Hopeless Desires

“Chesna is a very interesting name.”

I nodded my head at Jared’s statement. “I’ve heard that a lot before. My mom was kind of a hippy in her younger days and she had a friend whose name was Chesna. It means peaceful.”

“Except that’s the exact opposite of her personality. She is the most unpeaceful person I have ever met.” I gawked at Amber, who simply ignored the look I was giving her.

“Hey you bitch, I’m very peaceful. “ She gave me a disbelieving look. “Oh, shut up.”

“See, she’s abusive.”

“So’s Garrett.”

“Dude, what the fuck? I am not abusive.”

“It’s all those damn zombie video games you play. They melt your mind.” John said, pointing to his temple with a playful smile on his face.

My jaw dropped, and I turned to the pouting, blue eyed boy with a wide smile. “You like zombies?”

His frown turned twitched the slightest into a smile and he nodded his head, stuffing his hands in his front pockets.

“Me too!” I chirped, more excited than I probably should be. “We need to hang out again sometime. I have the best zombie video games money can buy.”

“Yeah, definitely! Be prepared to lose though. I am a zombie killing pro.”

“Ah, I don’t know man. I do have the Zombie Survival Guide…”

“If there’s ever a zombie apocalypse, I’ll count on you to save me,” Kennedy smirked, finishing off his Heinekens beer.

It didn’t take long for the guys and I to become comfortable around each other. They’re all so down to earth and friendly that you can’t help but to feel completely at ease with them. They all acted like children, arguing and throwing ridiculous insults back and forth. You could easily see how close they are and what each of their personalities are like. There was never a moment of boredom or chance for an awkward silence to sneak up because one of them would always say something that would start up a new conversation. For a while we talking about completely random things, just getting to know one another.

The conversation soon drifted to their band and we moved from the overcrowded doorway to outside, where Amber led the guys and I to the backyard, in the shade of some trees. The topic of conversation flowed easily, only talking about one thing for a few minutes before an entirely different discussion took over. Eventually we got on the topic of my life.

“So, you’re originally from here but you live in California?” Garrett asked.

“Yeah. California’s nice, but New York is home,” I said.

“Do you plan on moving back here?” Jared questioned, squinting his eyes behind his sunglasses as the sun shone down on us.

“Maybe. If I’m given a good enough reason.”

“Oh, I see how it is. What am I, chopped liver?” Amber asked in faux anger.

“Don’t insult chopped liver now.”

She glared darkly at me, mimicking me and turning her attention to the melting ice in her red cup.

“How long have you two known each other?” Garrett suddenly asked, leaning back against his hands and stretching his legs out.

“Since we were in diapers causing mayhem on the playground,” Amber mused. “This little kid who was like three years older than us was picking on me. Back then I was the smallest and quietest kid in the whole first grade class.”

“Not to mention the nerdiest. She had these big, round glasses, buck teeth, curly, poofy hair, and this adorable lisp,” I said, an image of her with those adorable glasses popping into my head.

“Some things we don’t tell people, Chesna,” she said, giving me a sideways glance. I only shrugged, to which she rolled her eyes playfully. “The point is, Chesna here went up to the kid one day when he was pushing me around and jumped on his back.”

“Probably not my smartest idea considering I was a shrimp and this kid has some growth issues and was taller than fucking sky scraper.”

“He literally threw her off his back and into the sandbox. That, of course, did not stop her and she tackled him to the ground, biting his leg and giving him a bloody nose.”

“Holy shit! You are vicious!” John laughed, bring his hand up for a high-five, which I quickly accepted with a smile.

“Hey! She shared her macaroni colored crayon with me. Of course I was going to defend her!”

“You used me for my crayons?!” She gasped. Before I had a chance to respond we heard a crash, followed by loud, obnoxious laughing.

Everyone turned towards Amber’s house, glancing at the scene unfolding.

“If I’d known that these barbeques were this crazy, I’d make sure I was here every year,” Jared said, watching in amusement as my Aunt Lori and Amber’s Aunt Sarah drunkenly stumbled around the deck, knocking into chairs, giggling like high school girls and falling over each other.

“That’s nothing,” I said, crossing my legs and leaning back on my palms. “Wait until after dessert, when not only are these people drunk, but also hyped up on caffeine and sugar. It only goes downhill from here.” The guys chuckled, though I don’t think they know how serious I was being.

“We should go swimming. Even in this shade, I’m melting,” Amber complained, fanning her red face.

“Pool!” Pat yelled, his long hair flying all over. “Why have we been sitting here sweating ourselves to death if you have a pool?” He asked like it was the stupidest question that ever needed to be asked.

Amber just shrugged her shoulders. “No idea. But let’s go now. You guys have swim trunks right?” She asked, as we all began to stand. The guys nodded and we all made our way towards the pool, Garrett and Pat running ahead of everyone, screaming and pushing each other in order to be the first into the pool area.

Pat ripped his shirt off as he approached the gate and unlatched the hook, running onto the concrete pool deck. He quickly kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks, doing a cannon ball into the pool, Garrett not far behind.

The rest of us leisurely walked into the pool area and took off all our clothes, throwing them on the ground into a pile. The guys immediately jumped into the pool, screaming, dunking, and splashing each other. Amber and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes playfully, giggling at the guys’ childish behavior.

She walked over to the pool ladder, adjusting her red bathing suit top, slowly wadding into the water and sending a death glare to anyone who splashed her. I chuckled as Garrett yelped, swimming away from Amber who now had a noodle in her hands and was hitting anyone who came within two feet of her. I took off my tank and shorts, leaving me in just my bathing suit, and walked to the edge of the pool in the deep end, sitting down and putting my feet in the water. I leaned back on my hands, resting my palms against the warm concrete.

“You’re not coming in?”

I looked back down from the sky to meet the eyes of John. His sandy hair was sticking to his forehead and his green eyes were squinting as the sun shined down on us. He came up next to me, crossing his arms on the wall, his elbow rubbing against my thigh, and looking up at my face. I shook my head lightly, trying to ignore the goose bumps that spread out over my skin.

“I uh, I…can’t exactly…swim,” I admitted, blushing at the embarrassment to the fact that I didn’t learn something everyone learned when they were still in elementary school.

“How do you not know how to swim while living in California with all those beaches?”

“It just so happens that I hate the beach.”

“You hate the beach?” Kennedy interrupted, climbing onto a pool float and spinning around so he was facing John and I. “What kind of girl hates the beach?”

“One that hates salty, dirty water and finding sand in every crevice of her clothes and body weeks after going to said beach.”

“Well, I think you should learn how to swim,” Pat stated, trying to tip over Kennedy’s raft.

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because I love swimming and I plan on making all of you swim with me every day. We are going to get our swim on.” Not only did he state his last sentence in a creeper voice, but he added some strange hip swinging dance move. Jared grimaced at that, putting his hands on Pat’s shoulders and dunking him under water. Pat resurfaced and splashed Jared, turning back to annoy Kennedy.

“I’d like to work at a beach,” Garrett said, wrapping his arms around a blue noodle. “Being a life guard would be good job.”

Pat snorted, finally tipping and dunking Kennedy under water. “It’s hardly a job! I mean have you seen Bay Watch?”

“Mouth to mouth with hot girls. I see where you’re going with this,” Jared laughed.

“Yeah, except what happens when a fat, old man, with a chronic case of cold sores needs to be saved?” Amber asked.

The guys were all silent, thinking over their answer. They all shuttered as images passed through their minds.

“Okay, maybe we should just stick to the band.”

“Agreed,” they all said at the same time.

The day passed quickly and with the guys around there was never a dull moment. We made it through dinner and dessert with the family, the guys watching amused, as I predicted, at various people acting like teenagers, screaming and slurring their words with sloppy grins on their face.

When the party ended around 11pm, everyone was practically dragging their feet as they clambered to their cars or awaiting taxi’s. I traded cell phone numbers with all the guys and we all made plans to hang out again tomorrow. They each gave me and Amber hugs goodbye and then raced out the front door, all fighting for shotgun.