Welcome to My Reality Show

My heart stopped. My breathing hitched, and my throat tightened. I felt like my stomach was trying to come up out of my throat. My eyes stung with tears as I stared up at the dark ceiling while the man that I loved was already out cold. His soft snores that I once found adorable, I wanted to run away from, even if his iron grip wouldn’t allow it. I wonder what he’s dreaming about? Is it me and him, or someone else? What’s on his mind? Is he really that drunk that he didn’t understand what in the fuck he was saying? This is why I hate love and lust. Lust can be dressed up like love. Love is blind. Love is wonderful, and at times, you wish you could die. I wanted nothing more than to cry until I couldn’t cry anymore. It hurt like hell. I was hurting.
No one ever wants to hear someone they love call them another name. It hurts. It means that the person you love, still has some kind of hold on that person. Most of the time, it’s just an old nick-name, or even an item that was given to them by that person. Sometimes the name is even spout off durning an argument. Never have I ever heard of someone drunkingly ramble out an ‘I love you’ with a different name attatched. I guess I would expect it if we were just started dating, but not a year and a half into our marriage. Alex swore that he loves me, yet he was rambling and somehow got me mixed up with his ex-girlfriend that he apparently still had feelings for. I thought that we went through this last year, but I guess he’s still attached to her. I sort of understood, but it just hurts me.
Alex’s head moved, and snuggled even closer to my body. I took in another deep breathe, and slowly started to wiggle out of his grip. When he finally starts to move in his sleep, his grip usually loosens. Seconds after he snuggled closer, his arm moved from the lock he had. I shoved his arm off of me, and sat up. As quickly as I could move, I escaped from the bed and his vice grip. I stared at the drunken, sleeping man on our bed. He had gripped onto the pillow, and if I wasn’t so upset, I would have found it adorable. I wanted to scoff, I wanted to kick his ass from here to Europe. I was furious. I was heartbroken. I needed to get away.
I picked up my hoodie and my room key card. I needed to be away from Alex. I couldn’t share a bed with a man that had just told me that he still loved his ex-girlfriend. I slipped out of the hotel room with just my key. I left my phone sitting on the beside table. I could care less if he’s worried when he wakes up. For all he knows, nothing even happened. I couldn’t deal with it either way. I took another minute to gather myself so I wouldn’t break down, and I made my way to Mickie and Jack’s room. I knocked on the door, and a half naked, and awake, Jack answered the door. He rubbed his eyes, and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Mac...what’s going on?” He asked through a yawn.
“Can I stay here until we’re ready to head toward the venue?” I asked him sadly. Jack nodded and moved to let me in.I walked in, and he followed me. Mickie sat up in the bed that I assumed they were sharing. She looked confused, and furrowed her brows.
“What’s going on?”
“Mickie...” I trailed off. The blonde stood up, and walked quickly over to me. She hugged me tightly around the neck, and I hugged her back. I let the tears star to slowly fall down my cheeks. I cried into her shoulder, and she patted my back slowly.
“What happened?”
“Alex did,” I mumbled.
“What did he do this time?” She asked.
“Everything,” I mumbled. I closed my eyes and continued to cry. When did I turn into this girl that was so easily hurt by a stupid boy? Why didn’t I just knock him on his ass while I had the chance? I have no idea why I didn’t. I just...couldn’t.
“Please tell me what happened,” Mickie pleaded.
“He...he got really, really drunk,” I started, pulling away from her embrace. I moved over toward the empty bed, and I sat down. Jack and Mickie both took seats on the shared bed, and stared at me, ready for an explination. “He came back to the room,and he started rambling about how bad of a person he is, and about all this pointless shit. Then he started being really sweet. Like, he was telling me how amazing I was, and it made me less mad at him. Then he said that he loved Lisa,”
Jack eyed me carefully.
“What...were his exact words?”
“I love you, Lisa.” I mocked, looking up at the ceiling to avoid anymore tears from falling.
“That fucker!” Mickie nearly yelled. “Who the fuck does he think he is! I’m eight seconds from marching toward your room, busting the door down, and beating the hell out of his ass!”
I shook my head.
“Just leave that to me,” I stated. “I’ll rip him to shreds when I see him later,”
“I can’t believe that he said that,” Jack shook his head. “I’m...I’m here for you if you ever...need me,”
“Thanks, Jack,” I smiled sadly at him. “We better get to sleep. Mickie and I have a red carpet to go to tomorrow,”
“I don’t understand how you’re so calm right now,” Mickie pouted. “Why aren’t you even angry?”
“I am angry.” I stated. “I’m fucking furious, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. He said it, and there is nothing to take that back,” Mickie nodded. I put my room key on the bedside table beside me. I laid down on the bed, and stared up above me. I felt movement and noticed that Mickie and moved on the bed with me. I looked over at my best friend, and she smiled sadly. I grabbed her in a short hug before letting go. “You’re the best, best friend ever.”
“Thanks,” She mumbled.
I cuddled into my best friend and fell asleep.

♥

“What do you guys need for today?” Matt asked us while we were getting our hair and make-up done. E! News brought in our very one glam team for the event we had today. So Larry was back to filming part of the reality show today for us. I’ve already done a confessional with the camera’s explaining how fucking pissed off I am. I haven’t spoken to Alex all day, not that he has talked to me either.
“I think that they’ve got it covered for today, Matt,” I replied in a monotone voice. “But I would really love some water, please?”
“Me too,” Mickie added, smiling at him.
He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, use Matt as a butler,”
“Not a bulter, more like a maid,” I laughed.
Matt rolled his eyes at us.
“Anything else?”
His question was ignored, and Mickie went on to joke with me.
“We can even get him one of those naughty maid outfits!”
Mikie giggled.
I looked at him jokingly.
“He does have the legs for it...”
“Fuck you both,” He laughed, walking away from us.
“Ah! Come on!” Mickie giggled, yelling after him.
“Don’t be that way! We love you, Matty Mouse!” I called, but he kept walking. “He aint coming back,”
“Thanks for the update, Hoss.” She rolled her eyes.
Our hair dressers were laughing at us, but grabbed out attention back by making us face toward the vanity mirrors set up in front of us. She played with my hair a little bit before looking at my hair extensions. I was about to ask her what she was doing, but I decided to go ahead and let her do whatever she was going to do. She held up one finger and disappeared from behind my chair. I snuck a confused glance over at Mickie. The blond just shrugged, and looked back in the mirror. Her hairdresser was beginning to curl her hair.
“I’m going to replace your hair extensions. They’re starting to come out just a little bit, and you’re hair has lightened up some,” The hair dresser exclaimed. “Is that okay?”
“Do whatever you want,” I replied. I sounded bored to death, but the truth is, I’m still pissed.
“Here’s your water,” Matt rolled his eyes, and handed them over. “You do realize that you still have to do soundcheck with the guys, and tech stuff before you leave right?”
“MATT!” I yelled, almost laughing. “That’s not fair!”
“Life isn’t fair, Mackenzie. We still have a huge show to do tonight. We’re going to need all the crew members especially since we’re short two. You know that we’re a family, but the show has to go on. I’m counting on you Asesino,”
“Alright. Just go get me my radio.” I nodded and he turned around to leave. “Remind me to kill him in his sleep,”
Mickie rolled her eyes at me.
“What are you going to do about Alex?”
I huffed.
“I don’t honestly know, Mickie.”
“What about divorce?” She asked me, her tone getting dead serious.
“I can’t,” I huffed, looking into the mirror.
“Why the hell not? He said some other girl’s name when he said that he loved you,”
“Divorce isn’t an option, Makayla.” I replied. “I told Alex that from the beginning.”
“But you are going to do something, aren’t you?”
“Yes...” I trailed off, just in time to see Matt and Alex walking toward us. Alex had a somber look on his face, and I wanted to laugh. He should look that bad. He had it coming to him. “Here comes dip shit now,”
Mickie shook her head, and looked back at her reflection.
“Hey, Mac...” Alex trailed off.
“Here’s your radio, Killer. Remember, you have a job to do, okay?”
“I’ve got it Matt. I’ll start as soon as I’m finished here.” I half-smiled at the tour manager. I ignored my husband as the hairstylist worked closerly on my hair extensions. “Stacy?”
The hairstylist stopped and looked up at me.
“Yes?”
“How much longer to you think it will be?”
She just laughed.
“Another hour or two,”
I nodded.
“I can wait,”
“Mac...can we..”
“Do you think that they can be a little shorter than my last ones?”
“Yes, Mrs. Gaskarth,” She smiled.
“Call me Mac,”
“Alright, ma’am,” Stacy nodded.
Alex chewed on his lip.
“Mackenzie, we really need to talk...”
“Ya know what, Mickie?”
“No, what?” She asked me, almost laughing.
“Boys who piss of girls deserve to beg on their hands and knees.” I stated coldly. “They should have to apologize in every way possible in vain,”
“Mackenzie...” Alex trailed off.
“I think I want some glitter on my face for this one,” I stated, looking at myself once again.
“Excuse me, Stacy, is it?” He interrupted. “Yeah, I need my wife for five minutes,”
“It’s gonna take a whole lot longer than that...”
“I’m working on her hair, Sir. You can wait.”
Alex groaned.
“How long?”
“About an hour,” She replied.
I shrugged.
“Or longer,” I added.
“I’ll be back..and then I’ve got to talk to you,”
“No, Alex. I have to talk to you.” I retorted.
Alex took a deep breathe and walked away.
The storms about to come, that’s for sure.