Trapped
six
Zalen wasn’t interested in apologies. He just wanted to know why the bastards had suddenly chosen to beat him on their nightly checks. He had been accustom to their sneering and insults but never once had they laid a finger on him. He had figured they weren’t allowed. He must have been wrong. It was stupid to think they weren’t allowed.
“Why did they do that?” he asked finally. Ryker looked up at him as finished with the elf’s hand.
“Beat you?” the boy asked.
“Yes,” Zalen replied, not looking up at him.
“You’ve already figured that one out, I’m sure,” Ryker admitted, pulling his lab coat tighter around his body.
“So they’re sadists?what, did they jack off remembering the bull shit they put me through too?” Zalen snapped, turning to see Ryker’s reaction.
“Yes and…no,” Ryker said, his cheeks lighting up. “Every elf that they drag into this hell hole goes through that at least once. Have you heard of gang initiations? And no, they did not get off to it.”
“No, I haven’t heard of them,” was all Zalen said in response, looking down at the concrete floor.
“Humans have ‘gangs’. To get into these gangs, people have to pass some sort of initiation test to gauge their worthiness or strength, so to speak. The guards have taken it upon themselves to see which will prove to be tough ones. From what I understand, the majority lie back in fear after their ‘initiation’. That is how the guards separate the ‘dead’ from the ‘living’. That’s not in the literal sense of dead, by the way.”
“I couldn’t guess,” Zalen sighed. “Should I be worried?”
“I don’t think so,” Ryker admitted, a small smile surfacing. “The only way you’d back down was if you were dead.”
Zalen listened in silence, turning the boy’s words over in his mind. He thought of that and remembered the threats he’d thrown the boy’s way earlier. Ryker had been trying to protect him. That was why he hadn’t undone the chains.
“How much worse would it have been had you unlocked the chains?”
Ryker stopped what he was doing, glancing over his shoulder at his subject. He looked grim. “If you could kill them, nothing right away. When you got caught, though, you’d be sent to the main scientist who is not someone you want to be sent to and I would’ve been killed.”
As much as he hated to admit it, he felt his heart pound at the thought of Ryker being in danger. He wasn’t supposed to feel guilty for endangering the boy. He deserved it for the number of elves he’d killed already. He hated feeling responsible for Ryker’s endangerment, though, and that was the strongest of all his emotions then.
“I’m sorry,” Zalen mumbled. Ryker frowned.
“For what?”
“Putting you at risk so many times,” the elf elaborated. His voice was barely above a whisper. Ryker looked away, laughing meekly.
“Honestly, Zalen, I would’ve ended my life years ago if I had been able to,” the scientist admitted. “Anything is better than this life.”
“Seriously?” Zalen asked, shocked.
Ryker didn’t answer right away. He leaned against the counter, his back to Zalen. Zalen stared at him patiently, hoping he would explain.
“I hate myself for accepting this fate,” Ryker admitted, turning to face his audience. “This was the last thing I’d wanted in life. What I had wanted was to be proud of being alive. I can’t remember the last time I was proud of myself. The moment I got into that school I wanted to die. This is the worst life anybody could get. I wish there was something to make it better. I wish there was something to make me proud of being in this. Clearly, there isn’t. This is the worst life you could ask for. I’d rather be six feet under.”
Zalen was taken aback by the sincerity in Ryker’s voice. Ideas were forming in his head, emotions taking over. He ignored them, though. Instead he met Ryker’s gaze and asked a question he’d been dying to ask since the beginning of Ryker’s confession.
“What about a rebellion?”
“Why did they do that?” he asked finally. Ryker looked up at him as finished with the elf’s hand.
“Beat you?” the boy asked.
“Yes,” Zalen replied, not looking up at him.
“You’ve already figured that one out, I’m sure,” Ryker admitted, pulling his lab coat tighter around his body.
“So they’re sadists?what, did they jack off remembering the bull shit they put me through too?” Zalen snapped, turning to see Ryker’s reaction.
“Yes and…no,” Ryker said, his cheeks lighting up. “Every elf that they drag into this hell hole goes through that at least once. Have you heard of gang initiations? And no, they did not get off to it.”
“No, I haven’t heard of them,” was all Zalen said in response, looking down at the concrete floor.
“Humans have ‘gangs’. To get into these gangs, people have to pass some sort of initiation test to gauge their worthiness or strength, so to speak. The guards have taken it upon themselves to see which will prove to be tough ones. From what I understand, the majority lie back in fear after their ‘initiation’. That is how the guards separate the ‘dead’ from the ‘living’. That’s not in the literal sense of dead, by the way.”
“I couldn’t guess,” Zalen sighed. “Should I be worried?”
“I don’t think so,” Ryker admitted, a small smile surfacing. “The only way you’d back down was if you were dead.”
Zalen listened in silence, turning the boy’s words over in his mind. He thought of that and remembered the threats he’d thrown the boy’s way earlier. Ryker had been trying to protect him. That was why he hadn’t undone the chains.
“How much worse would it have been had you unlocked the chains?”
Ryker stopped what he was doing, glancing over his shoulder at his subject. He looked grim. “If you could kill them, nothing right away. When you got caught, though, you’d be sent to the main scientist who is not someone you want to be sent to and I would’ve been killed.”
As much as he hated to admit it, he felt his heart pound at the thought of Ryker being in danger. He wasn’t supposed to feel guilty for endangering the boy. He deserved it for the number of elves he’d killed already. He hated feeling responsible for Ryker’s endangerment, though, and that was the strongest of all his emotions then.
“I’m sorry,” Zalen mumbled. Ryker frowned.
“For what?”
“Putting you at risk so many times,” the elf elaborated. His voice was barely above a whisper. Ryker looked away, laughing meekly.
“Honestly, Zalen, I would’ve ended my life years ago if I had been able to,” the scientist admitted. “Anything is better than this life.”
“Seriously?” Zalen asked, shocked.
Ryker didn’t answer right away. He leaned against the counter, his back to Zalen. Zalen stared at him patiently, hoping he would explain.
“I hate myself for accepting this fate,” Ryker admitted, turning to face his audience. “This was the last thing I’d wanted in life. What I had wanted was to be proud of being alive. I can’t remember the last time I was proud of myself. The moment I got into that school I wanted to die. This is the worst life anybody could get. I wish there was something to make it better. I wish there was something to make me proud of being in this. Clearly, there isn’t. This is the worst life you could ask for. I’d rather be six feet under.”
Zalen was taken aback by the sincerity in Ryker’s voice. Ideas were forming in his head, emotions taking over. He ignored them, though. Instead he met Ryker’s gaze and asked a question he’d been dying to ask since the beginning of Ryker’s confession.
“What about a rebellion?”