Not Meant.

Jase didn't come home that next day. Grad night is supposed to go til six am, he should have been home promptly around seven. But he didn't. I was up, ready to see him, even sent him multiple messages. I paced our son's room, casually glancing at his sleeping body then back to my phone. My mom's asleep in the guest room, she's only here for the next week or so.

"Kailey." I jumped at the abrupt voice and turned to see my mom, causing my facial expression to fall.

"Yeah?" I sighed, taking a deep breath and checking my phone.

"Come on, you'll wake CJ up." She quietly cooed, slowly closing the door to where it's open a little. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Jase was supposed to be home by now, mom. It's eight." I sniffed, tears pricking my eyes.

"Shh." She wrapped her arms around me, and steadied her breath. "He's probably out doing something with the boys, or buying Casey something cute."

"Yeah." I laughed at my pathetic emotions. We parted and I wiped my eyes. "It's just, since Casey has been born, Jase takes it upon himself to come and go as he pleases."

"What do you mean?" Her tone stern and clearly unhappy.

"Well, he stays the night at Nick's a lot." I frowned. "Says it's because he lives closer to the office, since he's going to be working full time."

"Oh, so that means not even come home at all to your family? I'm glad your father wasn't that way." She scoffed.

"Mom, please." I whined. "I want to be able to tell you things, and you not judge."

"Okay, sorry sweetie. I'm going outside for a cigarette, turn the baby monitor on." She instructed, at which I did and followed her outside.

"I just wish he'd have more consideration." I pouted, taking a seat on the swinging chair while she sat on the cushioned bowl like chair we have outside.

"Maybe he wants to get all his childish behaviors out while Casey is still young?" She suggested. "Not making excuses for him, but if you want me to be more positive then here's what I'm thinking. Casey isn't a reality to him, and every time he sees his son, he's afraid?"

"That could be it. Jase did say he's afraid he'll mess up." I added, and she weakly smiled.

"Then talk to him about it, don't argue though." She advised and I let out a deep breath.

"Thank you mom." I appreciated, standing up.

"No problem sweetie, now go get some rest, okay? If Casey cries, I'll take care of him for you til you wake up." She offered and I smiled widely.

"Thank you, again." I repeated and went inside. My mom sat out there with her cup of coffee and cigarette in hand, her eyes gazing the neighborhood in silence. A blissful moment to say the least.

<3

It wasn't until late that afternoon when Jase decided he was coming home.

"Nice to finally see you." I sighed, holding our son in my arms and breast feeding. I knew soon I would have to wing him off, considering he's a month now and it's starting to really hurt.

"Yeah." He mumbled, then yawned.

"Jase." I whispered, causing him to stop his direction to the bedroom.

"Yes?" He replied, turning to me.

"Why didn't you come home after Grad night?" I calmly ask.

"Because I had to go to work, okay?" He growled.

"Then why couldn't you have answered my texts telling me that?" I felt stupid for being so pissed earlier, but he has a child now, something could have happened and he would not have known simply because he was 'working'.

"I was dealing with clients, and lots of shit. Okay? Sorry I can't be at your beck and call all the time." He hissed, then started up the stairs.

"I wasn't meaning it to be like that!" I yelled, that's when he came running down over to me.

"Oh, really then?! Texting me 'where are you?' then a few minutes later 'Jase reply' and then 'damn it what the fuck is going on?' isn't meaning it like that?!" He screamed. I felt Casey shift uncomfortably in my arms, so I started moving my body up and down to rock him.

"Don't yell in front of CJ." I scolded.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to do." He snarled, then glared at me.

"If you read the whole text, you'd see that I also added in there that I'm becoming worried. Alright? Is it a crime to be worried if my son will have his father or not?" I choked out.

"Oh, don't start with the tears, Kailey. I didn't reply for a few hours, it's not the end of the world." He sarcastically said, then shook his head. "Just don't worry about me, okay? If something happened, you'd get a call."

"I don't want to get a call. I want you to be careful and answer simple text messages." I growled.

"Well, we can't always get what we want. Now can we?" He coldly inquired before resuming to his destination. I sat there in shock, simply baffled that he talked to me like that. Casey felt my emotions because he quit sucking milk out of my breast and started to scream. I tucked my boob back in my bra and stood up, pacing the room with him in my arms and burping him.

"Kailey." My mom entered the room. Tears pricked my eyes, and my lower lip quivered.

"Take him, please. He's feeding off my negative energy." I cried out, passing my son over to her. I stomped up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door open.