The Ghost of You

It was about 4 A.M. when Andrew stirred. I was stroking his face and just marveling at how beautiful he was while he slept. He looked younger in his sleep and at random moments a tiny smile would creep onto his face. "Lilly," he whimpered quietly. Andrew was calling my name in his sleep again. I lightly kissed the crease in his forehead. "Shh," I soothed," I'm still here."

A few minuets went buy and Andrew would still call out my name until he woke up. "Hey," I said, smiling," what were you dreaming about?" Andrew blinked and sucked in a breath before he grabbed my leg and swung it across him, then pulled me until I rested on top of him. "You." he whispered. "I dreamt that you left me."

I thought of that while Andrew slept. I thought that I could leave in the middle of the night, let him think yesterday was just a dream,and eventually he would move on with his life. Maybe he could manage to completely forget me.

I came very close to leaving,I climbed out of the bed and opened his bedroom door. I turned back to look at him when he called my name for the first time. I thought he had woken up,but I saw his eyes were still closed.

And I couldn't bring myself to leave him,at least not yet. I couldn't stay here forever,I knew that for sure. If I stayed, I would feel like I was taking Andrew's life from him because he would never get married,or have children,or move on from his murder victim ghost girlfriend.

So,for the first time, I lied to Andrew." I wouldn't leave you." my voice was shaky. Andrew smiles and rubs his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Around 4 in the morning." I answer lying my head over his heart. The beat was strong and steady and his skin was so warm. I kissed his bare skin all the way up until I came close to his lips. They hovered there,above his. Andrew's eyes were closed. Slowly I pressed my lips against his.

I trailed my tongue along his lips and Andrew's hands were tangled in my hair. He rolled so that he was on top of me and his mattress gives a tiny squeak.

I smile at the memory of Andrew and I doing more than just making out in his room. His old mattress would squeak and I would laugh because I always thought everyone would hear us. If I was alive, my face would probably be red right now.

Andrew pulled away from my lips and pushed my messy hair out of my face. "Let's get out of here." he whispered. I traced his lips with my finger and he playfully bit it then kissed it."Where?'' I whispered back. Andrew rolled off of me and got out of bed. Quickly,he changed into some faded jeans and a gray T-shirt. "The meadow." he answered.

We were watching the sun rise under our tree in the meadow. We did this a lot when I would sleep over at Andrew's house. He always woke up early and wanted to watch the sun rise with me,under our tree.

I watched as the large glowing sphere rose slowly into the cloudless morning sky. It cast sunbeams in every direction while it illuminated the meadow. Andrew held me as a light wind blew as the colors made by the rising sun changed,growing more vivid as the time passed.

And then I saw something strange. It was in the middle of the meadow,a bright shinning light. It was way too bright to be a ray from the rising sun.

"Andrew?" I called to him quietly,my eyes locked on the light. It looked almost a portal that you see in movies,but made out of white light. It was about as tall as I was. I felt drawn to it.

Andrew was busy giving me butterfly kisses."Yes?" he murmured. "Do you see that?" I asked pointing to the veil of light. It was getting closer now and coming towards me.

Andrew looked up and his eyes followed in the direction my finger was pointing. "What am I supposed to be looking for?" he asked quietly. He couldn't see it? How?! It was right in front of us,almost touching my feet.

"The light!" I said. I stood and stared into it. I couldn't see anything in it. My arm automatically reached out to touch it. It was cold to the touch, but gradually warmed the longer my hand rested in the bright light.

"What are you doing?" Andrew asked beside me. I jerked my arm away and looked at him."You don't see it?" I whispered. Andrew shook his head.

I turned back to the light. I wanted to touch it again. Instead, I grabbed Andrew's hand and stuck it deep into the pool of light."Can you feel that?" I asked sticking my free hand into the light. Andrew shook his head."You can't feel the warmth? Or see the light?" Another head shake from Andrew.

"Come into the light, Lilly." It was a light female voice whispering to me. Andrew jerked his hand back and looked around. "I might not be able to see what your talking about,but I heard that. Did you?" Andrew looked pale. I nodded.

"Let her go,Andrew." the voice said again."Come in,Lilly."

"It's coming from the light." I whispered."Who are you?" I asked the voice. There was no answer,just the voice telling me to come into the light.

It seemed like forever that I stood there,with my hands deep in the pool of light. "Go." Andrew's voice broke the silence.

Slowly I turned to him. "What?" I asked. Andrew's face showed no emotion and his voice was broken."Go." he said again."We need to move on from each other. You can't stay here forever." His eyes were getting watery,but he blinked away the tears. He took in a shaky breath."Go." he said again louder this time.

I know I was thinking of quietly leaving Andrew,but having him to tell me to go hurt. A lot. Some part of me wished that Andrew would beg me to stay with him,but I was also glad...in a strange way.

"You want me to go?" I asked,my voice shook. I was scared to go in the pool of light now,what if I could never see Andrew again? Andrew pulled me into an embrace. He shook and my throat tightened. "I love you." he whispered in my hair. He took another deep breath in my hair and released me before giving me a long passionate kiss.

"I love you,Andrew. I love you,I love you so much." I said it over and over again before I turned to the light. "Live you life,baby. Be as happy as you can possibly be,and play your guitar,and find someone to love." I whispered. I turned back,one last time to look at him.

I made sure all his features was burned into my brain forever. A few tears fell from his eyes and he blew me a kiss." I'll see you soon,Lilly." He turned and began walking away.

I stepped into the light and I was blinded.

Andrew's final words echoed in my head.

What did he mean by that?