Taking Chances

In the days leading up since Ian’s explanation, my worry had now become full blown panic. Who knew what was going to happen now? What if Harley had found out that Ian told me? What if he were looking for me too? Every day I was just as antsy as I was before but I didn’t let it keep me from doing the things I wanted. I would still go out with Gavin, go out with Ian, and I even went out to my parents that weekend. I was scared, yes, but I wasn’t going to let this ultimately ruin my life. I told him we’d find a way and dammit if we wouldn’t.

I was lying on Ian’s couch one evening flicking through the channels of the television while Ian was showering. There wasn’t much that was interesting on and I let it fall to a random channel, then lowering the volume. I settled down into the cushions, my hands going over my stomach and I shut my eyes. It had been a long week and I wasn’t going to lie- I was tired though I hadn’t done much. I kept thinking back to the events of the past week and I guess trying to keep that entire thing up was what made me tired. So far we hadn’t really sorted anything out as a way to try to help Ian. Every time something was suggested, it would be shot down once it was thought out for another moment. Couldn’t just have him leave without getting killed and I wasn’t about to just let him keep on doing it. That was a predicament in its own (the fact that Ian was slowly becoming my everything and I would do anything for him but I just didn’t know how to handle the whole dealing/doing drugs thing entirely) and it was one that made my head hurt.

I must have dozed off because I jerked myself awake when I felt something drip on me. My eyes snapped open and I was now face to face with Ian who was grinning down at me. Definitely must’ve slipped off as I didn’t hear the shower stop or feel him even get on top of me. His hair was damp and he was clad only in his boxers, probably too lazy to fully get dressed again as it was late and I was going to leave soon anyways. He laughed a little at my reaction and leaned down, pressing a kiss to my lips.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he grinned, obviously fully knowing that he had.

“No,” I stated. A yawn came out as I stretched my arms over my head. Oops. Ian kept grinning at me and I sighed as I put my arms back down. “Maybe you did, yes. Wasn’t asleep for long, I should be going anyways.”

Pushing my hands at his chest, I got him to get off me and I sat up on the couch. I ran my hand through my hair, flattening it down in spots and flicking my fringe out of the way. I yawned again and this time I covered it as I began to look around the floor for my trainers. Definitely way more tired than I let on and than what I figured I had been before. I was going to go home and just crash.

“Do you want to go out tomorrow night?” I asked as I found one shoe and attempted to put it on.

“I’d love to. Baby, why don’t you just stay here for the night?” Ian asked, placing a hand on my arm to stop me from putting my shoes on.

I paused and looked over at him. “But you’ve gotta work.”

“So?” he shrugged. “I’ll just drop you off on my way in, it’s no big deal. Or you know what? I can just call into work in the morning. I’ve got a few vacation days that I could use. Be nice.”

“It’s the middle of the week, Ian.”

“So?” he asked again.

I just stared at him and shrugged like he had before. “Alright, do whatever you want.”

“Good. Now put your shoes down and come with me.”

Ian grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up when he stood. Both of his hands now moved to my face and cupped my cheeks, pulling me in for a kiss. I ended up placing my hands at his hips, returning the kiss gladly. After it was over, he took my hand and led me out of the living room, down the hall and into the bedroom. He shut the door so his dog wouldn’t wind up in the bed with us and almost immediately, Ian was back at my side, his mouth back to mine. It took me by surprise but I went with it, my hands going back to his sides and running down them to his hips.

He let out a little noise against my mouth and I had to grin, breaking the contact. Ian stepped closer and grabbed at the hem of my shirt, tugging it up and over my head in one swift motion. Before my shirt had even made it to the floor, his hands were at my jeans to undo my belt. My arms had gone around Ian’s neck after my shirt was removed, his fingers entangling in the still wet locks of his hair at the back of his neck. He worked fast to get my belt, button and fly undone, shoving my jeans down past my hips. They fell to the floor around my ankles and I stepped out of them, kicking them back out of the way as my lips crashed back onto Ian’s. He started to walk backwards with me until he hit the edge of the bed and he pulled me down with him.

We both crawled up to the top, mouths still at one another’s, not going to be releasing any time soon. Once he had me settled how he wanted me on top of him, Ian smoothed his hands down my shoulder blades to my back, following the curve of my spine until he reached my bum. His hands rested on it above my boxers for a couple seconds while we kissed, then his hands slowly squeezed my arse. I moaned softly at that and he did it again. I gyrated my hips a little into Ian’s, definitely showing how much I enjoyed that. We moaned at the same time again and though it was a fairly ‘serious’ moment, I had to chuckle in how sync it had been. I didn’t know what he wanted to do exactly but I was down for anything.

“Baby,” he sighed out against my lips. I pulled away so I could look down at him, propping myself up onto my forearms. “I care about you, very much,” he finished.

That made me smile and I brought one of my hands to his face, and I rubbed my fingers over his cheek. “I care about you very much too,” I told him. It was much more than like but it wasn’t love. Not yet at least, though it was very, very close to happening. I just didn’t want to be the one to say it without knowing Ian’s feelings on the matter. So know that I knew we were both on the same page, it made it a little easier to be open about that sometime in the future.

Ian kissed me again, though this time it was much less rough and much more passionate. It was sloppy and slow but it was nice and I loved it. His tongue poked out and ran along my lower lip a few times and my mouth opened to allow him access. He explored the inside of my mouth for a couple seconds until my tongue pressed back against his, making him chuckle and hold me more at my hips now instead of at my arse. Our tongues lazily moved about one another’s until we separated and I smiled down at him softly.

“C’mere you,” he muttered to me, moving one of his arms out to the side of him.

I scooted down and rolled off of Ian and onto my side. As I snuggled into his side, his arm wrapped around me to hold me close to his body and at the same time, he pulled one of the blankets on the bed up and over us. Our legs entangled as we held each other, finding solace in being quiet and listening to one another breathe until we both fell asleep.

The next day, Ian did just as he said he would and he called into work for a day off. We spent the majority of the day in bed in each other’s arms, almost blissfully unaware of anything else that was going on. For now, we had no worries and everything was perfect. In the middle of the day, we took a shower together and spent the rest of the time on the couch, the television on in the background as mindless noise as we, well… fucked. A couple times at that.

As it neared evening, Ian got dressed and I pulled on the same clothes that I had come over in the night before. Before we were going to go out, he was going to take me back to my flat so I could change into something nicer and all over cleaner than what I was wearing currently. When he was ready, we left to go over there and it didn’t take long before we arrived at my building. We walked hand in hand up the three floors to my flat, laughing and carrying on. Acting and feeling like there wasn’t a care in the world still. At one point before I could even get my door open, Ian spun me around and pinned me to the door, kissing me roughly for a bit until we had to go in.

“So where do you want to go?” he asked as flopped onto my futon while I went back to change. I heard him flick the television on and search through the channels until he found something a minute later.

“Uhm, s’up to you!” I called back as I rifled through clothes in my closet. Ian wasn’t that dressed up so I didn’t have to be either, thankfully.

“You’re the one who suggested it, think of something, blondie!”

I scowled back, though he couldn’t hear me. Fine then. Stripping from my clothes entirely, I put on new boxers and then went back to my closet. I passed by the mirror as I did so and I was too absorbed in checking out the fresh marks that Ian managed to leave on my neck, chest and hips to notice that he had ditched the futon and was standing in the doorway watching me. I looked like a cheetah, more or less of the sense.

Looking away from the mirror a few minutes later, I jumped when I saw him standing there quietly with an amused look on his face. “Fuck!” I exclaimed, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. Ian laughed and footsteps signaled he was walking towards me. I opened my eyes right as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead.

“Sorry,” he grinned. “Didn’t meant to scare you but I didn’t want you to notice me either.”

“Uhhuh,” I mumbled out to him.

Wiggling out of his arms, I went back to the closet and grabbed a random shirt. I pulled it on over my head and went around finding the same pants I had worn the night before. Pants never got dirty, in my mind. Socks and my trainers went on next and then I found myself standing back in front of my mirror, smoothing out the ruffles in my hair. There were a few bits at the back that were wavy but as long as it was fine in the front, I’d deal. Everything except the spots on my neck were covered but I didn’t care about those that much either. I felt oddly proud about them for some reason. Finding a jacket, I slipped it on and turned back to Ian.

“Ready?” he asked. “Think of anywhere yet?”

“Yep. And I’ve got an idea,” I said, doing my best to grin as cutely as I could. That action let Ian confused and I laughed, moving past him out of the bedroom. I ended up grabbing the blanket that was on the end of the futon and tucking it under my arm, Ian following me as I did so.

“What’s that for?”

“You’ll see. C’mon, I’ll tell you where to go in the car.”

We headed out of my flat and just like I said, I told him where to go next once we were at Ian’s car. It was to this small Italian place that wasn’t far off from where I lived and when we did get there, I saw it wasn’t that crowded. I had never eaten there before but I’d heard some good reviews from mates from school. I was also burnt out on all the Chinese we had eaten the past week so something different was definitely on the menu. I told Ian it would be for takeout and after we ordered, paid, and gotten our food, we headed back out.

I was really tempted to grab one of the breadsticks we’d ordered when we got back to the car but I had to force myself to stop as I heard Ian. “So where to next, sir?” he asked.

Looking over at him, I gave another grin and flicked my hair from my face. “To the bay.”

He looked at me for a moment and then grinned just as I did. “To the bay,” he repeated.

In the time that it took to get to Cardiff bay, I had munched on one breadstick and split half of another one with Ian. Hey, I was hungry alright, that I couldn’t help. When we got there, Ian parked in one of the lots for a shop that wasn’t too far from where we had to go. Getting out, I grabbed the food while telling him to get the blanket. That was either for sitting on or cuddling up under, depending on how much cooler it would get. Coming around, he took my hand in his and we walked to the bit of the dock that we would jump down from. Ian went first and I handed the food down to him, following suit. Since the first initial time, I had gotten better at landing on my two feet instead of tripping all over the place.

We walked the short distance back to that one large rock and I could tell Ian was a little tense. He, like me, didn’t want a visit to be happening tonight or at all for that matter. He looked around and made sure the coast was clear before he unfolded the blanket and spread it out in the sand. Guess we were using it to sit on for now. Sitting, I took the food containers out from the bag, opening each one to see what was what. Thank god they had included plastic silverware in the order too. It wasn’t exactly glamourous but it was enough to make a good date night out of it, at least in my opinion, though Ian seemed pretty happy overall too.

Since we had no plates, we just ate from the containers the food was in (a bit of ravioli, some chicken fettuccine, and other sorts of pasta and bread). We took our time since we were in no real rush and we just wanted to just have a good time in each other’s company. By the time we were actually full, ninety-eight percent of the food was gone and more than likely I’d probably eat the small amount that was left either before we left the bay or on the car ride back to my flat. But for now, I put the containers and everything back in the bag, stretching my legs out in front of me when I was finished. Ian had moved over on his side while I was doing so, staring up at me in the process of putting everything up. When I was done, he took my hand in his, playing around with my fingers.

“Lay down,” he instructed me quietly.

I did as told and laid on my side facing him, my bottom arm tucked up under my head to prop it up. He kept playing with my other hand in silence for a couple moments, quite obvious to me that he was thinking. About what, I didn’t know, but he was thinking.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, shifting a little closer.

“Hm? Nothing’s wrong, just thinking.” Nail right on the head.

“’Bout what?”

“What I said last night. How true it is for me.”

“Which part?” I asked, though I knew what he was talking about.

“The y’know… part when I said I really cared about you,” Ian said quietly.

I gave him a smile, pressing my fingers back to his. “I know you do. And you know that I really care about you too.”

Ian nodded and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I furrowed my brows because it looked like there was something still on his mind and he didn’t know how to say it.

“What, baby?” I pressed.

He looked up to me, wide eyed a little. Once more, he took his sweet time in saying what he thought, choosing what to say delicately. “I think… I think I love you, Sean.”

I bit over my lip just to keep how big I was grinning in check. I moved even closer to Ian until we were laying flush up against one another. I ran my hand through his hair and then down to his cheek, rubbing my fingers over his skin lightly. After a few seconds of doing that, I pressed my lips to Ian’s sweetly, enjoying the feeling of his against mine. I stayed close even after I pulled away, my hand still cupping at his cheek.

“I love you too, Ian.”