Come This December, I'll Be Wasted

I watched nervously as Garrett extended his arm to grab another beer. His hands were shaking from the amount he’d already consumed. I laid a hand on his shoulder softly. Despite how light the touch was, he stopped and turned to face me. I flinched from how bloodshot his eyes were.

“Garrett, no more. You’re going to hurt yourself..” I trailed off uncertainly at the look he was giving me. To be totally honest, I think I felt my heart race at little faster at it. Not that I’d ever actually admit to that out loud.

He shook his head at me, reaching for the bottle again. “She already hurt me enough. Why should I care?” he mumbled almost inaudibly, and I felt my heart twist in my chest painfully. I leaned forward, wrapping him in a hug.

He continued to ramble quietly about his girlfriend. Well, his ex-girlfriend. The whole reason my best friend was now leaning into me, tears falling down his cheeks. I don’t think he was even aware of them.

I tightened my grip around him, playing with the soft strands of his hair to calm him down. It usually worked. But of course, this was a special circumstance. “It’s Christmas Eve, Garrett. You should be happy. At least try to be,” I told him quietly. Instantly I realized that probably wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had.

“That’s why I’m miserable, Syd! Christmas is when you’re supposed to be with your boyfriend, not dumping him!” he snapped, the tears starting to come a little thicker. I could tell he was wasted. He never yelled, not at me anyway.

I hugged him closer, resting my head on his. “Shhh, Garrett. You need to calm down. I know you’re upset, but it’s going to be okay.”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at the wall. Sighing quietly, I ran my hands through his tangled hair, smoothing it out. He was a mess, had been since he’d gotten the call hours ago. I let him keep his quiet, even though I knew he was probably just digging himself into a deeper hole. What I didn’t expect was the words that came out of his mouth next.

“I guess it’s best.. I really only went out with her at first to get my mind off someone else..” he mumbled, although I think it was mostly to himself. I kept silent, hoping I’d get something that I could use to make him feel better. I wouldn’t allow the thoughts of ‘What if it could be me?’ to really penetrate into my mind.

“It didn’t really work at first, seeing as I see her all the time.. But eventually, I just kind of fell for her.. But maybe I was just trying to make me like someone else..” He shrugged a little to himself. Really, I was just amazed he could even get the words out clearly, with how much he had drunk.

I dared to ask a question, hoping it wouldn’t interrupt this sudden flow of information. “Who did you like, Garrett? You can tell me.” Still, I was blocking out the hopeful thoughts trying to break through my mental barrier.

He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, with that same look as earlier. A completely unreadable one to me. “You. I liked you. Fuck, I loved you. I still do. I can’t believe I’m telling you this right now, must be because I’m an idiot. But Sydney, I love you, okay?”

I stared at him in disbelief. Garrett liked.. me? What? “Garrett, I..” I trailed off. I didn’t know what to say. I was just shocked that he actually returned the feelings I kept oh so carefully hidden from him before now.

“You don’t like me,” he said simply, disappointment flooding his voice as he looked down. “Sorry, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. Just ignore what I said. I’m just being stupid. I-” I cut him off mid-ramble with a move that surprised even me. I pressed my lips to his in a short, yet still somehow not awkward kiss.

Now it was Garrett’s turn to stare at me. Even though his eyes were still bloodshot, I could tell he had sobered up quite a bit now. Then a slow grin spread across his face. In a moment, our lips were connected once more, but this time by his doing.

I didn’t know where all this had come from. But I did know something for sure. Garrett Nickelsen was kissing me, was in love with me, and I sure as hell liked it.