Give It to Me.

My eyes focused on Kenny's tightly shut eyelids, my fingers combing through his hair softly across his scalp. I was happy seeing him look so at ease, almost happy to be sleeping silently. I pressed a soft kiss against his forehead and nuzzled my face into his neck, taking in the scent of his generic body wash. He liked generic things most of the time, he wasn't into big brands and spending a lot of money.

I let my mind wander to the blood spattered vows written in Kennedy's sloppy writing on some random piece of paper. My heart tightened, and my throat got dry thinking about how sad it was. Yet the irony made me giggle, Ken always did things last minute, and for once, he had beat me at completing something. I hadn't even started my vows, and yet Kennedy was damn near finished before he almost died.

I smiled, pulling away from him and searching for my phone on my nightstand blindly, I found it and took to twitter. I could see I had a shit ton of replies but neglected them to send a simple tweet--thanking his fans for the support and letting them know he was finally home. I took a second and sent a last tweet--"Home is where the heart is, and mine was stuck in Missouri for a month."

I grabbed a notepad and sauntered passed a cuddling Jared and Tessa, and slipping onto our balcony. It was a dry and yet subtly inviting air that greeted me. I sat on our thrift store steal of porch furniture and set the pen atop the notepad. I let the cool breeze lift my hair off my back and I felt the dry wind coaxing my soft skin to crack.

I thought about the wedding dress shop and the phone call; the flight and baggage issue. All in all I was thoroughly relieved to know I had enough support to up and leave everything I had to be at Kennedy's side when he needed me. We had a great group of family and friends who were more than willing to walk to the ends of the earth for us.

I started a list on the notepad, "Reasons I Love Kenny."

I felt ridiculous, because honestly the list could never end, the list was limitless, but I needed to start somewhere and it felt like the right place. I touched the pen to the paper once more dotting a bullet point, the first bullet point read, "He's my best friend." The floodgates were opened and the ink was all over my page soon after, thoughts upon thoughts about all the reasons I loved Kennedy. I was so lost in thoughts, lost in all the reasons I had come back to Arizona in the first place.

I was thinking about my small quaint apartment in California and I felt warm. I felt happy and complete. I was so thankful to have Kennedy, Jared, Tessa, the boys, the apartment. Everything was weirdly perfect, and I was more in love with Kenny than ever.

I jumped hearing the backdoor open, seeing Kenny's wheelchair and his half-smiling face. I immediately stood up and helped him onto the porch chair, shutting the door behind him. I sat across from him and watched as he let his eyes wander to the view from our balcony.

His eyes focused on me once again and he smiled so softly it made my heart flutter.

"Hi Lovebug," I said quietly, taking his hand in mine.
"Reasons you love me?" He said puzzled.
"I needed to make a list," I flipped the notepad over concealing the text.
"You're not trying to convince yourself to stay with me are you?" He said boldly.
"No!" I said quickly, almost hurt, "I wanted to start my vows."

He looked at me, his eyes softening, "It's real, we're really going to spend the rest of our lives together."
"I'm hoping so. I love you more than the moon and the stars," I smiled at him.
"You're so perfect for me it's sickening," He laughed and pulled me around the table into his lap.