You Can't Tell Me to Heal

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up, Shane, I’ll be there in a few,” I told my youngest brother, slipping into my cowboy boots before hanging up on him. Mom was out grocery shopping, so I had to pick up Shane from baseball practice, and then I was headed to Halvo’s for a party tonight.

“Thanks, John,” Shane mumbled when I let him into the car. I just nodded and started to drive him home…but then I got a text from Avery. “Holy shit!” Shane yelled. I let go of the steering wheel to grab my phone the instant I heard my text message alert go off, so we almost veered off the side of the road. “John, give me the damn phone and drive, I’ll text for you!”

Shane snatched my iPhone. I broke hard in the middle of the street, making Shane lurch forward. “No you don’t, you little potty mouth! Give me my phone! Shane, I’m being serious!”

“Ooh, you’ve got a text from Avery that says, ‘Yes but I’ve never seen them live before’,” Shane read, and I felt my face flush. “And then it’s got a sad face… John, who is this?”

I snatched my phone back and typed a reply back to Avery. We were currently talking about our favorite bands and concerts we’ve been to. Avery has had the misfortune of never having been to a concert in her life, and I intended to correct that quite quickly. “No one.”

“Please, John, let me be your designated texter. That shit back there with the not holding the steering wheel was not cool, man. I won’t bother you about this person if you don’t tell mom I swear like a sailor. Deal?” Shane asked, offering his hand to me. I reluctantly shook his hand and gave him my phone. Thank god the drive home was short. “Alrighty, here you go,” Shane sighed in relief, handing me my phone. “Thanks, John.” Shane got out and walked to our front door.

“Hey, Shane! You left your baseball shit in my trunk!” I yelled at him from my open window. He just waved me off and went inside, so I rolled my window back up and headed to the liquor store…


Halvo’s house was already packed when I arrived fashionably late. Once I greeted my plastered best friend and host, I mingled with the singles at the party. Jared, Kennedy, Pat, Garrett, Shannon, Megan, and Chloe were all here, too. After losing in beer pong to Joel and Austin because Kennedy couldn’t hold his liquor, I joined in a fun game of “Never Have I Ever.” If you’d done what the person said, than you had to throw back a shot of Jack Daniel’s. We were having a good time, but we ran out of Jack Daniels, so I went to the kitchen for some more.

“No, seriously, who invited you? Because we don’t want you here,” Halvo tried to tell some blonde bimbo as sternly as he could, but no one could take him seriously when he was shitfaced.

“You’re drunk, Eric,” the girl he was talking to giggled, and I froze at the sound of her voice. “Now, could you tell me where I can find your friend John?”

“Fucking leave, Jenna!” Halvo shouted drunkenly, making Jenna flinch back into the guy she was with. Jenna’s new boytoy stepped up and threw a punch at Halvo. Jared, Max, and Tim rushed in to split it up, even though the crowd was egging them on and encouraging the fight. Jenna managed to make eye contact with me in the middle of that mess, but I just flipped her the bird and walked out of the house.


Once I was sitting on Halvo’s curb by his mailbox, I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up for a drag. I didn’t want to know what Jenna was doing here. I didn’t want to see her ever again. After going through two cigarettes, I decided it wasn’t really relieving my stress like it normally would. I whipped out my phone. Avery stopped texting me a few hours ago, but I knew just hearing her voicemail would calm me down. I called her. “Hello?” Avery answered groggily.

My heart jumped into my throat. I wasn’t expecting her to pick up. “Hey, Avery!” I said, standing up and stomping out my cigarettes. “Oh, wait…were you asleep?”

“I needed to be woken up,” Avery mumbled. I went to my car to sit on the trunk. “Thanks, John.” I nodded and looked around, knowing full well she couldn’t see me. All the houses were dark and silent save for Halvo’s. The people across from Halvo were just getting home, though. I could make out two people at the front door, walking around on the porch. “What are you doing up so late anyway?”

“I’m at a friend’s party. Just wanted to step out for a breather, though. I’m not really feelin’ the party scene tonight…” I trailed off, looking over my shoulder at Halvo’s house. Jenna didn’t follow me, and the party was still going strong. I hoped the fight was over. I wanted to go help Halvo, but Jenna…

“So you called me why?” Avery laughed, and I heard a dull thud.

To hear your voice. “Hey… are you about to play the piano?” I guessed knowingly, saying that instead of what was on my mind. Avery quietly sighed. “Put me on speaker and play the piano, I want to hear you!” I demanded in a childish manner.

“John,” Avery complained, but I knew she wouldn’t say no to me. “Well, I’ll play you a song…but you can’t laugh at my singing, ok? I have to sing along and play, it’s the way I learned it,” she mumbled.

“Ok!” I happily agreed. Soon enough, Avery was playing and singing “The Gambler” by Fun… “Avery, that was great!” I told her in all honesty. I knew talking to her would calm me down, but hearing her sing made me happy. “I love that song!”

“Really?” Avery asked softly, like she didn’t believe me. “They’re actually one of my favorite –“

Avery gasped and the sound of shattering glass could be heard on her end. I slid off the trunk of my car. “Avery? Avery, are you there?” I could only hear her panicked breaths and more breaking of glass. “What’s going on? Avery!” I yelled, desperate for a response. I was pacing around now in my anxiety. That’s when I noticed how the two figures at the house across the street were rushing inside. They even left the door open and all the lights off in the house.

No fucking way. “Avery, what the fuck is happening?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

Avery’s voice was barely above a whisper. “John, I think someone broke into my house.”

“WHAT?” I yelled in disbelief. Keeping the phone to my ear, I unlocked my trunk. Thank god Shane left his baseball gear here. I grabbed his aluminum baseball bat and took a few practice swings with it before pocketing my phone and slipping into Avery’s house. Sure enough, two men in all black and ski masks were roaming the first floor of the house.

“Shit! There’s someone here!” One of the men yelled before running upstairs. One remained down in the kitchen, and he turned a light on. I hid in the formal dining room, tightening my grip on the aluminum baseball bat. The man in the kitchen began to rummage around in the refrigerator. He pulled out a plate of pasta and shut the fridge, so I made my move. While his back was turned to me and he was facing the microwave, I swung the baseball bat at his knees with as much force as I could.

He yelled out in pain, clutching his knee. The plate crashed to the floor, the shattered pieces flying everywhere. “You prick!” he roared before landing a pretty good punch on my head. It left me dazed, and I dropped the baseball bat, stumbling about the kitchen. Still holding his knee, he hobbled towards me, grabbed me by my collar, and slammed me against the fridge. I t didn’t hurt that bad, actually, since he could only use one hand. I punched his eye, and he let me go, so I grabbed the baseball bat and whacked him in the back of the head this time.

He fell to the ground and stopped moving. I didn’t know if I killed him or not, but I wasn’t about to pull off his mask and check. I grabbed the duck tape from the basket on the island in the kitchen and got to work on duck taping his hands together. I felt kind of…high. I’d never hurt a man before. Well, not with a weapon, until tonight. I felt a little invincible. Just a little, though.

“GET THE HELL AW-“ Avery’s lovely voice was cut off with a definitive slap sound. My heart dropped into my stomach. I grabbed the baseball bat and ran upstairs to the only lit room on the second floor. Avery lay motionless on a wooden desk, the second masked man furiously ripping off her clothing.

I thought I was mad when our stuff got stolen on tour once. That couldn’t even compare to how mad I was right now. I swung the bat at the man’s back over and over until he turned around and faced me, trying to get the bat out of my hands. I just kept on swinging at him, though. I couldn’t quite tell if my vision was tinted red from the alcohol or from my rage. Pretty soon, the man was in a crumpled heap on the ground, and he was begging me to stop, but I was relentless. I swung the bat down hard on his knees, his ribcage, and I would’ve worked my way up to his head if Avery’s slim arms hadn’t wrapped around my waist when they did. “John,” Avery choked out, pressing her face between my shoulder blades. “John, stop, please, just stop it now…”

Panting, I dropped the baseball bat and turned around to properly hug her. Avery’s entire body trembled with uncontrollable sobs. She had been wearing shorts and an oversized shirt, but the masked man had pulled her shorts off and her shirt was ripped so her bare left shoulder was exposed. I was too fucking pissed. “Are you hurt?” I asked hoarsely. I had to start blinking through my own blood then. “Ah, fuck,” I swore when I saw myself in the mirror. The man downstairs got my eyebrow bleeding.

Avery still didn’t say a word, just clung to me so tightly. I noticed her phone on the ground. She had called 911, and someone had answered. It took some tricky maneuvering, but I managed to get it up off the floor of her closet without breaking the hug. “Hello?” I answered the phone operator, pulling Avery onto her bed with me. I explained the situation to the operator. He promised the police and an ambulance were on their way before he hung up.

“Avery?” She looked up at me and only her arms around me stopped me from grabbing the bat and cracking that guy’s skull open. There was a quickly swelling bruise on her pretty face, and her lip was bleeding. “Oh, god, Avery…I’m so sorry. I should’ve come sooner.”

“But you came,” Avery whispered, reaching up to wipe away some of my blood before it got into my eye. “That’s what matters.” I sighed and rested my forehead against hers, closing my eyes.

Oh, Avery...You're the only thing that matters to me.

We heard a bunch of cars driving away for some reason. “Avery…” I leaned in and kissed her bruised cheek. Avery winced a little, but I could see a smile in her eyes. I wanted to kiss her lips, too, but we could hear the police downstairs now. That explained why Halvo’s driveway cleared out so quickly.

The police arrived and took the man with them. Avery was reluctant to leave me and go to the ambulance, but I insisted on it. I had to answer some of the officer's questions. Avery was waiting for me. She ran into my arms and hugged me tightly. I could feel her crying on and kissing my chest. This was as close to heaven as I could get without actually dying. The paramedics cleaned and bandaged us both up. The police were all over her house, so we just sat in the ambulance. They wanted to bring us in for questioning later. "Are you alright?" Avery asked after a while.

I nodded, pulling her closer to me. "Avery...sweetheart, you're shaking like a leaf," I chuckled before pulling off my jacket and draping it around her slight frame.

"It was s-so fucking sc-sc-scary," Avery stammered, still trembling.

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "It's over now, Avery, it's all over. Go back to sleep. Want me to sing you to sleep?" I asked, and I felt her nod on my chest. "Alright..." I sang to Avery until I felt her body grow heavy with sleep. Then I laid her down on the gurney and left to talk to the police.

"Excuse me, officer? You got the man in the kitchen too, right? There was a second man, and I knocked him out and bound his wrists with duck tape, so..." I trailed off when I saw the way they were looking at me. "What's wrong?"

"Son," the police officer began hesitantly. "...There was nothing in the kitchen but some pasta and a broken plate all over the floor."

Fuck my life.