Close Up

“I think it’s fucking stupid that we can’t room together,” Tyler whined, swirling around another soggy fry in his watered-down ketchup. “I mean, it isn’t like they haven’t taught us about sex or anything. I’m pretty sure those slides they showed us in seventh grade did the trick.”

He giggled, chomping down onto his French fry. The rest of the table erupted into laughter around him, as if he were the funniest guy since Adam Sandler, who I never even found that entertaining in the first place. I tried not to roll my eyes too obviously. I mean, girlfriends have to keep up some sort of appearance, right? I caught Mallory’s eye across the table and she made a face. I could always count on her to think the same way about things.

“Aw, come on, babe,” Tyler said, leaning into me with his shoulder. He tilted his plate of food at me in what I guess was supposed to be a “want one?” gesture, but he almost lost his grip, catching it at the last second. “You know I’m just kidding,” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “Although it would be nice.”

I opened my mouth, hoping that a laugh would come out, and it did. Everyone else chuckled around me, a few of the guys making ooo noises at Tyler.

“Hey, Tyler! Maybe Mrs. Vaughn will be your room advisor. You won’t have a single peaceful night!” Seth hooted from across the table, pounding his fists on the Formica like some kind of gorilla. “You’d probably have to lock her out!”

“Yeah man, she’s wanted your dick since at least freshman year,” Andrew added in from the other side of Tyler.

“I can’t help it,” Tyler said around a mouthful of greasy fries. Ketchup dripped down onto his shirt. “I’m just too sexy for my own good.”

A chorus of, “You better watch out, Remy!” floated around the lunch table. I just took another swig from my water, trying to sink down the annoyance settling in my stomach. Teenage boys always acted socially retarded whenever they got together, especially if girls happened to be in their presence. Like the testosterone was just too much for their tiny little brains. I should feel sorry for them, if anything. It was just so stupid sometimes, how the other guys always rallied around Tyler. He was the head gorilla in their pack of Neanderthals. But Mrs. Vaughn was actually really nice, and it bothered me to hear them talk about her like that for some reason.

“Whatever,” I finally said after things had quieted down a little. “She has Mr. Flint to go home to every night. I have no idea why she would ever pick you. Things are a little lacking down there, if you catch my drift,” I looked at Tyler pointedly.

That brought on a whole new round of laughter, and even scattered applause from the guys. Mallory caught my eye and grinned. I looked up at Tyler, to see that his face was beginning to redden. Oh, great. I hurt his feelings. There’s nothing more annoying to deal with than an emotionally immature boyfriend.

The bell rang then, signaling the ending of lunch and the beginning of the daily stampede to get to the trash cans in time. I watched the flood of people rushing around in amusement, even more glad to remember that I only had to deal with a few more months of this place. I waited until most of the kids had filtered out before standing up and dumping my trash in the nearest bin. I walked forward until I had almost reached the door, and then stopped to wait for Tyler to catch up. He always got all weirdly hurt whenever we didn’t walk together to classes.

“See ya, Remy,” Seth nodded over at me as he passed by, Tyler just behind him. “You be sure to keep him in line during the trip!” He yelled over his shoulder, laughing again. Maybe there was some kind of warped gene that existed within all teenage guys that made them think they were all up and coming comedians.

I waited until Tyler was just behind me before I walked out of the cafeteria, heading over to my locker that was conveniently located right across from it. Pushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear, I spun the combination to the lock and grabbed my Government text book.

“Why do you have to say that stuff in front of the guys, Remy?” Tyler asked; his eyebrows all pinched together. Jeez. One comment and you think I had ruined his entire life.

“You weren’t exactly being mister classy, either,” I shot back, closing my locker door maybe a little harder than was necessary. “You turn into a complete jerk the second you get around all of those idiots.”

I turned to walk down the hallway, keeping my body angled so he wouldn’t be able to catch an easy grip on my hand. My class wasn’t that far away from my locker, so I didn’t have to deal with his beaten puppy dog look for very long.

Just as I was about to turn into the open door, Tyler caught onto my elbow and pulled me towards him.

“Come on, Remy. You know I was just joking around with them,” He said, his voice dropping down low in the pleading tone he used way too much when he talked to me. “They need someone to keep the laughs coming, you know?”

Yeah, I wanted to say. And what gave you the idea you were the right man for the job?

But I let nearly eight years of childhood games and family barbeques guide my lips to say, “I know,” when the truth was, I really didn’t.

Tyler smiled though, his brown eyes gleaming. He leaned down to kiss me and I let him—pulling away after my willingness led into too much enthusiasm in his part. So I wasn’t much for PDA, and Tyler had some trouble accepting that at times.

“I love you,” He said, looking at me expectantly as I shifted around to walk inside the classroom.

I let my eyes flash up to his for a second before replying, “Yeah. Me, too.”

I tried to ignore the awkward clutching in my gut as I took my seat in class, somehow knowing that my thoughts were burning off of my cheeks. Some part of me knew it probably wasn’t normal to taste acid when you said those words to someone else.



I pulled into my driveway at half past four, my usual time. Mom’s SUV was parked against the curb, so I took my chance to park near the house for once. Dad didn’t usually get home until somewhere around eight, so I had plenty of time to move my car if need be. They were pretty picky about who parked where.

The house smelled like Lysol and smoke; I rolled my eyes a little when I realized that meant Mom had probably burned something again and tried to cover it up with cleaning supplies. I wedged my backpack into its usual corner by the front door, before shrugging off my coat and hanging it on the rack.

I had almost made it all the way up the stairs—seconds away from the safety of my bedroom—when I heard my mom call from downstairs.

“Remy! Something came for you in the mail.”

Oh, joy. Probably another college application for a school I would never get into. I resisted the urge to beat my head against the door before trudging back downstairs. Mom wouldn’t be able to force me into college if I didn’t have any brains left…

“What is it?” I asked, sitting down on the couch across from her place at the loveseat. I tried not to grimace too obviously as she tossed a thick white envelope towards my lap. I caught it in my hand, wincing when I read the return address.

“Really, Mom?” I all but yelled, widening my eyes at her. “Vanderbilt? You can’t be serious.”

Her eyebrows narrowed at me, like they were converging together to completely destroy my life.

“Of course I’m serious,” Her voice came out dark. “I’ll make you fill it out while I watch if that’s what it takes. You’re perfectly smart enough to go to a school like that.”

I wanted to scream at her. Throw something. Anything to make her just stop.

“I don’t even have a four-oh, Mom,” I said dryly. “That’s like, the average grade point average at a school like that.”

She tossed her hands in the air, picking up a magazine, probably Time, from the coffee table and setting it down in her lap.

“Yes, but with all of your extracurricular activities, I’m sure they would consider you! Not many students show as much initiative as you do.”

I rolled my eyes at her, listing them all off in my head. Swim team freshman and sophomore year, Soccer junior year, Debate team, Drama club, Student Council, and the Academic board. Mom definitely liked me to be involved in things. I wonder what Vanderbilt would say if they found out I didn’t actually like doing any of those things—with the exception of Academic board, as it was the one thing providing me with a shred of hope; the chance to escape my family and college applications for two weeks.

“Can I at least eat something while I fill this out?” I asked, setting the application down on the couch cushions.

“Of course! I made a quiche while you were at school, it’s cooling off on the counter,” My mom said, pointing me to the direction of the kitchen, as if I didn’t know where it was.

I walked into the kitchen, wrinkling up my nose when I saw the partially burned quiche sitting by the microwave. Ah, I thought as I grabbed a plate. So that explains the smell.

“Mmm,” I lied right through my mouthful of burned whatever-the-hell it was supposed to be, sitting down to fill out the thousandth application to the thousandth school I had absolutely no intention of attending.

My mom smiled over at me, looking up over the top of her magazine.

“Any school would be lucky to have my daughter,” She said softly, returning to her reading; no doubt something about the hidden agenda of the Democrats or the latest update on Lindsay Lohan’s jail term.

“What time are you leaving tonight?” She said again, turning a page in her magazine. The crinkle noise of the paper made me grit my teeth.

“I told you, Mom. The bus is leaving the school at ten, so I’ll have to leave here by at least nine thirty,” I don’t know how many times I had told her the details of my trip—I had even written the itinerary on the refrigerator door.

“You’ll call me when you get to the hotel?” She asked, looking over at me.

“Yeah, and I’ll have my phone with me the whole time, so you can call me whenever,” I answered, keeping my voice neutral. She nodded her head, looking back down at her article.

The senior Close Up trip was something I had been looking forward to for months; something that kept me going through all of the extra homework, club meetings, and college applications. It was a promise of a couple weeks of escape, of getting away from everything at home, of soaking up the one thing I truly loved about school—History. I had saved up from my summer job and worked my ass off to get the required 3.8 g.p.a, all so I could spend two weeks in Washington D.C with my classmates, and kids from all over the United States, touring all of the monuments and at the conclusion, listening to a speech given by the president.

I had been planning for it ever since my sophomore year; when they had first started advertising it as a national event. Mallory really wanted to come along, so we had worked shitty jobs together over the summers to put down our deposits—and everything was looking up until Tyler figured out I was planning on leaving him for a whole two weeks. I guess his toddler-like separation anxiety kicked in and he couldn’t handle the idea of me being gone for that long. So he had signed himself up and paid out of pocket with his trust fund.

”But babe, I can’t go that long without seeing you,” He had whined, leaning up against my locker and fixing me with his perfected wounded look. Yeah, right. More like he couldn’t go without sex for that long. ”You might meet some other guy and forget all about me,” Was his other argument—and I had to laugh. He obviously didn’t know me at all, then. The insides of my brain definitely didn’t contain Tyler-thought twenty-four hours a day. In fact, it probably didn’t even add up to one.



It felt like my head had just hit the pillow when I woke up to this weird scratching noise coming from the other side of my bedroom. I jumped up, my head full of fog and that grogginess of sleep. What the hell was making that noise?

My feet padded slowly over to the edge of my bed—ears straining to hear the noise again. Maybe it was just a branch or something. That would make the most sense, right?

Just as I was about to scream for my Dad and grab the pepper spray bottle linked to my keychain, a light caught the corner of my eye as I saw that my phone was going off. I reached over to pick it up, growling when I saw who the text was from. Tyler.

Open up your window!

I threw on my robe, fully intending on opening up the window just enough to I could fit my fist through—to punch him in the face. What an asshole.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I hissed out through clenched teeth as I wrenched open the window, throwing the worst of my death glares in his direction.

“I need to talk to you, it’s really important,” Tyler said, already wedging his shoulder through the crack in my window.

I just rolled my eyes and let him through; knowing that if I didn’t at least let him talk for a second it would turn into some huge drama-fest. I really wasn’t up for that.

“What time is it?” I asked, sliding the window shut to get rid of the chill coming in from outside.

“Almost nine,” Tyler answered, sidling up to me and nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. “You smell good.”

Great. Now I was going to miss out on my last few minutes of sleep before I had to get up and drive to the school.

“Ty, not now,” I whispered, pushing him away from me. “My parents are downstairs.”

“But we won’t get to do anything while we’re in D.C. The chaperones are gonna be like vultures,” He said against my hair, his head already pushed back against my throat. “C’mon Remy,”

I put my hands against his chest and pushed gently, getting him to back up again. I kissed him quickly to avoid bruising his ego too badly—but I really wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m just tired, I think I’m getting a headache,” I told him, pushing him back towards the window. “Look, I’ll see in you less than an hour and we’ll be together for two whole weeks, okay?”

“Yeah,” He sighed, brushing a hand over his face. “It’s gonna be awesome!”

Sure, I thought, biting at my lip. If I don’t kill you first…

His face was still kind of pouty but he nodded his head, blowing me a kiss before stepping back out through the window. I sighed and re-closed it, flopping back down onto my bed to catch a last few precious moments of sleep—but it wouldn’t come.

My head filled up with thoughts about the trip—excitement about going, nervousness about navigating the city, but mostly just annoyance at Tyler. I guess it was kind of flattering that he wanted to be around me that often, but at the same time I just wanted to put a force field between us sometimes.

Part of me wondered if I should have put that deposit down after all, images of Tyler following me around like a puppy for the entire trip surfacing, those stupid testosterone levels nearly drowning him. Especially since a few of his stupid friends were coming along now. I mean, he didn’t even like history class, spending most of it passed out on his deck, inches away from a growing puddle of drool. I was pretty sure the only reason he had even joined the Academic Council in the first place was to spend more time with me.

But I pushed those thoughts out of my head—instead focusing on the feelings of excitement and the idea of not having to deal with my mother for half a month. That definitely made leaving seem completely worth it—no matter how horny and retarded my boyfriend might get while we were gone.