You Can't Tell Me to Heal

“Halvo!” I yelled, rushing up the stairs. I knew what room he was staying in. He always claimed the same room whenever he came over to the lake house, which was often because he was one of my best friends. Or so I thought. I’ll be damned if he thinks he’s sharing that room with Avery. I was more angry at Halvo than Avery for this. I know, I know. What happened to “bros before hos”? Well, Avery was not a ho… I think.

“Let me guess, you’ve met my girlfriend Avery?” he laughed, walking out of the room and going downstairs. “Try no t to stare too much, bro.”

I pushed him into the wall and saw his eyes widen in alarm. “Don’t ‘bro’ me,” I said through gritted teeth. “Girlfriend? Avery Lassiter is not your girlfriend!”

“Um, yes she is,” Halvo laughed, brushing my hands off of him.

“I’ve been dating her for the past three weeks, Halvo. I’m pretty sure she’s not your girlfriend!” Halvo said nothing. His face just went completely blank before he smirked. That smirk really ticked me off. I shoved him into the wall again, even harder than before. “What the fuck, Halvo? How could you do that to me? To me?” I yelled, resisting the urge to punch him with all my might.

“John,” he laughed, holding my wrists and trying to pry my hands off his shoulders. “You’re gonna hurt yourself, bro. Let’s sit down and talk about this.”

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, keeping him pinned to the wall. “What is there to talk about, Halvo? You’ve been cheating with my girlfriend! So now I know it’s you she ditches me for, you that she calls her ‘best friend’. Fucking…what the hell, man!”

Now Halvo looked genuinely scared. Good. “Look, John, it’s not-“

“Fuck that, Halvo!” I slammed him against the wall again. His hands dropped from my wrists to clutch the back of his head. Good. I wanted him to hurt. “Dammit, she’s the first one after Jenna, and the first one I’ve really cared about in a long time, and you –“

“John!” Avery ran between us and pushed me off Halvo. “What in the world are you-“

“So it’s true?” I asked brokenly, looking at them together. Avery was gently rubbing the back of Halvo’s head, helping him off the wall. “He’s your boyfriend, huh?”

Avery turned to look at me with that “deer-in-headlights” look in her eyes, with that “Fuck-I’ve-been-caught” expression on her face. I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t want the things Halvo was saying to be true. It killed me.“What? No, John, that’s-“

“How long were you going to lead me along, huh?” I asked angrily. “You call my best friend your boyfriend, but you’re dating me at the same time? You fucking slut.”

Avery got angry, too. “John O’Callaghan, you know I don’t deserve to be called that. I have never given you any reason not to trust me. Now, if we clear up this little misunderstanding-“

“Misunderstanding?” I repeated, staring at Avery incredulously. How could she stand there and pretend to be innocent in all this? “There is no misunderstanding. I get it, Avery. You cheated on your boyfriend with me, and we happened to be best friends. You just lead us both on. I bet there’s even more guys you’re ‘dating.’ Ha! Didn’t think you’d get caught, right?” I sneered. Avery had no response for me. Figures. “You need to leave. This is my lake house. It’s bros before hos here, and you don’t even deserve to be called a ho. You’re worse than that, you fucking whore.”

Avery had tears in her eyes now. The only time I’d ever seen her cry was the first time I met her, when I pushed her and she fell. I guess I was good at making her cry, at hurting her. But it still hurt me to do it. “John, “ Halvo started, getting to his feet from where he was sitting on the bottom stair. “It’s really-“

“Halvo, don’t,” I said stiffly, shoving him away and turning around. I didn’t even want to look at them, either of them anymore. Halvo - I could probably find it in my heart to forgive him. Avery was a different story… Deep down, I knew I could never stay mad at her, or stay away from her for very long. Dammit.

“Fuck!” Avery suddenly shouted. Like I knew I would, I turned back around to see what happened. I had pushed Halvo into her, and she fell down on the stairs, on her knees. Before I knew what I was doing, I was rushing over to help her up…but so was Halvo. “Fuck off!” She yelled at the both of us so loudly we both backed up.

“Avery?” Shannon called her name, and she ran towards us. “Avery! What the-“

“Help me,” Avery said through gritted teeth, fiercely rubbing away her tears. Shannon helped Avery to her feet, but Avery was still shaking from the pain. “Halvo, I told you it was a bad idea,” she said shakily, and Halvo hung his head. “I never wanted to do it, and you told me to. Dammit. You work this out, or I will hate you for the rest of my life,” Avery sobbed, letting Shannon help her outside. “Take me home,” I heard Avery tell Shannon weakly. The door closed and the house was silent.

I closed my eyes and unfortunately felt a tear slide down my cheek. Exhaling sharply, I turned away from Halvo so he couldn’t see me. I wasn’t a little whiny bitch, but my heart wasn’t made of stone. It could only take so much damage. I never thought someone other than Jenna could make me hurt this much. I was wrong, because Avery hurt me more. But that’s how I knew I felt more for her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck a fucking duck,” Halvo muttered to himself before shoving me onto the living room couch. “No!” He yelled when he saw me about to say something. “You’re going to sit there and listen to what I have to say, because you were a douche bag to Avery, and no one should be a douche bag to Avery!”

…And as I sat there, listening to Halvo's explanation, I never regretted anything in my life more than I regretted saying all those things to Avery.

It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.