I'll Be Waiting up Counting the Stars

It had been weeks since the wedding and I couldn't get beautiful off my mind. This wasn't me, either. Usually I found girls hot, but then I just forgot about them in a few days, but not her. She seemed really special. Everything about her just captivated me.

That gave me second thoughts, though. There she was, this amazing girl who seemed broken in a way, yet she appeared so put together, and I'm just an asshole who would probably end up hurting her. Fuck 'probably', I would definitely end up hurting her.

"Austin? What's up with you?" Alex asked.

We were at our first family dinner since she got married. I'd been debating whether or not to ask her about Janie, but at this point I'm desperate. What did she mean when she said we'd never work out? How did she know? Why wouldn't she even try? She seemed to like me up until that point.

"Hey, what's up with that Janie girl from your wedding?" I asked casually as I took a drink of my beer.

"Janie? Why do you want to know?" She asked defensively.

"I was just wondering. We were talking and she kinda ran away from me." I shrugged even though I was dying to know more.

"Don't worry about it. You're not her type." She snapped from across the table.

"And why not?" I asked, getting a little pissed.

"What are you guys talking about?" Charlie asked from next to me.

"How Austin needs to forget about Janie." She answered.

"Why? Is she a hoe?" He asked with a laugh.

"Seriously, don't talk about her like that. She's been through so much more than either of you and she deserves a nice guy." She retorted angrily.

"I can be a nice guy." I said.

"You can't be a good man, Austin. It's just not you. She needs someone grown up who has their life together." She said. "She can't be in a relationship with a guy like you."

"A guy like me? I'm your brother, Alex!" I cried, a little hurt that my sister was judging me like this.

"How many girlfriends have you cheated on?" She asked.

"Fuck you." I spat before standing up and walking out of the house. I slammed the door behind me and stood in the driveway next to my car. I pulled out my cigarettes and lit one up before taking a long drag to calm myself down.

Who was she to say that? I can change. I could be a good man. I could make a girl fall in love with me and treat her well.

I stomped my cigarette out and got in my car.

I was driving along the road when I noticed a car pulled over with its flashers on. I looked inside and grinned. Fate must want to fuck me.

I pulled over in front of the car and hopped out. I leaned down and looked into the little Mazda, and I was met with beautiful's gorgeous hazel eyes. She rolled down the window and gave me a small smile.

"Hi." She greeted softly.

"Hey sweetheart. Need a lift?" I asked with a smirk at how embarrassed she looked.

"I'm waiting for a tow truck." She sighed.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked, looking at my watch. Alex got off work hours ago.

"About three hours." She told me.

"What the fuck? Why are they so late?" I cried.

"I don't know, but there's nothing I can do." She frowned. She looked really upset and nervous. I could tell she just wanted to go home. She probably hadn't eaten yet and she still looked tired.

"Tell you what, I'll take you home and come back here to wait for the tow. How does that sound?" I asked.

"You don't have to do that, Austin." She said as she ran a hand through her dark auburn hair.

"I want to. Come on, I won't try anything." I grinned.

"Okay." She laughed. She grabbed her purse and got out of the car.

She looked really hot in a businesswoman kind of way. She had a teal button up shirt on with a few buttons undone and a black pencil skirt that hugged her hips perfectly.

"So, how have you been?" She asked as she got in my car and fastened her seatbelt.

"Fine. How about you?" I asked.

"I've been okay." She replied.

"Have you?" I asked.

She looked at me and just nodded.

"You can talk to me, Janie." I offered.

"I know. I'm fine, really." She assured me. She was lying.

"How was work? Did you do 'Toby' stuff?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Yep, lots of Toby stuff." She smiled.

"So, tell me, if you didn't want to be a Human Resources manager as a little girl, what did you want to be?" I asked, trying to cheer her up a little bit.

"Well, it's kind of stupid but I wanted to do something with tv. I love watching tv, it's actually like an obsession. When I was pr- nevermind. But, yeah, I love it." She rambled.

"No, that's cool. I love tv too. What did you want to do, like be an actress?" I asked.

"I don't know, kind of but I'd never be able to. I have the worst stage fright." She admitted.

"Stage fright is just a state of mind, darlin'." I grinned.

"It's more than that to me. I don't know what I'm afraid of, it's just scary." She frowned.

"I'll break you of it. That's a promise."

"Okay, sure." She smirked sarcastically.

"I don't break my promises." I stated proudly.

"Yeah, well, I don't quite believe people who say that anymore." She murmured.

The conversation ceased after that. What was wrong with her? Why wouldn't Alex tell me anything?

Janie

So cute.

God, he was so cute.

It halfway depressed me that we could never be together. But he said it himself, he didn't want to settle down. I couldn't make a guy like that change his life for me. He was out partying every night while I was home reading bedtime stories. He was taking shots while I was stealing sips of grape juice. He was buying condoms and I was buying coloring books.

We led two different lives and those paths couldn't cross.

"Well, here you are beautiful." He said as he pulled up to the curb.

"Thank you, really. You don't know how much I appreciate this. I'd stay and talk but I really need to get inside. Oh! And when the tow truck comes, give them this." I said as I fished a paper out of my purse.

"Your call was recalled?" He asked.

"Yeah, I kept meaning to get it into the shop but I couldn't which reminds me that I need to call Alex for a ride in the-"

"I'll pick you up. I'll be here at 7:30 sharp." He promised.

"I don't know..." I sighed, after I thought about I realized I didn't really have a choice. "Okay, look I really have to get inside. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again, so much. You're great, Austin."

"Don't worry about it, baby. We're friends." He grinned.

I just smiled, genuinely and walked up into the house.

"Mama!" A little voice squealed right before two little arms wrapped around my legs.

"Hi Janie." Tina, the babysitter, said.

"Hi, sorry I'm so late. The tow truck still wasn't there when I left." I apologized as I picked Jack up and gave him a kiss.

"It's fine, he was a little angel. Who picked you up?" She asked.

"Um, my friend's brother." I answered nervously.

"Oh, love connection?" She asked with a laugh.

"No, nothing like that. Hey, I should get the little one to bed soon. There are two extra twenties in my purse for you." I said.

"No, he was fine. I'll see you later."

"No, please take it. It's the least I could do." I said as I adjusted my son in my arms.

"Goodbye." She sang as she walked out the door.

"Bye Tina! Thank you!" Jack called. I laughed at his manners.

"I'm sorry I was late, honey. My car was grumpy." I told him as I kicked my shoes off. "How was your day? Was daycare fun?"

"Yeah, we played bowling again and Wayne brought in a airplane that him and his daddy made and his daddy helped me make one out of paper and he played with us for a little bit before they went home and Tina got me a happy meal for dinner and it was really yummy." He rambled.

I frowned at his mention of Wayne's father. He wanted a dad so badly. I couldn't blame him. When I first found out I was pregnant I was 19 and dating a great guy. He promised to be with me through everything, and then one day I came home from school and him along with all his stuff was gone. I haven't heard from him since.

I thought really hard about giving Jack up for adoption. I didn't think I could take care of him, but when he was born I couldn't give him away. I loved him too much.

Ever since then I've been working my butt off to make sure he has everything he needs. Except a dad. I never brought guys around him unless they were my brothers. I didn't want him to get attached to somebody who wasn't going to be there for him. Austin was just that. He would probably be great with Jack for a few days, but then he would just end up leaving. I couldn't let him do that to my baby.

"Mama, I want you to get a boyfriend." He said suddenly.

"Sweetie, you're the only guy I need." I chuckled before kissing him on the cheek.

"Mama, everybody needs a partner." He argued. I laughed at how grown up he sounded.

"We'll talk about it later, honey. Now go get ready for bed." I said before kissing his forehead again. "Baby, do you feel okay? You've got a fever." I said before putting my hand to his forehead.

"My stomach is a little queazy, but Tina gave me ginger ale and said I'd be okay." He smiled.

"Okay, but if you feel sick come get me." I told him. He simply nodded and walked into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

I leaned up against the wall of my house and sighed. I tried so hard to be a good mom, but I couldn't give him what he needed most. A dad.