And After All you're My Wonderwall
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
Jack's POV:
The day I came out to my parents about my sexuality, is the same day that I wish I hadn't. We were all sitting in the living room eating dinner. I played with the food on my dinner plate as I thought to myself, 'It’s either now or never.' I cleared my throat and all eyes were on me. "I have a confession to make." I announced. I felt my hands become clammy and my heart beat quicken. I was nervous as hell. "What is it boy?" My father smiled at me before taking a sip of his water. "I-I don't know how to say thi-" I was cut off by my mother, "You can tell us anything, Jack." She placed her hand over mine and smiled. I was scared of how they'd react; I stayed quiet for a few seconds, not sure how to tell my parent's that I'm gay. "Jack," My mother said, concern visible in her voice.
"Mom, dad, I'm homosexual." I said, before shutting my eyes tightly. After those words left my mouth, the room became silent; I felt suffocated.
"What did you just say?" My father asked, and I could physically feel the disappointment radiating from him.
"I-I'm homosexual." I replied as I opened my eyes, my father who was sitting across from me was staring at me with an intense glare.
"No son of mine is a fag!" He yelled, and I could already feel the tears forming in my eyes.
"Dad, I-I..." I stuttered not knowing exactly what to say. I turned to look at my mother; she looked at me and shook her head before standing up to leave the room. I watched her as she disappeared from my sight. The tears I've been holding back started falling down the side of my cheeks. I looked up and saw my father standing right in front of me with his arms crossed, with a scowl expression. Before I could say anything I felt his fist collide against my jaw; my head rocked to the side from the impact, I felt a trickle of blood run from the corner of my mouth.
"Why-why?" I said in between sobs.
"Shut up!" He demanded, clenching his fist into the front of my shirt, twisting the material.
"You're a disappointment to the family, and everyone you know!" He yelled.
"Dad, p-please...don't" I begged, my voice filled with fear.
"Just shut up!" He yelled, pushing me hard against the chair I was sitting in and punched me right in my stomach before walking away, with no guilt at all. I watched as my father disappeared from my sight; my eyes sore and wet from all the crying. Clutching my stomach, I spit out the blood that was dripping from my mouth. I slowly shut my eyes before trying to stand myself up, letting out a painful groan.
From that day forward, after every beating I received from my father I was forced to pull up my bruised body to the bathroom to clean my bloody face so no one would know that he would beat me. My mother knew that my father would beat me constantly, but she never said a word about it nor did she ever try to stop him. Since that unforgettable night when I came out about my sexuality, she refuses to look me in the eyes, as if she were disgusted by me. She would ignore me as if my existent didn't exist. It hurt to know that my parents weren't very approving of my sexuality, and disowned me as their son.
My name is Jack by the way, Jack Barakat. I'm sixteen, and I'm gay.
-
I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock beeping from the night stand next to my bed. I opened my eyes sleepily to read the time on the digital clock, it read 6: 45 am. I let out a groan before pressing the off button. I threw the covers off my body, before standing. I let out a long yawn and left my bedroom to take a quick shower. Once I finished my shower and brushed my teeth, I returned to my bedroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had a split lip and a bruise covering my left eye. I frowned as I remember the beating I received from my father last night when he returned home from work reeking of booze. I shook my head, and ran a hand through my wet black hair, with a tint blond streak; I didn’t even bother trying to style it. I walked over towards my dresser, pulling out a gray V-neck, and a pair of black skinny jeans. Putting on my converse, I threw on a Blink-182 hoodie and grabbed my book bag before heading downstairs.
Once downstairs I saw my father passed out on the couch surrounded by beer bottles, and the television on full blast. I sighed to myself before walking over towards him and placing a blanket on top of him, I leaned down to peck him on the forehead. Even know he hates me now, he's my father and I still love him. I turned the television off and walked inside the kitchen to grab an apple before I leave. I glanced towards the living room where it all took place. I wish I could go back in time, then I would of never of made the stupid decision of coming out about my sexuality to my parents. Maybe then they would still love me, and I wouldn't have to take any of these beatings. I shook my head; pushing that painful memory aside. I headed towards the front door and opened it to be greeted by the sun's beaming rays of sunshine, I smiled to myself before walking out the door and making sure to lock it before leaving for my departure; I began taking my usual route to Dawson High School.
I walked inside the school building and began heading towards my locker. Unlocking the code and swinging the door open to grab my text books for today’s classes when suddenly I heard someone yell my name. “Jacko!” I turned around to see my best friend Cassadee jogging towards me. I smiled, waving at her. She returned my smile but it quickly faded once she saw the hideous bruise covering my left eye.
“He beat you again, didn’t he?” She asked. There was a hint of anger and sadness in her voice. I nodded, feeling her thin arms wrapped themselves around my waist.
“Everything is going to be okay Jack, I promise.” I was unsure whether or not I should believe her, but her reassuring smile told me otherwise.
“Thanks Cass. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I said. She chuckled and ruffled my black messy hair affectionately. I came out to Cassadee about my sexuality long before I came out to my parents. To say the less, she was very accepting.
“I don’t care what your orientation is! You’ll always be my best friend no matter what, remember that Jack.” I smiled to myself at the thought of the memory. I was snapped back into reality when I heard the bell ring, signaling it was time to head to class; students slamming their lockers and hurrying towards their classes in a rush.
“I’ll see you at lunch, all right?” I heard her say as I shoved my red notebook inside my bag.
“Okay, I’ll catch up with you later.” I agreed, whilst slamming my locker shut. She smiled with a nod. After we finished saying our goodbyes, I walked down the corridor to head to my first class of the day; AP English.
-
Soon, everyone began spilling out of their classes and made their way into the cafeteria hall. I decided to grab my books for my last classes of the day before meeting up with Cassadee; she's probably already sitting at our usual table by the entrance door. Once I punched in the code for my locker to open, I grabbed my books and shut it closed. I then came face to face with the last person I wanted to see; Mark Anderson. One of the most popular boys at Dawson High School: He's well known for being the captain of the football team, and for having numerous girlfriends; whom he would break up with the following day. He has a reputation as the 'Heartbreaker' or some crap like that.
"Hey Jack." He said with a cocky smile.
I sneered, "What do you want Mark?"
"Oh nothing," He shrugged his shoulders before shoving me against the roll of lockers. "Just thought I'd say hello," He had his hand on my neck; making it harder for me to breath. I heard his friend, not even friend; his follower laughing besides him. The follower hit me directly across my right cheek bone, amused by my pain, he hit me again. I let out a painful cry, as Mark shoved me harder against the metal object over, and over; I could feel a bruise forming. I felt a trail of blood dripping down the corner of my mouth, my cheek stinging from being hit so many times, letting more and more tears fall each time.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" I heard an unfamiliar voice ask; I looked up in the direction the voice came from.
"Just saying hello to a friend of ours," Mark teased.
"Mark...come on man, just leave him alone."
"But this is too much fun." Mark replied bitterly.
"Leave him alone." The other boy warned.
"Way to ruin someone's fun, Gaskarth." Mark said as he let go of his grip around my neck, making me fall flat on the ground. I heard Mark and his follower’s footsteps leaving slowly.
"Hey, are you okay?" The stranger asked worriedly. My vision was clouded with tears, making it hard for me to make out my savior’s face.
"Y-yeah I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I said trying to stand up, but when I got to my knees my strength waned and left me on the ground again.
"Here let me help you." He said as he picked me up bridal style. "T-thank you." I stuttered, feeling my cheeks go red.
"No problem." He replied softly, adding, "I'll take you to the nurse's office." I nodded, feeling sleep starting to take over me.
-
When I woke up I was sore all over, that I almost couldn't open my eyes. After a while of struggling, I was finally able to crack my eyes lids open; I took note of my surroundings. I was in the nurse's office recovering on a small cot. I could still feel the pain right at the bottom of my jaw; it wasn't broken, but sensitive when touched. My eyes felt heavy, as I was about to drift back to sleep when I heard someone ask, "How are you feeling?” I swiftly turned my head to the right, and my eyes connected with the most gorgeous boy I've ever seen. I was at lost for words: He had caramel hair that was styled perfectly on top, his dark round almond eyes, the way his dimples showed when he smiled, his English accent, and oh God, that smile of his is beautiful.
"I-I'm good." I managed to choke out.
He nodded, "My name is Alex by the way." He said with a kind smile.
"I'm Jack." I replied, returning his smile.
"It's nice to meet you Jack." He said as he handed me an ice pack.
"Thanks. And it's nice to meet you too." I said; taking the ice pack from his out stretched hand, blushing as our fingers brushed.
As if right on cue, Mrs. Morris; the school nurse, came inside and walked towards us. She smiled at Alex, and then at me. "How're we doing, love?" She asked me sweetly. "Fine," I said, giving her a small smile.
"That's great, love. Now, your jaw isn't broken so don't you worry." She said whilst examining my jaw, and gently pressed the ice pack against my jaw gently. I nodded. "Okay and thank you." She let out a small chuckle, "Don't thank me, Alex is the one you should be thanking." She said whilst placing a hand on Alex's shoulder; He looked down and smiled shyly."Well, I'll leave you two alone. Oh, and Jack, you can leave whenever you're ready." She said with a sweet smile before leaving the room; closing the door on her way out. A comforting silence filled the room; but the silence was quickly broken when the door swung open to reveal a scared Cassadee.
"Jack!" She cried and ran towards me, kneeling down beside me.
"Are you okay? I heard what Mark did to you, and --- I was so worried about you! Please tell me you're okay?!"
I chuckled softly, "I'm fine Cass, really." I said, giving her a reassuring smile.
"Wait till I get my hands on him!" She exclaimed angrily, bawling up her fist.
I smiled pulling her into a tight embrace; nuzzling my nose in her hair. I felt a pair of eyes on me, looking in the direction where Alex was siting; I mentally scolded myself for forgetting to introduce the pair earlier.
"Hey Cass," I started; she lifted her head from my shoulder to look me in the eyes. "This is Alex," I motioned towards where the caramel hair boy was sitting, "he carried me here." I finished; feeling myself blush at the last part. She smiled brightly as she stood up; now standing in front of Alex. She was always friendly when it came to meeting new people.
"Hi there, I'm Cassadee. It’s a pleasure to meet you Alex." She said as she extended her hand out for Alex to shake; which he happily did. "Thanks for taking care of my best friend."
Alex smiled, "It's nice to meet you too Cassadee," He said before adding, "And it's no problem at all." He said looking right at me; I could've sworn I felt my heart skip a beat.
Cassadee returned his smile with a nod before turning around to face me. "Hey, I'm going to go grab my stuff from my locker," She said; placing a hand on my shoulder, adding, "will you be ready to go by the time I get back?" She asked; squeezing my shoulder gently. “Yeah, I’ll wait for you here.” I replied. She nodded, pressing a small peck onto my cheek. She waved at Alex, thanking him again for bringing me here; smiling at both of us before exiting the room.
“Is she your girlfriend?” Alex asked after Cassadee left.
I shook my head, “No. She’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember.” I said.
“She really cares about you.” He said with a smile.
“She’s the only one who’s ever been there for me.” I replied flatly.
He furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?” He asked, obviously confused.
I regret what I said; deciding that it would be best if I changed the subject now, not wanting having to go into detail about my parent’s disowning me as their son, and my father’s constant beating, oh and that I’m homosexual. Yeah, can’t forget that.
“I should get going.” I muttered under my breath; looking at everything except Alex.
“Oh,” He said quietly, almost a whisper.
I pushed the covers off my body, swinging my legs off the bed and onto the cold tiled floor. I stood up, feeling a pain right on the center of my back; the bruise Mark gave by shoving me hard against the lockers must have been bigger than I thought. I sat on the edge of the cot, pulling my shoes towards me; Alex or Mrs. Morris must have placed them there. I put my shoes on quickly, wanting to leave that room as fast as I can before Alex could question me again about what I had said earlier. I heard Alex clear his throat; I refused to look at him though. He was stood up from where he was sitting previously.
“I’ll um-I’ll see you around yeah?” He asked. “Yeah, s-sure.” I said unsurely. He’s friends with Mark Anderson; which makes him popular. I don’t understand why someone like Alex would actually want to talk to me; it made no sense at all. He opened the door for both us, letting me be the first one to walk out. I looked at him, and saw a smile plastered onto his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said in that soft voice that made my heart beat a million times faster.
‘Does he honestly want to be friends with me?’ I asked myself, feeling a sense of hope. I smiled awkwardly; feeling my stomach twist in a not.
“See yah around, Jack.” He said with a wave before walking down the empty corridor. I watched him as he turned the corner; disappearing from my view. I let out a sigh and leaned against the wall. I shook my head trying to get the image of that damn boy’s smile out of my mind. I felt something poking my side, turning my head to the left there was Cassadee smiling at me, the bright yellow strap from her guitar case hung loosely around her shoulders. "Hey are you ready to go?" She asked, that smile still haven't left her face. I nodded, straightening up from where I was slouched against the wall. She linked her arms with mine and we both began walking towards the exit. When we were both outside we headed down the direction of our homes; considering she lives just two blocks down the road from where I live.
"So tell me about this Alex fella." She said, looking up at me with a goofy grin.
I blushed a bright shade of pink, "What-what do y-you mean?" I stuttered.
"You like him don't you!" She exclaimed happily, nudging me in the elbow.
"I just met him today!" I whined, and she let out a fit of giggles.
"Does Jacky have a crush?" She said in a sing song voice.
"No," I shook my head, "Besides, why would anybody want to be with someone like me?"
She stopped dead in her tracks, her smile turned into a frown. "Who wouldn't like you?" She said, looking directly into my eyes.
I was about to say something but I was cut off by Cassadee. "Jack, you're an amazing person." She said whilst placing her hand on my cheek, adding, "Stop thinking so badly of yourself." She placed her other hand on my cheek and smiled sadly, "Don't listen to what your father tells you. You're who you are, and no one, I mean no one, can ever take that away from you Jack." She finished. I felt my eyes get watery as she said each and every word with compassion and meaning. She pulled out her handkerchief; wiping away the tears sliding down my cheeks. "Y-you have no idea how much t-t-that means to me." I said sniffling. She smiled a genuine smile. "I don’t know what I would do without you." I said with a smile. She returned my smile and replied happily, “I don’t know what I would do without you either.”
-
I laid on my bed listening to New Found Glory, singing along quietly to the lyrics. When I suddenly heard the front door open followed by a loud bang from the door being slammed. "Shit." I muttered under my breath; taking my headphones out of my ears. "Jack!" He yelled; he’s been drinking again. I heard my father's loud footsteps coming closer and closer to my bedroom; and I knew exactly what was going to happen next before it even did. The door swung open, and there stood my father. I could only look at him and try to hide my fear.
He stood underneath the door frame and stared at me intensively, “I’m ashamed to even call you my son.” He spoke, his voice thick with venom. “People like you are sinners; you will all burn in hell.” I felt like I was just hit by a ton of bricks.
“You’re worthless. You’re nothing, and you will never mean anything to anybody.” He slurred. This time he didn’t beat me, instead he put me down by saying how I was pathetic, a disappointment, useless, and that I will never mean anything to anyone. Every word he said, I believed them all. I will never mean anything to anyone, and that I shouldn’t even be alive. Why should I be? There’s no point anymore. My parents hate me; they’ll never love me again and it’s my entire fault.
“You don’t deserve to even be alive.” He said with no emotion at all, and walked out of the room; slamming the door on his way out. I sat there, letting his words sink in. ‘You don’t deserve to even be alive.’ Those words replayed inside my mind over, and over.
I got up from the bed, and down the hall into the bathroom; locking the door. I sat on the bathroom’s cold tiled floor. My eyes were blood shot red from all the crying. I managed to pick myself up, and open the medicine cabinet in search of what I was looking for, and there it was; a razor blade. I picked it up shakily, pressing the sharp metal object deep into my wrist. I closed my eyes tightly and I felt the warm blood running down my wrist. Thin red lines appear on my fingers, and the blood drips into a little pool. I look back down at my wrists and felt the tears starting to swell up. The tears continued to fall, as the blood kept dripping. My hand reached out and grabbed the counter, there I spotted a rag and quickly wrapped it around my wrist; I held it tightly, putting pressure to stop the bleeding. I leaned against the wall and watched as the rag became drenched in blood immediately. “It’s worth it. It eases the pain.” I taught to myself as I slid farther down the wall.
-
Alex's POV:
The next morning when I arrived at school I was determined to talk to Jack. The thing is whenever I would see Jack around school or in the cafeteria hall; the boy always had bruises, marks, and cuts covering most of his face. After yesterday's events, I would have taught Mark was the one who gave Jack those hideous marks, but every day? I can recall him saying something along the lines of Cassadee being the only one who cares? What could that me? I wondered, leaning against my lockers as I scanned the crowded corridor traffic, in search for Jack. Ever since yesterday, I couldn't get that boy out of my mind. There's something that draws me to him and I don't know what why.
"Alex, buddy," Mark slung his arm over my shoulder. "Hey, so the boys and I are-" I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying after that; I was too preoccupied in looking for Jack. I just nodded my head and pretended that I was listening, until something, or more like someone caught my attention; there I spotted the tall, lanky boy. He kept his head hung down low, as if he didn't want anybody to see his face. "Alex!" Mark yelled, snapping his fingers in front of me. "Were you even listening to a word I just said?" I looked at him, and then at Jack; I wanted to talk to him before the bell rang.
"I gotta go, we'll talk later man." I said before jogging towards Jack. I heard Mark yell a, "What the hell?!" he said something else that I couldn't quite hear, but I didn’t care. All I knew was that I needed to talk to Jack. When I finally reached him, I put a hand on his shoulder; causing him to quickly turn around. "Hey there." I said with a smile. He quickly looked the other way, mumbling a "Hey," I was right about him not wanting anyone to see his face, because he refused to make any eye contact with me. "Hey I was thinking if maybe we could hang out after school." I said, waiting for his reply but I got nothing. "Cassadee can come too." I added; but I didn't get a reply. Then something caught my eyes; his left wrist was wrapped in a bandage, and there was dried blood that soaked the bandage. "He cuts?" I wondered to myself, looking up from Jack's wrist to the younger boy's face; he pulled his sleeve down to cover the bandage. I searched his face but before I could say anything, he was gone. I stood there; bewildered.
When the bell finally rang snapping me out of my reverie, I started walking down the corridor to my class as I was walking; I decided that from this day forward I was going to help Jack. Now, I don't know what's bothering him, or what's going on, but I feel like it’s my duty to help him get through whatever it is that he's going through. I don't know him that well, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get Jack to open up, before something terrible happens; There’s this feeling I have that’s telling me that something terrible is going to happen. I don’t know when, nor do I know how, but what I do know is that I have to put a stop to it.
-
Jack's POV:
School ended faster than I anticipated it to; everyone rushed out of the classroom, but I sat at my desk a little longer. I taught back to this morning, I regretted running away like that, but what was I supposed to say? I sighed deeply, standing up from my desk and exiting the room. What if Alex never wants to speak to me again? What if he thinks I'm this physco with a mental illness? I pushed passed the door when I suddenly came face to face with Alex; speak of the devil. "I-I can explain." I said, looking down at the ground. He shook his head, "Not here." He said, taking my hand with his own and leading us outside the school building. All eyes were on us; I saw Mark from the corner of my eye looking at us, and then down at our joined hands; scrunching up his nose in disgust. Alex ignored their stares as we continued walking.
"This is where I come when I need to clear my head." He said, once we finally arrived at the park. Leading me to a park bench; we both sat down comfortably. He gave me a soft smile, "Whenever you're ready." He said, giving me his full attention. I nodded, "You promise me that what I'm about to tell you, you will never tell another living soul?" I asked. "I promised." He replied, placing his hand on my shoulder. I searched his eyes; looking for any traces of evidence that he might be lying, but I found none. I took a deep breath before I spoke, "Back in early April, I came out about my sexuality to my parents." I confessed, expecting Alex to of have gotten up and ran for the get go; but he didn't. "They weren't very accepting." I continued; images from that one faithful night replayed over in my mind. "After I came out about my sexuality, things changed. My mother refuses to speak a single word to me, and my father beats me every night after he arrives home from work." I said before adding, "Cassadee is the only one who cares, and the only one who has ever been there for me since that one night."
I felt Alex wrap his arms around my waist, "I'm so sorry." He said, and I shook my head. "Don't be." I looked at him and smiled; he returned my smile and hugged me tighter. "Whatever you do, please don't ever try to commit suicide." He said, his voice filled with sadness. I was going to say something but I was cut off by Alex. "My older brother, Daniel, he committed suicide a few years ago." He said softly, adding, "And I didn’t do anything to save him." He admitted, placing his hand above my left wrist; holding it gently. "I don't want you to ever think about committing suicide." He looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Promise?" I nodded, lacing our pinkies together, "I promise."
-
Alex's POV:
Jack and I have gotten to know each other better over the past couple of weeks, and as it turns out we both have a lot in common. It’s funny when you become friends with someone who you taught you’d never be friends with, because next thing you know you’re both best friends. I walked down the road just going home from leaving my best friend's Zack's house, I suddenly felt someone pull my shirt, causing me to stumble backwards. I turned around and saw Mark glaring at me.
"Mark?! What the hell?" I asked angrily.
He snarled, "You going to go meet up with that faggot friend of yours?"
"Don't call him that." I warned, taking a step closer towards him.
"Why? Am I offending your boyfriend?" He said in a mocking tone.
"Mark," I started; feeling my blood boiling with anger.
“Admit it Gaskarth, you and your faggy ass—"but before he could even finish his sentence, I tackled him to the ground and raised my fist; my fist colliding with his eye. “You son of a bitch,” He growled. I attempted another punch, but he pushed me off him with such a force, I landed on the ground; back-first. But I didn't let that stop me. I forced myself up, and lunged at him. I threw a punch; my fist hit his nose with force. He snarled in pain, knocking me away. He tried to see through his hazy vision, “You broke my nose you fucker!” Mark shouted as he lay on the ground holding his bloody nose.
"I didn't break your nose at all, though you got a lovely bruise coming up over your eye there.” I said with a smirk. He moaned painfully, standing up too quickly; causing him to fall back on the ground. His hands covered his nose; hands and face smeared in blood. I walked over to where he was balled up on the ground. I hovered over him, looking down at him. “Leave Jack alone,” I said darkly before walking away.
-
Jack’s POV:
I held the razor blade in between my fingers, looking at the metal object and how it shined; mocking me. Things between my family and I haven’t been getting better, but have begun to worsen. My father’s intake of alcohol has become an addiction. He’s out drinking every night; he would come home around 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning. I would hear my father and mother downstairs arguing, and yelling at each other left and right. My father would leave, driving off to go get drunk, whilst my mother kneeled down on the kitchen floor, sobbing into her hands. I remember one night when I was awoken by the sound of a kitchen plate being thrown against the wall. I walked out of my bedroom and down the hallway; sitting down on one of the steps on the wooden stair case.
There I saw my mother, sitting down at the kitchen table; sobbing into her hands. I walked down the stairs, wanting to comfort her. I walked towards her quietly, placing my hand on her shoulder gently, “Mom,” I started. She turned around, and slapped my hand away; I took a step back, and watched as she stood up from her chair, “This is all your fault.” She said her voice thick with venom.
I was about to press the sharp object into my wrist when I suddenly remember the compromise Alex and I had made a few days earlier. "I don't want you to ever think about committing suicide." He looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Promise?" I nodded, lacing our pinkies together. "I promise."
“I’m sorry Alex,” I whispered before I dug the razor deep in my arm and slid it across my wrist in seconds. I watched the crimson liquid slowly drip from my slender wrists and into the water, washing it down the drain. I gasped as I felt the immediate sting as the blood continued to slide down my wrist. Biting down hard on my lip, I knew I was losing too much blood, but I was too damn weak to stop it; I felt dizzy. I pressed my hands against the wall, closed my eyes, my breathing became shaky. Next thing I knew, I was falling to the bathroom floor.
Then it all went black.
-
Cassadee’s POV:
Something wasn't right. I felt a horrible feeling deep inside my gut. I had this feeling when I woke up this morning, like something bad was going to happen. I was deep in taught now, 'What could it be?' I taught to myself, 'I only get this kind of feeling when it comes to---Jack!' My eyes widened. I sat up abruptly, quickly grabbing my phone from off the night stand and called Jack; already having had his number set on speed dial. Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring ~ I began to panic when he didn't answer. I called a couple more times, but each time I tried calling him, he wouldn't pick up; by now I was worried sick. I tried calling him seven times, and sent him five text messages asking him to call me back as soon as he could; were all ignored. I decided to go to Jack's house. I ran downstairs and grabbed my coat out of the closet. "Where are you going sweetie?" I heard my mother ask; who was sitting comfortably on the couch reading a magazine. "I'm going to go see Jack." I replied, putting my coat on and headed towards the door. "I think something's wrong with him." I said, unsure. "Is he okay?" She asked, worriedly. "I don't know." I said, adding, "I have to make sure he's okay." She nodded. Grabbing the door knob and then twisting it open. I walked outside; closing the door behind me. I dug into my pocket, pulling out my cell phone; checking to see if Jack had tried calling me back, or reply to any of my messages, but he didn't.
I started sprinting to his house; the only thing on my mind was Jack. When I finally reached Jack's house, I stopped right in front of his house, out of breathe. There was no time to stop and take a break; I needed to make sure Jack was okay! I yanked at the doorknob, and was surprised when the door simply swung open; I walked slowly into the foyer. His parent's cars weren't parked outside in the driveway, so they must not be home. "Jack?" I called, "Where are you?" No response. I ran up the staircase and into Jack's bedroom. I swung the door open to find the room pitch dark. I put my hand against the wall and search around for the light switch; I feel the small bump in the wall and pressed it; light filling the dark bedroom. I looked around the room, but there was no sight of Jack. I turned on my heels and ran out of the bedroom. "Jack?!" I yelled. 'Where could he be?' I asked myself. I looked down the hall and taught about checking the bathroom. I put my hand on the knob; I could hear the sound of running water. I pulled open the door and slowly walked inside the bathroom. My eyes bulged out of their sockets; I saw something that I wished wasn't real. Jack was lying unconscious on the bathroom floor, blood covering his left arm. I ran over towards him; kneeling down besides. "No, no, no," My fingers rested against the side of Jack's neck searching for a pulse; his flesh was cold. I could feel his pulse beating slowly. I looked around the room; grabbing a rag from the towel rack; tying it around Jack's wrist tightly whilst pressing my fingertips down onto his wrist. After a few minutes, I finally managed to stop the bleeding; I then pulled out my cell phone and quickly dialed 911.
"Hello, this is 911—".
"YES!" I gasped, "You need to send someone down here right now!"
"Miss, please try to remain calm and tell us what's wrong."
"My friend—he-he tried to commit suicide, he's unconscious, and, and, just send someone over here already, damn it!"
"Calm down, miss. Someone is on their way as we speak." I nodded, even though the person on the other line couldn't see it. I ended the call; shoving my phone back inside my coat pocket. I grabbed Jack's hand and held it tightly, "You’re going to make it through this Jack." My voice cracked; tears began to fill my eyes, "I know you can." I said softly, feeling hot tears fall down the side of my face. I cried, laying my head on top of Jack's chest; holding onto his hand tightly.
A few minutes later, I could hear the sound of sirens coming closer, and closer. The ambulance arrived and the paramedics jumped out to take care of Jack. I watched as one of the paramedics slipped an oxygen mask over his mouth whilst saying, "We need to take him to the hospital fast,” immediately, they lifted Jack gently and placed him on the portable stretcher and took him into the ambulance. "Are you coming?" asked one of the paramedics. I nodded, climbing into the back of the ambulance. The other paramedic slammed the back doors before running to the front of the ambulance to take the wheel.
The drive to Maryland General Hospital was the longest ride of my life. I stayed by Jack's side, never once letting go of his limp hand. Staring down at his pale face, I realized that I would give anything, anything at all if Jack would just open his eyes. But his eyes remained closed. Not once did Jack move, he remained still the entire ride to the hospital; the only signs of life were the steady rising and falling of his chest. I sighed and laid my head down on Jack's chest. Moments later, we pulled up to the emergency room doors. They opened the back doors to the ambulance and lifted the stretcher out of the ambulance whilst I followed behind quickly. As we entered the emergency room, there were people everywhere. Immediately doctors came over and surrounded the stretcher that Jack lying on. They wheeled him into a room. Once in the room, doctors and nurses filled the room, and they quickly began working on him, shoving me aside. I stood there in the corner; watching helplessly. "Why don't you have a seat outside?" One of the nurses asked me. I nodded, walking over towards the door, reaching my hand out to grab the door knob. I turned my head looking at Jack one last time before I pushed the door open and stepped outside the room. I walked down the empty corridor, and saw an available seat. I sat down and all I could do was pray that Jack was going to make it through all of this. I couldn't lose my best friend.
I suddenly remembered that I should have called Alex earlier to let him know about Jack's condition. I pulled out my phone and dialed Alex's number, waiting for the older boy to pick up. Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring ~ "Hello?" I heard his voice feebly on the other end of the line "Hey Alex it's me Cassadee, I have some bad news about Jack."
-
Alex's POV:
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket; I pulled it out to check it who it was that was calling. The caller ID read Cassadee's name on it. I pressed talk and held the phone against my ear. "Hello?" I said answering it. "Hey Alex it's me Cassadee, I have some bad news about Jack." She said sadly. Bad news was never just bad news. Bad news was always really bad news. I gulped, "What is it?" I asked nervously. "Jack, he-he, he tried to commit suicide." She said softly. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. 'He tried to kill himself?' I taught to myself, feeling my heart sink. "Which hospital?" I asked. "Maryland General Hospital." She replied. "Okay, I'll see you soon." I said before hanging up. I grabbed my car keys from off the counter, and headed out the front door. I got into my car and started up the engine; driving to the hospital as fast as I could. When I finally reached the hospital I parked my car in the underground parking garage and began walking up to the lobby. I walked up to the front desk, "Excuse me." I said. The woman who worked behind the desk looked up at me with a smile. "Yes how may I help you?" She asked. "I'm here to see Jack Barakat." I said, and she nodded. "He's in room 323." She said sweetly; I thanked her before rushing down the corridor.
Room 323. I finally found Jack's room. I reached my hand out to grab the door knob, twisting it so the door would open. I walked inside the room quietly; I stepped up to Jack's bedside and took his hand. "Jack," I said softly, moving his hair out of his eyes. "I know you probably can't hear me, but I-I know you're going to be okay." I held onto his hand tightly, wishing he would wake up; I couldn't stand to see him like this. I heard the door open to see Cassadee walking inside with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. "I want him to wake up and be reminded that we love him." She said with a soft smile, placing the beautiful bouquet of flowers besides Jack's bed. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, "He's going to be okay Cass." I said, giving her a reassuring smile.
An hour had passed when a group of doctors came inside the room and continued examining Jack, saying it was a miracle for him to have survived after losing so much blood, and that they had never seen anything like this before. All initial assessments seemed to say that he was going to be okay; his heart was beating strong. They eventually left the room to get the additional medications he’d need, and said that he needed rest. Finding out that Jack was going to be okay made me feel a hundred times better. I looked at Jack's face and smiled, because everything is all right, and he’s going to be okay.
-
Jack's POV:
Groaning, I shifted and slowly regained consciousness. When I opened my eyes, I was instantly blinded by the bright fluorescent light above me. I was still a little disoriented. I tried to take in all my surroundings, the white painted walls seemed familiar, and realized I was in the hospital. "Look, he's regaining consciousness all ready," the nurse points to me. "I'll go get the doctor." The other said before rushing out the door. The nurse with blond hair walked towards me and smiled happily, "Your friends will be happy to hear that you're awake." She said. I started to remember about what happened last night; I tried to commit suicide. All I can recall is falling onto the bathroom floor, and it all went black. The other nurse with the red hair returned, with the doctor following behind her. The doctor walked up to the bed I was laying on, "We taught you weren't going to make it," He said, adding, "Your friends were worried about you." I cringed. I was suddenly starting to feel guilty; I didn't think about how my friends would feel if I had died. My parents wouldn't give a shit if I were dead. "Would you like to see your friends?" He asked, as he scribbled something down in his clipboard. I hesitated before replying, "Yeah." The doctor looked up from his clipboard and smiled before leaving the room. I looked to my left and saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers smiling at me. There was a card placed underneath the flowers; I pulled it out carefully, not wanting the bouquet of flowers to fall. I opened the envelope and pulled out the card; opening it. I recognized Cassadee's neat handwriting, and began to read the card to myself.
I'll always be by your side.
Even when the going gets though,
I'll be there standing right by your side
I'll be there to wipe away your falling tears,
I'll hold your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay,
I'll hold you in my arms, singing you your favorite song.
I'll always be by your side.
Even when the going gets though,
I'll be there standing right by your side.
Your smile shines bright like the sun,
it brightens up even my darkest days.
Oh how I'd wish you'd smile more.
Your happiness is my happiness, don't you see?
I'll always be by your side no matter what it may be,
ready to catch you when you're about to fall.
And when the going gets though,
I'll be there, standing right by your side.
Love you, Jack.
-Cassadee
I felt my eyes become watery, as I read the card over and over. How could I even think about committing suicide? I could never Cassadee or Alex behind. I heard the door opened and there stood Cassadee and Alex. They walked towards me and Cassadee immediately wrapped her arms around my neck. "You have no idea how happy I am to see that you're awake." She said happily. I smiled, "Thank you for the card, it was beautiful." I said, and she smiled. I looked over at Alex. He sat at the edge of the bed and intertwined fingers. "You're awake and you're safe, that's all matters." He said with a smile, I blushed at his words. "Hey Jack," I heard Cassadee say, I turned to look at her. "I'm going to go find out when you can leave." She said, and I nodded. She left the room; leaving Alex and I alone.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"For making a promise I couldn't keep."
He pulled me into a tight embrace, I rested my chin on his shoulder; wrapping my arms around his waist.
"I'm so sorry."
"As long as you’re alive, that's all that matters." He said before, adding, "Just don't ever think about trying to take away your life."
I nodded, "I promise, and, and---" I was cut off by Alex, "And I'll be the one that saves you."
-
The doctor said I was doing much better, and that I was lucky to have survived; he also said that I could leave today. I laid down on the bed, Alex lying next to me with his head on my chest watching T.V... "Jack," he started, "have you ever felt like running away?" He asked, lifting his head from my chest to look directly into my eyes. Images filled my mind of my disappointed mother and father. "All the time." I replied, sighing sadly. "Then why haven't you?" He questioned. I stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. I looked down, fiddling with my fingers. "Where will I go?" "You can come live with me," He said moments later. "I could never do that. I wouldn't want to be a burden," I said, shaking my head. He lifted my chin until our eyes met, "Don't say that, He said softly, adding, "You won't be a burden." "A-are you sure?" I asked uncertainly, and he nodded with a smile.
-
I was finally able to leave the hospital, smiling to myself as we left the lobby to be greeted with the sun's beams of sunlight. It felt good to be outside. Cassadee, Alex, and I pulled up inside Alex's car and drove off towards the direction of Cassadee's house. Alex stopped the car right in front on her light green home. She gave me a hug and a small kiss on the cheek before jumping out the van. She waved good bye to both Alex and I as he started up the engine and started driving down the road to my house. Once we got to my house, Alex stopped the car; turning off the engine. "Are you ready?" He asked, I nodded. "Ready." I said as I undid my seat belt and got out the car. I saw my father's car parked outside in the drive way, indicating that he was home.
We walked up to the door, I pulled out the spare key I still had and unlocked the door. I walked inside, with Alex by my side. I saw my father walk out of the kitchen, with a beer bottle in his hand. He looked at me, than at Alex. "Thank you so much for bringing my son back home." He smiled a fake smile, putting up a front. "You can leave now." He said, looking at Alex. "Nah, I think I'm going to hang around for a bit, or are you going to beat me? Alex said sharply. My father snarled angrily, "Who the hell does this guy think he is?!" He said, pushing me to the side and stepping towards Alex. I ran upstairs and pulled out my suit case from under my bed; filling it with as much clothes as I could fit, and utensils that I would need before running back downstairs.
"He's not going anywhere with you." My father spat.
"Yes I am." I said. He turned around abruptly; sending me an evil glare.
"What did you just say?" My father was getting angry; I could tell.
"I said that I'm going to live with Alex, because unlike you, he actually cares about me." I said, pushing past him.
I grabbed Alex's hand and lead us outside, slamming the door on my way out. I looked at Alex, "Let's get out of here." I said, and he smiled. We got back inside his car and I put my suitcase in the backseat. "I want to take you somewhere, somewhere special." He stated, a smile tugging at his lips. "I like surprises." I said. "As do I." He said and peeled out of the drive way and back onto the main road.
-
"We're here!" Alex exclaimed, as he parked the vehicle in the parking lot whilst turning off the engine. I smiled as I opened the door and jumped out. We started walking towards the water when Alex suddenly yelled, "I'll race yah!" Before I could say or do anything Alex was speeding off towards the water. "H-hey! No fair!" I laughed, as I ran after him trying to catch up to his paste. He turned around laughing, sticking out his tongue.
"I win!" He yelled victoriously before diving into the water, peeking his head out of the water and started laughing.
"You only just won this time." I smirked.
"And I'll win the next time too! That's how I roll." He winked, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh. I started splashing Alex with the cold water and he splashed back; we continued playing in the waves, splashing each other whilst laughing at each other. We were having too much fun. I honestly didn't want the day to come to an end. And I must admit, this has been the most fun I had in the longest now. After playing in the water, chasing each other around, and building sand castles together; we were both exhausted. We sat there quietly as we watched the sun begin to set; sitting by the edge of the water.
"Want to go for a walk?" Alex asked, as he stood up from where he was sitting previously. I nodded, standing up as well. The midsummer breeze played with Alex's caramel hair, even when his hair was out of place he still looked gorgeous. He took my hand with his own, looking down at our joined hands, I couldn't stop the blush that was now forming onto my cheeks. Our shoulders touching, we walked hand in hand by the ocean shore together; the waves crashing onto the soft moist sand.
I felt the fading blush quickly find its way back onto my cheeks as Alex's almond colored eyes locked with my own; I was lost in his eyes. Before I could stop myself-I leaned forward, closing my eyes and gently capturing Alex's lips with my own in a sweet kiss, causing Alex to gasp in surprise. Alex soon responded to the kiss, and he slowly closed his eyes. The kiss deepened, my arms found their way around Alex's neck and his were wrapped around my waist. He pulled me closer towards him until there was no space left between us; our chests touching. Alex soon ended the kiss, we both parted grasping for air. We both looked at each other, I lifted a hand to caress his cheek and he smiled; grabbing my other hand and lacing our fingers together.
“I don’t know about you, but that felt so right.” I panted. He chuckled softly, pressing our foreheads together.
"Jack….will you be my boyfriend?" He asked nervously; biting down on his bottom lip.
'Will you be my boyfriend?' Those words replayed in my mind over and over, I blush a deep shade of pink and smiled.
"I would love to be your boyfriend Alex." He returned my smile before capturing my lips with his own in another sweet kiss.
-
The older boy pulled his guitar case towards him and opened it, "I would like to dedicate you this song." He blushed realizing how cheesy he sounded. I smiled at him sweetly before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. When our eyes met, we gazed into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. He smiled at me softly; those deep almond colored eyes. His guitar was propped on his thigh, and he was just strumming tunelessly. Clearing his throat, he looked right at the spot where I was sitting. He pressed his fingers onto the strings of his Gibson guitar and smiled at me fondly; that smile of his is breath taking. He opened his mouth and began to sing softly into the cold Baltimore night.
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
That was wonderful, to say the least. Never have I heard a voice quite like that before. Never have someone sang me such a beautiful song before. He has a voice of an angel; he sounds amazing. The way his voice blends with the melody of the song in perfect harmony.
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
He sang to me gently, making my heart beat quicken.
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
I joined in, smiling when I felt his lips pressed onto mine
"I love you." He whispered against my neck
"I love you too Alexander, always." I whispered back and his lips were on mine again.
-
We lay there next to each other, hand in hand; looking up at the starry sky above us. The moon shined down on us, brighter than ever before. Tonight, was the most beautiful night ever. We enjoyed each others company in silence. A smile played on Alex's lips, and he nuzzled his nose into my shoulder. Our hands still entwined, rubbing each other’s hands with our thumbs. At that moment I decided that my life would get better. I’d get rid of my parents and I’d never have to see them again. Others would never accept our relationship, but no matter what life throws at us, we'll always have each other.
And after all, Alex is my wonderwall.
The day I came out to my parents about my sexuality, is the same day that I wish I hadn't. We were all sitting in the living room eating dinner. I played with the food on my dinner plate as I thought to myself, 'It’s either now or never.' I cleared my throat and all eyes were on me. "I have a confession to make." I announced. I felt my hands become clammy and my heart beat quicken. I was nervous as hell. "What is it boy?" My father smiled at me before taking a sip of his water. "I-I don't know how to say thi-" I was cut off by my mother, "You can tell us anything, Jack." She placed her hand over mine and smiled. I was scared of how they'd react; I stayed quiet for a few seconds, not sure how to tell my parent's that I'm gay. "Jack," My mother said, concern visible in her voice.
"Mom, dad, I'm homosexual." I said, before shutting my eyes tightly. After those words left my mouth, the room became silent; I felt suffocated.
"What did you just say?" My father asked, and I could physically feel the disappointment radiating from him.
"I-I'm homosexual." I replied as I opened my eyes, my father who was sitting across from me was staring at me with an intense glare.
"No son of mine is a fag!" He yelled, and I could already feel the tears forming in my eyes.
"Dad, I-I..." I stuttered not knowing exactly what to say. I turned to look at my mother; she looked at me and shook her head before standing up to leave the room. I watched her as she disappeared from my sight. The tears I've been holding back started falling down the side of my cheeks. I looked up and saw my father standing right in front of me with his arms crossed, with a scowl expression. Before I could say anything I felt his fist collide against my jaw; my head rocked to the side from the impact, I felt a trickle of blood run from the corner of my mouth.
"Why-why?" I said in between sobs.
"Shut up!" He demanded, clenching his fist into the front of my shirt, twisting the material.
"You're a disappointment to the family, and everyone you know!" He yelled.
"Dad, p-please...don't" I begged, my voice filled with fear.
"Just shut up!" He yelled, pushing me hard against the chair I was sitting in and punched me right in my stomach before walking away, with no guilt at all. I watched as my father disappeared from my sight; my eyes sore and wet from all the crying. Clutching my stomach, I spit out the blood that was dripping from my mouth. I slowly shut my eyes before trying to stand myself up, letting out a painful groan.
From that day forward, after every beating I received from my father I was forced to pull up my bruised body to the bathroom to clean my bloody face so no one would know that he would beat me. My mother knew that my father would beat me constantly, but she never said a word about it nor did she ever try to stop him. Since that unforgettable night when I came out about my sexuality, she refuses to look me in the eyes, as if she were disgusted by me. She would ignore me as if my existent didn't exist. It hurt to know that my parents weren't very approving of my sexuality, and disowned me as their son.
My name is Jack by the way, Jack Barakat. I'm sixteen, and I'm gay.
-
I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock beeping from the night stand next to my bed. I opened my eyes sleepily to read the time on the digital clock, it read 6: 45 am. I let out a groan before pressing the off button. I threw the covers off my body, before standing. I let out a long yawn and left my bedroom to take a quick shower. Once I finished my shower and brushed my teeth, I returned to my bedroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had a split lip and a bruise covering my left eye. I frowned as I remember the beating I received from my father last night when he returned home from work reeking of booze. I shook my head, and ran a hand through my wet black hair, with a tint blond streak; I didn’t even bother trying to style it. I walked over towards my dresser, pulling out a gray V-neck, and a pair of black skinny jeans. Putting on my converse, I threw on a Blink-182 hoodie and grabbed my book bag before heading downstairs.
Once downstairs I saw my father passed out on the couch surrounded by beer bottles, and the television on full blast. I sighed to myself before walking over towards him and placing a blanket on top of him, I leaned down to peck him on the forehead. Even know he hates me now, he's my father and I still love him. I turned the television off and walked inside the kitchen to grab an apple before I leave. I glanced towards the living room where it all took place. I wish I could go back in time, then I would of never of made the stupid decision of coming out about my sexuality to my parents. Maybe then they would still love me, and I wouldn't have to take any of these beatings. I shook my head; pushing that painful memory aside. I headed towards the front door and opened it to be greeted by the sun's beaming rays of sunshine, I smiled to myself before walking out the door and making sure to lock it before leaving for my departure; I began taking my usual route to Dawson High School.
I walked inside the school building and began heading towards my locker. Unlocking the code and swinging the door open to grab my text books for today’s classes when suddenly I heard someone yell my name. “Jacko!” I turned around to see my best friend Cassadee jogging towards me. I smiled, waving at her. She returned my smile but it quickly faded once she saw the hideous bruise covering my left eye.
“He beat you again, didn’t he?” She asked. There was a hint of anger and sadness in her voice. I nodded, feeling her thin arms wrapped themselves around my waist.
“Everything is going to be okay Jack, I promise.” I was unsure whether or not I should believe her, but her reassuring smile told me otherwise.
“Thanks Cass. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I said. She chuckled and ruffled my black messy hair affectionately. I came out to Cassadee about my sexuality long before I came out to my parents. To say the less, she was very accepting.
“I don’t care what your orientation is! You’ll always be my best friend no matter what, remember that Jack.” I smiled to myself at the thought of the memory. I was snapped back into reality when I heard the bell ring, signaling it was time to head to class; students slamming their lockers and hurrying towards their classes in a rush.
“I’ll see you at lunch, all right?” I heard her say as I shoved my red notebook inside my bag.
“Okay, I’ll catch up with you later.” I agreed, whilst slamming my locker shut. She smiled with a nod. After we finished saying our goodbyes, I walked down the corridor to head to my first class of the day; AP English.
-
Soon, everyone began spilling out of their classes and made their way into the cafeteria hall. I decided to grab my books for my last classes of the day before meeting up with Cassadee; she's probably already sitting at our usual table by the entrance door. Once I punched in the code for my locker to open, I grabbed my books and shut it closed. I then came face to face with the last person I wanted to see; Mark Anderson. One of the most popular boys at Dawson High School: He's well known for being the captain of the football team, and for having numerous girlfriends; whom he would break up with the following day. He has a reputation as the 'Heartbreaker' or some crap like that.
"Hey Jack." He said with a cocky smile.
I sneered, "What do you want Mark?"
"Oh nothing," He shrugged his shoulders before shoving me against the roll of lockers. "Just thought I'd say hello," He had his hand on my neck; making it harder for me to breath. I heard his friend, not even friend; his follower laughing besides him. The follower hit me directly across my right cheek bone, amused by my pain, he hit me again. I let out a painful cry, as Mark shoved me harder against the metal object over, and over; I could feel a bruise forming. I felt a trail of blood dripping down the corner of my mouth, my cheek stinging from being hit so many times, letting more and more tears fall each time.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" I heard an unfamiliar voice ask; I looked up in the direction the voice came from.
"Just saying hello to a friend of ours," Mark teased.
"Mark...come on man, just leave him alone."
"But this is too much fun." Mark replied bitterly.
"Leave him alone." The other boy warned.
"Way to ruin someone's fun, Gaskarth." Mark said as he let go of his grip around my neck, making me fall flat on the ground. I heard Mark and his follower’s footsteps leaving slowly.
"Hey, are you okay?" The stranger asked worriedly. My vision was clouded with tears, making it hard for me to make out my savior’s face.
"Y-yeah I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I said trying to stand up, but when I got to my knees my strength waned and left me on the ground again.
"Here let me help you." He said as he picked me up bridal style. "T-thank you." I stuttered, feeling my cheeks go red.
"No problem." He replied softly, adding, "I'll take you to the nurse's office." I nodded, feeling sleep starting to take over me.
-
When I woke up I was sore all over, that I almost couldn't open my eyes. After a while of struggling, I was finally able to crack my eyes lids open; I took note of my surroundings. I was in the nurse's office recovering on a small cot. I could still feel the pain right at the bottom of my jaw; it wasn't broken, but sensitive when touched. My eyes felt heavy, as I was about to drift back to sleep when I heard someone ask, "How are you feeling?” I swiftly turned my head to the right, and my eyes connected with the most gorgeous boy I've ever seen. I was at lost for words: He had caramel hair that was styled perfectly on top, his dark round almond eyes, the way his dimples showed when he smiled, his English accent, and oh God, that smile of his is beautiful.
"I-I'm good." I managed to choke out.
He nodded, "My name is Alex by the way." He said with a kind smile.
"I'm Jack." I replied, returning his smile.
"It's nice to meet you Jack." He said as he handed me an ice pack.
"Thanks. And it's nice to meet you too." I said; taking the ice pack from his out stretched hand, blushing as our fingers brushed.
As if right on cue, Mrs. Morris; the school nurse, came inside and walked towards us. She smiled at Alex, and then at me. "How're we doing, love?" She asked me sweetly. "Fine," I said, giving her a small smile.
"That's great, love. Now, your jaw isn't broken so don't you worry." She said whilst examining my jaw, and gently pressed the ice pack against my jaw gently. I nodded. "Okay and thank you." She let out a small chuckle, "Don't thank me, Alex is the one you should be thanking." She said whilst placing a hand on Alex's shoulder; He looked down and smiled shyly."Well, I'll leave you two alone. Oh, and Jack, you can leave whenever you're ready." She said with a sweet smile before leaving the room; closing the door on her way out. A comforting silence filled the room; but the silence was quickly broken when the door swung open to reveal a scared Cassadee.
"Jack!" She cried and ran towards me, kneeling down beside me.
"Are you okay? I heard what Mark did to you, and --- I was so worried about you! Please tell me you're okay?!"
I chuckled softly, "I'm fine Cass, really." I said, giving her a reassuring smile.
"Wait till I get my hands on him!" She exclaimed angrily, bawling up her fist.
I smiled pulling her into a tight embrace; nuzzling my nose in her hair. I felt a pair of eyes on me, looking in the direction where Alex was siting; I mentally scolded myself for forgetting to introduce the pair earlier.
"Hey Cass," I started; she lifted her head from my shoulder to look me in the eyes. "This is Alex," I motioned towards where the caramel hair boy was sitting, "he carried me here." I finished; feeling myself blush at the last part. She smiled brightly as she stood up; now standing in front of Alex. She was always friendly when it came to meeting new people.
"Hi there, I'm Cassadee. It’s a pleasure to meet you Alex." She said as she extended her hand out for Alex to shake; which he happily did. "Thanks for taking care of my best friend."
Alex smiled, "It's nice to meet you too Cassadee," He said before adding, "And it's no problem at all." He said looking right at me; I could've sworn I felt my heart skip a beat.
Cassadee returned his smile with a nod before turning around to face me. "Hey, I'm going to go grab my stuff from my locker," She said; placing a hand on my shoulder, adding, "will you be ready to go by the time I get back?" She asked; squeezing my shoulder gently. “Yeah, I’ll wait for you here.” I replied. She nodded, pressing a small peck onto my cheek. She waved at Alex, thanking him again for bringing me here; smiling at both of us before exiting the room.
“Is she your girlfriend?” Alex asked after Cassadee left.
I shook my head, “No. She’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember.” I said.
“She really cares about you.” He said with a smile.
“She’s the only one who’s ever been there for me.” I replied flatly.
He furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?” He asked, obviously confused.
I regret what I said; deciding that it would be best if I changed the subject now, not wanting having to go into detail about my parent’s disowning me as their son, and my father’s constant beating, oh and that I’m homosexual. Yeah, can’t forget that.
“I should get going.” I muttered under my breath; looking at everything except Alex.
“Oh,” He said quietly, almost a whisper.
I pushed the covers off my body, swinging my legs off the bed and onto the cold tiled floor. I stood up, feeling a pain right on the center of my back; the bruise Mark gave by shoving me hard against the lockers must have been bigger than I thought. I sat on the edge of the cot, pulling my shoes towards me; Alex or Mrs. Morris must have placed them there. I put my shoes on quickly, wanting to leave that room as fast as I can before Alex could question me again about what I had said earlier. I heard Alex clear his throat; I refused to look at him though. He was stood up from where he was sitting previously.
“I’ll um-I’ll see you around yeah?” He asked. “Yeah, s-sure.” I said unsurely. He’s friends with Mark Anderson; which makes him popular. I don’t understand why someone like Alex would actually want to talk to me; it made no sense at all. He opened the door for both us, letting me be the first one to walk out. I looked at him, and saw a smile plastered onto his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said in that soft voice that made my heart beat a million times faster.
‘Does he honestly want to be friends with me?’ I asked myself, feeling a sense of hope. I smiled awkwardly; feeling my stomach twist in a not.
“See yah around, Jack.” He said with a wave before walking down the empty corridor. I watched him as he turned the corner; disappearing from my view. I let out a sigh and leaned against the wall. I shook my head trying to get the image of that damn boy’s smile out of my mind. I felt something poking my side, turning my head to the left there was Cassadee smiling at me, the bright yellow strap from her guitar case hung loosely around her shoulders. "Hey are you ready to go?" She asked, that smile still haven't left her face. I nodded, straightening up from where I was slouched against the wall. She linked her arms with mine and we both began walking towards the exit. When we were both outside we headed down the direction of our homes; considering she lives just two blocks down the road from where I live.
"So tell me about this Alex fella." She said, looking up at me with a goofy grin.
I blushed a bright shade of pink, "What-what do y-you mean?" I stuttered.
"You like him don't you!" She exclaimed happily, nudging me in the elbow.
"I just met him today!" I whined, and she let out a fit of giggles.
"Does Jacky have a crush?" She said in a sing song voice.
"No," I shook my head, "Besides, why would anybody want to be with someone like me?"
She stopped dead in her tracks, her smile turned into a frown. "Who wouldn't like you?" She said, looking directly into my eyes.
I was about to say something but I was cut off by Cassadee. "Jack, you're an amazing person." She said whilst placing her hand on my cheek, adding, "Stop thinking so badly of yourself." She placed her other hand on my cheek and smiled sadly, "Don't listen to what your father tells you. You're who you are, and no one, I mean no one, can ever take that away from you Jack." She finished. I felt my eyes get watery as she said each and every word with compassion and meaning. She pulled out her handkerchief; wiping away the tears sliding down my cheeks. "Y-you have no idea how much t-t-that means to me." I said sniffling. She smiled a genuine smile. "I don’t know what I would do without you." I said with a smile. She returned my smile and replied happily, “I don’t know what I would do without you either.”
-
I laid on my bed listening to New Found Glory, singing along quietly to the lyrics. When I suddenly heard the front door open followed by a loud bang from the door being slammed. "Shit." I muttered under my breath; taking my headphones out of my ears. "Jack!" He yelled; he’s been drinking again. I heard my father's loud footsteps coming closer and closer to my bedroom; and I knew exactly what was going to happen next before it even did. The door swung open, and there stood my father. I could only look at him and try to hide my fear.
He stood underneath the door frame and stared at me intensively, “I’m ashamed to even call you my son.” He spoke, his voice thick with venom. “People like you are sinners; you will all burn in hell.” I felt like I was just hit by a ton of bricks.
“You’re worthless. You’re nothing, and you will never mean anything to anybody.” He slurred. This time he didn’t beat me, instead he put me down by saying how I was pathetic, a disappointment, useless, and that I will never mean anything to anyone. Every word he said, I believed them all. I will never mean anything to anyone, and that I shouldn’t even be alive. Why should I be? There’s no point anymore. My parents hate me; they’ll never love me again and it’s my entire fault.
“You don’t deserve to even be alive.” He said with no emotion at all, and walked out of the room; slamming the door on his way out. I sat there, letting his words sink in. ‘You don’t deserve to even be alive.’ Those words replayed inside my mind over, and over.
I got up from the bed, and down the hall into the bathroom; locking the door. I sat on the bathroom’s cold tiled floor. My eyes were blood shot red from all the crying. I managed to pick myself up, and open the medicine cabinet in search of what I was looking for, and there it was; a razor blade. I picked it up shakily, pressing the sharp metal object deep into my wrist. I closed my eyes tightly and I felt the warm blood running down my wrist. Thin red lines appear on my fingers, and the blood drips into a little pool. I look back down at my wrists and felt the tears starting to swell up. The tears continued to fall, as the blood kept dripping. My hand reached out and grabbed the counter, there I spotted a rag and quickly wrapped it around my wrist; I held it tightly, putting pressure to stop the bleeding. I leaned against the wall and watched as the rag became drenched in blood immediately. “It’s worth it. It eases the pain.” I taught to myself as I slid farther down the wall.
-
Alex's POV:
The next morning when I arrived at school I was determined to talk to Jack. The thing is whenever I would see Jack around school or in the cafeteria hall; the boy always had bruises, marks, and cuts covering most of his face. After yesterday's events, I would have taught Mark was the one who gave Jack those hideous marks, but every day? I can recall him saying something along the lines of Cassadee being the only one who cares? What could that me? I wondered, leaning against my lockers as I scanned the crowded corridor traffic, in search for Jack. Ever since yesterday, I couldn't get that boy out of my mind. There's something that draws me to him and I don't know what why.
"Alex, buddy," Mark slung his arm over my shoulder. "Hey, so the boys and I are-" I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying after that; I was too preoccupied in looking for Jack. I just nodded my head and pretended that I was listening, until something, or more like someone caught my attention; there I spotted the tall, lanky boy. He kept his head hung down low, as if he didn't want anybody to see his face. "Alex!" Mark yelled, snapping his fingers in front of me. "Were you even listening to a word I just said?" I looked at him, and then at Jack; I wanted to talk to him before the bell rang.
"I gotta go, we'll talk later man." I said before jogging towards Jack. I heard Mark yell a, "What the hell?!" he said something else that I couldn't quite hear, but I didn’t care. All I knew was that I needed to talk to Jack. When I finally reached him, I put a hand on his shoulder; causing him to quickly turn around. "Hey there." I said with a smile. He quickly looked the other way, mumbling a "Hey," I was right about him not wanting anyone to see his face, because he refused to make any eye contact with me. "Hey I was thinking if maybe we could hang out after school." I said, waiting for his reply but I got nothing. "Cassadee can come too." I added; but I didn't get a reply. Then something caught my eyes; his left wrist was wrapped in a bandage, and there was dried blood that soaked the bandage. "He cuts?" I wondered to myself, looking up from Jack's wrist to the younger boy's face; he pulled his sleeve down to cover the bandage. I searched his face but before I could say anything, he was gone. I stood there; bewildered.
When the bell finally rang snapping me out of my reverie, I started walking down the corridor to my class as I was walking; I decided that from this day forward I was going to help Jack. Now, I don't know what's bothering him, or what's going on, but I feel like it’s my duty to help him get through whatever it is that he's going through. I don't know him that well, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get Jack to open up, before something terrible happens; There’s this feeling I have that’s telling me that something terrible is going to happen. I don’t know when, nor do I know how, but what I do know is that I have to put a stop to it.
-
Jack's POV:
School ended faster than I anticipated it to; everyone rushed out of the classroom, but I sat at my desk a little longer. I taught back to this morning, I regretted running away like that, but what was I supposed to say? I sighed deeply, standing up from my desk and exiting the room. What if Alex never wants to speak to me again? What if he thinks I'm this physco with a mental illness? I pushed passed the door when I suddenly came face to face with Alex; speak of the devil. "I-I can explain." I said, looking down at the ground. He shook his head, "Not here." He said, taking my hand with his own and leading us outside the school building. All eyes were on us; I saw Mark from the corner of my eye looking at us, and then down at our joined hands; scrunching up his nose in disgust. Alex ignored their stares as we continued walking.
"This is where I come when I need to clear my head." He said, once we finally arrived at the park. Leading me to a park bench; we both sat down comfortably. He gave me a soft smile, "Whenever you're ready." He said, giving me his full attention. I nodded, "You promise me that what I'm about to tell you, you will never tell another living soul?" I asked. "I promised." He replied, placing his hand on my shoulder. I searched his eyes; looking for any traces of evidence that he might be lying, but I found none. I took a deep breath before I spoke, "Back in early April, I came out about my sexuality to my parents." I confessed, expecting Alex to of have gotten up and ran for the get go; but he didn't. "They weren't very accepting." I continued; images from that one faithful night replayed over in my mind. "After I came out about my sexuality, things changed. My mother refuses to speak a single word to me, and my father beats me every night after he arrives home from work." I said before adding, "Cassadee is the only one who cares, and the only one who has ever been there for me since that one night."
I felt Alex wrap his arms around my waist, "I'm so sorry." He said, and I shook my head. "Don't be." I looked at him and smiled; he returned my smile and hugged me tighter. "Whatever you do, please don't ever try to commit suicide." He said, his voice filled with sadness. I was going to say something but I was cut off by Alex. "My older brother, Daniel, he committed suicide a few years ago." He said softly, adding, "And I didn’t do anything to save him." He admitted, placing his hand above my left wrist; holding it gently. "I don't want you to ever think about committing suicide." He looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Promise?" I nodded, lacing our pinkies together, "I promise."
-
Alex's POV:
Jack and I have gotten to know each other better over the past couple of weeks, and as it turns out we both have a lot in common. It’s funny when you become friends with someone who you taught you’d never be friends with, because next thing you know you’re both best friends. I walked down the road just going home from leaving my best friend's Zack's house, I suddenly felt someone pull my shirt, causing me to stumble backwards. I turned around and saw Mark glaring at me.
"Mark?! What the hell?" I asked angrily.
He snarled, "You going to go meet up with that faggot friend of yours?"
"Don't call him that." I warned, taking a step closer towards him.
"Why? Am I offending your boyfriend?" He said in a mocking tone.
"Mark," I started; feeling my blood boiling with anger.
“Admit it Gaskarth, you and your faggy ass—"but before he could even finish his sentence, I tackled him to the ground and raised my fist; my fist colliding with his eye. “You son of a bitch,” He growled. I attempted another punch, but he pushed me off him with such a force, I landed on the ground; back-first. But I didn't let that stop me. I forced myself up, and lunged at him. I threw a punch; my fist hit his nose with force. He snarled in pain, knocking me away. He tried to see through his hazy vision, “You broke my nose you fucker!” Mark shouted as he lay on the ground holding his bloody nose.
"I didn't break your nose at all, though you got a lovely bruise coming up over your eye there.” I said with a smirk. He moaned painfully, standing up too quickly; causing him to fall back on the ground. His hands covered his nose; hands and face smeared in blood. I walked over to where he was balled up on the ground. I hovered over him, looking down at him. “Leave Jack alone,” I said darkly before walking away.
-
Jack’s POV:
I held the razor blade in between my fingers, looking at the metal object and how it shined; mocking me. Things between my family and I haven’t been getting better, but have begun to worsen. My father’s intake of alcohol has become an addiction. He’s out drinking every night; he would come home around 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning. I would hear my father and mother downstairs arguing, and yelling at each other left and right. My father would leave, driving off to go get drunk, whilst my mother kneeled down on the kitchen floor, sobbing into her hands. I remember one night when I was awoken by the sound of a kitchen plate being thrown against the wall. I walked out of my bedroom and down the hallway; sitting down on one of the steps on the wooden stair case.
There I saw my mother, sitting down at the kitchen table; sobbing into her hands. I walked down the stairs, wanting to comfort her. I walked towards her quietly, placing my hand on her shoulder gently, “Mom,” I started. She turned around, and slapped my hand away; I took a step back, and watched as she stood up from her chair, “This is all your fault.” She said her voice thick with venom.
I was about to press the sharp object into my wrist when I suddenly remember the compromise Alex and I had made a few days earlier. "I don't want you to ever think about committing suicide." He looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Promise?" I nodded, lacing our pinkies together. "I promise."
“I’m sorry Alex,” I whispered before I dug the razor deep in my arm and slid it across my wrist in seconds. I watched the crimson liquid slowly drip from my slender wrists and into the water, washing it down the drain. I gasped as I felt the immediate sting as the blood continued to slide down my wrist. Biting down hard on my lip, I knew I was losing too much blood, but I was too damn weak to stop it; I felt dizzy. I pressed my hands against the wall, closed my eyes, my breathing became shaky. Next thing I knew, I was falling to the bathroom floor.
Then it all went black.
-
Cassadee’s POV:
Something wasn't right. I felt a horrible feeling deep inside my gut. I had this feeling when I woke up this morning, like something bad was going to happen. I was deep in taught now, 'What could it be?' I taught to myself, 'I only get this kind of feeling when it comes to---Jack!' My eyes widened. I sat up abruptly, quickly grabbing my phone from off the night stand and called Jack; already having had his number set on speed dial. Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring ~ I began to panic when he didn't answer. I called a couple more times, but each time I tried calling him, he wouldn't pick up; by now I was worried sick. I tried calling him seven times, and sent him five text messages asking him to call me back as soon as he could; were all ignored. I decided to go to Jack's house. I ran downstairs and grabbed my coat out of the closet. "Where are you going sweetie?" I heard my mother ask; who was sitting comfortably on the couch reading a magazine. "I'm going to go see Jack." I replied, putting my coat on and headed towards the door. "I think something's wrong with him." I said, unsure. "Is he okay?" She asked, worriedly. "I don't know." I said, adding, "I have to make sure he's okay." She nodded. Grabbing the door knob and then twisting it open. I walked outside; closing the door behind me. I dug into my pocket, pulling out my cell phone; checking to see if Jack had tried calling me back, or reply to any of my messages, but he didn't.
I started sprinting to his house; the only thing on my mind was Jack. When I finally reached Jack's house, I stopped right in front of his house, out of breathe. There was no time to stop and take a break; I needed to make sure Jack was okay! I yanked at the doorknob, and was surprised when the door simply swung open; I walked slowly into the foyer. His parent's cars weren't parked outside in the driveway, so they must not be home. "Jack?" I called, "Where are you?" No response. I ran up the staircase and into Jack's bedroom. I swung the door open to find the room pitch dark. I put my hand against the wall and search around for the light switch; I feel the small bump in the wall and pressed it; light filling the dark bedroom. I looked around the room, but there was no sight of Jack. I turned on my heels and ran out of the bedroom. "Jack?!" I yelled. 'Where could he be?' I asked myself. I looked down the hall and taught about checking the bathroom. I put my hand on the knob; I could hear the sound of running water. I pulled open the door and slowly walked inside the bathroom. My eyes bulged out of their sockets; I saw something that I wished wasn't real. Jack was lying unconscious on the bathroom floor, blood covering his left arm. I ran over towards him; kneeling down besides. "No, no, no," My fingers rested against the side of Jack's neck searching for a pulse; his flesh was cold. I could feel his pulse beating slowly. I looked around the room; grabbing a rag from the towel rack; tying it around Jack's wrist tightly whilst pressing my fingertips down onto his wrist. After a few minutes, I finally managed to stop the bleeding; I then pulled out my cell phone and quickly dialed 911.
"Hello, this is 911—".
"YES!" I gasped, "You need to send someone down here right now!"
"Miss, please try to remain calm and tell us what's wrong."
"My friend—he-he tried to commit suicide, he's unconscious, and, and, just send someone over here already, damn it!"
"Calm down, miss. Someone is on their way as we speak." I nodded, even though the person on the other line couldn't see it. I ended the call; shoving my phone back inside my coat pocket. I grabbed Jack's hand and held it tightly, "You’re going to make it through this Jack." My voice cracked; tears began to fill my eyes, "I know you can." I said softly, feeling hot tears fall down the side of my face. I cried, laying my head on top of Jack's chest; holding onto his hand tightly.
A few minutes later, I could hear the sound of sirens coming closer, and closer. The ambulance arrived and the paramedics jumped out to take care of Jack. I watched as one of the paramedics slipped an oxygen mask over his mouth whilst saying, "We need to take him to the hospital fast,” immediately, they lifted Jack gently and placed him on the portable stretcher and took him into the ambulance. "Are you coming?" asked one of the paramedics. I nodded, climbing into the back of the ambulance. The other paramedic slammed the back doors before running to the front of the ambulance to take the wheel.
The drive to Maryland General Hospital was the longest ride of my life. I stayed by Jack's side, never once letting go of his limp hand. Staring down at his pale face, I realized that I would give anything, anything at all if Jack would just open his eyes. But his eyes remained closed. Not once did Jack move, he remained still the entire ride to the hospital; the only signs of life were the steady rising and falling of his chest. I sighed and laid my head down on Jack's chest. Moments later, we pulled up to the emergency room doors. They opened the back doors to the ambulance and lifted the stretcher out of the ambulance whilst I followed behind quickly. As we entered the emergency room, there were people everywhere. Immediately doctors came over and surrounded the stretcher that Jack lying on. They wheeled him into a room. Once in the room, doctors and nurses filled the room, and they quickly began working on him, shoving me aside. I stood there in the corner; watching helplessly. "Why don't you have a seat outside?" One of the nurses asked me. I nodded, walking over towards the door, reaching my hand out to grab the door knob. I turned my head looking at Jack one last time before I pushed the door open and stepped outside the room. I walked down the empty corridor, and saw an available seat. I sat down and all I could do was pray that Jack was going to make it through all of this. I couldn't lose my best friend.
I suddenly remembered that I should have called Alex earlier to let him know about Jack's condition. I pulled out my phone and dialed Alex's number, waiting for the older boy to pick up. Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring ~ "Hello?" I heard his voice feebly on the other end of the line "Hey Alex it's me Cassadee, I have some bad news about Jack."
-
Alex's POV:
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket; I pulled it out to check it who it was that was calling. The caller ID read Cassadee's name on it. I pressed talk and held the phone against my ear. "Hello?" I said answering it. "Hey Alex it's me Cassadee, I have some bad news about Jack." She said sadly. Bad news was never just bad news. Bad news was always really bad news. I gulped, "What is it?" I asked nervously. "Jack, he-he, he tried to commit suicide." She said softly. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. 'He tried to kill himself?' I taught to myself, feeling my heart sink. "Which hospital?" I asked. "Maryland General Hospital." She replied. "Okay, I'll see you soon." I said before hanging up. I grabbed my car keys from off the counter, and headed out the front door. I got into my car and started up the engine; driving to the hospital as fast as I could. When I finally reached the hospital I parked my car in the underground parking garage and began walking up to the lobby. I walked up to the front desk, "Excuse me." I said. The woman who worked behind the desk looked up at me with a smile. "Yes how may I help you?" She asked. "I'm here to see Jack Barakat." I said, and she nodded. "He's in room 323." She said sweetly; I thanked her before rushing down the corridor.
Room 323. I finally found Jack's room. I reached my hand out to grab the door knob, twisting it so the door would open. I walked inside the room quietly; I stepped up to Jack's bedside and took his hand. "Jack," I said softly, moving his hair out of his eyes. "I know you probably can't hear me, but I-I know you're going to be okay." I held onto his hand tightly, wishing he would wake up; I couldn't stand to see him like this. I heard the door open to see Cassadee walking inside with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. "I want him to wake up and be reminded that we love him." She said with a soft smile, placing the beautiful bouquet of flowers besides Jack's bed. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, "He's going to be okay Cass." I said, giving her a reassuring smile.
An hour had passed when a group of doctors came inside the room and continued examining Jack, saying it was a miracle for him to have survived after losing so much blood, and that they had never seen anything like this before. All initial assessments seemed to say that he was going to be okay; his heart was beating strong. They eventually left the room to get the additional medications he’d need, and said that he needed rest. Finding out that Jack was going to be okay made me feel a hundred times better. I looked at Jack's face and smiled, because everything is all right, and he’s going to be okay.
-
Jack's POV:
Groaning, I shifted and slowly regained consciousness. When I opened my eyes, I was instantly blinded by the bright fluorescent light above me. I was still a little disoriented. I tried to take in all my surroundings, the white painted walls seemed familiar, and realized I was in the hospital. "Look, he's regaining consciousness all ready," the nurse points to me. "I'll go get the doctor." The other said before rushing out the door. The nurse with blond hair walked towards me and smiled happily, "Your friends will be happy to hear that you're awake." She said. I started to remember about what happened last night; I tried to commit suicide. All I can recall is falling onto the bathroom floor, and it all went black. The other nurse with the red hair returned, with the doctor following behind her. The doctor walked up to the bed I was laying on, "We taught you weren't going to make it," He said, adding, "Your friends were worried about you." I cringed. I was suddenly starting to feel guilty; I didn't think about how my friends would feel if I had died. My parents wouldn't give a shit if I were dead. "Would you like to see your friends?" He asked, as he scribbled something down in his clipboard. I hesitated before replying, "Yeah." The doctor looked up from his clipboard and smiled before leaving the room. I looked to my left and saw a beautiful bouquet of flowers smiling at me. There was a card placed underneath the flowers; I pulled it out carefully, not wanting the bouquet of flowers to fall. I opened the envelope and pulled out the card; opening it. I recognized Cassadee's neat handwriting, and began to read the card to myself.
I'll always be by your side.
Even when the going gets though,
I'll be there standing right by your side
I'll be there to wipe away your falling tears,
I'll hold your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay,
I'll hold you in my arms, singing you your favorite song.
I'll always be by your side.
Even when the going gets though,
I'll be there standing right by your side.
Your smile shines bright like the sun,
it brightens up even my darkest days.
Oh how I'd wish you'd smile more.
Your happiness is my happiness, don't you see?
I'll always be by your side no matter what it may be,
ready to catch you when you're about to fall.
And when the going gets though,
I'll be there, standing right by your side.
Love you, Jack.
-Cassadee
I felt my eyes become watery, as I read the card over and over. How could I even think about committing suicide? I could never Cassadee or Alex behind. I heard the door opened and there stood Cassadee and Alex. They walked towards me and Cassadee immediately wrapped her arms around my neck. "You have no idea how happy I am to see that you're awake." She said happily. I smiled, "Thank you for the card, it was beautiful." I said, and she smiled. I looked over at Alex. He sat at the edge of the bed and intertwined fingers. "You're awake and you're safe, that's all matters." He said with a smile, I blushed at his words. "Hey Jack," I heard Cassadee say, I turned to look at her. "I'm going to go find out when you can leave." She said, and I nodded. She left the room; leaving Alex and I alone.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"For making a promise I couldn't keep."
He pulled me into a tight embrace, I rested my chin on his shoulder; wrapping my arms around his waist.
"I'm so sorry."
"As long as you’re alive, that's all that matters." He said before, adding, "Just don't ever think about trying to take away your life."
I nodded, "I promise, and, and---" I was cut off by Alex, "And I'll be the one that saves you."
-
The doctor said I was doing much better, and that I was lucky to have survived; he also said that I could leave today. I laid down on the bed, Alex lying next to me with his head on my chest watching T.V... "Jack," he started, "have you ever felt like running away?" He asked, lifting his head from my chest to look directly into my eyes. Images filled my mind of my disappointed mother and father. "All the time." I replied, sighing sadly. "Then why haven't you?" He questioned. I stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. I looked down, fiddling with my fingers. "Where will I go?" "You can come live with me," He said moments later. "I could never do that. I wouldn't want to be a burden," I said, shaking my head. He lifted my chin until our eyes met, "Don't say that, He said softly, adding, "You won't be a burden." "A-are you sure?" I asked uncertainly, and he nodded with a smile.
-
I was finally able to leave the hospital, smiling to myself as we left the lobby to be greeted with the sun's beams of sunlight. It felt good to be outside. Cassadee, Alex, and I pulled up inside Alex's car and drove off towards the direction of Cassadee's house. Alex stopped the car right in front on her light green home. She gave me a hug and a small kiss on the cheek before jumping out the van. She waved good bye to both Alex and I as he started up the engine and started driving down the road to my house. Once we got to my house, Alex stopped the car; turning off the engine. "Are you ready?" He asked, I nodded. "Ready." I said as I undid my seat belt and got out the car. I saw my father's car parked outside in the drive way, indicating that he was home.
We walked up to the door, I pulled out the spare key I still had and unlocked the door. I walked inside, with Alex by my side. I saw my father walk out of the kitchen, with a beer bottle in his hand. He looked at me, than at Alex. "Thank you so much for bringing my son back home." He smiled a fake smile, putting up a front. "You can leave now." He said, looking at Alex. "Nah, I think I'm going to hang around for a bit, or are you going to beat me? Alex said sharply. My father snarled angrily, "Who the hell does this guy think he is?!" He said, pushing me to the side and stepping towards Alex. I ran upstairs and pulled out my suit case from under my bed; filling it with as much clothes as I could fit, and utensils that I would need before running back downstairs.
"He's not going anywhere with you." My father spat.
"Yes I am." I said. He turned around abruptly; sending me an evil glare.
"What did you just say?" My father was getting angry; I could tell.
"I said that I'm going to live with Alex, because unlike you, he actually cares about me." I said, pushing past him.
I grabbed Alex's hand and lead us outside, slamming the door on my way out. I looked at Alex, "Let's get out of here." I said, and he smiled. We got back inside his car and I put my suitcase in the backseat. "I want to take you somewhere, somewhere special." He stated, a smile tugging at his lips. "I like surprises." I said. "As do I." He said and peeled out of the drive way and back onto the main road.
-
"We're here!" Alex exclaimed, as he parked the vehicle in the parking lot whilst turning off the engine. I smiled as I opened the door and jumped out. We started walking towards the water when Alex suddenly yelled, "I'll race yah!" Before I could say or do anything Alex was speeding off towards the water. "H-hey! No fair!" I laughed, as I ran after him trying to catch up to his paste. He turned around laughing, sticking out his tongue.
"I win!" He yelled victoriously before diving into the water, peeking his head out of the water and started laughing.
"You only just won this time." I smirked.
"And I'll win the next time too! That's how I roll." He winked, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh. I started splashing Alex with the cold water and he splashed back; we continued playing in the waves, splashing each other whilst laughing at each other. We were having too much fun. I honestly didn't want the day to come to an end. And I must admit, this has been the most fun I had in the longest now. After playing in the water, chasing each other around, and building sand castles together; we were both exhausted. We sat there quietly as we watched the sun begin to set; sitting by the edge of the water.
"Want to go for a walk?" Alex asked, as he stood up from where he was sitting previously. I nodded, standing up as well. The midsummer breeze played with Alex's caramel hair, even when his hair was out of place he still looked gorgeous. He took my hand with his own, looking down at our joined hands, I couldn't stop the blush that was now forming onto my cheeks. Our shoulders touching, we walked hand in hand by the ocean shore together; the waves crashing onto the soft moist sand.
I felt the fading blush quickly find its way back onto my cheeks as Alex's almond colored eyes locked with my own; I was lost in his eyes. Before I could stop myself-I leaned forward, closing my eyes and gently capturing Alex's lips with my own in a sweet kiss, causing Alex to gasp in surprise. Alex soon responded to the kiss, and he slowly closed his eyes. The kiss deepened, my arms found their way around Alex's neck and his were wrapped around my waist. He pulled me closer towards him until there was no space left between us; our chests touching. Alex soon ended the kiss, we both parted grasping for air. We both looked at each other, I lifted a hand to caress his cheek and he smiled; grabbing my other hand and lacing our fingers together.
“I don’t know about you, but that felt so right.” I panted. He chuckled softly, pressing our foreheads together.
"Jack….will you be my boyfriend?" He asked nervously; biting down on his bottom lip.
'Will you be my boyfriend?' Those words replayed in my mind over and over, I blush a deep shade of pink and smiled.
"I would love to be your boyfriend Alex." He returned my smile before capturing my lips with his own in another sweet kiss.
-
The older boy pulled his guitar case towards him and opened it, "I would like to dedicate you this song." He blushed realizing how cheesy he sounded. I smiled at him sweetly before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. When our eyes met, we gazed into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. He smiled at me softly; those deep almond colored eyes. His guitar was propped on his thigh, and he was just strumming tunelessly. Clearing his throat, he looked right at the spot where I was sitting. He pressed his fingers onto the strings of his Gibson guitar and smiled at me fondly; that smile of his is breath taking. He opened his mouth and began to sing softly into the cold Baltimore night.
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
That was wonderful, to say the least. Never have I heard a voice quite like that before. Never have someone sang me such a beautiful song before. He has a voice of an angel; he sounds amazing. The way his voice blends with the melody of the song in perfect harmony.
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
He sang to me gently, making my heart beat quicken.
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
I joined in, smiling when I felt his lips pressed onto mine
"I love you." He whispered against my neck
"I love you too Alexander, always." I whispered back and his lips were on mine again.
-
We lay there next to each other, hand in hand; looking up at the starry sky above us. The moon shined down on us, brighter than ever before. Tonight, was the most beautiful night ever. We enjoyed each others company in silence. A smile played on Alex's lips, and he nuzzled his nose into my shoulder. Our hands still entwined, rubbing each other’s hands with our thumbs. At that moment I decided that my life would get better. I’d get rid of my parents and I’d never have to see them again. Others would never accept our relationship, but no matter what life throws at us, we'll always have each other.
And after all, Alex is my wonderwall.
♠ ♠ ♠
Well there it is folks! :DI know this story may be cliche and lame -___-
but nevertheless, I hope you all enjoyed. <3