TLOZ Chatroom

A Day in the Life
GANONDORF...
~

"You want some bacon with your eggs?" I asked that morning at breakfast. She shot me a dirty look. I sighed and set my fork down. "You know, you could make this marriage a lot easier if you cooperate every once and a while." She looked away angrily. After a moment of silence, I stood and dropped the remaining bacon from my plate onto hers. "Finish this, and then I will allow you to leave the table."
"What! There's so much food on this plate! Ganon, get back here!" she yelled after me as I walked out of the dining area of my domain. I could hear her tugging on the shackles that held her arms and waist down to the chair and her cries of frustration. I was not understanding why Malon insisted on being so stubborn with me after we had been married for almost three months. If she would just trust me, I would let her have a life of her own... well, more of a life of her own. If I let her do her own thing at this rate, she would tell everyone of how I paid Ingo to drug Talon's milk, then kidnapped Malon while he was unconcious and forced her to marry me. But we don't need to get into this now.
A few hours had passed, so I decided to go check on my wife. I walked into the dining room to find her sound asleep in the chair, her head tilted to the left a bit. She looked so peaceful and innocent... I couldn't wait to corrupt her. Not wanting to seem weird by watching her sleep, I slammed my hand on the table to wake her up. The sound startled her and she snapped out of her dream. She looked up, then seemed disappointed to see it was me who woke her.
"I see you finished your eggs," I said. She gave me another dirty look.
"...what about the bacon?" I asked, pushing the plate closer.
"I'm a vegetarian," she said with a sneer.
"Well, we can't have you going hungry, dear." I sat at the table next to her and forked a piece of the meat.
"Don't call me that, Ganondorf."
"Don't call you what?"
She glared at me again and looked away, mumbling under her breath,"Just wait until Link hears about this..."
"What did you say?" I asked, giving her a cold stare. She just stared back at me with a blank look.
"Link is not going to hear about this, and if he does, I'll make sure you pay..."
She stared again, but this time her eyes slowly dropped from my gaze and onto the table. I tilted Malon's chin so she would look at me.
"You don't have to fear me, as long as you promise me you'll never contact Link or any of his idiot friends."
She hesitated for a minute. "I will never promise such a thing -- Link is my friend, and he will save me from this imprisonment soon enough," she answered.
"....Imprisonment, eh? You think your little fairy boy is going to save you? I wouldn't count on it."
She frowned. "And why is that?"
"Because you have no way of contacting him. He thinks we're happily married and I'm attending school for a PHD in medicine."
She stared at me in shock for a moment. "You're a dirty liar, Ganondorf."
"Am I now? Well, if you think you're imprisoned now, just see what happens if you keep this act up."
"You cannot keep me as your prisoner forever."
"I don't intend to. You'll bow to my will and be a good wife soon enough."
"Never will I, Ganondorf."
"Hm... In that case, you eat bacon."
"What?"
I snapped my fingers in the direction of a door on the other side of the room. "Glork? Thargoid?"
Two of my trusted minions, Moblins of course, ran out from the kitchen and bowed before the table.
"Yes, m'lord?" Glork said mid-bow. I nodded for them to stand and handed him the fork with the bacon on it.
"Feed her the meat."
"Yes, m'lord!" they answered.
"What?! No, hey, you can't make me eat this!" she cried.
"Well, have you changed your mind?"
"Of course not! Just please, if you have any love for me at all, you won't make me eat this."
"You have no love for me, so I guess we're even."
With that, I left the room. She screamed and cursed at me as I walked away, choking up after a while with tears.
One day, she will understand bending to my will would make her life -- and mine -- a lot easier.

LINK...
~

Being the Hero of Time isn't all its cracked up to be. It's all that anyone ever sees me for. Can't anyone see that I'm just an average guy? Everyone expects so much from me all the time, and if I don't meet up to their standards, they're disappointed. Even the Hero needs a break sometimes! I just wish people would understand that! And also, everyone looks up to me like I'm this hero or something (uhh well, I am, but you get my point, right?), and if I do something, EVERYONE else has to do it...
So yesterday, I decided to take a trip to the Castle Town Market for a game of Bombchu bowling with Sheik. (Y'all know my boy Sheik!) Anyway, the whole time we were playing, this creepy chick who worked at the shoe counter was staring me down. Like, I kid you not, her eyes were like this big :* BIG EYES BRO * Since I get kinda freaked out when people stare at me, I walked up to the counter (cautiously, of course) and laughed nervously, saying,"Um, excuse me miss, but can you stop staring at me like that?"
I thanked Farore for blessing me with the Triforce of Courage, otherwise I would have never said this. But even with my cunning and bravery, this crazy lady did NOT stop staring at me, and she leaped over the counter and grabbed onto my hair, screaming,"THE HERO TALKED TO ME, THE HERO TALKED TO ME!" I, as you can imagine, was scared out of my mind and did not know what to do! I tried pushing her hands out of my hair, ramming my head into torso and more, but nothing seemed to work! But Sheik, hearing my cries of confusion and fear, raced over to help me! Now THAT guy is a true hero!
In the midst of all this, I lost touch with reality and just went kind of went blank. All I know is that I was screaming and squirming, trying to get loose of her grip. Just before I thought I might never be able to feel my head again, I suddenly fell backwards and hit my head on the floor. "Ow!" I yelled in pain. Sitting up and rubbing my head where I had landed, I looked around to see what had happen... and my heart dropped.
".......Sh-Sheik.........?"
I lifted a finger shakily to point at his hand. "W-w-what is that... in your hand...?"
He tried to hide it behind his back but could not succeeed. "Please please p-please tell me that's not..." I felt like I was about to faint, but pulled myself together enough to stay conscious. I gulped and hesitated at first... then slowly lifted my hand onto my head. I could feel it.... my beautiful hair.... gone....
"SHEIK! Why in the Golden Goddesses' names would you do that?!"
Sheik looked back at me offended, an eyebrow arched at me. "You should be thanking me -- I just saved you from this wackjob!"
"THANKING you?!" I fell back on the floor only to remember why I was sitting there in the first place. I muttered in pain to myself when I hit my head a second time.
"Look, your hair will grow back Link. Just wear a hat until then."
"Just wear a hat?! What help is that going to be?!" With that said, I shot up from the ground and stormed into the bathroom of the bowling alley.
I was frightened to look into the mirror at first... but I knew I could deny it no longer. Slowly, I lifted my head and peeked into the glass with one eye. Sheik had used a ninja star to slice THROUGH my hair, leaving the middle uneven and ghastly looking. I screamed at the sight and ran out of the bathroom covering my head with my hands.
"THIS IS NEVER GOING TO GROW BACK THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO!" I cried.
"Don't worry Link, we'll just get you a hat!" Sheik answered.
Teary-eyed and sniffling, Sheik lead me out of the bowling alley and away from the deranged lady rocking back and forth behind the counter to buy a hat...
**
**
I would tell you the whole story of Sheik and me walking through Castle Town to buy a damn hat, but it would bore you to death. So, I'll summarize it for you here. To be blunt, everyone saw my defiled hair and tear-stricken face. As embarassing as this was, I still got a hat, so I guess it was okay. But that's not the worst part of the story here...
Today, I woke up and went to shampoo my lucious locks... which were chopped and mamed, so I cried and decided to just not wash it that day. Feeling like an balding middle aged man, I tucked my hair into the hat and covered my head with it. Sighing, I knew today was a day where I had to go speak with the knights of Hyrule Castle... which meant going in public again. Why do bad things always have to happen to me? I thought. What in the Sacred Realm was Sheik thinking? Knowing I could no longer avoid the world, I left the house I was staying at (Prince Marth's home, and NO NOT BECAUSE WE'RE DATING, ONLY BECAUSE HE'S A FRIEND AND MY HOUSE BURNED DOWN) and ventured to the castle...
The Castle Town Market was as busy as ever, and as I was shuffling my way through the crowd with my head hanging, I noticed something weird... It had gotten awkwardly loud, and everyone had started running to a place in the opposite direction from me. I looked up to see what was going on, and was appalled at what I saw. A moblin disguised as a peasant boy was standing on a wooden box with a knife, and people were lining up in front of him.
"What's going on here?" I asked a man running by. He didn't seem to hear me and continued to make his way to the line. I walked towards the moblin, hand on the hilt of my sword and ready to draw it from it's sheath at any moment.
"You there, Moblin boy, what do you think you're doing in Castle Town? Have you been sent to cause trouble by Ganondorf?" I asked in a stern voice.
The moblin looked at me and smiled a coffee-colored big toothed grin. "Ah, I see the Hero is here to show you all proof that it is true!" he said in a raspy New Yorker (whatever that is) accent.
I looked around at the crowd staring at me, then back at the boy. "...That what is true?" I asked.
He shot his arm out and snatched my hat before I could even blink. "HEY!" I yelled, covering my head in shame. "Give that back!"
"You see, people?! I told you this was the haircut of heros!"
I blinked. "The WHAT?"
"Thanks for ya help, buddy," he said to me as the crowd started throwing rupees here and there to get their own "Hero's haircut." I stood there in shock for a moment, until my hat was thrown back in my face again. I quickly put it back on and rushed to the castle.
The moral of this story is that people idolize me WAY too much, when I'm just an average joe! People really need to see that I may be very attractive and intelligent, but that doesn't mean copying me will get you any closer to being the Hero himself!

THE END!!!!!!!

Zant...
~

Alone.
Cold,
Yet hot at the same time.
I'm nothing but an empty shell to her.
She denies me for a dirty, love-struck boy.
Why?
Because I'm dead.
Because I brought death twilight upon Hyrule.
Because she hates me.
Its not my fault I craved power.
It's not my fault I stole her throne.
If she had just joined me as my queen,
we would have no problems now.
But I'm "weird."
I'm "crazy."
Well tell me something I don't know!
So now as I sit here alone and angry,
with no one to blame but
MIDNA.