Todd
The Hospital
I leaned into my grandma. My dirty blond/brown hair that went over my waist hide my face from the light. I couldn’t breath, I was just holding it now, trying to control the screams that wanted to become a reality in the hearing world. I finally gasped and grew quiet again. Then it happened, a sob escaped my throat making an alien noise that was at a medium tone in the room. After a few moments, the bishop told me that the police had already been at the church and had escorted my parents to the hospital that my brother would now be dying in. At that moment I looked up and noticed that my blacked rimmed glasses had fogged over. I took them off and cleaned them and put them back on. But the tears on my face made the glasses steamer yet.
Me, my Grandma Francis, and as soon as he arrived with the Lincoln town car, Papa Larry, left in a hurry to the hospital to see the mess that had been created. The whole time in the car, I thought about Todd living with despair from having failed in attempting suicide. That he would learn after shooting himself in the heat and a hundred and somewhat stitches later, that suicide is never the answer. I just kept praying to God that he had shot himself there, there in the heart. It had to be this heart. . .oh please let it be! As I prayed in the back of the ominous car, I looked up and saw that snow had started falling ever so lightly to the ground. Was it a sign? Was Todd going to make it? Was my brother going to be around for the rest of my life? How I wished it to be so. How I wanted to hold my brother, even if he did start to swear at me, and know that he was still alive.
We arrived at the hospital. I climbed out of the body sucking back seat and stepped outside in the parking garage. I could still see the snow falling outside around us. This had to be a sign. I waited patiently for my grandparents to exit the vehicle. I knew they would be slow, but would I want to rush to see my almost dead brother? I didn’t even know where he shot himself or how much blood there would be. I would be in for a surprise later.
The glass sliding doors opened as we came near them to enter the Emergency room. As we walked in, (me holding on to my grandma’s arm) I saw my dad talking to a couple of policemen. It was like entering a crime scene that I didn’t want to be apart of. Dad looked at me as I entered and I noticed that his eyes where rimmed in red, the sure sign of crying. I hadn’t seen my dad cry until the month before when my Grandaddy Bob died of cancer. God, I couldn’t believe another death would be coming so early as this.
We turned the corner until I was facing a long white hallway with a nurses station and a waiting room. On the other side was standing Sarah, her mom and sister from next store and Todd’s girlfriend Jessie whom I had only met twice before. I gave a hug first to Sarah who’s face was running with eyeliner. Todd was friends with her and she would come over to hang out with Todd. I loved to intervene and be along side Sarah, for I thought she was the most amazing girl in the world. She was a Rochester Madrigal, a first soprano in the most notable choir in Rochester High School. For so long I wanted to be her and hanging out with her ticked off Todd so it was always fun to be around. Todd had taken her to the prom the year before and I was so amazed to see my own brother clean up so nicely. They were beautiful next to each other. I couldn’t wait till I had my chance to go to prom myself.
I quickly hugged Sarah, letting even more tears drench my already splotchy red face. I had to reach down for a hug because my heels made me so much taller then her. She held me, the tall lengthy awkward girl who was only a sibling to one of her closest friends. We didn’t need to pass word between each other, we just knew. I hugged her sister next and then her mother. She stoked the back of my hair and told me how sorry she was. I still could breath a word to anyone and it seemed that everyone knew that that would be the case for the duration of this tragedy.
Me, my Grandma Francis, and as soon as he arrived with the Lincoln town car, Papa Larry, left in a hurry to the hospital to see the mess that had been created. The whole time in the car, I thought about Todd living with despair from having failed in attempting suicide. That he would learn after shooting himself in the heat and a hundred and somewhat stitches later, that suicide is never the answer. I just kept praying to God that he had shot himself there, there in the heart. It had to be this heart. . .oh please let it be! As I prayed in the back of the ominous car, I looked up and saw that snow had started falling ever so lightly to the ground. Was it a sign? Was Todd going to make it? Was my brother going to be around for the rest of my life? How I wished it to be so. How I wanted to hold my brother, even if he did start to swear at me, and know that he was still alive.
We arrived at the hospital. I climbed out of the body sucking back seat and stepped outside in the parking garage. I could still see the snow falling outside around us. This had to be a sign. I waited patiently for my grandparents to exit the vehicle. I knew they would be slow, but would I want to rush to see my almost dead brother? I didn’t even know where he shot himself or how much blood there would be. I would be in for a surprise later.
The glass sliding doors opened as we came near them to enter the Emergency room. As we walked in, (me holding on to my grandma’s arm) I saw my dad talking to a couple of policemen. It was like entering a crime scene that I didn’t want to be apart of. Dad looked at me as I entered and I noticed that his eyes where rimmed in red, the sure sign of crying. I hadn’t seen my dad cry until the month before when my Grandaddy Bob died of cancer. God, I couldn’t believe another death would be coming so early as this.
We turned the corner until I was facing a long white hallway with a nurses station and a waiting room. On the other side was standing Sarah, her mom and sister from next store and Todd’s girlfriend Jessie whom I had only met twice before. I gave a hug first to Sarah who’s face was running with eyeliner. Todd was friends with her and she would come over to hang out with Todd. I loved to intervene and be along side Sarah, for I thought she was the most amazing girl in the world. She was a Rochester Madrigal, a first soprano in the most notable choir in Rochester High School. For so long I wanted to be her and hanging out with her ticked off Todd so it was always fun to be around. Todd had taken her to the prom the year before and I was so amazed to see my own brother clean up so nicely. They were beautiful next to each other. I couldn’t wait till I had my chance to go to prom myself.
I quickly hugged Sarah, letting even more tears drench my already splotchy red face. I had to reach down for a hug because my heels made me so much taller then her. She held me, the tall lengthy awkward girl who was only a sibling to one of her closest friends. We didn’t need to pass word between each other, we just knew. I hugged her sister next and then her mother. She stoked the back of my hair and told me how sorry she was. I still could breath a word to anyone and it seemed that everyone knew that that would be the case for the duration of this tragedy.