waiting for me. He knew. He knew she didn’t care to take the time.
With that crooked, seeping grin. Crawling under my skin.
~
“The truth was, he had tried to drown me in front of grandma, too.
She said, “STOP THAT!! CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!! I SAID—“
And she said a lot. She screamed a lot. And watched. She glared a lot. And did nothing to stop it with her own two hands. She screamed in the background. Eventually her voice carried the same as a wrinkle in water, eventually fading.
I felt the salty snot fill my nose, my breathing passages, cutting me off. Snot, and dirt water, and the pure, rotting stench that comes with Fear of Death.
~
“I saw something. I saw something back in those days that kept me going. Even though you lied. Even though we all played pretend. Even me. Forgetting what I knew until it was ultimately too late.
“I can see it now…..
“I can see it blurring my vision. I can see it clearing the way!”
Just makes you sicker and sicker
Until you realize there is no sickness!!
~
‘I was raped,’ she said. ‘Molested.’
And after a furious trial and jury… it was decided that she lied.
“Why? Why would she lie?”
“Because no one would believe the truth…”
…
“The truth was, he had hit me. He had given me black eyes. He had chased after me, hit me with rocks and sticks. He had run after me with a knife and a horse whip, only ceasing after I ran to my mother...
She said, “SHUT UP!! Can’t you see I’m talking to another ADULT?”
She pushed me away.
He backed away from the door into the shadows of that house. He backed away, and hid waiting for me. He knew. He knew she didn’t care to take the time.
With that crooked, seeping grin. Crawling under my skin.
~
“The truth was, he had tried to drown me in front of grandma, too.
She said, “STOP THAT!! CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!! I SAID—“
And she said a lot. She screamed a lot. And watched. She glared a lot. And did nothing to stop it with her own two hands. She screamed in the background. Eventually her voice carried the same as a wrinkle in water, eventually fading.
I felt the salty snot fill my nose, my breathing passages, cutting me off. Snot, and dirt water, and the pure, rotting stench that comes with Fear of Death.
~
“I saw something. I saw something back in those days that kept me going. Even though you lied. Even though we all played pretend. Even me. Forgetting what I knew until it was ultimately too late.
“I can see it now…..
“I can see it blurring my vision. I can see it clearing the way!”