Give It to Me.

I hadn't truly ever felt the real dampness of the nervous sweats before. Nor had I ever felt my hands tremble the way they did clutching a bouquet of freshly cut and assembled wildflowers. My stomach was lacing together and unraveling repeatedly, and the cottonmouth I was suffering through nearly blew my mind.

The Arizona heat hadn't cooled in lieu of Kennedy and I's wedding. It wasn't too much of a stretch to say Tessa had been following me around dabbing the oil and sweat from my expensively made-up face. I was bound tightly in my wedding gown, the corset squeezed tightly around my rapidly expanding ribs. It almost provided a mock security blanket as I felt my Dad's brute arm leading me down the beautifully decorated hallway leading out to the grove where my guests and future husband were waiting.

My dad stopped me about 15 feet from the exiting door, took my body into his arms and hugged me incredibly tight. I squeezed him back, holding down the dry excruciating lump in my throat and feeling my hands slipping against his suit jacket.

"I love you M & M," He was also choked up, "And I'm so incredibly proud of everything you are and have become. You are more amazing than your mother and I ever could've hoped for, pumpkin."
"I love you pop," I kissed his cheek softly.

I could feel the lump creeping up the more I looked at my dad's wrinkled, squinty eyes and huge yet sad smile. We linked arms once more, my dad's hot hand resting over my chilled and clammy hands. I felt the nerves tingling through my feet pressed into my six inch stilettos.

The door pushed open, and the sun stung my eyes and after a few seconds my eyes landed on all the people I loved. All standing, some crying, and smiles as wide as the Nile. My eyes wandered passed John, Pat, Garrett, Jared, and finally landing on Kennedy. He was on crutches, but he was standing tall and proud. My eyes traveled down Kennedy's arm and down to his hand where Koda's small fingers grasped tightly. I counted every step in my head, trying to be confident and slow as to not eat shit in front of easily 100 people.

I started to take in more and more of my surroundings. The light colored dahlia's arranged beautifully everywhere my eyes landed. I was breathless at the slowed version of the band's, "Girl's Do What They Want," playing in the background. Finally, my eyes couldn't contain anymore tears at the sight of Kennedy's crying eyes and huge grin. I could feel the lump in my throat rising as I hugged my dad and reaching for my mom as well. My hands were trembling in Kennedy's, Koda looking up at me, his eyes shining innocently as he wrapped his body around my legs as best he could.

I was floored at how beautiful my bridesmaids were, and even more tickled by how spiffy Ken's groomsmen looked. I felt as though the minister had rambled through the beginning of his speech so fast I was taken away when I heard Kennedy begin his vows.

"Macy Monaco," I heard his semi-raspy voice begin, "where can I even begin? I can vividly remember the first time I felt my 12 year old heart skip a beat over you. That was 14 years ago, and still to this day my heart still thumps that hard against my chest when I look at you. You have been loyal, sweet, kind, and most of all accepting of my life and my choices. Even amongst the darkest times, your love pumped through our relationship stronger and warmer than it ever had. I would not choose anyone goofier, louder, or more mind-blowingly beautiful to spend the rest of my life with than you. I promise to love, cherish, and make fun of you every single day of the rest of our lives together. I will do my absolute best to make you smile and laugh at every opportunity, and I will work my hardest to keep our relationship fresh and exciting. I am honored to be standing here in this very place with you."

I was practically sobbing, one hand in Kenny's and one pressed softly against Koda's back.

"Kenny...," I trailed off, "I love you. I wish I could say that in a hundred different languages. Thank you for accepting me as I am, and whenever I falter for pulling me back up and dusting me off. The best part of me has come from loving you and Dakoda. Thank you for opening your heart and mind to the dumb selfish girl that came back from California hoping and praying you would love her. You're the biggest goofball and yet the most focused musician in the universe. Thank you for bringing me here, now, today."

I could hear the chorus of sniffles here and there, and most distinctly, I could hear my mom softly sobbing in the front row.

"You may kiss the bride," The minister shook me from my thoughts and our lips softly collided.

Dakoda's hand slipped into mine and the three of us retreated down the aisle together. I was married. Kennedy and I were married. I was no longer a Monaco legally. The tears were still free flowing and my feet were aching. We reached the beautifully decorated reception area, tables upon tables decorated with the most beautiful vintage centerpieces caught my eyes. We were led to our wedding party table, and Koda climbed into my lap nuzzling his face into my neck. I held him tightly, and Kennedy looked at us smiling widely.

I was lost amongst the soft kisses, Koda's nervousness, and the hilarious toasts given by John, Tessa, Jared, and a few other people. We ate awesome barbecue and danced for what seemed like hours, even throwing in a couple songs for the boys to get a quick little jam session out for everyone. I was exhausted and this was only day one of being Macy Brock.