Sweet Surrender

"Mother fucker! Who the fuck stacks fucking boxes like this? Fuck that hurt like a bitch! Damn it! Jesus..."

Millie rolled her eyes from the cash register, smiling politely to the woman she was helping, who kept glancing at the back room with a worried expression. "Simply my incompetent nephew." Millie explained.

The woman nodded, slowly leaving the store while shaking her head. Millie rolled her eyes, going to the back room to find Nathan rubbing his shoulder, sitting on the floor and surrounded by various boxes.

"Honestly boy, if you can't keep it down and do your job, I might just fire you!" she said, crossing her arms over her chest. Nathan rolled his eyes, slowly getting to his feet.

"Not my fault that whoever stacks your boxes is a moron who should've played Tetris more often." he mumbled under bis breath, picking up the fallen boxes and placing them on the shelves.

"Mind the bird houses. I want them out here in one piece when you're done. I get a lot of money for those things." Millie told him, slamming the door shut behind her as she left. The piles of boxes swayed precariously, making Nathan freeze. When nothing fell or broke, he nodded, going over to the ladder to climb it.

He removed one of boxes on a shorter stack, placing it on top of the ladder and opening it, his elbow lightly tapping another stacked box.

There was a loud crashing noise, making him close his eyes and sigh. Son of a bitch.

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Cana's head popping up through the top door of the stall was exactly what Varian needed to get his mind off of things.

"Hey boy, you ready to go riding?"

Cana's answering excited whinny was a very good reply in Varian's mind.

Smiling, he opened the bottom door of Cana's stall, and let him walk out.

"Can I go riding too?" Venerra asked.

"What do you think Cana? Do you mind an extra passenger?"

Cana swept his massive head low and snorted into Venerra's face. She blew back in greeting, and he nuzzled her.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Go get your riding gear on," Varian said to Venerra.

She bolted out of the stable towards the house for her things, and Varian began cleaning Cana and checking his hooves and legs for any traces of something going wrong.

Satisfied, he stroked Cana's snout and leaned his cheek against Cana's. Cana's intelligent brown eye looked into Varian's, and he smiled.

He loved Cana. In some ways, Cana was like the older brother that Varian never had, and in others he was the little brother that he never would have.

And that was okay, because he loved Venerra to death. She was a ray of light in even the darkest realm.

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"That's it! I give up! Fire me!" Nathan yelled in exasperation, walking out of the storage room and sighing irritably.

Millie stood still at the register. "I'm not going to fire you because that's what you want. So, no, you're not fired. Go sit outside and take a break or something." she responded.

"Damn sadistic old woman." Nathan mumbled, stepping out of the store and sitting down on a nearby curb. He hadn't felt like working today, not after lunch.

He was well aware he wasn't hallucinating. But he had to come up with something other than "Hey Varian, you're a complete and total nut, stay the fuck away from me."

That probably wouldn't have gone well.

So, plan? Avoid Varian at all costs, no matter what.

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"Gee," Varian ordered Cana, lightly tapping his side with his boot. Cana obediently turned right as they crested the hill, Venerra snugly between Cana's massive neck and Varian's front.

Her black riding helmet bobbed up and down as Cana took off at a carefree trot. Gripping the reigns tighter, Varian eased his body to move with Cana's, so he wouldn't have to work as hard.

Cana burst into a full out gallop, running anywhere in the field that Varian had brought him to. They'd run this field so many times, Cana knew exactly where all the holes and soft spots were, and he instinctively avoided them.

Of course Varian had had him walk the field, to test for any new ones before they started galloping around.

And then, without any warning, Cana straightened up and began "dancing". A definite piece of his old life. Varian chuckled, and let Cana do his thing.

Before he'd been rescued, Cana had performed for both dressage and "dancing" competitions. He'd been beaten and neglected if he ever lost which happened more and more until he just lost hope. Then Varian had found him, and Cana was a whole other horse now.

Venerra laughed gleefully, her chubby round cheeks rosy with happiness, her eyes a pure blue. More often than not Venerra's eyes were blue. She was a happy child. And for that, Varian was grateful.

"Whoa!" Varian ordered Cana, deciding that a nearly setting sun was time to call it quits. Cana slowed to a walk and Varian steered him back towards the house. Time to cool down.

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"Boy, go home before I slap you." Millie mumbled. Nathan had long since returned to the back room, still organizing. He shot Millie a dirty look, sighing.

"I'm almost done. Might as well just let me lock up."

"I don't want your idiocy contaminating my store. Now out, before I actually do fire you." she said again. He shook his head, stepping down from the ladder and untying his apron, placing it back on the hook beside his jacket.

Millie had walked out, going over to the windows and pulling down the shades before turning the 'Open' sign to 'Closed' as Nathan shrugged into his jacket and rubbing his eyes. He didn't want to drive home. He was too tired to drive.

Millie ushered him out the back door, locking it behind the as she shuffled to her pickup truck. Nathan stood still for a minute as the air felt slightly cooler than it had been all day, which was a welcome change from the heat.

He wanted to go home. But he didn't want to drive home. Driving took too much energy.

He slid into the drivers seat, slowly pulling on the seat belt before jamming the key into the ignition.

The drive home was uneventful, and when Nathan finally fell into bed he couldn't be happier. He was out as soon as he hit the pillow.

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Locking Cana into his stall, Varian ushered Venerra inside the house.

Yawning, she trudged her way down the entrance hall into the kitchen and plopped down on her butterfly chair.

Slipping out of his outer gray plaid checkerboard shirt, Varian walked through the kitchen into the laundry room and tossed it into the washer. He'd start it before bed.

"What's for dinner Varian?" Venerra asked, her eye lids droopy.

"I'll find out," Varian replied opening the nearest cupboard and spotting a box of macaroni and cheese. Plucking it from the shelf he set it down on the counter and bend to the cabinets below.

Fishing out a pan he filled it to the line with water and set it on the stove to boil.

Swirling around he yanked open the fridge and withdrew the gallon of milk and tub of butter. Half a cup of milk, and a fourth of butter. He'd made macaroni and cheese so often in the six years that Venerra had been with him he'd memorized the measurements long ago.

"Alright, now all we have to do is wait for the water," he said to Venerra pulling out his chair and plunking down on it.

Venerra gave him a sleepy smile and Varian chuckled. It'd been so long since he'd had a break from the birdhouses....He didn't realize just how much he missed spending time with his sister.

"You never showed me that picture of Cana."

Venerra's blue eyes lit up as she jumped from her butterfly chair and ran off to go get the picture she'd colored.

Waiting patiently, Varian smiled as she skipped over to him and handed him the slightly crinkled sheet. What he saw brought tears to his eyes.

She'd not only colored, but had drawn Cana. His intelligent brown eyes and his white snip were all there, as well as the white stocking on his left foreleg. Even the rusty colored fur on his face and his cinnamon colored mane and tail were there. But there was more.

She'd drawn him holding Cana still as she was sitting in the saddle on his back.

Varian remembered this moment. It was when he'd first let her ride Cana. She'd loved it so much that he took her for rides whenever he could. Smiling Varian handed it back to Venerra and scooped her into a hug.

She lay against him, her head tucked under his chin, her fingers gripping his shirt loosely. Varian closed his eyes, breathing in her minty scent, and he decided then and there that he wanted her to stay Mortal. So innocent and loving, what right did he have to take that away from her?

The water in the background started boiling then and Varian set Venerra down and attended to her supper.

When she finished he tucked her into bed and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen, doing the laundry last and pulling out his Marine Biology textbook.

Settling into the couch, he flipped to "Phytoplankton and Zoo-plankton: The Forces Unseen" and began reading.

It was well after four in the morning when he finished, so instead of going to bed, he jumped into the shower and proceeded to get ready for school. He'd have to pick up another order of birdhouses from Millie later after school.

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Nathan was nearly exhausted all through the next day of school. He was sore from having multiple boxes dropped on him, and all night he had dreams about what Varian had said. The only reprieve he got was in Calculus, where the human giraffe hid him so well that he was sprawled on his desk, sleeping away.

Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch, he went to the library, content to simply sit and read for half an hour.

Except he could barely make out the first three lines. He wasn't even sure what book he had grabbed. He set it on the table, rubbing the side of his face roughly before sighing.

This was not going how he had wanted.

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Dropping Venerra off at school early, Varian headed to his and was surprised when he got there early, and not early by five minutes, early by twenty.

Varian got some time to pay attention during class, Justin was conked out on the table next to him, free in La-la Land somewhere.

Physics was uneventful, for some reason people just couldn't understand sig digs. Evan didn't bother him during Trig, instead they actually worked on an assignment together.

American history was American History, he knew most of the basic stuff, so he checked out mentally.

During lunch Varian sat pushing his food around, not really wanting to eat. He noticed Nathaniel wasn't there. In the end he ended up giving his sandwich to Evan who greedily downed it.

It'd been a couple days since Varian had had any kind of blood. He noted his senses weren't at their peak levels, and he was getting tired. He'd worry about feeding later, the birdhouse order from Millie was more important at the moment, being his main source of income.

Sighing, Varian ignored his aching stomach. Instead of growling, it ached. How messed up was that? The only thing he had to look forward to was work. There was no way he was going to Latin class. If Nathaniel felt like avoiding him, then so be it.

He'd come around eventually. He'd have to.

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Halfway through Latin Nathan zoned out, ignoring the lesson on conjugations. When the bell had rung earlier, he noticed that he was alone in his paired seat today, and couldn't help but feel relieved and apprehensive at the same time. But, as time went on, it was obvious that Varian wasn't there.

Or he just decided to skip the class itself. Either way.

He also felt another headache starting up, causing him to sigh to himself quietly. He didn't understand why he couldn't get rid of the damn things lately. Maybe it was the sudden pressure of his Senior year, and it would dissipate as the year went on. Wishful thinking, probably.

He had to finish with the storage room after school later. How one shop could have so much useless shit was beyond him. They even had mirrors- In a tack and tool store. Who the fuck needed mirrors from a tack and tool store?

Not to mention those fucking birdhouses in the corner. Millie had sworn up and down that if he ever did anything to them that he'd be out of her store faster than he could say sorry.

Not that he would be. Sorry, that is. He had better things to worry about than some damn birdhouses.

The bell rang loudly, bringing him out of his musings as he grabbed everything on his desk before heading for Advanced Chemistry. If he was lucky it wouldn't be too exhausting so he could make it to Millie's in one piece.

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Pulling into the parking lot of Vogel's Tack and Tools, Varian got out and helped Venerra out of her booster seat. She bounced up and down in anticipation, all bright blue eyes and
smiles.

Grabbing her hand securely in his own, he walked across the parking lot to the front door. Pushing it open he heard the familiar chime and saw Millie looking up from her coveted cash register, there were currently no customers.

Millie leaned forward a little on the counter, a smile brightening her face. "It's about time someone interesting got here. Been bored for about an hour now."

"Glad I could give you some company. Do you have any new orders?"

"A few I think..." she began, ducking to ruffle around under the register. "Here they are. How long do you plan on being here?"

Varian let go of Venerra's hand and she made a bee line for Millie. "As long as you're willing to put up with Venerra, and if you need me for anything."

Millie waved her hand a little. "Oh she's fine. I just need someone to help out in the backroom." and then as an afterthought she continued under her breath: "Lord knows that boy will never get it done otherwise."

"Nathaniel? Initiation process huh? I remember that...." Varian said softly, rubbing the back of his head, a minor headache setting in.

"Uh-huh. Less than happy about it. Apparently he's a magnet for boxes." Millie glared. "Already told him that if he touched those birdhouses he was fired."

Varian chuckled. "That's a whole new side of Nathaniel then. He's usually well focused on whatever it is he's putting to his mind to, whether it's being stubborn or irritating."

Millie eyed Varian, he expression clearly conveying she thought he was crazy. "Like hell he is. Boy got distracted about every five minutes. Started swearing at my products like there was no tomorrow. So I told him to take a break."

Varian frowned and took a seat on an unoccupied stool. Venerra stopped looking at a horse blanket and skipped over to clamber up on his lap. Varian pulled her to him and pulled loose auburn curls away from her mouth.

"Is something bothering him them? Does he not like working here?"

Millie simply shook her head in confusion. "Couldn't tell you what goes on in his head. One minute he's fine and dandy, even socializes with some of the customers, the next he's silent as a snail. Walking contradiction."

"He is quite moody." Varian muttered, smirking slightly. Venerra scooted to the edge of Varian's knee and peered down. Then the fabric of her violet overalls slid, and Varian's heart jolted as he went to grab her. Clutching her overalls he pulled her back tight against him, his heart racing.

He'd almost missed. He never missed. He'd been off by several fractions of a second. That never happened. Worry momentarily flooded his system but he shoved it aside, instead choosing to focus on the subject of Nathaniel. Of course Millie wouldn't have seen his slip up, to her it would have looked like he planned on it happening, but Venerra's eyes a pure silver looked into his. She knew.

Bending down he lightly kissed the top of her head. "It's okay." he whispered softly.

"Understatement if I ever heard one. God help us all when he comes in."

"When does he come in?" Varian wondered looking up at Millie.

"Right after school. About 3:20." Millie responded.

Varian checked his watch. 3:18. "So about now."

"Yep. Wouldn't be surprised if he's sittin' out there in his car now."

Varian sighed inwardly. He hoped that this would go alright. Setting Venerra down he folded up his order slips and put them into his wallet. Now all that was left was to wait.

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Nathan had been sitting in his car for the past five minutes. He had managed to get to the store early, but didn't feel like dealing with that damn storage room just yet. When the time on his car radio read 3:21, he slowly got out, slamming the car door behind him before making his way up to the door, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Back to the storage room.

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Varian looked up at the sound of the bell on the door chiming to see Nathaniel walk into the store, his hands shoved into his pockets.

His head was down and he seemed intent on getting to work.

Varian watched in amusement as Nathaniel shrugged out of jacket and hung it up, replacing the jacket with the apron that he was supposed to wear. Then he slipped into the storage room.

Varian's met Millie's gaze and she shook her head as if to say "that boy is something else".

"Don't break anything today" she yelled turning towards the back.

Returning her gaze back to Varian she said: "Whenever you're ready."

"Sure," Varian said setting Venerra down who walked around occupying herself with the many different assortments of objects. Looking but not touching.

Then the sound of things crashing to the floor and shattering filled the empty store and Millie's face contorted into anger and irritability.

"What? What did you do? You weren't back there but for five minutes!" She snapped.

"... I don't know what happened." Nathaniel's voice drifted out, muffled.

Millie rolled her eyes at Varian and slipped into the back.

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Nathan glanced around at the boxes with a confused expression. He honestly didn't know what happened. One minute he was moving some boxes on the floor, and the next thing he knew there were boxes falling from some of the piles. He must have stacked them wrong last night...

Millie looked around, gaping at the various broken or damaged products before putting her hands on her hips and glaring. "How in the name of all things holy did you even manage this? What could you possibly have done in less than five minutes that would cause this much damage to everything?" she shook her head, walking over to a back corner and looking into a few boxes.

Nathan glared at her back, picking up some of the less damaged things and putting them back in the box. "No use, no one'll buy the things when they're messed up!" Millie said.

He closed his eyes. He was tired. On top of that now he was irritated. And he had a headache. He didn't feel like dealing with his aunt.

"You're damn lucky you didn't hurt the birdhouses." she had mumbled. That comment was one too many.

"I don't give a fuck about the damn birdhouses! I don't really give a fuck about the majority of this shit, but I'm still doing it aren't I? I'm fucking exhausted. Between work, school, and an asshole, I don't exactly have a lot of time to relax, so forgive me if I'm a little fucking distracted!" Nathan yelled, dropping the box of things he had picked up (which were now definitely broken) and putting his hands on his hips. "I don't see why you like those fucking things that much anyway."

Millie turned to him with an unreadable expression, crossing her arms over her chest. "Because I happen to have a boy out there with an adorable little girl that makes these, that's why. You know, maybe if you pitched in every now and then I might actually like you more. Don't make excuses for being lazy, Nathaniel." she said, walking back out to the main part of the store.

Nathan glared at her spot for another minute or two before shaking his head, bending down to pick up some broken mirrors when he happened to catch his reflection.

He froze for a minute, simply staring before picking the piece up and bringing it to his face. He had checked the mirror; his eyes were green this morning.

The eyes staring back at him were turning from black to a dark green color, swirling together as he felt himself calm down slightly. His hand shook slightly as he threw the mirror shard into the box, covering it up as best as he could.

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Varian watched Millie storm out of the storage room and she quickly left the store, Venerra running out after her.

At least Varian knew she was safe. She wouldn't go very far.

Walking over to the entrance of the storage room, Varian knocked loud enough for Nathaniel to hear.

From his position at the doorway, Varian saw Nathaniel roll his eyes, and he heard him mutter something about not wanting to deal with him right now.

Sighing, Varian walked in anyway and leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

Nathan turned his back to Varian. "You apparently don't seem to understand it when someone wants you to leave them alone. And you're weird."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well, why do you care?" Nathaniel retorted, sweeping more items into a box.

Varian sighed and walked about four feet away from Nathaniel. "I care because you and your friend Justin are the only people that have looked me in the eye and haven't spread nasty rumors about my parents that walked out on my sister and I. And you aren't part of the pack of whispers that never leaves me alone. Is that good enough for you?"

"I don't believe in saying things behind people's backs." Nathaniel said straightening up and turning to face Varian. "I don't know what kind of answer you want, or why you're so hellbent on freaking me out."

"I want an honest answer, and I'm just trying to get you to see the truth about yourself. I don't understand why you don't know you're Mortal, it doesn't make sense to me. And I've told you before, you're interesting."

Nathan burst out into a sardonic laugh. "Interesting. Sure. So ignoring you makes me interesting. Because that makes so much sense." He averted his gaze then, glancing anywhere but at Varian.

Varian stared at Nathaniel. He was avoiding the question. "You're avoiding the question about being Mortal."

Nathan paused, directing his gaze to his feet. Then he looked up and glared at Varian.

"Do you know what it's like having some guy that you've known a grand total of, what, about two days maybe, shove you against a wall and tell you that your eyes aren't a disorder like you've been told your entire life, but that you're in fact some sort of weird, freaky... Mortal... Thing? I mean, do you understand that feeling? At all?"

Varian closed the distance between himself and Nathaniel quickly, save for about a foot of room between them. Swallowing, Varian allowed the trapped memories he'd repressed surface.

"I was once Mortal like you. A Mortal vampire. That's what you are. And I met this man at school, his name was Grant. He too was Mortal, and right away I knew that there was something about him that was off. Something that inexplicably drew me to him. That made my heart race, the blood in my veins rush, the hair on the back of my neck stand up when he touched me.

"It started off innocent, but quickly spiraled out of control. On the night he called me his, I gave myself to him. And he bit me. He didn't give me a choice, he just told me that since I was his I had to Change.

"On that night he stole my soul and bonded it to his. He took my blood and his attacked my tissues, Changing me. I lost the pigmentation to my eyes that I had taken for granted, I lost everything. And I was told I was a freak. By my own parents.

"They were Changed too, but it didn't matter. I'd physically been with another guy. I was no longer their son and they refused to raise my sister in the same household as me. They left her. Left us. And I've lived with those very feelings you're speaking of every day since then. And I'm trying to give you the knowledge I never had. I want to give you a fighting chance. Do you get it now?"

Nathaniel stared at Varian, the green in his eyes darkening. "You know I'm not going to cooperate; so why do you keep trying? Look, I'm sorry all that happened, and I'm sorry your parents left, but... What's so bad about being ignorant to it? Why was it such a horrible thing that I didn't know? That I don't want to know?"

"I'm trying so hard because nobody deserves to have something they didn't know about used against them. You need to know Nathaniel, because the very fact that you don't tells me somebody is hiding the truth from you, and that's dangerous. And there are things about you that you have to understand, because you're dangerous Nathaniel. You don't realize it, but you hurt everyone that you don't want to talk to. Not because you're avoiding them, but because there are gifts, powers, that you have that can either help or harm, and you're harming. And the reason you don't want to know is because some part of you has recognized that you're different, and either yourself, or another person is working very hard to keep you ignorant."

Varian watched Nathaniel mull over what he'd said, his silence encouraging and irritating at the same time.

"Nathan. I don't like Nathaniel. And if you're going to keep... Persisting, you can at least call me Nathan." he mumbled.

"Nathan then, if that's what you'd prefer. I'd like to help you understand. All I ask is that you're willing to cooperate in return." Varian responded gently, swallowing past the lump in his throat that had formed when he spoke about Grant.

Varian watched Nathan process the information, and then he hung his head. "I personally think I'm going to regret this, but if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time..."

Varian grinned then. "As long as you know what you need to, I will sacrifice as much of my time teaching you as I can. But on one condition."

Nathan frowned, though it didn't consume his expression. "... And that would be?"

"In exchange for the work I do with you here in the storage room, you have to come to my house and work with me there, no matter how awful you feel after working here."

"... And when would that start? Because I don't work on weekends." Nathan said.

"Tomorrow after you finish up here and I drop off the orders Millie gave me."

Nathan nodded slightly, glancing around. "... I should probably apologize..."

"For what exactly?" Varian asked, curious.

"Well, there's yelling at Millie and breaking a lot of shit, then there's Justin for ditching Lunch today, and then there's... You... For... Being an ass..."

Varian smiled and grabbed the nearest box toppled on the floor. "I don't hand out apologies, nor do I accept them usually, but for you...apology accepted. Now let's try and get at least a quarter of this stuff organized and stocked on shelves."

Nathan stood there for a minute, nodded, and slowly picked up a box and put stuff from the floor into it, occasionally sneaking a glance at Varian.