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Welcome to My Reality Show

Crazy Life

“I said noooooooo,” I laughed loudly as Alex carried me toward the deep end of the pool. “Why don’t you ever listen to me?”
“Because I’m older,” Alex stuck out his tongue at me.
“Oh really, because you’re acting like a five-year old babe,” I retorted.
Alex laughed and pressed a slow kiss to my lips.
“It’s a part of my charm.” He retorted. “Now can we?”
“Alex, no!” I playfully scolded. “Not in a pool and that is final.”
“Come on, you’re no fun!”
“I deserve to be pissed at you, mister.” I stated, pushing away from him so I could dive underneath the water. Alex pulled onto my hands until I was on the surface again. “What?”
“We’re not done with this conversation darling.”
“Yes, we are.” I sighed before trying to pull away. However, Alex grabbed me again, and pulled me flat against his chest. I finally ended my struggle to get free. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips fully against his. He held me tightly, and rubbed circles in my back underneath the water.
“I want us to go back to normal.”
“You can’t just toss everything aside and force it back.”
“I know that,” He admitted before he kissed me slowly again. “I love you so much. You have to know that. You have to know how crazy I am about you, okay?”
“I know,” I sighed, hugging him tighter. “Just give us a few days. Mickie and I have a few more events to do while you work.”
“Don’t try to miss me.” He laughed. “Come on, let’s get out. I’m getting all pruned up.”
I shook my head at Alex before letting him go. The two of us got out of the pool, and headed on up to the hotel room. I was rather enjoying our date. It had been a really long time that we were able to be ourselves. Ever since we’ve been promoting our reality show, things have been really weird. We have been different. It didn’t help that Alex and I had our marital problems. It’s hard to try to get back to normal.
I know that nothing much will change after tonight. I can feel it. It’s just one of those things. I can’t automatically fix Alex’s drinking problem. I can’t fix whatever insecurity he has, along with my own. I can’t do all of that while trying to launch my own clothing line off of the ground. I can’t be all of the things that he needs me to be.
I think that is what honestly scares me the most. I’m not totally sure if I’m what Alex needs anymore. Now that I think about it, I just know my husband for who he is right now. I barely know anything about his past. It’s rather un-nerving that his fans know more about my husband than I do. I don’t want to google him or ask someone for random facts on him. I hear the music he plays, and I can hear the pain in a lot of the songs. I just can’t pinpoint it. It’s weird that he hasn’t spoken about it. I guess I am rather paranoid when it comes to him.
“Please stop thinking so loud. You’re giving me a headache, Kido.” He joked.
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sorry, does my thinking offend you?”
“Only when your attention should be on me the way my attention is on you,”
“You attention whore,” I laughed. “And my attention is on you, as a matter of fact,”
“I meant the actual me, not the thought of me, Mac.” He rolled his eyes. His hands ran up and down my arms. “What’s bothering you?”
“I’m just…over-thinking really,” I laughed. “I get like that ya know.”
“I know,” Alex laughed. “I think that it’s a part of your charm.”
“I thought so too.”
“I love you baby.” He sighed.
I smiled at Alex and went ahead to step out of the elevator.
“It’s getting late, we should go to sleep.”

“Mackenzie, you are looking gorgeous!” Another no-named interviewer stated as I stopped for a brief interview.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“And who are you wearing?”
“Me actually,” I laughed. “This dress is from my own collection that is coming out later this year.”
“No way!” The girl smiled and looked at the camera. “This dress is gorgeous. You look stunning as usual.”
“Thank you,”
“So you’re fairly young, still nineteen, and you’re married to a rock star, correct?”
“Yeah,” I laughed.
“How in the world did that come about?”
“We met through our parents, and we just clicked instantly. We just had this really strong connection. So we got married rather quickly after we met.”
“Usually marriages like that don’t work out, but you two seem to really complete each other,”
“Yeah, we’re very much different. We have strong personalities, so it’s been weird. It’s not easy, nothing ever is, but I think it’s worth it.”
“You have a show coming out on the E! Network called Meet The Gaskarth’s. Can you explain to me what we’re going to expect?”
“Some laughs, tears, yelling, and bunch of cursing. Some nudity,” I laughed.
“Not from you, I hope?”
I laughed.
“No, no, no, mostly from Alex’s best friend Jack.”
“That’s fun.”
“Yeah, he is in the show a whole lot. Most of All Time Low is, along with my best friend Mickie. We have a lot of fun, and it gets really crazy sometimes. We’re kind of like the Kardashians.”
“Loads of fun to look forward to then, correct?”
“Yeah,” I laughed.
“Thanks for stopping by!”
“You’re welcome,” I smiled and waved before I left to walk on down the carpet. I posed the rest of the way with Mickie. She had gotten called for a separate interview. It made me laugh how indemand we seemed to be. Just nearly two years ago, we were graduation from a high school in Las Vegas. It was weird to think about how drastically our lives have changed since then.
“Do you know how many questions I got about the rumored romance between me and Jack?”
“You were dating,”
“But he broke up with me,” Mickie sighed heavily. “It’s just weird to hear people talking about us.”
“Relax, Mick. They’re not going to know that anything really is up until that episode airs.”
“Thanks,” Mickie rolled her eyes. “Does Jack know that? Because he has a loud ass mouth,”
“I know this,” I laughed with her while we posed. “Is it just me or do all of the interviewers look the same?”
Mickie and I paused from talking, and smiled at the photographers that seemed to be a normal part of our lives now.
“They all look the same.”
“I thought so too.”
“Except for the E! News crew. I can actually pick them out. I know who they are,”
“Me too,” I laughed before we were able to head on inside to another boring event. It seems that it was all I got to do on tour anymore. “I miss not doing this.”
“It was fun at first. Now it is just getting on my nerves.” My best friend pouted. I laughed at her and made a face.
“You poor baby.”
“I know!” Mickie laughed. “I want to go watch our boys.”
“I do too.” I agreed. “How about at the next one of these things that we decide to do we just sneak out the back with hoodies and beanies?”
“I love the way you think my bestest friend,” Mickie stated, holding up her hand for a high five.
I rolled my eyes and high fived my best friend. I was getting sick of this lifestyle already. I just wanted to go back to Maryland and get back to normal. I knew that it couldn’t really happen that way, but I desperately wanted it to. I want everything to just slow down. I’m feeling way to overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t know how Alex puts up with this every single day for the past eight years. I could barely handle it for a few months.
I need to really. really talk to Alex before I snap.
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I don't have time to really write. I'm a busy prego lady guys!!!! Everything that I post has either been written or pre-written, expect for this.


xoxo Rae