Sweet Surrender

Warmth. The gentlest, soothingly comfortable warmth spread slowly through him. It started from his left wrist, carefully fluttering it's way up to his chest where the feeling of contentment intensified. From there it made its way to his belly, soft and fulfilling. He'd never felt anything like it.

From his stomach the pulsing warmth spread, until all parts of himself tingled with life. Inside, he could feel the warmth taking over the cold. That bitter, rotten cold. His veins burned with a new revitalization, the warmth heating up to just below scorching.

An then power. Raw, ravenous power and strength. The strength consumed him, filled his limbs, woke his brain, and sped up his failing heartbeat. Air filled his lungs that he didn't need a machine for, and he sputtered, something plastic and hard was in his mouth and in his throat.

Sitting up, shoving through the curtain of black, Varian coughed and choked, and the figures all clustered around his bed moved at once.
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Dr. Nhik watched in amazement as Varian's complexion returned, his chalky skin slowly shifting back to tanned, clearly visible where the blood was healing. His heartbeat quickened, and then his eyelids fluttered.

And then all trouble broke loose. Varian sputtered, sitting up and coughing, clawing at the tube down his throat. Rushing forward, Dr. Nhik grabbed his hands and yanked them down.

"Varian! Varian! Settle down, you're alright," he tried to say gently. But Varian was clearly reacting on instinct.

Nurse Gale removed the tube gently, allowing Varian to breath easier.

His eyes widened when he saw Dr. Nhik and suddenly his face contorted into rage. "Don't touch me!" he snarled, whipping his hands out of Dr. Nhik's grasp, leaving his fingers sore and throbbing, his palms slightly burning.

"Varian, I'm not-"

"Get away from me! I don't ever want to see your face you lying, twisted, son of a slime pot!" he raged, lashing out at Dr. Nhik.

Dr. Nhik flinched, not being prepared for the sudden onslaught of hurtful insults. "I'm not going to hurt you," he began, reaching for Varian again.

Varian's brown red tinted eyes flashed, a murderous glint shining in their depths. His lips pulled back from his teeth, the needle like fangs clearly bared. "Just because you aren't now doesn't mean you haven't. Now get away from me, and let me go. I'm clearly healthy enough," he said dangerously calm, his voice very even and taught.

Swallowing, Dr. Nhik stepped back and aside as Varian let his long longs drape over the side of the bed as his bare feet touched the cool tile. "Where's my clothes?" he asked, making a point to not look at Dr. Nhik again.

"I'll get them for you," Nurse Gale whispered, fright in her voice. She quickly shuffled out of the room and returned moments later with the bundle of Varian's clothes now clean in her hands. Her face was red and she breathed heavier, but she gave them to Varian who got up and entered the bathroom in his room.

After all this time, he still didn't forgive him.
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The woman Nathan was helping was humming.

Very irritably.

Normally he doubted he would even be bothered by the apparently good mood of the customer, but... Stress makes you do weird things.

Trying not to say anything, he quickly finished ringing up her items, bagging them and motioning for the next customer to come forward.

"Boy, what has been up with you lately? Last couple of days you've been nothing but irritable." Millie commented, stepping over and crossing her arms over her chest.

Frowning, Nathan glanced over to her, shrugging slightly. "School. A lot of work."

Millie raised an eyebrow, glancing over to Venerra. "How come you've been bringing her in lately? Why not Varian?"

"He's a little sick."

"... Really?"

"Can we not talk about this right now? Please?" Nathan mumbled, bringing his hand up to bite his nails. The customer whose items he was ringing up gave him a slightly disgusted look, which he ignored.

"Boy. If you don't tell me what's wrong with you soon I'll be calling Elle. And we all know you don't want that." Millie threatened one last time before stepping away, walking to Venerra and kneeling down to her height.
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After tying his shoes, Varian stood up and glanced at himself in the small mirror in the bathroom connected to his room. He looked healthy. He felt healthy. So good infact, he decided to run back home. Which he did as soon as he signed himself out.

Stretching and exercising again felt wonderful, his muscles loosening and contracting, and very soon he lost himself in the simple rhythm of breathing, not realizing he was home until he slowed to a walk and entered his house. Instantly he searched through it, looking for Venerra and not finding her.

'Good, he took her. I'll have to thank him later," Varian said gently, heading for his room and holding his breath in the expectant manner of smelling that foul stench, but nothing came. Confused, he looked around, tearing apart his bed and searching in his bathroom. Clean. It even smelled clean.

"Who?" he asked, bewildered. But then decided to let it go. Going back out into his room he raided his closet for some non-sweaty clothes. Grabbing his favorite gray striped plaid shirt and black V-neck shirt along with a pair of faded blue jeans and a belt he went back into his bathroom and stripped down until he was unclothed. Glancing around, he caught sight of a part of his back in the mirror. Pausing, he turned a little more and examined the six year old burn scars. They were faded, but visible, and left his back un-smooth and lined.

Clenching his jaw, he looked away, shoving all thoughts of Grant out of his mind. Of all things Grant had been the doctor to care for him. An insult if nothing less. Growling to himself, he stepped into the shower after running the water and warming it up. On the wall was the smashed tile from his fist. His stomach twisted at the thought of ever drinking his blood again, no matter how desperate he became.

Scrubbing and rinsing, he cleaned off quickly and then got out just as fast. Pulling on his clothes, he sprinted down the halls outside to the barn where the horses feed troughs were filled. Somebody had fed them. Shaking his head, he turned to see his truck back in his drive way. It must have been towed. Walking over to it, he got in and started it, his only thought to get back to work as quickly as possible. He needed the money from the birdhouses badly.

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Pulling into Vogel's Tack and Tools parking lot, he cut the engine of his truck and sighed before getting out. Glancing around, he crossed when traffic wasn't that busy, working his way through the cars until he got to the front entrance. Pulling open the door, he casually walked in.
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Barely glancing up from his last customer, Nathan sighed. Work had been a bad choice- he couldn't concentrate on any part of it.

Frowning, he paused. What he had glanced at looked vaguely familiar... No, it wasn't Varian. Couldn't be.

Although... Nhik had mentioned something about sending him in Nathan's direction.

Closing his eyes briefly, Nathan looked back up, and he was speechless. He'd never been speechless before.

There, in the entrance of the shop, stood Varian. Looking as healthy as ever. Varian happened to look up as well, but didn't really seem to look back at Nathan.

"Varian!" Venerra called, but stayed in her place. Frowning, and fairly sure his every thought was going across his face in the form of expressions, Nathan decided something.

Walking around the register, he walked over to Varian quickly, determined not to change his mind. It was an impulsive idea, but he didn't give a shit.

He walked up to Varian, stood on his toes, and kissed him.

Right in the middle of the shop.

Varian stumbled back against the wall, and Nathan just followed, keeping their mouths locked together. After a minute, Varian began to respond, leaning into it and pulling Nathan even closer.

Well, Nathan was glad they were on the same page. But... There was some shit they had to talk about. Maybe they could kiss after the shit...

Waiting a minute before finally pulling back slightly, Nathan glared.

Varian frowned back, meeting Nathan's gaze. "What is it?"

"Do you realize," Nathan began, "The shit I had to go through, in order to make sure you fucking lived?" slightly crude, but it did get his point across.

Varian paused, seeming to think it over. "... I have no idea." he said, sounding slightly breathless and wearing a knowing expression.

Nathan glared a bit more. "I had to give blood! Blood! From my arm! And it was uncomfortable! And then I had to be social! I swear to God if you ever do that again I will slap you across the face!"

Varians eyes watered, tears threatening to spill over before he blinked them back, swallowing. "You have no idea how sorry I am to have put you through so much pain."

Nathan sighed, glancing down to his feet before looking back up to Varian. "Just... Do me a favor and... Don't try that again any time soon."

"I promise you it will never happen again," Varian said with conviction, his voice steady. Nathan nodded, suddenly remembering he wasn't the only one who misses Varian.

"... Good. You might wanna go see Venerra. She missed you."

Varian nodded back, a small smile playing on his lips. And as much as Nathan didn't want to be more than five feet away, Venerra needed to see her brother. That, and he had to get back to work. Before he was fired.

Stepping back, Nathan glanced to Venerra and Millie. "Alright, I um... I gotta get back to work..."

Varian nodded, meeting Nathan's gaze again. "I have an idea about the storage room for you sometime to bring up to Millie. It just might help you win some if her favor." he said with a smile before walking to Venerra, gaining her attention.

Nathan smiled slightly, going back over to the register and apologizing to the few people standing there.

And holy shit if he wasn't a hell of a lot happier.

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After meeting up with Venerra again, Varian felt the dire urge to hold her, knowing she was just as upset as Nathan at the moment. But it wasn't like he could just pick her up and smother her in attention in the store. Anxiously he waited until he could leave. Nathan seemed light hearted, speaking kindly to the customers.

When Varian could take Venerra home he did, the drive back going swiftly. She sat in her car seat, humming gently and swinging her feet. Pulling up into the drive, he put the old truck in park and cut the engine, getting out and walking around to her side. Pulling open the door, Varian leaned in and unbuckled Venerra's seat belt, and she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging tightly.

Chuckling softly, Varian pulled back and straightened his shoulders before shutting the truck door and turning to head into the house. Carefully he walked up the front porch steps, noticing how creaky they were, and how one of them wiggled as he walked on it. Varian made a mental note to add that to his "must fix" list. Venerra could trip and get hurt from falling down the steps.

Turning back gently, he closed the door and headed into the kitchen where he sat Venerra down on her chair. "You hungry?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Venerra said happily, smiling broadly.

Varian laughed softly. "What would you like to eat?"

Venerra tilted her head, her auburn curls draping her face. "Can I have a peanut butter and honey sandwich?"

"Would you like bananas with it?"

"Yes please!" Venerra said excitedly.

Varian chuckled to himself and headed for the cupboards. Opening the nearest one he reached for a jar of creamy peanut butter and also grabbed down a bottle of raw, unfiltered honey. Taking these back to the table, he took a paper plate from off the stack on the counter, and grabbed a smaller banana from the fruit bowl near the dish strainer. A knife was the last object needed and he plucked one from the butter knife section in the silverware drawer.

Taking a seat at his chair, Varian grabbed two slices of bread and smeared some peanut butter on one. Taking the banana into his hand, he pinched the base of it which quickly split, allowing him to peel it easily. Taking the knife he quickly cut some banana circle pieces and placed them one by one on the peanut butter. As a topping he put little ribbons of crisscrossing honey trails, and topped it with the plain slice of bread. Pressing down to keep the contents in place, he passed the sandwich to Venerra who scooped it up and took a massive bite, her mouth watering.

Varian watched her eat in silence, before deciding to rustle through the fridge for something of interest. He sighed, seeing how barren it was. He'd just skip dinner tonight then. Closing the fridge he turned back to see Venerra was almost done with her sandwich.

"That was fast," he said, impressed. Who wouldn't be impressed if a six year old ate a whole sandwich that quickly? Then it hit him. Venerra should be turning seven very soon. Rushing over to the calender on the wall he glanced at the days and checked the date. Venerra's birthday was in two days. He needed to get stuff for a cake, and whatever dinner she wanted.

He looked back at her over his shoulder, and saw her watching him curiously. She yawned openly then, rubbing her eyes and smacking her lips softly.

"I think it's bed time," he said.

Going to her, he scooped her up and walked down the hall towards her bathroom. Setting her bare feet down slowly, he watched her toes stretch for the carpet and he smiled. He remembered his mom doing the same thing with him when he was little. He always loved the feeling of the fuzzy carpet slowly touching his feet.

"Go brush your teeth. Make sure you do a really good job."

"I will..." she said, yawning.

Varian watched her brush her teeth, and she made all kinds of adorable faces. Had his mother thought the same of him? Or did he not do anything right? Was that why his parents didn't love him? Shaking his head sadly, Varian just focused on the now. After almost loosing the now, he had more than enough respect to keep the now, forget the past, and look to the future.

After she washed her face from leftover toothpaste, Venerra turned to him and walked out of the bathroom heading to her room. Varian followed her in and stood by her dresser as she picked out a nightie. It was long and white, and had a small bow, and was almost exactly like those seen in old movies.

Venerra undressed to her underclothes, an undershirt and long-johns. She turned to Varian. 'Can you help me Varian?" she asked, holding out the nightie.

Taking it from her, her rolled it up like a sock and slipped it over her head, pulling it down a little until she could get it. Once it drifted down to her ankles Varian patted her head. "Are you too warm with your underclothes?"

"No," Venerra said.

Varian watched her head towards her bed, but Varian couldn't bear to see her sleep by herself. "Come on," he said, gesturing towards his own room. Venerra's face lit up and she followed him to his room. Slipping into his bed, Varian lifted up the covers for her and she jumped up and snuggled against him, shivering slightly. Varian turned onto his side and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight against his stomach and chest.

"Better?" he asked her.

"Mmhm," she said, snuggling closer. "Varian?"

"Yeah?"

"What did Mommy look like?"

Varian didn't hesitate to answer. "She was tall and thin. And she was very pretty, you have her hair. Only hers went down to her chest instead of her chin like yours."

"And Daddy?"

Varian closed his eyes, picturing his father with his strong jawline and tall wiry farmer's build. His short cropped dark brown hair, like his own, only much shorter. "He looked a lot like me, only he was taller and had much shorter hair."

"Your hair is long," Venerra commented tiredly.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Varian spoke softly, letting his eye lids droop, suddenly exhausted.

"Varian?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled.

"Why did Nathan kiss you?"

Varian's eyes opened and he blinked, staring at the wall across from him. "Because he did," he responded hesitantly.

"Do you kiss a lot?"

"Not particularly no." Why did Venerra have so many questions now?

She sighed, yawning. "Do boys kiss a lot?"

"It depends," Varian said.

"On what?"

"On whether or not they love each other."

"Do you love Nathan?" Venerra asked, looking up at Varian, twisting to meet his gaze, her auburn curls sliding down her cheek to curl near her mouth.

Varian pulled the bit of hair out of the corner of her mouth that clung to her lips. "I have a deep appreciation for him."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm very very very thankful to him."

"Oh," Venerra whispered. "He loves you."

Varian froze at her words. "Does he?" he asked, trying to play off his emotions as calm, but in reality he was anything but. His heart was suddenly pounding within his ribcage.

"Yes," Venerra said confidently. Looking at her eyes, Varian could see the bright gold. She was very confident and hopeful.

"You can feel even that Venerra?" Varian asked, surprised at how sensitive her Soul capabilities were.

"Don't you?" she asked, yawning again.

"The only thing I have to go on is his kiss, and had you not said it, I could have sworn it never happened."

"Do I get a kiss Varian?"

Varian chuckled gently. Leaning down he placed a gentle kiss upon her forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment so she knew he truly cared. "How's that?" he asked, stroking her cheek gently.

Venerra sighed, closed her eyes, and snuggled against him once more. "Good..." she said, barely audible, even to Varian's ears.

"Good," he said to himself, knowing that Venerra was now fast asleep. Closing his eyes, Varian let himself get plunged into darkness once more, only this time the image of Nathan lit up his dark dreams.

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"... You're alone."

Nathan rolled his eyes slightly at his mothers obvious observation, his good mood diminishing slightly since Varian had gone back home with Venerra.

"Yeah. Varian got better." he sighed. Elle was in the living room once again, sitting on the couch with the TV on. "What was dinner?"

"Noodles." she mumbled as Nathan walked into the kitchen, sighing and crossing his arms over his chest. Suddenly seeing Varian with Venerra had made him feel slightly... Inadequate to be taking care of her. Which, granted, he wasn't used to having a child around, but still. Speaking of other people's children...

"... Hey Mom..."

"Yes dear?"

"... What happened to Dad?"

He heard a sigh, letting him know that the conversation would be over quickly. "I've told you before, Nate- He died when you were little."

"I know. How?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"You're gonna have to some time."

"Nathaniel! Do not push me! He died- That's all you need to know."

Remaining silent, Nathan hung his head, going into the doorway of the kitchen and the living room. "Why won't you talk about it?"

"How would you feel if the love of your life died?" Elle asked, barely glancing at him from the TV.

Nathan chose to leave it alone, knowing very well that if Varian had died he would've been an emotional wreck- and he wasn't even sure if he loved the guy. Nodding slightly, he walked toward the stairs, going up to his room and sitting at his desk.

At least tomorrow was Saturday. And he didn't have work.

Which meant he'd be stuck home... Shit...

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"Nathan..."

"... Uh."

"Nathan!"

"Hrmn..."

"Nathaniel! Wake up!"

Groaning loudly, Nathan slowly peeled the covers from his head, giving his mother the best death glare he could manage for still being half-asleep. needless to say, it wasn't his best.

"I want you downstairs in ten minutes! Dressed!" His mother said, closing the door behind her and going back down the stairs. Sighing, Nathan sat up, stretching and yawning before scratching his head. Rolling out his bed, almost literally, he grabbed a pair of jeans, pulling them up before deciding against getting a new shirt, instead choosing to walk out of his bedroom and down to the living room.

He paused as he heard Elle and Eric talking- nearly yelling- and frowned, leaning against the wall to hear.

"He's going to keep asking, Elle. You'll have to tell him sometime."

"And what exactly will I tell him? He doesn't need to know any of it- he's been fine so far, hasn't he?"

"I'm telling you- That little girl wasn't normal. I won't doubt if he asks you again today about it."

"I'm not going to tell him. He doesn't need to know about her."

.... Her? Who was her? He'd only ever asked about his father... Deciding to make himself known, he casually walked around the corner, heading for the kitchen as Elle and Eric's conversation abruptly came to a stop.

"What's for breakfast?" Nathan asked curiously, looking through some cabinets.

"Em... cereal, if you want. Eric and I are going to the store for a bit. Stay home, and don't answer the door or phone." Elle responded. Nathan raised an eyebrow, nodding as he heard them shuffle to the door.

Oh, he'd certainly be bringing up that conversation later.

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Varian woke up by himself to find Venerra sprawled all over him, her cheek resting on his chest, her right arm draped across his stomach. Her auburn curls lay piled against his shirt and he smiled. The last time he'd had her sleep next to him was when he knew he'd probably not get the chance to again. Thinking on it, he swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. He had so much to be thankful to Nathan for. And that kiss.

Remembering the jolt that passed through him as their lips locked had him reaching up to touch his lips, in memory of the wonderful sensation. He hadn't kissed anyone in almost seven years, and now that he had, he had to admit it had felt good. And the best part was Nathan had initiated it. So he'd wanted it too.

Sighing softly, Varian carefully slipped out from under Venerra and tucked the blanket around her. She took a deep breath and stretched before going back to a fetal position. Varian smiled shakily. He loved her so much it hurt sometimes, but the worst part was she was growing up. He wouldn't be her one and only for much longer. Was this how all parents felt? But he wasn't a parent, he was her brother.

Shaking his head he turned from his bed and walked to his closet where he grabbed an old torn plaid button up shirt that was too big for him. It had belonged to his father, and Varian remembered wearing it for pajamas when he was younger. It was the perfect work shirt. Tossing it on his dresser, he went looking for a shirt to wear under it.

He could wear a black shirt, but that was a little redundant. Black was part of his usual attire. What about white? Very rarely did he wear white. Snatching an old V-neck white shirt he rummaged around for a pair of pants. A ratty old pair of work jeans would have to work, they were darker than his usual color variation, but they'd have to do.

Stepping into his bathroom, he dressed out of his pajamas consisting of an old paint-splattered shirt and light blue striped pajama bottoms. The stripes ran down his legs, making him appear taller. Not that he wasn't tall enough.

Once again he caught a glance of his back in the mirror. Twisting he examined the faded burn scars further. Often times he'd find himself mesmerized by the intricate swirls and ripples left by the fire Grant had set upon his back. But looking at them reminded him all the more why he hated him.

Looking away he pulled on the white shirt, and it clung to his body, defining all the planes and curves that go with a male body. Normally his shirts were worn a little loose, but he didn't mind a change.

After slipping into the old pair of jeans he had to smile at how they fit him too. They hugged his hips, with their boyish slimness, and defined the shape of his legs which weren't noodly but strong. His favorite silver belt, also a gift from his father was the next addition. The buckle had engraved designs from Western culture, and he had to admit he did feel like a cowboy when he wore it. The red plaid lumberjack shirt was the last layer, and he left it unbuttoned like all his other button up shirts.

Black work boots were next, they were thick soled and coated in mud and various other farm materials. Now set, he headed into the kitchen where he looked around for food.

Nothing big enough for him to eat. Ignoring the growling of his stomach, he went to walk outside when his phone rang. Frowning, he picked it.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Is this Varian?" came a woman's voice on the other line.

"Yes, who is this?"

"Helen," she answered.

"Oh! Helen, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, do you need anything?"

"I've got another job for you if you're up for some quick cash."

Varian chuckled. "I'm always up for quick cash. What's the job?"

"Well my niece moved up here this last summer and attends your school, and she's been helping me around the farm. She bought a horse from another farm, and he's a handful. We were wondering if you'd be willing to board him for a while and break him in to ride."

"Is he a stallion?"

She laughed. "I love how you consider his status rather than how much I'm willing to pay. Yes, he's a stallion."

Varian smiled. He hadn't worked with a stallion for a long time. "I'll take him."

"I'll give you six hundred when you get here, and another thousand when you bring him back."

"That's one thousand six hundred dollars Helen!" Varian sputtered. "I'd be happy with a hundred."

"Now now, you're work is good. The best gentling around these parts. I'd settle for nothing less, now get your butt over here and bring your trailer."

"Yes ma'am."

Helen hung up on the other line and Varian went into his room to wake up Venerra. Shaking her gently she opened her eyes and yawned. "Varian?"

"It's okay Venerra. I'm going to do a quick run to Helen's to pick up a stallion that needs to be gentled and broken. I'll be right back, you stay in the house okay?"

"Okay," she said, rubbing her eyes. They were still the milky white that a Mortal usually has, but Venerra's never stayed normal for long. She was too full of emotion to have the milky white. Right now they were swirling into a vibrant blue.

"I'll be back," he said again.

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Pulling up into Helen's driveway, Varian barely got out of his truck before she came out of her house and greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks," he said genuinely, pulling away.

"Now," she said, pulling out her wallet and handing him a stack of bills. "Don't you dare look at them until your home and he's settled."

"Yes ma'am," Varian said, chuckling.

"My niece Jecklynn is going to bring him around for you if you want to get the trailer ready."

"Your niece is Jecklynn?" Varian asked, surprised.

"Yes, you know her?" Helen replied.

"She's in my Marine Biology class. And we sit together at lunch."

"Wonderful!" Helen exclaimed. "How do you like her?"

"She's quiet, but very smart. She's a good friend."

"I see. Here you go Mr. Joll,"she said, handing him a rolled up white paper bag.

Varian could smell the wonderful scent of sausage, egg, cheese, and English muffin. As well as the sweet savory smell of a homemade strawberry turnover with cream cheese and powdered sugar frosting drizzled all over it.

"You didn't have-" he began.

"Shut it." Helen said playfully. "Many a time you've come over here with narry anything in your stomach. I presume today is no exception."

Varian laughed. "You presume correctly."

"And before you think about sharing it with your sister, I have a separate bag for the sweetheart."

She handed him a smaller, Venerra sized bag and Varian quickly stashed both bags in the truck.

Movement from the barn caught Varian's attention and he turned to see Jecklynn walk out with a beautiful dappled gray stallion. He held his head high and had defiant brown eyes, his mane long and spilling over the left side of his neck, the forelock running down his striped snout. His tail was long and a lovely mixture of grays, whites and some black, as was his mane.

His legs had charcoal colored stockings that reached well above his knees and hocks, and his hooves were a rich black. One glance was enough for Varian to tell he was a magnificent creature with plenty of attitude. His form was perfect, and Varian now understood why Helen was paying so much. He was a stud horse.

Varian smiled at Jecklynn who was very surprised to see him. He could tell she was itching to hug him, so he took the stallion from her and quickly loaded him into the trailer. He knew exactly what to do with one.

As soon as he turned around she threw herself at him and hugged him tightly. Varian hugged her back, surprised at how clingy she was outside of school.

"You're better!"she said pulling away and looking him over.

Varian smiled. "Nathan helped me a lot," he said, knowing his voice carried his emotions of caring strongly.

Jecklynn's smile faltered a little, but she still looked genuinely happy.

"What's the stallion's name?" Varian asked, trying to break the tension.

Jecklynn turned to the trailer. "His name's Hurricane Rain, but we call him Cane."

"What a name," Varian commented.

"His father was called Hurricane Bill, and his mother Rainfall. Hence Hurricane Rain."

"So he's a pedigree. Do you have his papers?"

"Right here," Jecklynn said handing him a manila envelope. Varian tucked it into his shirt and thanked her.

"As much as I'd like to stay I've got to get home to my sister."

"Head on home then," Helen called from her porch.

Varian nodded and Jecklynn hugged him goodbye again before he got in his truck and carefully back out of Helen's driveway and headed up the road with Cane in tow. Once he pulled into his driveway, he cut the engine and got out to let Cane out. Cane stepped down from the ramp gracefully and looked around before heading right for the pasture gate and stood there patiently.

"At least he knows what he wants," Varian laughed softly before letting him into the miniature pasture where he walked in and then checked the perimeters.

Venerra came out of the house. "He's pretty! What his name?"Venerra asked.

"Hurricane Rain, but we'll just call him Cane. There's something for you in the truck from Helen." Varian said, opening the door for her. She climbed inside and came out with the smaller bag.

"For me?"she asked gesturing to the whole bag.

"You can eat it on the porch if you'd like while I get to work." Varian suggested.

Venerra skipped to the porch bench and plopped on it as she opened her bag and devoured her own pastry first. Varian smiled before heading into the barn to let the other horses out to the big pasture. He'd have to groom them. Actually, he had a lot more to do than that. A trip out to the fields would be necessary to restore any damage. He sighed. Missing a couple days on the farm was disastrous.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nathan had gotten bored by about half an hour of sitting at home. It was a Saturday- why couldn't Elle just let him sleep in? It was ridiculous to be up so early.

Well... Looking at the clock, it was eleven... But still. For a Saturday, it was early. He was half tempted to actually go and do something. He didn't think they took both cars.Glancing out the window, he could see he was right, and thought about it briefly before running up stairs to grab his shoes, pulling them on and grabbing the car keys from the hook on the way out.

Where was he going to go? Didn't have work. No doubt Andrea was still mad at him, so seeing the twins wasn't going to work.

Well.... there was always Varian... but he'd probably be spending time with Venerra and the horses... fuck it. He'd go see Varian.

The drive was seemed a bit longer than usual. As he pulled up to the farm, he noticed Venerra sitting on the porch, making him frown slightly as he pulled in and turned off the car. Varian seemed to choose that time to walk out of the barn with a brush, Cana following him as he laughed. Getting out of the car, Nathan sighed. "Yeah, um... sorry... I got bored..."

Varian pulled some stray hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear before casually rubbing the back of his neck. "You caught me working. If you don't mind watching me do farm chores, you're more than welcome to hang around," he said with a grin.

Nathan nodded slightly. "I'm alright with that, I guess."

Varian sighed, dropping his hand to cross his arms over his chest. "Just get over here already. We have unfinished business." he said firmly, but playfully, and with a smirk. This made Nathan slightly cautious.

What business? He didn't remember any business. Frowning slightly, but walking closer nonetheless, he attempted not to let too much confusion show. "... We do?"

"Yeah, now shut up and let me kiss you. You caught me off guard the first time." he said, gently grabbing Nathan's arm in order to pull him closer, bending down to kiss him fully.

Well. If this was what he considered unfinished business, Nathan was very okay with that.

After kissing back for a minute, Nathan pulled away. "I thought you had chores..." he mumbled. While he didn't really want to stop kissing (ever, if he could help it) there was probably a lot of work to do. Nathan could only do so much in his brief times here.

"I have more chores than I have you, so they can wait." he replied, pulling Nathan back to kiss him softly one more time before letting go completely. "Besides, you aren't going to get off the hook that easily. Now that you're here, you get chores too."

.... Well fuck. Part of him had actually expected that.

Nathan glared slightly though, sighing. "I hate you." he mumbled, though he was sure Varian didn't believe it anymore than he did. Varian laughed at it, handing him the brush he had brought out of the barn with him.

"First off, we brush down the horses and wash them."

Nathan stared at it for a minute before looking back up. "... Yeah, I don't work on a farm, so... how the hell do I do that?"

"We'll start with Cana, I'll show you." Varian said, taking Nathan's hand and leading him tot he giant horse, which Nathan still wasn't too sure about. Though it went more with horses in general.

Cana whinnied happily, greeting Nathan with a gust of air out his nostrils, like last time. Nathan sighed and hesitated before quickly doing it back. He found the process to be odd.

The horse then decided to lick Nathan's face. His day just gets better and better. Varian was trying to stifle a laugh as he got out a handkerchief, handing it to Nathan who quickly wiped off his face. "Best Saturday ever," he mumbled sarcastically.

"On the bright side, at least he didn't try and eat your hair." Varian replied, unconsciously running his hand down his pony tail before throwing it back over his shoulder.

"... He's done that?"

"One of the main reasons why I keep it tied back all the time." he said, pulling another brush out of his pocket, reaching up to touch Cana's head in order to hold him still as he began to brush him with light, even coats. Shaking his head slightly, Nathan sighed.

Pets were too much work.

"To start you off," Varian began, causing Nathan to pay attention, "Just brush him with short, quick strokes. It gets the dirt out of his coat a lot easier than long ones," he said, doing it a few times himself, "Like that." Nathan nodded back, watching intently until Vairan stopped. "Now you try."

Nathan stared momentarily before sighing, stepping closer to Cana and brushing him like Varian had. Apparently he was more tense about it than he thought.

"You need to relax, he's going to hurt you." Varian said, going behind Nathan and lightly touching his shoulder. "Let me see your hand."

Frowning, and slightly confused, Nathan moves his hand back toward Varian. "I fail to see how you're gonna help me relax."

Not an untrue statement. After two kisses and Varian being basically half dead, relaxed wasn't something he felt. More along the lines of... "Prepared to jump you at any second"

Yeah. That seemed more accurate.

"Just trust me." Varian said, taking the hand that the brush was in and directing it to the back end of the horse (he knew it had a name, but... Well, as previously stated- he's not a farmer)

"Breathe in..." Varian directed, not continuing until Nathan did. "... And brush. Short, even strokes." Nathan kept following his directions. "Breathe out... there. Better?"

"... A little." Nathan admitted. Varian chuckled lightly, slowly pulling his hand away from Nathans.

"And repeat."

Nathan kept going for a few minutes before glancing to Varian. "... When can I stop?"

"Now. He's as clean as he'll get with a horse brush."

Frowning again and pulling his hand away from the horse, Nathan blinked. "... What does that mean?"

"It means you're going to have to wait a minute and see." Varian replied with a small laugh, going into the barn and coming back out with a squeegee.

Wait... didn't they use those on cars? Nathan felt his eyes widen slightly.

Holy shit...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You hold this, while I get the hose," Varian said, handing the squeegee to Nathan who took it with great reluctance.

"... Yeah... sure... why not." he mumbled holding the squeegee.

Varian smiled and quickly disappeared the corner of the barn. Walking up to the hose reel, he turned the tap and uncoiled the hose, piling it over his shoulder before walking around the barn with Nathan still standing where he was, holding the squeegee.

Dropping the hose, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a coiled rope. Uncoiling it, he took hold of Cana's massive head and made a makeshift halter. Tugging on it to steer Cana in the direction of the pasture fence, he looped it around the rail in a slip knot. If Cana tried getting away it'd only tighten. But Cana never tried to run.

"I did tell you we'd be washing him," he said turning back to Nathan. "Fair warning, you will get wet, he'll make sure of it."

Nathan sighed and frowned slightly. "Yeah. I figured."

"You can't say I didn't warn you," Varian said, peeling off his outer shirt and setting it out of the way before taking his pony tail out and stuffing the rubber band into his pocket. "If you have anything you don't want getting wet, I'd suggest you either remove it or hide it, and you can say good bye to your hair do. It won't stay as it is when he's done with you."

Nathan took out his phone and keys before setting them with Vairan's shirt. "Of course. Best I've gotten it to look in days and it's getting messed up."

Varian smiled, and bent to pick up the hose. "You aren't the only one. The one day I decide to wear white is the day Cana decides to take a dirt bath and needs washing."

Nathan remained quiet for a minute before smiling slightly to himself.

Varian couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Well, Nathan had it decided. He officially loved this horse. And white shirts. Varian should wear them more often. And wash horses more often. And invite Nathan over more often.

... He actually invited himself... but that wasn't the point.

Varian stepped around Cana so he was on the same side as Nathan, putting the hose on low power before starting to wet the horse's coat. Not that washing horses was boring to Nathan (certainly not if it meant he got to see Varian wet) but he didn't exactly have a lot of interest in it after that.

"You can help too. Rub the water into his coat while I get the soap." Varian said, turning the hose off and setting it down before getting what Nathan assumed was the soap. Reaching up, he hesitated before doing what Varian had said, rubbing the water into Cana's coat and sighing. Varian came back shortly, putting some of the soap into his hands before beginning to work it into Cana's coat, Nathan watching as the soap almost immediately got that bubbly, fluffy look to it. "It's just like washing your own hair, only it's shorter and faster." he said, showing Nathan how to do it. "Plus, Cana views it as affection, so it makes him happy."

Cana chose that moment to bend his head around to Nathan, nuzzling his cheek as he made a noise that Nathan wasn't entirely sure how to describe. He'd have to Google horse some time soon.

Patting the horses head lightly, Nathan followed Varian's example, working some of the soap into Cana's coat as well. It went on silently for a while, both of them covering the horse in the soap until Nathan began to get bored, letting his mind wander.

He'd get Hell when he came home for leaving without permission. He didn't particularly care though. He had no doubt that Eric would stick up for him by saying something like "He's nineteen, of course he won't stay in on a Saturday!"

He did like the man at times.

Glancing over to Varian, he decided to observe his clothing choice a bit more. Usually his clothes weren't so... form-fitting. Not that Nathan minded. It was a pretty good view. Though it made Nathan glance down at his own clothes.

He wasn't as muscular as Varian was- he was skinny. Not exactly lanky, like Justin, but still. And he usually had a jacket, which he went without today, for whatever reason, which helped to hide how skinny his arms were.

Varian stopped suddenly, bending down to pick up the hose as Nathan backed away, watching him rinse down Cana as he mentioned something about using the squeegee to get any access water off. Nathan picked it up, managing to get some of the water off before Cana decided to do it himself, shaking and spraying both boys with water until they were nearly soaked.

Nathan sighed for a minute, dropping the squeegee and looking at Varian, preparing to say something when he actually got a good look at him.

Covered in water. And wearing a white shirt. Nathan was fairly sure it was one of the best things he'd seen. It also made him wish his phone had a camera. Or that Varian could just stay like that. All the time.

That would be nice...

Stopping the little inner-monologue he had going, Nathan sighed. "Well... that was... interesting..."

Varian laughed in response, smoothing his hair back before patting Cana. "You're just like a little kid Cana." he commented, smiling openly before turning to Nathan. "And now I let him out to the pasture."

He untied the horse, removing the rope and letting him out into the larger pasture. Nathan watched Cana leave for a moment before turning slightly, noticing another horse, a new one, in a smaller pasture. Pushing his hair out of his face to see better, he could tell some of it was grey.

Yep. Definitely never saw it before.

"I haven't seen that one before." he commented. Varian turned to what Nathan was looking at, smiling. "Yeah, I just got him today. His name's Hurricane Rain, but I was told he goes by Cane."

"Oh... Where'd he come from?"

"There's another farm down the road and a woman named Helen lives there. She gives me jobs for quick cash so I have some sort of income during the down-times on the farm." he paused, looking the horse over. "Her niece brought this guy from another farm and he needs to be gentled and broken, so I'm boarding him for a while until he's good to ride."

"... Interesting. Who's the niece?"

Varian chuckled lightly, clearly amused. "Surprisingly... Jecklynn. She moved in with her aunt this summer."

Fucking figures. Nathan could feel himself sneering, couching and covering his mouth in a (admittedly bad) attempt to hide it before nodding. "That's uh... fascinating..."

"You forget my senses are more acute than yours. Why don't you like her?" Varian asked softly, but not in an accusing manner. Nathan sighed, rolling his eyes slightly.

"I don't know, I just... don't." He honestly wasn't completely sure why he didn't like her. But he did know that she didn't sit well with him in the least. And usually, his feelings about people were fairly accurate.

"Well you don't have to worry. She has two too many curves for my taste." Varian said, turning back to the horse. "However, she does have good taste in horses. He's a beauty."

Cane decided to let out a loud whinny at that, prancing (Nathan couldn't think of another word for it) around the small pasture with his tail and ears up.

Nathan hummed quietly in agreement before shivering slightly, frowning. He hated being wet.

Varian smiled, grabbing his shirt before handing Nathan his keys and cell phone. "You can come inside and dry off if you'd like. I have to change my shirt, so I wouldn't have a problem lending you some clothes." Varian said, beginning his way back up to the house.

"I am okay with that." Nathan sighed in response, checking the time on his phone before following. Varian walked into the house and to his room, Nathan slowly following as he saw Varian taking his shirt off. Nathan gaped slightly, deciding that this was one of the best Saturday's he had ever had. By far.

Observing for a short while, Nathan's distance from Varian made it slightly difficult to see, but soon he could see what looked like lines, all over Varian's back.

Scars.

Frowning and tilting his head, he wondered what they were from. And while he wasn't sure what response his question would get, he was damn determined to find out anyway.

"... What are those from?"

Varian paused, twisting to look at Nathan, and then his own back. "Oh, these..." he hesitated and sighed, "They're from Grant. He burnt my back when he left to enforce the separation."

"... That was, what, six years ago? Should they still be there?" Nathan asked curiously, then thought about it. Grant had burnt his back. "... His element was fire?"

"Seven by Sunday. And they didn't heal completely because the injury was too extensive when I Changed," he paused, "Yes, his element was fire."

Nathan vaguely remembered when Varian was working with him, and seemed more than a little relieved that he couldn't do fire. "Is that why you seemed pretty happy when it wasn't mine?"

Varian turned to Nathan, his back now out of view. "My feelings for you wouldn't have changed even if it was your element. But yes, it's part of the reason. Whenever I see fire, I remember. It doesn't hurt as badly as it did, but it affects me nonetheless."

Nathan nodded slightly. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Varian smiled genuinely, walking over to his closet. "It happened a long time ago." he said, pulling out a dark blue, long-sleeved shirt and throwing it to Nathan before pulling out a hunter green T-shirt for himself, pulling it on. "Besides, it always feels like we talk about me and my past. What about you? Tell me about yourself."

Nathan snorted, pulling his own shirt off and shrugging. He wasn't used to being asked about himself. "Not too much to tell. Dead father. That's about the most interesting part of my life." he said, the last few words slightly muffled as he pulled on the new shirt, rather happy with the way it fit. The brief change made him realize that he wasn't entirely comfortable being shirtless around Varian. He was pretty sure he didn't look as good shirtless either.

"Alright, my father left." Varian countered, leading Nathan down the hall to the back porch, where he went out, closing the door behind them and sitting on a wooden bench. Nathan sat as well after Varian motioned for him to before staring out to the pasture and fields. Venerra came running from the other side of the house then, spinning around until she fell onto her back and laughed. "What else?" Varian asked suddenly, smiling down at Venerra.

Nathan fidgeted slightly. "Mom got remarried, changed both our last names. She won't tell me anything other than that."

"My Mom suffered from depression and decided she and my father couldn't take care of a newborn girl and a gay son. Her maiden name was LoNell, and she married my father when she turned eighteen." Varian said.

"... I think my Mom has OCD." Nathan mumbled. Varian turned, seeming to be interested.

"I've heard obsessive compulsive disorder can be caused by a number of things, usually a severe trauma during one's life. Perhaps your birth father is related to that?"

"It's possible. Never really thought about it. Whenever I ask, she gets... weird."

"Have you mentioned that you're Mortal to her?"

"... No, I haven't."

>> "She never brought it up either, I suppose. Why would she want that secret to be hidden from you when you know you're different?"

"I don't know. She's a confusing person."

"Well, I do know one thing for sure."

"... That would be?"

"Your mother is human, but you can only get a Mortal child if one of the parents is Mortal or Changed. If it wasn't your mother, than your father is one of the two. She's hiding something from you."

"Oh joy."

"Did she mention anything about Venerra when she stayed with you?"

"Not to me. Her and Eric were talking about it this morning though."

"That's interesting. What about?" Varian asked before noticing Venerra on her way back around the house. "Venerra, I want you to stay where I can see you."

She stopped, smiling and running up onto the porch to climb into Varian's lap, gazing out to the field as she hummed and swung her legs.

"Um... About her, a little," Nathan replied, motioning toward Venerra, "About how she's not normal. And about how I'd been bugging Mom the night before. They also said something about a 'she', but I knew it wasn't Venerra."

"Interesting..." Varian said before gently setting Venerra back down. "Why don't you go inside and get your crayons and draw Nathan a nice picture?" he asked, watching her smile before she skipped back inside. "I overheard my parents talking about me once. They said I was getting too attached to Grant and it wasn't normal. But without him I don't think you'd be sitting here with me. So in that way, I'm really glad he hurt me like he did."

"Still makes him an asshole. Even if he did help save your life." Nathan mumbled.

"I know, but I'm really surprised at how my life has turned around since I met you. But I still feel like I don't know you that well."

"... I'd feel bad if I was actually interesting, but I'm not. The whole Dad thing is about it."

Varian laughed. "There are plenty of non-interesting things about yourself that you think are boring, but to me they mean a lot."

Nathan sighed, leaning back and turning to look at Varian. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"... Possibly... no, wait... maybe... red. Let's go with red."

"My favorite is gray. But not the boring gray, the kind you get when the sun is just coming up, and the first bits of light streak the sky."

"... I told you I was boring."

Varian sighed. "Red isn't boring. There are lots of different shades of red. Take Cana for instance. He's a red roan. I love his coloring. Therefore, red is good."

"At least you don't have to think about your favorite color. Or how to fucking describe it."

"Have you ever thought that it's because nobody has ever taken the time out of their life to sit down and genuinely ask you what it is? Not very many people will actually listen, but I am. You aren't boring to me."

Nathan stared back for a minute. "... I appreciate that. A lot."

Varian smiled. "Everyone needs to know somebody cares. I just want you to know that I do care a lot about you, even if it means you have to put up with my trivial questions." Varian paused, allowing it to sink in before continuing. "Like where did you lose your first tooth?"

"Aunt Millies. She uh... Smacked it out of my head."

"Now that is by no means anywhere near boring." Varian chuckled. "Speaking of Millie, I have a suggestion for you."

"... You do."

"Yes. Do you want to know what it is?"

"Yes."

"Well I was thinking, you know how we cleaned up and organized the storage room?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what if you 'suggested' to her that she could open it up to her customers. There's plenty of room back there, and then you wouldn't have so much clustered in the front of the store. Plus, there are a lot of items that would interest the common people. Sound good?"

"... Yeah, it does. Um, I also have something to talk to you about..."

Varian paused. "What is it?"

"Well... You know Venerra was with me while you were sick, and we were talking and stuff, and-- long story short, I'm taking you guys to the zoo."

Varian smiled at that, swallowing before turning to look out over the fields. "I've been meaning to take her, but it gets harder to find the money to do so. I feel like she's missing out on things a normal six year old girl shouldn't." he spoke in a soft voice, and it wavered slightly. "Her birthday is on Sunday." he said, looking back over to Nathan. "It's open, we could do it then if you have the time."

"That's fine." Nathan said with a nod. He admired Varian. He could handle a lot more than Nathan could. But it was sad at the same time. A teenager shouldn't have to do all the things Varian does.

Hopefully the zoo would be fun then. Varian could use it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"So it's a date," Varian said getting up and walking off the porch. He figured Nathan would follow him.

"... Sure." Nathan responded with a small shrug, getting up and stretching before actually following Varian.

Varian stayed composed. Although internally he was all sorts of insecure. He had never really been on a date before, and the idea of dating Nathan just had his heart fluttering.

Stopping in the middle of the grassy part of the backyard, Varian sat down and laid back, his arms behind his head acting as a cushion. "You going to join me down here?"

Nathan smile before sitting next to him, glancing around.

"I like it better when you smile. It lights up your face and makes you look really nice." Varian said, not realizing what he's said until it was already out of his mouth. Instantly he felt his face warm with a blush.

Nathan laughed and shook his head. "Remind me to smile more often then."

"I will," Varian whispered gently, before sitting up and wrapping his arms around his knees deep in thought. "Have you worked some more on your element?"

"Uh... I was kinda busy. Friend of mine was in the hospital. Had to watch his sister."

Varian laughed light-heartedly. "I think we've been past the friend zone for a while now..." he said softly, looking at Nathan and meeting his gaze before he leaned in closer, heart thumping wildly in his chest.

"... Maybe a little." Nathan admitted, leaning in closer to close the distance and kissing Varian.

Instantly Varian felt the all too familiar jolt of electricity pass through him, and he couldn't help but gasp a little before he pulled away.

"Don't think I've heard that before." Nathan commented quietly.

"Didn't you feel it? Please tell me you felt it," Varian said, wanting Nathan to have felt it too.

"Um... tell me what I'm supposed to feel."

Varian hesitated. "A shock or something like that. It feels like it should hurt, kind of like touching an electric fence, but if feels good. Makes you feel whole. You didn't feel it?"

"Um... I will confess that I don't really pay attention to much when kissing you... should I feel it? Like, what does it mean if I don't?"

Varian didn't hesitate. He wanted Nathan to feel it too, because if he did, then he was sure, but if he didn't, he wasn't sure what he'd think. He leaned over and grabbed Nathan's jaw, tilting it up, Nathan meeting his gaze confused.

Varian closed the distance, crushing his lips against Nathan's roughly with the need for him to feel it. Nathan winced slightly, but Varian didn't sense him wanting to stop. Turning his head, Varian pulled Nathan closer so that their bodies touched. His heart pounded wildly.

Nathan quickly shoved Varian back onto the ground again, his back hitting it roughly, but not caring as he hovered over him still kissing him. Varian knew he'd felt it then. He could feel the heat from Nathan's body practically scorching his in the most wonderful sensation Varian had ever felt, and he gasped, breaking the kiss for a moment to pant and catch his breath before kissing Nathan hungrily back.

Nathan moaned quietly, rubbing Varian's side with his hand and pressing down on him further. The sensation of Nathan touching him sent chills running down his spine, and he reacted on instinct, biting Nathan's lower lip for access. Nathan opened his mouth and licked Varian's lip before turning his head slightly for a better angle. Mashing their mouths together, Varian let his tongue slide into Nathan's mouth and met his, his breath hot and heavy.

Nathan moaned again, only louder this time and ran his tongue against Varian's, simultaneously running his hand down Varian's neck. Varian shivered at Nathan's touch, his hand cool against his burning skin, and groaned softly into the kiss, running his hands down Nathan's back to his hips and yanking him even closer, their hips practically glued. Nathan sighed, kissing Varian back furtively.

Breaking their intense lip lock, Varian gasped for air, Nathan panting too before their lips found one another's again. Varian slid his hands up the bottom of Nathan's shirt, grabbing his sides, and shifting so Nathan's legs laid between his own. Deepening the kiss further, Nathan move his hand from Varian's neck to his side again, lifting up his shirt to run his hand over the skin. Suddenly craving Nathan's touch, Varian grabbed Nathan's hand and ran it up his stomach to his chest, biting Nathan's lower lip a little more roughly, before bringing his hands back down to Nathan's hips and pulling him closer, needing to feel him against him again. Nathan responded by flattening his hand against Varian's chest and molding their bodies together, kissing Varian back roughly.

Varian broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down Nathan's neck, sucking and running his hands up his shirt further, his fingers exploring, his breath coming heavily, panting near Nathan's ear as he brought the kisses back up near his jawline, running his hands over Nathan's chest. Nathan sighed quietly, turning his head to give Varian more access while running his hand over Varian's chest and stomach before bringing his other hand up to do the same.

Unable to stand the torture of the soft caresses from Nathan, Varian crushed his lips against his again, and was bold enough to jerk Nathan's hips against him again, bringing his own up to meet Nathan's, moaning into Nathan's mouth as the pleasure spread up from their hips to his stomach and coiled tightly where it seethed and intensified.

Nathan moaned quietly before breaking the kiss, laughing breathlessly before saying "Maybe we should... pick this up another time... when we aren't in your back yard... where a certain six-year old can walk out at any time..."

Varian laughed softly, panting heavily but calming down. "I agree...it's just I haven't...felt the need to be so close to someone like that...be touched." he whispered and then laughed wryly. "I sound so desperate, don't listen to me."

Nathan smiled and shook his head. "I'd rather have someone desperate than someone who doesn't have time for me."

Varian reached up and touched Nathan's lips gently with his fingertips. "What's your mother going to say when she sees you come home with bruised lips?"

"... Probably something along the lines of 'where the Hell have you been, what's wrong with your mouth,' things like that."

"Venerra's coming," Varian said pulling away from under Nathan, and pulling his legs up to wrap his arms around his knees once again. "Who was your first kiss?" he asked, going back to the comfortable and non-passion filled atmosphere of questioning Nathan on his background.

"Uh..." Nathan began, but had to stop and think. "I'm not sure. Someone in eighth grade, but... I don't remember who it was."

Varian smiled and turned to look at Venerra as she came running over with a piece of paper fluttering in the wind. Nathan looked over to Venerra too and sighed quietly.

"I drew a picture for you!" she said happily, her eye's a bright purple, handing it over to Nathan. Nathan took it slowly and looked it over for a second. "Thank you, Venerra. I like it."

"You're welcome!" she said happily, hugging him tightly before letting go and skipping away running back into the house to do whatever she felt like doing.

Nathan smiled and shook his head before looking back at the picture. Then he glanced up to Varian. "Wanna see it?"

"Sure," he said taking it from Nathan. And looking it over. He smiled, seeing an elegantly drawn picture of Nathan smiling and washing Cana with himself nearby. "She's very good."

It pleased Varian to see Venerra so happy and bright with her drawings, especially when she was taking to Nathan so quickly.

"Yeah, she is." he said, nodding.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nathan watched Varian for a moment. He hadn't kissed anyone like that in.... Ever, actually. If you could call it kissing. He was fairly sure it was over qualified. Either way.

Varian apparently decided to jump back into the questions, starting off with "Earliest memory?"

That made Nathan think. He'd never been asked that.

"Um... Let's see... Probably going to a museum with Mom and Eric. Can't remember the museum though."

"Interesting... I think my earliest memory is when my parents took me to the town for the first time. We went to a thrift store. I bought my very first horse brush there for twenty-five cents. It's the one I use on Cana."

Nathan nodded. "Hm. Interesting..." Varian wasn't asking another, so Nathan figured he might as well. "What's your favorite class?"

Good question. He didn't know anything Varian was interested in other than horses and farming.

"Don't laugh at me..." Varian said reluctantly. Now Nathan was very curious...

"Well tell me and we'll see."

"... Physics."

"Holy mother of God, why?" Nathan asked. He hadn't actually meant for that to come out, but... Too late now. But why would anyone like Physics? It was so boring! And confusing...

Or maybe he was just stupid...

"I like Mr. Noll. He's very amusing and doesn't let anyone disappear. Everyone participates. Physics makes sense to me."

"If you say so," Nathan snorted, "Shit's too far over my head."

"What's your favorite class then?"

"Photography."

"Why photography?"

"It's fun. Teacher's a smart ass. All I have to do is take pictures of birds and shit. Occasionally people." Nathan said with a shrug. He didn't have much reason for it. He just liked it. It wasn't even what he wanted to do for a living.

"Hmmm..." Varian hummed, taking a minute to gaze up at the sky. "I don't think I'd do well in photography. Too many people. They'd just make me mad anyway with their stupid accusations and whispers. Out here on the farm at least I know I'm safe from all that crap."

"You shouldn't let it get to you. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but... Still. Plus you're a senior- you only have to deal with them for one more year."

"I tell myself to just let it go, and I can when it's focused on me. But now they've brought my sister into it. She's too young to have her name blackened simply because I'm her brother." Varian said, staring down at his hands for a minute before using them to cover his face, his shoulders shaking.

Great. He was crying. That was a little odd. And Nathan didn't really know what to do. Usually when someone got upset he'd slip away and pretend it didn't happen. But he couldn't really do that to the same guy he had just been making out with five minutes ago.

He hesitated before reaching over, placing his hand on Varian's back. He didn't know if Varian was the type of person who wanted others to acknowledge the fact that yes, he was crying, so Nathan just settled for a simple apology. Hopefully that wouldn't be too bad.

"... Sorry."

... He also felt like a jackass for not saying more... Damn you, mixed emotions...

Varian leaned back though, which let Nathan know he appreciated the contact as he cried silently a little more, waiting until his shoulders stopped shaking to remove his hands and wipe his eyes. "That wasn't supposed to happen..." he whispered.

Nathan nodded in an understanding way, rubbing his back a little. "Then again, with the shit you put up with, I think you needed it."

Varian laughed softly, turning a shaky smile to Nathan. "I don't know what it is, but you bring out the best and worst in me. I feel more stable around you."

Nathan thought that over. ... Was that good? "That's good, right? ... It sounds good..."

Varian met his gaze. "It's good. I'd rather be crying in front of you than go back to the crude shell I kept up at school."

Nathan hummed quietly in response before sighing, leaning over to lightly kiss Varian's forehead. He was very negative at times. He'd make a 'no negativity' rule at the zoo...

Varian closed his eyes. "How do you always know the right thing to do?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"We've been over this- I'm fucking magical."