Broken Minds

Everyone was sitting around the waiting room for word on the singer. The show had been canceled with no date for a rescheduled performance and a lot of fans were disappointed; however, that turned into worry once word started getting around he was taken to the hospital unconscious only minutes before they were supposed to take the stage.

All the guys had turned off their cell phones because they were blowing up with tweets to each of them repeatedly asking about William and all the speculations and rumors going around that he’d overdosed or tried to commit suicide or was attacked. They didn’t want to answer and were hoping it’d pass over time without ever having to say what really happened.

A doctor walked out into the room, they were all either sitting or standing nervously, and he saw the look of worry written on their faces. They quickly gathered around the man in the long white coat as he stood straight, trying to make himself look taller than he was to the men who were all taller than him.

“Mr. Beckett is awake and alert now. However he is severely underweight and some of the cuts on his arms had to be cleaned up. He will be fine. It’ll take awhile though, I’m not going to lie.” The doctor looked like he was going to say more but stopped himself for a moment. “I understand he is in a band that is on tour right now, however, I advice him to refrain from that activity right now. His body is in such a weakened state that it’s just too much. He’d undoubtedly collapse again in time. I know he doesn’t want to stay here any longer than we are obligated to in order for observation. In return of us releasing him after 24 hours, we want him checked into a rehab facility within another 24 hours. He can’t continue to function with his previous ways and he can’t get better on his own,” he finally finished. Everyone nodded their agreement and were then let go to see William.

Sisky, Mike, Chizzy and Butcher went in first, per Gabe’s request. He wasn’t sure he was fully ready to see the man he still loved. They walked in and stood around the bed where William was lying. Their faces blank not sure of what to say having found out so much about him in such a short time.

“Why?” Sisky asked suddenly. William only shrugged, he wasn’t sure how to respond. “You need to get help.” Again not saying anything he only nodded. He didn’t want to argue with his friends.

No one knew what to say to William after that and stood around uncomfortably until deciding, after five minutes of silence, to leave. They told him they’d be back or at least someone would when he’s released. As glad as they were he was going to be fine, they were thoroughly pissed at what had been going on right in front of them and never knew.

“We’re going back to the bus for the night,” Butcher told Gabe. As they all walked past him the anger showing slightly on their faces. Honestly, Gabe couldn’t blame them, he was pissed too, but he’d known this was going on before. He watched them disappear around the corner before stepping up to the door with his hand on the handle hesitating actually going in.

Slowly he opened the door and stepped into the doorway and chanced a glance into the room. William saw his head and with a small smile nodded it was alright for him to come in. When Gabe fully entered the room he couldn’t believe how pale William looked against the stark white sheet covering his lower half and the pale blue gown he was in. Upon walking closer he noticed the IV that should have been in his wrist, which were wrapped in white, didn’t hold the IV instead it was placed in the top of his hand.

Gabe made his way closer to the younger man, debating whether to sit or stand and if he sat where to do so. William made it easier on him by moving slightly and patting the bed next to his leg. The only thing Gabe could think to do at the time was to follow what William had wanted. Once he was next to the bed William patted the spot again and this time Gabe sat on the edge of the bed facing him.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes, Gabe looking down but at the bandages wrapped securely around the other’s wrists. He could see the thinness of his arms and his body even through the floppy gown and thin sheet. Finally, he looked up at the boy with sadness written all over his face.

“Bill,” Gabe started quietly.

“I know.” William didn’t need to hear the rest of that. He knew Gabe wondered why he let it get so bad. “I’m sorry. Gabe. R-really, I am.”

“You wouldn’t let me help you when I tried.” William could see wetness building in Gabe’s eyes and felt his start to do the same. “You should have.”

“I-I know.” William looked down at his hands in lap and idly picked at the tape holding the IV in place. “I let it go too far. I really thought maybe for a minute I could fix myself.”

“You couldn’t though could you?” William shook his head his hair falling into his face. “You know what has to happen when you leave here, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Gabe looked at him waiting for him to say it. It was a long minute before William finally said the words, “I have to go to rehab.”

“Exactly. Don’t fuck it up Bill. I still love you.” Gabe’s voice changed from being stern to gentle in a flash as he said those last words William missed hearing.

“I love you too.” William wiped at a tear as it started to slide down his cheek.

They continued to sit in silence for a few more minutes trying to think of something to say. The silence was starting to grow uncomfortable. They both still loved each other, but William knew Gabe wouldn’t take him back, not right now, especially with him currently sitting in hospital bed after collapsing before one of his own shows.

“Do you have a place picked out where you’re going?” Gabe questioned finally.

“Back to Chicago. Um…” William trailed off trying to recall the name of the place. “Mercy Rehabilitation Center.”

“Please just get better.” Gabe said standing. William nodded as Gabe leaned down hugging him as tight as he dared before walking toward the door. “I’ll see you around.”

“Bye Gabe,” William said quietly as the door shut behind the older man.

It had been decided to keep William a little longer than initially planned so he could gain back a little bit more strength. They were going to release him not that next night after the initial 24 hours, but the following evening after that when he would board a flight and go straight to rehab.

That evening when he was being released Sisky was the only one there to pick him up. He had his bag in his hand for his plane ride back to Chicago. William followed dejectedly, he wished the others had shown up but seeing as they were all still technically mad at him they were riding back on the bus to do a few signings to make up for some fans at the sudden cancellation of the tour.

While waiting to board his flight he and Sisky sat in silence, something that seemed all too common anymore. There were a few fans mingling around the airport and spotted the two of them but didn’t go up to them. William saw a flash go off when one of them took a picture and groaned loudly and slouched down in the hard plastic chair crossing him arms tightly over his thin frame. Sisky had seen it too and immediately got up and went over to the fans and told them to not take pictures. They looked like they were going to cry but neither Sisky nor William really cared at the time. They weren’t in the mood to deal with pictures being put out there of William in the state he was in. Too many more rumors would start off that picture. They saw the girls leave and go back to where they had been waiting previously.

Finally, William boarded his flight and he knew Sisky left just after he disappeared down the terminal. He sat in his seat to wait. He didn’t enjoy flying but he just wanted to get away from everyone for a bit anyway so it didn’t bother him this time. William was thankful when the seat next to him was left empty as the plane took off for O’Hare.

When he got off the plane he saw a lot of people waiting for family and friends to arrive. There was a man standing off to the side in khaki’s and polo with a jacket in his arms. He walked toward William when he saw him exit.

“William Beckett?” the man questioned. He was just as tall as William, and looked him square in the eyes.

“Y-yes.” The man made him nervous with the intensity of his gaze.

“Name’s Derek, and I’m your ride to Mercy.” The man didn’t hold out his hand or offer any more as he led the younger man to baggage claim. Once he had his bag William followed silently as they made their way to the car.

Derek put his bag in the trunk and opened the backdoor for William to climb in. He wasn’t looking forward to being crammed in the backseat, even if he was alone, his legs were simply too long to make it comfortable. Derek walked around and got in and started driving without a word.

It was nearly midnight by the time the car pulled up to a building with a huge lit up sign reading “Mercy Rehabilitation Center” in a somewhat fancy script. He wanted to groan and open the door, to jump out and leave, run away to somewhere other than rehab. He didn’t feel he really needed it despite what everyone told him.

The car stopped in front of the steel double doors and Derek got out. William closed his eyes not ready to get out of the vehicle just yet. He heard the door open and felt the man grab hold of his arm and practically pull him out of the car. With a still firm grip on the younger man’s arm he lead him quickly up to the doors and opened them. William tripped no less than three times in that short distance thanks to the hurried pace Derek was making him take when he was still slightly uncoordinated and not at his best physically.

Upon entering the building William was nearly blinded by the harsh lighting in the entrance hallway. He was dragged up to the desk there and waited for someone to arrive. Finally, a younger man of about 30 showed up with a smile. He saw the two standing there one of which looked like he wanted to run and the other not happy to be escorting such a person.

“Here’s William Beckett,” Derek demanded, pushing the younger man toward the counter. The other man behind the counter nodded and moved out of site only for a side door to open revealing him standing there. William noticed he had a solid husky build, but he looked so much friendlier than Derek ever could.

“Thank you Derek. I’ve got it from here.” Derek left without ever looking back. The man grabbed William’s arm but not nearly with the force he was capable of and not as harsh as Derek had. He was led through the door that revealed a hallway that broke off into several more hallways. “I’m Kyle. I’m the nurse that works nights here.”

Kyle led William down several halls before stopping in front of a door. He opened it and they both stepped in to the dimly lit room. There was a twin-sized bed against the wall with a dresser across from it. Other than that and the barred window there wasn’t much to the small room.

“This is your room during your stay. Feel free to make it as homey as you’d like.” Kyle mentioned with a smile. “Um, it’s late, so I’ll let you get some rest and tomorrow we’ll start everything we need to do.”

Kyle left shutting the door behind him and William stayed standing next to the door. He was desperately tired but didn’t want to sleep. He was afraid of what was going to happen, what they were going to make him do. Most of all he didn’t want to get back to the weight he was before everything.

Slowly, hesitantly, he made his way over to the bed and sat down. It wasn’t the most comfortable bed; it was firm, not soft at all. He figured he was going to have to get used to it because he wasn’t sure how long he was going to have to try to sleep on it. He lay back with his hands clasped behind his head as he stared at the ceiling wanting sleep to take over but having no such luck. The last thing he remembered was seeing the pinks and oranges in the sky as the sun was starting to rise.