Give It to Me.

I felt the small hand in mine as we watched from the top of the staircase as Jared and Garrett pulled Kenny's wheelchair to the top. I looked down, almost shocked Koda had placed his tiny hand in mine. Almost like he was sad to see his dad have to endure this situation. I squeezed lightly.

Kennedy didn't looked as pained and embarrassed as he had all the other times he had been hauled up the stairs. I bent down pressing a light kiss on the corner of his mouth, I had missed my happy Kenny. Koda climbed into his lap as I wheeled him into the bedroom.

I began unpacking his things, placing them into his empty drawer. Koda began looking around at our bedroom, the pictures on our night stands and dresser. I watched him, and he looked at me with a friendly smile on his face.

"Where can I put my things?" He asked.
"I bought this especially for you," I pointed to a colorful dresser I had bought and assembled before he had arrived.
"I thought this could be your dresser for the clothes you'd like to keep here while you visited us," I ran my hand over his shoulder.
"It looks like a rainbow," He said happily.

I began putting his clothes into the drawers. Setting his shoes into our shoe rack. I could still felt the little twang of sadness looking at his little shoes in between Kennedy and I's. He wasn't our child. He was Kenny's. I felt a rough hand against my neck lightly. I snapped from my thoughts and looked at Kenny.

"Thank you for this," He motioned at the dresser.
"I wanted him to know this is his home too," I said softly.
"You're going to be a perfect mom," He whispered pressing his lips against my cheek.
"I hope," I smiled smally.

I watched as Kenny wheeled into the living room, showing Koda where everything was. Koda was full of curious questions and Kennedy was full of silly answers.

Jared and Tessa were so ecstatic to have him in the house. A little soul with a huge energy. He was excitement and youthfulness, I had truthfully forgotten how mesmerizing a child was. Along with the complete and utter happiness brought to my life by a happy Kennedy. He was no longer hiding in his lies, no longer hiding two large portions of his life. They had become one. And seeing the brightness in his eyes, the smile and light tint of laughter dancing on his lips reminded me that we were in love. We were young and in love. On the same hand it reminded me why I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with this incredible and loving man. He had been beaten into the ground, ran over, and still he wheeled himself to his destination.

I ran my hand across his face softly, letting my hand run through his short hair. I was growing to like Kenny with short hair, his scars were healing, and he was going to start physical therapy. Soon, we could be married. I kissed his cheek softly, astonished by the man who held me tightly, and let my legs dangle onto him. He looked at me and smiled smally, pressing his lips to mine quickly.

"I love you," He said softly.
"I love you more sweetness," I stared into his elated eyes.

I felt his phone vibrate in his front pocket of his flannel. I fished it out reading 'Gabby' on the screen. My heart fell slightly but Kennedy took the phone from my hands gently.

"Son, it's mommy," Kennedy called to Dakoda.

He rushed over and snatched the phone up.
"Hi mommy! I miss you," He said hurriedly.
"I like daddy's house, it has lots of toys!" He continued.

I excused myself into the bathroom, my stomach was churning in jealousy. Partly jealous of Kennedy and partly jealous of Gabby. They were parents, together, and I was just the outsider. I held onto my stomach, I needed to get a grip. I pushed down the toilet seat and sat, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. Suppressing the sadness was going to be a challenge, fighting that nauseous feeling and that huge dry lump in my throat was going to be tough.

I rubbed my eyes and exited the bathroom, Kennedy was waiting for me. Our bedroom door shut tightly and Koda nowhere to be found.

"Hard?" He questioned.

I shook my head, wiping my damp eyes. He reached for me and pulled me into his lap. He kissed behind my ear softly, running his hands to my hips.

"What are you doing?" I squeaked.
"Giving you what you want," He whispered.
"What?"
"Let's try for a baby," He suggested.

I stood up and looked at him, a small smile on my face. I ran my hand across his face and kissed him softly.

"Just because it's hard doesn't mean we have to add more madness into the mix baby," I held his hand.
"I hate seeing that sadness in your eyes," He admitted.
"I'm sorry it even is there, I should be happy for you. Happy you get to have this experience with such an awesome kid," I could feel that lump again.

I was lying. I was trying to make him feel less guilty. But inside I was sad about this, knowing I would never be able to give Kennedy his first child. I seen him relax slightly.

"We can make a baby another time okay?" I said softly.
"Promise?"
"I promise," I said quietly.
"I know how much this meant to you. I'm sorry I took that away from you," He apologized.
"Can't change it, don't be sorry," I pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

We went back into the living room, Tessa was teaching Koda how to mix cupcake batter in the kitchen. He was having a blast. Jared was chuckling from the dining room table.

Kenny and I simply watched a movie, some kids movie Koda had brought along in his backpack. Eventually he climbed in between us and snuggled right in. He was the perfect little addition to our relationship. Kennedy stroked Koda's hair softly, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. They were both so sleepy, their eyes shutting for extended periods of time. Finally both their eyelids stayed closed, small snores emitting their partially open mouths. They truly were twins. I smiled kissing both of their foreheads and snapping a quick picture.

"You're doing so good with this M&M," Jared leaned against me softly.
"I'm trying, I know he needs this from me," I just wanted to kiss Kenny's sleeping face off.
"Your support is everything to him, I know this is a tough pill to swallow but it'll all be worth it," His voice was quiet.

I felt Tessa's soft hands pull me toward her and Jared's bedroom, clearly she was excited to do some much needed planning.

"How you holding up?" She looked at me, a sad but encouraging smile on her face.
"Koda is a sweet boy, and Kenny needs me, so I'm doing the best I can," I shrugged.
"You're awesome Mace, Kennedy is probably so thankful you're making this transition so much easier," Tessa smiled again.
"Thanks Tess," I returned the smile.
"Now about this wedding," She chuckled.

I was so ready to marry the man I loved. I was ready to start a part of my life with him that I had patiently been waiting for. I was even more warmed up to the idea of being an involved stepmom to Koda. A thought I never even thought would sit well with me.