Shadow of the Swastika

At the crack of sunrise, a Gestapo officer stormed into our cabin, screaming at us to “wake the hell up, you filthy maggots”, to which Terji and I nearly scrambled out of our bunks and were pushed to the main hall for what we were forced to call “breakfast”. Without hesitation, I started shoving the food into my mouth, despite how gross it looked. I needed the energy and strength to make it through the day. Terji, on the other hand, simply stared at it and picked a weevil bug out of his soggy oatmeal.

“Disgusting,” he gagged, immediately flinging it off of his finger and wiping his hand on his pants.

I turned to him, spitting out the remains of a dead horsefly that had found its way into my bread and took his hand in mine, squeezing it. “Terji, you know you’re going to have to eat eventually.” I whispered, gulping down the small glass of water in front of me. “You need a full stomach.”

He paused again, cringing at the rotten food before eventually taking a spoonful of the oatmeal and eating it. I saw the grimace grow until it spread across his whole face, but to my surprise, he kept eating. Feeling better about the situation, I was able to let go of Terji’s hand and finish my own food.

We were, shorter after, pushed outside and each tossed a dirty shovel, and ordered to start digging. For what reasons were unclear to me at first, but then again, I had heard the rumors about what they were supposed to be for.

I tried not to give it a second thought as I dug the blade into the dirt, scooping up mounds of soil and throwing it over my shoulder, making a growing pile. Already I could feel the sweat start to trickle down my forehead. But I couldn’t give up. I wouldn’t give up. Not while I still had hope and a life to live ahead of me.

Though my heart shattered when a boy across from me on the other side of the forming pit stopped digging, looking like he was about to collapse from exhaustion.

One half of me demanded I scream to him, ‘Don’t stop! You can’t stop digging or else you’ll die!’

But the other half knew better than that. If I even opened my mouth to attempt speaking out of turn, I’d be shot. So as much as I shouted to myself to go and help him, I swallowed the thought in the pit of my stomach, realizing I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do.

I could only shut my eyes and turn away, cringing as I heard the gunshot.

Terji gave me a look of sympathy, as if reading my mind and knowing how I felt. There was no doubt in my mind that he felt the same, but knew he could do nothing to help. I returned his gaze, trying not to let the tears fall from my eyes. I’d be shot if I cried. So all I did was swallow the lump in my throat and continued to dig.

Some time later, I had seen several people throw up from the grueling work, but still kept going. I had watched dozens of others stop or fall over, to which they were shot and killed. I thanked the gods that Terji and I weren’t one of those people. In both situations.

Hours had passed, and eventually, we were told to stop digging, and if we were in the pit, to find a way out. Our work had formed a twenty by twenty foot chasm that easily towered over even the tallest person out of all of us. Terji was reasonably tall, but you would have to take two of him to meet up with the rim of this hole.

Everyone struggled at one point or another to attempt climbing out. No one could help each other. It would mean being shot.

So when I was unsuccessful at getting myself out for at least six times, when the backs of all the Gestapo were turned away from me, I felt a strong hand grasp mine and immediately pull me up and out of the pit before anyone could see.

It was Terji.

I silently thanked him, turning my head away from the nine people that were still in the hole. When five minutes passed, and they couldn’t get themselves out, they were shot.

This wasn’t even the worst of what was yet to come, and already, I had seen twenty people killed. More than I had ever seen in a day. More than even in a week or month. This was going to take some getting used to…

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“What are you thinking about?” Terji asked me, leaving his bunk to crawl up to mine. My gaze was transfixed out of the makeshift, axe-cutout square window by my head, watching another round of black smoke coughing up from a nearby crematorium.

The death toll had risen to fifty now, today.

“…why this horrible reality even exists.” I finally answered. “Why we have to be punished and tortured and even killed for something we never even did.” A lone tear slipped from my left eye. “Why humanity is turning into massive tyranny.”

The blonde male placed a hand on my shoulder as he joined me in staring out at the sky. “I’m as clueless as you.” He spoke, biting his bottom lip. His eyes appeared almost glazed over. Had he been crying earlier?

“But we both know that we can’t do anything about it. None of us prisoners can do anything. We’re powerless.”

To those words, I averted my gaze to my hands, which were covered in mud and grime from today’s earlier work. Already I could see blisters forming.

Then, a thought struck me.

“… but the allies aren’t.”

“Huh?”

I turned to face Terji, grabbing his hands in mine and looking him dead in the eye. The epiphany I encountered had to be voiced. “The allies. They don’t follow Germany. They’re not under the spell of this country’s intimidation.” I squeezed his hands tighter. “America will come to help us. Russia, Britain, even China! We could be free and not have to worry about this wretched environment any longer!”

The look on his face was at first, of disbelief, combined with childish excitement, but it seemed to vanish as soon as it appeared. He shook his head.

“As wonderful as that sounds, it’s surely impossible.” He told me. “There’s no way that the allies would find out. The Germans are finding ways to cover up the real form of what these camps are really like. No one outside the country suspects a thing.”

My once proud smile faltered into a frown. He was right… Germany was known for foolproof master plans of this sort.

“But that doesn’t mean they won’t find out sooner or later.” I quipped. “As frighteningly intelligent as the Germans are, their ideas can’t be kept up for long. Someone’s bound to notice something sooner or later.”

Terji almost laughed, slipping his hand into mine. “You’re one of a kind, Kalle.” He spoke. “Bright, imaginative, hopeful… though, perhaps almost too hopeful.”

I shrugged tentatively. “It’s hope that’s gotten me this far. And maybe, hope that will get us out of here.”

Again, his smile returned. “I only wish I was as optimistic as you. Then maybe I’d be able to believe you... somewhat…”

“You will, eventually.” I replied, bidding him goodnight before he crawled back to his bunk and the light of the lantern was blown out. “You will, eventually.”

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