Blank Stare

Hayden Brock glanced in her rearview mirror yet again, smiling when she saw her best friend’s truck trailing behind hers as she led the way to her Dad’s house in Tempe. She hadn’t even driven by her old neighborhood since she had left a little less than a year before; so, saying that it was weird to be taking the familiar route towards her house was quite the understatement.

In all honesty though, if it had been up to her, Hayden would have turned her Jeep right around and headed back to St. Johns. She was in no way ready to be living in Tempe again. Sure, she had missed her dad, older brother, and her old friends whom she’d left behind when she moved… but there was one specific person who Hayden would be perfectly content with not running into. He’d been the one to push her away and not attempted to contact her for weeks, and she’d be damned if her tried talking to her now that she was back.

She pulled in behind her dad’s truck, unable to stop the small smile that covered her face as she stared at her old house. As far as she could tell, nothing had really been changed. It was pretty much the same as it had been when she’d left months before. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t missed it and the countless memories it held of her family and of her and the boys.

“So, this is your old house?” Spencer asked with a grin, shutting his truck door before walking over to stand by her.

Hayden nodded her head, her grin facing away as the seconds ticked by. What was she supposed to say to the guys when she saw them? She couldn’t just waltz back in after she’d left without so much as a goodbye. Hell, she hadn’t even tried contacting any of them in fear of them reminded her of John too much. She knew that would’ve made her crumble and come right back.

“I guess it’s now or never,” the nervous nineteen year old murmured, more to herself than to Spencer, who was still gazing in awe at the two story house.

She let her feet carry her towards the front door, her converse clad feet thudding against the cement lightly. Her hand reached out for the doorknob before she paused. Was she supposed to knock, or just walk right in? She looked over at Spencer, who just shrugged his shoulders, and then back at the door, deciding to go in without knocking. It was her home as well anyhow.

She was greeted with the faint aroma of spaghetti filling the house. Her stomach grumbled lowly in response to the smell of food. Hayden looked around the living room as she walked farther into her home, taking in all the furniture and pictures. Apart from a few new pictures and decorations adorning the room, it seemed to be just the way as it was when she had left. A picture of her dad, Kennedy, and herself brought a large smile to her face.

She hadn’t realized how long she’d been taking in the room until Spencer cleared his throat, nodding his head towards what he assumed was the kitchen. “I think they’re in there, Hay.”

The brunette made her way down the familiar hallway that led to the large kitchen, her steps making hardly any noise as she walked. The smell of pizza seemed to get stronger as she got closer to the room. The first thing Hayden saw once she reached her destination was her dad, standing by the fridge with a slice of Hawaiian pizza in his left hand. He didn’t seem to realize his daughter was in the room until Kennedy stood up from his spot at the kitchen table, the chair making a screeching noise as it slid across the floor.

“Kenny!” Hayden laughed as her older brother all but tackled her with a hug. His six foot frame easily over powering her short five six one as he gave her his famous bear hug, the one that left you gasping for air since he crushed you so much.

To say she had missed her brother would be one of the biggest understatements of the century. She honestly had no idea how she had survived without seeing him every day these past few months. The good thing was, she was back home now. Home; it felt nice to say that, she thought with a smile.

“Hey sweetie,” the forty five year old man said to his daughter as he hugged her tightly; glad she was living with him again. The house didn’t feel as cheery and alive as it usually did when Hayden was around. His daughter had always been the one that caused laughter to echo off the walls with her attitude. He had been devastated when she left to live with her mom, but he knew that it had been best.

“I missed you, daddy,” she murmured as they each pulled away from their hug.

Hayden grabbed Spencer’s hand as she tugged him forward with a small smile on her face as she introduced him to her brother and her dad, “Kenny, Dad, this is Spencer Smith, my best friend.”

Spencer stuck his hand out to shake Mr. Brock’s, “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“You too, son,” He said, “And thank you for keeping my daughter happy.”

“Not a problem.” Spencer grinned, his brown eyes twinkling as he looked at Hayden. He racked through his brain to try and remember the last time he had seen her this happy, and quite frankly, he was sure she hadn’t been this happy in an extremely long time.

Spencer stuck his hand out to shake Kennedy’s next but the oldest Brock just stared at him with a blank expression before he finally broke out in a smile, pulling him into a manly hug, patting his back and giving him knuckles. “Hayden’s talked about you a lot. Keep my sister as happy as you’ve kept her so far, and I can see us becoming great friends.”

Spencer laughed, “Whenever I’m around, she’ll be happy. Trust me.”

“Good,” Kennedy said with a grin.

“I’ll leave you kids to catch up,” Mr. Brock spoke to his kids and Spencer, leaving the kitchen with a smile on his face.

Hayden hopped up on the kitchen counter the moment her dad was out of sight, she knew he hated when she sat on them. But they were too damn comfortable. Kenny laughed at his baby sister and she smiled innocently, “what?”

He just shook his head at her with a chuckle, turning back to Spencer as they began talking about music.

At least twenty minutes had to of went by before the short brunette hopped off the counter as Spencer and Kennedy both continued sharing stories and getting to know one another better, considering Spencer would be staying with them for two weeks. The two didn’t seem to realize she had gotten up from her spot on the counter until she had reached the doorway.

“Where are you going?” Kennedy and Spencer both asked her simultaneously.

“I gotta unpack some of my stuff,” she paused as she saw them begin to disagree, “just… play some video games, watch a movie, and let me unpack.” Hayden told the two with a smile as she laughed and continued up the stairs and to her bedroom. Even though she hadn’t been here in months, she was still familiar with where everything was. She had no trouble getting to her room, and she was quite happy when she realized everything was where she had left it months back.

She grinned as she saw that her bags and suitcases were already sitting in her room, no doubt her dad’s doing. She pulled one of the heavier suitcases up on her bed with almost no trouble at all and instantly began pulling clothes out and setting them on her bed. She sighed when she took into account that it would take her forever to unpack everything. This was one of the only times when she hated having so many clothes.

••••

Hayden bounded down the stairs with her iPod touch in hand and her headphones in her ears. Austin Gibbs’ voice making her smile as another of his songs came on. She adored his voice, and he was most definitely one of her favorite artists, after The Maine, of course.

It was slightly odd listening to her brother and the guys’ voices on her iPod, especially after having grown up with all of them singing before they became famous, but she loved their band and music. Even though she was reminded of John with every song, she couldn’t help but listen to them. And she’d be damned if she let the fact that her and John didn’t talk keep her from listening to them.

The eighteen year old shook her thoughts of John O’Callaghan away as she continued on her way to the game room. She walked right past the living room, singing along softly to Into Your Arms, too caught up in the song to see the six guys sitting in the living room. Hayden didn’t even feel their gazes locked on her.

She walked into the game room, flipping the light switch on before she turned the flat screen television on, along with her brother’s Play Station 3. After she had grabbed the controller she plopped down onto the oversized brown bean bag, grinning as she logged on and picked a map to play on.

Most people wouldn’t take her as the type of girl to be playing Black Ops, but it was Hayden’s favorite video game; even if she did get annoyed with it and the other players easily. She had grown up playing all types of video games with her brother that most girls didn’t even know about. Killing people on the screen calmed her down, oddly enough though.

It had been quite a while since Hayden had played so she was a bit rusty, but she wasn’t doing too badly. She sat back into the bean bag as she jammed out to her music and continued killing people on the opposite team before the got to her.

Random curse words would escape her mouth whenever she didn’t manage to kill someone or she herself got shot at, and not once did she realize she had gained an audience in the twenty or so minutes she had been playing the game.

It wasn’t until she sat forward in the comfortable bean bag and stretched her arms out that she saw her brother, Spencer, Jared, Garrett, Pat, and John watching her play. She felt heat rise to her cheeks when she became conscious of the fact that she had been singing, something she didn’t like doing when people were listening.

The guys all smiled at her, but she did her absolute best to avoid John’s gaze.

She pulled the orange earphones out of her ears, pausing the music as well. All of them stood in the middle of the room in awkward silence for what seemed like ages, none of them knowing what to do. They were all aware of what had happened between John and Hayden, so it just made everything that much more tense.

Garrett was the first to step forward, pulling Hayden into an embrace. “Nice seeing you again, stranger,” he murmured as she hugged him back.

Jared and Pat were next to give Hayden hugs, each of them telling her that they had missed her. She told them she missed them as well and took a step back, thinking the hugging was over. She couldn’t deny she was more than shocked when John grasped her arm, pulling her back as he wrapped his arms around her. She breathed in his familiar scent for a split second, not knowing whether to hug him back or not.

John realized his mistake in hugging the girl he had hurt when she kept her arms stiff at her side, not making any movement to return his hug. It took him a few moments to accept she wasn’t going to forgive him easily at all but, when he did, he let her go reluctantly.

Hayden bit her bottom lip harshly, looking at Spencer for help. He seemed to understand that she was honestly at a loss for words after John had hugged her, and she really had no clue what to do. So she glanced at her older brother for a split second before she walked out of the room, choosing to get away from the boy that had hurt her most.