Sweet Talk

When Frank walks into school on Friday, he sees Mikey sat alone by the tree on the grass, head bowed and looking miserable. He walks over quickly and sits down next to Mikey.
He hasn’t been feeling the happiest himself this last week, because he hasn’t seen Gerard, but he wants to check on Mikey because he knows he was supposed to be seeing his brother last week.
“Hey, Mikes. You okay?” Frank asks as he plops down on the grass beside Mikey. He pulls out some sherbert sticks from his bag and throws two on to Mikey’s lap.
Mikey only nods sullenly and fiddles with the sherbet sticks.
Frank sucks three down before he says anything else.
“You sure, Mikes? You don’t look too good. Something happen with your brother?” Frank asks carefully. He doesn’t want to upset Mikey further.

Mikey looks up and is about to say something when Brendon bounds over, holding Ryan’s hand and dragging him along.
“Hey, guys!” He says excitedly, though Brendon sounds excited about everything.
They both sit down next to Frank and Mikey, Brendon draping himself all over Ryan, who looks annoyed by it, though Ryan looks annoyed by everything. “What’s going on? Can I have some of those sherbert sticks, Frankie? Thanks! I love sherbert sticks, they’re one of my all time favourite sweeties! Aren’t they, Ryan? Ryan buys me sherbert sticks all the time, as a symbol of our love! Isn’t that right, Ryan? I buy him things as well, though! I buy him ribbon and bows and ruffles and feathers from the sewing shop, to put on his clothes! Don’t I, Ryan? Because we’re in love, Frankie, didn’t I tell you? We’re in love and I want everyone to know it!” Brendon says, complete with wistful sighs and extravagant gestures and puppy dog eyes at Ryan.
Brendon continues his monologue about his and Ryan’s glorious escapades in the wonderful and perfect land of Love, while Mikey and Frank tune him out. Mikey looks up at Frank and mouths “come over tonight?” and Frank nods.

Frank leaps up from his desk as soon as the last bell rings. He’s out of his seat and running to the door before the bell even stops ringing.
He’s been worrying about Mikey all day because it must be something pretty bad if he’s inviting Frank round to house to talk about it.

He rings Vera to tell her he’s going to be late home from school.
“Ciao, Frankie. Come va la scuola, tesoro?” She says.
“Hi, nonna, school’s fine, how’s Jemima? Listen, I’m going to be late home, is that okay? Mikey wants me to go round for bit, I shouldn’t be long,” he rushes.
“Woah, Frankie! You in a rush, tesoro? Okay, that’s fine, just don’t be back too late. Basil can take care of your duties today,” she tells him. He hears Basil complain loudly in the background that he’d been picking ‘those bloody onion’s’ all day and his back is sore.
“Don’t listen to him, Frankie. He likes complaining about anything.”
Frank laughs and then stops suddenly when he sees Mikey appraoching looking as sullen as he did this morning. “Okay, nonna, I gotta go. Love you!”
“Bye, honey, love you, too!” Frank hears as he clicks to end the call. He turns to Mikey.
“Hey, Mikes. Ready to go?” He asks. Mikey only nods and they walk to Mikey’s house in silence.

When they get to Mikey’s house they go straight up to Mikey’s bedroom in the converted attic space. Mikey sits down on the bed awkwardly, tugging at a loose thread on his jeans. Frank rolls his eyes and sits down next to him, scooting back on the bed to lean against the wall.
“C’mon, Mikes. What’s up?” He asks.
Mikey is silent. So Frank waits.
“I went to see my brother last week,” he finally says, hesitantly.
“Yeah?” Frank says softly.
Mikey nods. “Yeah. I was nervous at first because he looked so bad, last time I saw him. But then he answered the door. He looked so good, Frankie. He was glowing and he had put on weight and he didn’t look so tired.”
“That’s good,” Frank says. “You think he isn’t doing drugs anymore?”
“That’s what I thought, but then—” he cuts himself off and takes a deep shaky breath and only then does Frank realise he’s crying. He scoots closer and wraps an arm around Mikey’s waist. “Well, he was telling me about his boyfriend and he looked so happy, so in love. I thought it was finally all over, like he was gunna be happy again, with his boyfriend, no drugs or drink and he could start seeing mom and dad again. But then... But then his fucking drug dealer comes round and starts banging on the door and demanding that Gee lets him inside. And he says that I’ve got to go, and then he takes that fucking guy into his bedroom! Into his bedroom, Frankie! He could be doing drugs again, but he’s also cheating on his fucking boyfriend! The poor kid is only our age, I mean, he could even go to our school and Gee’s just messing him about! And he’s apparently all in love, I don’t fucking think so!” Mikey spits angrily, he’s still crying but he stops and rubs at his eyes furiously when he hears his mom walking up the stairs and calling his name.
“Michael, I’m glad your home, this fucking dog hasn’t stopped whining all day, you better take him!” She says as she walks in, cradling a black shivering ball of fur in her arms.
Mikey gently takes the puppy and strokes him but as soon as he sits back on the bed the little dog jumps out of his arms and into Frank’s, burying himself in Frank’s shirt.
Frank lifts the dog carefully up to his face and his heart stops. The dog is a black labrador and he looks exactly like Walter. No, he is Walter, Frank can see his yellow collar and the silver tag saying his name on the front.

When Mikey’s mom leaves, after an offer for the boys to go down stairs and try the tiger balms she baked, Mikey tells Frank about the dog.
“It’s Gee’s,” he says. “I had to take him cos he’s scared of Bert, his drug dealer.”
Mikey carries on talking but Frank doesn’t hear a word. All he can think of is Gerard, his Gerard, is Mikey’s brother, who was/is on drugs and is apparently cheating on him. Frank is the “poor kid” that Gerard is messing about. Frank is the one that Gerard was “apparently in love with”. He can hardly breathe for the aching in his chest.
He gets up blindly, puts Walter down on the bed and walks out of the room and down the stairs, towards the front door. He hears Mikey calling out his name but he can’t bring himself to turn around. He walks out in to the sharp wind and piercing rain.

When he reaches the shop he can still hear the blood pounding in his ears and the ache in his chest. He has a feeling it’s a long term thing.
He marches straight through the shop, ignoring the startled cry of Vera as he climbs over the counter and up to his flat.
As soon as he closes the door behind him he collapses against it, slinding down to the floor from the heaving sobs wracking his body. He feels like he’s going to throw up his heart on to the carpet. Jemima nudges herself on to his lap and he clings to her; something to hold on to.
The phone rings and when he looks over through blurry vision, he sees it’s Gerard’s number. The sight of Gerard’s name on the caller ID with a love heart and kisses after it makes his stomach heave even more. He presses ignore.