TLOZ Chatroom

(go to author's notes for what they're all wearing)

Journey to the Underworld
ft. Sheik, Zelda, and Rabia

Rabia and Zelda reached Kakariko Village in a hurry.
"Which way is his house?" Rabia asked, looking at Zelda.
Zelda pointed to a house farther down on the right, and they ran to it.
Not bothering to knock, Rabia just barged right in.
"SHEIK! You must save your woman!" she yelled.
Sheik was in the middle of making miso soup on his stove.
He looked at her confused.
"My what?" he said.
Zelda ran to the pot of soup and quickly poured it into a bowl.
"No time to waste, brother! We must save her now!" Zelda said.
"Who are we saving? Where's Link?"
Zelda sighed and handed him his bowl of soup.
"Kaikoura has been dragged to the Underworld by Zant!" she said.
He stood in shock.
"What? You have to tell Link! Now!"
"Link already knows! He's too busy chasing after Malon!" Rabia said angrily.
Sheik took a sip from his bowl of soup.
"DUDE! WE HAVE TO GO NOW BEFORE MY BEST FRIEND IS KILLED!"
Sheik lowered his bowl from his face and nodded.
"Okay, okay. Just let me get some supplies first."
"Hurry!" Zelda and Rabia said together.
--
Moments later, Sheik returned from a room in the back of his house.
He dumped a pile of weapons on a table near the stove.
In this pile, there were ninja stars, poisonous darts, bows and arrows, machetes, two swords,
some bags of bombs, fire and ice rods, manriki chains, hookshots,
throwing knives, medieval flails, and battle axes just to name a few.
Zelda's eyes got wide and her face went pale.
"Do you always have this many weapons handy?" she asked quietly.
Sheik ignored her question and looked at Rabia.
"You get your pick of any weapon you want, since you'll be doing much more than Zelda will."
"HEY!"
"Well, I came prepared!" Rabia said, revealing a sword twice the size of her body in height and width.
"But... I WILL take that fire rod there..." She trailed off and lifted the rod in awe.
Zelda lifted the medieval flail and started swinging it.
After a while, she swung it too much and it hit Sheik's bowl of soup, shattering it and spilling
all over him.
He gave Zelda a disgusted look and said,"Nice, now I have nothing to eat."
He took the flail from her hands and set it back down on the table.
"How about you just use something you're experienced with, hm?"
He handed her a bow and quiver.
"You can use magic, too."
Zelda sighed and nodded.
"Okay, so can we go now?!" Rabia said.
"Yes, we can go now." Sheik led the way out of his house after that.
--
"What are you doing?" Rabia asked as Sheik mounted his horse.
"Um, going to save Kaikoura?"
Zelda jumped on behind Sheik and held onto the back of his suit.
He looked back at her with narrowed eyes.
"...Do you mind?"
"Sorry," Zelda answered, and let go.
"You're going to take your HORSE to the underworld? It will die!" Rabia said.
Sheik sighed.
"Do you suggest we go by foot then?"
"YES!" she said like it should be obvious.
He climbed off his steed and helped Zelda get down too.
"Now, we're off to the underworld!" Rabia said pointing towards Death Mountain.
There was an awkward silence.
"...that's not the way to the underworld, is it?"
"Nope," Sheik said.
Rabia pouted and crossed her arms.
"Well then! YOU show us the way if you're so smart!"
"Well, I don't know the way exactly, but I've heard rumors that if you ask the Great Fairy, she will transport you there and back."
"Okay! Where is this fairy?" Rabia asked.
Sheik thought for a moment.
"Gerudo Desert, I think."
"....Of course it is...." She sighed.
"Well, no time to waste! Let's go!"
With that, they left Kakariko and headed for the Gerudo Desert.
--
They travelled for eight Hyrulian hours, and by that time the girls could no longer walk.
"Ugh, can we PLEASE take a break, Sheik?" Zelda huffed.
"We need to find a place to set up camp first," he answered.
"Right here is fine!"
"In the middle of the path? Look, we're almost to Lake Hylia."
"You're killing me, Sheik..." She fell to the ground.
"My legs are too tired to go on. Can we PLEEEASE just stay here?" She looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and pleaded.
Sheik sighed.
"We can't stop just because you're tired."
He lifted Zelda up off the ground and carried her over his shoulder.
"REALLY SHEIK?!" she yelled.
"Heyy, can you carry me too?!" Rabia said.
"Do I look like I can carry two people at one time?! I can barely carry Zelda!"
The two answered by saying,"Is that a fat joke?" at the same time.
He sighed again and said,"Come on, we just have a little ways left then we can stop."
"FINE, SPOIL THE PRINCESS, I SEE THE WAY IT IS!" She stomped up ahead of Sheik and Zelda and tripped when she walked on her ankle wrong.
"OWWWWW!" she cried out in pain.
Sheik stepped over her and kept on walking.
"Come on! This is no time to rest!"
"REST?! Pick me up you douche!"
Sheik sighed and lifted Rabia up as well, carrying her the same way on his other shoulder.
"Thaaank you Sheik!" she said.
A few agonizing minutes later, they reached Falbi's Flight by Fowl.
"Oh Deku nuts, I forgot about this..." Sheik mumbled.
"Forgot about what?" Rabia asked.
Sheik ignored the question and bent down to pick up a cucco.
Almost falling over in the process, he managed to pick one up.
He then made his way over to the man working the attraction -- Falbi himself.
"Are you ready for a flight full of--" Falbi started.
"Yes, yes. Just take my twenty rupees," Sheik interrupted.
Falbi then took the red rupee Sheik held between his teeth.
"Oh dear goddesses, this jump better not kill me..."
"Wait, what jump? Why are we jumping?" Rabia said confused.
"Sheik, don't do it! You have so much to live for!" Zelda hollered.
"What?!" Sheik said, then shook his head and ignored them.
......and then he jumped from the ledge with the cucco over his head.
They fell straight down after the jump, Zelda and Rabia screaming the whole way down.
Thankfully, water was there to save them from this awful fall.
Once they resurfaced on the water, Zelda said,"Sheik, I can't swim! My legs still hurt!"
Then, Rabia said,"Sheeeik! My ankle!"
Sighing once more, Sheik grabbed them under their arms and swam to shore.
They reached a bank of the lake and he set them down.
"PHEW! Thank Naryu for you Sheik!" Zelda said, panting.
"Why are YOU panting?!" Sheik said angrily. "I just had to carry both of you for two miles, then jump off a ledge with you two crushing my shoulders, then SWIM YOU BOTH back to shore!"
Again, the two girls said,"Is that a fat joke?" at the same time.
Sheik ignored them and went to find a spot to camp out at.
--
Once night had fallen, Rabia used her fire rod to light some branches up so they could see.
"Where did Sheik go?" she asked Zelda, who was hugging her knees by the fire.
Rabia sat down next to her.
"What's wrong?"
Zelda hesitated, then said,"What if Kaikoura is already dead? And then we get there just to die ourselves?"
Rabia thought for a moment. "Well we'll just send Sheik in first!"
Zelda shook her head. "No no, we need Sheik to do all the dirty work for us. If he dies, we're guaranteed to as well."
"Hmm, well I guess that's true... I don't know then, I gues we're just gonna have to take that risk."
Zelda looked at Rabia with her eyes filled with tears.
"NO... NO NO NO... NO crying on me! Wait until Sheik comes back, then cry on HIM!" Rabia said, inching away from her.
Zelda threw her arms around Rabia and let out a big sob.
"Ohhh I wish Link was here! Sheik is great and all, but he can never comfort me in the same way Link can!"
Rabia pushed her away a little bit.
"Whoaaa what do you mean by that?"
She sniffled. "Well, you know... He did certain things that I would just not want Sheik to do for me."
"Such as...?" Rabia was suddenly interested. In her mind, she saw this as a perfect opportunity to get something to use as blackmail on Link.
Zelda paused, and sniffled again, wiping at her eyes. "Well, it's kind of embarassing... So you have to promise to never tell a soul!"
Rabia nodded eagerly and listened closely.
"Whenever I'm upset and I'm with Link, he'll make me feel like I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. In the daylight, he'll cuddle me and tell me how much I mean to him, and give me anything I need without a moment of hesitation..."
Rabia stared at her.
"Go on."
So she did. "And then... at night... Well, you know..."
"Just tell me!!!"
"Okay! He'll come to where I'm sleeping and... well... let's just say he knows exactly what a girl wants..."
Rabia stared for a moment, then said,"Hold on a moment..."
She stood up and walked over to a tree in the dark... and threw up violently for three minutes.
Then, she returned to Zelda's side.
She cleared her throat, then said,"EW?!?!? But Link told me he was a virgin!"
Zelda was taken by surprise by this comment. "Really? Well... I'm positive we've had sex like eight times before!"
Rabia made an extremely disgusted face. "WHAT? EW! THEN WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TRY TO COME OFF LIKE YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH?!"
"What? I don't! I just make it clear I don't want to be in a relationship."
"But you.... You guys have... what the...!!!!" She shook her head.
"I know, we're complicated and hard to understand..."
"No! You two are idiots!"
"Hey!" Zelda frowned at Rabia.
"Well, you must have had sex with someone else like eight times because I was in a private chat with Zant, Link, and Sheik -- and Link was the only virgin! He's too honest to lie about that."
Zelda blinked a few times and stared into the fire.
"Then... who was..."
Suddenly, she stood in anger.
"I bet you it was that dirty pervert Ganondorf! Wait until I--"
"Really?! Okay come on! Ganondorf is like four times the size of Link!"
Zelda tapped her finger on her chin.
"Hmmm, true... Then who else could it be?"
They both thought for a long while, until Zelda broke the silence and said,"Ugh, this is no use! No one is THAT close to Link's height and build!"
Then, Rabia's eyes got huge and she stared at Zelda.
"...What?" she asked her.
Rabia continued staring for a while, then said,"Zelda... I think you had sex with Shadow Link like eight times...."
Zelda gasped and said,"What?! How could it be him though?!"
"Think about it! Link is too innocent and naive to be the dominant one! What happened after you guys did it?"
Zelda thought for a moment. "Well, I remember I had..." Her eyes got wide right then too.
"Oh my Din...."
"What?! Tell me what you're thinking!" Rabia said.
"....I had little bite marks on my neck and shoulder after the first few times... Then I had little bite marks on my thigh.... I my, I think I might faint..." She sat back down quickly, staring into the fire again.
"Little bite marks? Did you do it with a chihuaha?"
Zelda shook her head. "No, have you ever seen Shadow's teeth? They're abnormally tiny for someone his age! And he has little baby fangs!"
"Awww, that's so cuuuute!" Rabia squeeled.
Zelda glared at her.
"Sorry."
"Ohh, just wait until I see him next time..."
"See who next time?" Sheik said, lugging a bag of fish behind him.
"Uhh, no one," they both said.
"Okay, well, I brought dinner." He dropped the bag near them and sat down next to the fire.
"Ew Sheik! It smells so bad!" Zelda said, holding her nose in disgust.
"Well what is it supposed to smell like? Tulips?"
"What do those even smell like?" Rabia asked.
"Hopefully better than this!" Zelda said, coughing a little.
Rabia looked at the bag of fish, then at Sheik.
"Sheik, I don't eat meat."
He sighed loudly. "Are you kidding me?"
She shook her head.
"Go get me something else!"
"You won't even eat whatever this thing is?" He held up a lobster for her to see.
"Okay, I'll make an exception for that!" He tossed her the lobster.
"Sheik, can you make my dinner for me?" Zelda said with a little bit of a whine.
"Ugh, Zelda, I've been doing things for you all day. Can't you make it?"
"Well I don't know how to!"
"It's easy! You skin the fish, then--"
"I have to SKIN it?! Ew! I'll go without dinner then!"
Sheik picked up a fish and took a throwing knife out of his pocket.
"You HAVE to eat, Zelda. I'll make your damn dinner for you."
Zelda grinned and said,"Thanks Sheik!"
He grumbled to himself, and started skinning the fish.
After they ate, they went to sleep. Rabia and Zelda slept in sleeping bags under a tree, and Sheik had to sleep against the tree because Zelda had caused him to drop her bag in the lake earlier. Zelda, being the princess she is, made sure she had a bag to sleep in, and Sheik gave his up to avoid her whining all night.
They slept soundly all night, and awoke at dawn the next day.
--
Rabia was used to being someone who woke up before everyone else. But when she was out with Zelda and Sheik, she was the last to wake up. She looked over once she woke up and saw Zelda brushing her wet hair.
"Where's Sheik, and why is your hair wet?" Rabia said dreamily.
Zelda turned to look at her. "I don't know where he went, but I just washed my hair in the lake."
Rabia got up from her sleeping bag and rolled it up. "Can I borrow the shampoo and stuff you were using?"
"Sure," she answered, tossing her a bag full of soaps.
Rabia raised an eyebrow at her.
"...What?" Zelda asked.
"Do you ALWAYS carry this around with you?"
She stopped brushing her hair and said,"Don't make fun of me!"
Rabia shook her head and went over to a rock on the far side of the bank. She got in the water and washed her newly-acquired-from-Sheik hair and Zora fins and stuff. While she was getting out of the water, she saw Sheik standing on the rock she was behind, looking up at the desert in the distance with a hand above his eyes, trying to block some sunlight.
"Do you mind?!" she cried, hiding a little behind the rock. "I'm naked here!"
Sheik looked down at her. "So? You're a Zora -- you're always naked."
"Not me! I'm always fully clothed!"
He shook his head and climbed down from the rock. "Are you ready to go now?"
She glared at him. "Yes, just let me get out of the water in peace please!"
He gave her a funny look and mumbled,"Okay then," walking away.
Eventually, she returned to where everyone was standing -- fully clothed and with her warpaint handy.
"Can you paint this on me Zelda?" she asked, handing her the paints.
"Suuuure!" she said chipperly. She painted the lines and dots on Rabia's face for her, and then Rabia helped her paint the swirls on Zelda's legs.
"You want some too, Sheik?" Rabia asked him.
"Uhh, no thanks. It would have to be on my forehead and eyes anyway."
"D'aww, Sheik, don't be a party pooper!" Zelda said, picking the red paint and brush from Rabia's hand.
"Umm, this isn't a party though."
"Come on, just a few lines," she said, reaching for his cowl. He tried to back away, but Zelda was already painting a red line down his nose and under his eyes. After she was done, she moved out of the way for Rabia to see.
"Tadaaa!" she said, revealing her "masterpiece."
"Great, now I look like a freak," he mumbled under his breath.
"You already accomplished that on your own," Zelda said. He glared at her and punched her in the arm, while she just laughed at him.
"I like it! But, Sheik, you know you have a little bit of a tan line from wearing that thing all the time, right?" Rabia said.
Sheik's face flushed and he pulled his cowl back up over his face. "Yeah, so?"
She shook her head at him, and they then set off for the Gerudo Desert once more.
--
Probably the hottest out of the three was Rabia. She tried her best to make her cloak cover her head, but it wouldn't stay. She wished this fairy didn't have to live in the middle of a desert.
"Here we are, Sheik said, pointing to a spot in the sand underneath a ledge.
The two girls stared at him as he crouched down and started digging with his hands at the sand. He stopped after a while and looked back at them.
"Well? Don't just stand there." He turned back to the spot and continued digging.
"You couldn't have brought a shovel, Sheik?" Zelda asked with a sigh.
"Didn't cross my mind, considering I had to carry everything else," he answered, still the only one digging. Then, he found a door under the sand. He dusted more sand away and lifted it by a rope handle. Motioning for them to follow, he jumped down.
"If you think I'm going down there, you're crazy!" Zelda said, folding her arms.
"It's cooler down here," Sheik called up.
Zelda and Rabia ran for the door and fought to be the first down. Rabia, being the stronger of the two, managed to get down first, hurting her ankle a little again.
Zelda just fell straight down screaming and landing on her butt.
"Ugh, now where do we go?" Zelda asked, standing and wiping the dust off of her skirt.
"I dunno. Let's go this way," he said, walking in the direction away from the door.
"If we get lost, I'm blaming you!" she called after him.
They reached a ledge, and looked over at the ground below.
Rabia grinned. "Moblins! Time for me to finally use this thing!" she said, drawing her sword and preparing to jump down.
"Wait!" Sheik said, holding his arm out to keep her from jumping. He pointed to a dusty looking light coming from a crack in the wall on the other side.
"So?" Rabia said. "I just wanna kill these things!"
He reached into a bag on his back and pulled out a bomb.
"Whoaa, be careful with that thing!" Rabia said, inching a little bit away.
He took the bow and an arrow from Zelda's back and tied the bomb to it with thick string.
"Dude! What are you doing?!"
Still ignoring her, he lit the fuse at the end of the bomb -- aimed the bow and arrow -- and fired it at the light.
A few seconds later, the bomb exploded with a loud BOOOOOOM. The Moblins looked up in stupid confusion, only to be crushed by the rocks that had been blown up.
"Come on!" Sheik said, after returning Zelda's bow. He jumped down and ran over to the hole made by the bomb. Rabia and Zelda soon followed.
When they reached the hole and climbed through it, they saw a pond, and the dusty looking light in the middle of it again.
They walked to the middle, where the water only reached above their knees, and stood before the light. Suddenly, a fairy appeared. She looked about 14 in human years, and had big, feathery looking wings. She was wearing only a cloth skirt, and thankfully, her long green hair was covering everything in the front. Zelda and Sheik bowed their heads to her, and Rabia did the same once she saw them.
"Why have you come to my spring?" the Great Fairy asked.
Sheik and Zelda looked at Rabia to answer, which she knew she had to even though she really didn't want to.
"My friend, Kaikoura, was dragged to the underworld by King Zant, and we need to save her before her soul is ripped from her body."
The fairy crouched down and cupped her hands, collecting as much water as she could. Standind back up and holding her hands out towards Sheik, he quickly took out an empty bottle and held it under the dripping water. After all the water from her hands had gotten into the bottle, he put the cork in the top and back into the bag on his back.
"All three of you must drink this to return from the underworld. If one of you doesn't drink it, you will be left behind to burn forever."
Oooh, that's dramatic, Rabia thought.
"I will make sure you make it into the underworld safely, but I can't guarantee you return the same way."
Suddenly, she started flapping her wings, gradually building up speed. The force of the wind she was making made the trio fall backwards into the water. After a while the flapping stopped and they surfaced from the pond.
--
They had made it to the underworld!