Trembling Hands

Morning came sooner than I had an anticipated. The Arizona sun was blindingly bright through the open curtains. I rolled over a couple times failing to fall back asleep.

Surprisingly a warm chest and strong arms weren’t there to stop my tossing and tell me to be calm.

“Lorraine?” I groaned as someone called my name from the doorway. “So you are awake. That’s good.”

I scrunched my eyes together tighter. Maybe if I convinced myself I was sleep, whoever was talking to me would be convinced. “I’m not awake. Come back in two hours.” Unfortunately that never worked.

My body was thrown over a shoulder and bounced up and down as they obviously ran with me. John’s mom shouted something I couldn’t understand before the outside heat greeted my skin. I was still pleading with my head for this to be a dream and hadn’t opened my eyes. Soon hands gripped my hips and threw me away from their body.

I opened my icy eyes in time to be met with equally cold water. A quick scream passed my lips and my arms flailed a little bit before I sputtered up water and my body began to shiver. “I hate you guys.” I muttered and drug myself out of the pool. The clothes I wore to sleep were dripping wet.

Ross stood smiling and proud of himself right where he’d thrown me into the freezing water. He obviously took a page from his brother’s book. Speaking of the usual master mind, he was surprisingly nowhere to be seen. Of course, speak of the devil…

“What’s going on? I told you, no killing my girlfriend until…oh hey baby!” He smiled as he rubbed his wet hair with a towel. The boy was dressed in nothing but a pair of shorts hanging low on his hips.

“Do not ‘hey baby’ me, I know you were behind this.” I narrowed my eyes at him and ran a hand through my soaked hair. I kept up my glare as I took his towel and walked into the house.

“Rainy! Hey Rainy!” John caught me on the stairs and desperately tried to get my attention. “You’re not actually mad are you? I might have mentioned it would be funny, but I didn’t tell him to do it! Rainy, I’m sorry.” He reached for one of my hands and turned me around.

I took my head from his grasp swiftly and tried my best to look pissed. He sort of flinched when I brought my hands up. A laugh poured from my lips as I pressed my palms to his cheeks and kissed him quickly. “You’re silly,” Boys will be boys. At least I’m awake now.

I was almost to the bathroom to take a shower when John called out to me. “Rainy, I was planning on taking us to the lake if that’s cool. Then my mom is having some family over as a small welcome back thing.” I nodded in agreement and went off to get ready.

As much as I loved John’s family; “some family” was not what I was greeted with when we entered the house after being at the lake all day. My soon-to-be-dead boyfriend gave me a mousy smile and ran away to throw the beach bags upstairs. This left me to be thrown in with the sharks.

I hoped that entering the house had not drawn attention to us. Of course…they’d been waiting. As soon as John was gone they moved in.

“Oh Lorraine! You’re right on time sweetheart!” John’s mother soon had me in a bear hug and was dragging me around with an arm around my shoulder. “Come here honey, meet Granny and Grandpa O’Callaghan.” The sweet woman pushed me toward an elderly couple.

The older man moved in his chair and looked me up and down. He started with my short dark hair which was thrown in a messy ponytail. I could tell he saw the stud in my nostril. Even after noticing the plain tank top and jean shorts he gave me a smile and laughed. He reminded me of my own grandfather.

“How’d John get a hold of a doll like you?” He asked in that friendly gruff voice I completely expected. The man stood up and pulled me into a hug. “Keep him in line for us, ya hear?”

“I apologize for his lack of social manners darling. You feel free to call us Granny and Grandpa, okay?” The kind woman told me as she stood and hugged me as well. She stereotypically pinched my cheek and laughed. “You’re quite adorable, and from what I hear a lovely girl.” She gushed and continued to prod at me.

An arm slid over my shoulder a moment after. His familiar chuckle sent a wave a relief through my body. “Forgot to tell you to watch out for my Granny; she’s a pincher.” John laughed again before his Granny scolded him for not calling enough.

There was enough family here for it to be a reunion. It’d been an hour of aunts, uncles, cousins and random close family friends cycling through. Most congratulated John on the new album and the tour. Some teased John and joked with me about him. All of them were very nice.

I was currently speaking with John’s younger brothers. “The grossest part is when…” I faded off seeing the brunette male walking towards us. An exaggerated smile crossed my face and the three of us put our arms over each other’s shoulders.

“What’s gross?” He asked eyeing us with a suspicious look.

“Your face!” Ross shouted and broke up into laughter. I couldn’t help but let the contagious laugh get to me as well.

John rolled his eyes and chuckled a bit as well. “Real mature, you’re how old now?” The two siblings immaturely stuck their tongues out at each other before his attention turned back to me. “Can I steal you real quick?”

I nodded and took his hand as he led me away from the groups of people. “Thanks for telling me it was like family picnic day. By the way, I called Pat; we’re hanging with him tomorrow.” I told him crossing my arms.

He pecked my lips quickly and smiled. “It was a surprise and I know. I have my reasons just wait.” His hand grasped mine and he pulled me back out into the main room. John led me up two steps and went back to the ground level.

“Hey everyone! I know it’s getting late and you want to go home, but I’ve got one thing to do.”
Suddenly the entire attention was on the two of us. I felt more nervous than I ever have. John was grinning like a fool, I could tell without seeing his face. The more time I had to process this situation the more scared I became. What was he doing?

“So as I’m sure all of you know; this is my girlfriend Lorraine. She’s the fabulous fashion designer that makes sure I don’t look like an idiot.” One of his cousins shouted something from the back. My mind was too blurred with thoughts to process anything except what John was saying.

He turned and looked up me with his big green eyes. “Lorraine, you’ve been my rainy day in the drought since the day we met.”

I could feel my heart stop. Not in the good way either. Terror ran through my veins with every word he spoke.

“I know you’re containing the fact that I sprung this thing on you and you want to tear my head off. I’ve been waiting for this though. I want you to know I am in this for real.” He pulled out a little box that made me ready to run away. “We’re young and stupid, but I promise I’m always going to be here for you. I promise I love you. Please accept my promise.”

He held the box out to me. The whole room held their breath. I was shaking. Part of me wanted to run away as fast as I could. The other part of me was already passed out. The hopeful spark in his beautiful eyes was slowly fading and fear was overtaking it.

What was I doing? I loved John.

I loved Alex at one point…look what I did to him.

No, I was a different person. Where did my guts go? I was strong enough to accept someone.

Slowly I reached out and open the little box. Hesitantly I lifted the lid to see what was inside. My eyes opened from a blink that lasted hours to me. What I saw almost gave me another heart attack.

I laughed. The room looked in a state of shock as I stood there laughing like I was a lunatic. My nerves had caught up with me now. I picked the chain out of the box. On the end was an elephant wearing a ring around its neck.

My bright eyes looked down at John’s smiling face. “I thought you’d like that.” That was all he said before scooping me off the stairs and embracing me tightly. After a confused moment for the room, he set me down again. “Let me help you with that.” John latched the chain around my neck and let it hang at my collar bone.

Everyone finally understood; to some extent. It didn’t take long after that for everyone to leave. John’s parents had gone to sleep. I was sitting on his bed as he dug through his closet for clothes. A shirt was tossed at me over his back before he walked over himself.

“Did I scare you?” He asked placing his hands on either side of my hips. His lips were on mine softly as he chuckled a bit.

Very purposely I bit his lip before he pulled away. “Fuck you O’Callaghan.” I stated as I got up to take off my shirt and shorts. My hand reached for the shirt he’d tossed at me. He quickly grabbed it and held it behind his back.

“You loved it.” John smiled as he continued to toy with me. “Tell me you loved it and I’ll give you the shirt.”

My eyes narrowed as I took a step towards him. “Give it to me, John.” A coy smile just tugged at his lips as he turned to keep his back covered. Trying to be swift I grabbed at the shirt, but only ended up falling into him. John fell backwards onto the bed as my weight suddenly hit him.

“Come on, seriously.” He sighed and gave me that look. The look meant I actually had to talk to him and not just tiptoe around the subject. He brought the shirt up and slid it over my body for me.

“You’re nineteen; you don’t want to talk about this.” I retorted trying to find a way out of this talk.

“You’re twenty; you’re afraid to talk about this.” He responded before trying to get comfortable on the bed. He leaned up against the wall and placed me sideways on his lap. His fingertips ran smoothly across the skin on my exposed legs. “Please?”

“John, why would you do that? Especially with literally all of your family watching?” I asked him as my hand subconsciously went to play with chain around my neck.

He wrapped his arms around me gently. “Letting my family know how much I love you is terrifying to me. So I thought maybe it’d help you realize there’s nothing you need to be scared of. Not with me.” He whispered and nuzzled his head into my neck.

“I don’t know if I can accept this John…” I told him still holding the jewelry he’d given me around my neck.

“It’s just a necklace…” He frowned and picked the elephant off of my skin and looked it over again.

I took his face in my hands and looked at him. “It means more than that though. I’m sorry I’m the way I am.”

John kissed my lips softly and pulled me into his chest. “I love you the way you are.” He rocked us a bit before looking down at me again. “I can’t take a promise back. It’s forever.”