60 Things Not to Do at Hogwarts

“Piper, are you sure this is a good idea?” Cedric asked, his expression completely filled with worry, even though the rule she was planning on breaking wasn’t even that bad. She smiled at him, and gave him a long hug, before they left the common room, heading to the Grand Hall for breakfast.

“Oi!” Drew yelled across the room, and sprang out of her seat, coming quickly to meet up with them as they walked to the Hufflepuff table. Cedric gave Piper’s hand a squeeze, and left go, moving to go take a seat with his friends Max and Ian.

“We’re going through with operation ‘Light Up the Dungeon’.” Piper informed the Scot quietly, making sure no one was listening in on their conversation. Drew’s eyes danced with excitement at this new found information, and Piper smiled warily, knowing this would be the start of a revolution. A Hogwarts revolution. Drew nodded, and went back to her own table, and Piper walked to the far side of the room, since the Hufflepuff table was furthest from the door, except for Slytherin’s.

“Here comes trouble,” Someone at the end of the table coughed, and Piper turned and smiled as she saw who it was. Justin Finch-Fletchley trying hard not to laugh, and Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott couldn’t help them selves, and burst out in laughter.

“Is that so Buttercup?” Piper asked, grinning at the three friends that had been nicknamed after the Powerpuff girls. Justin looked up at her and finally started laughing. She bid them all good morning, and moved to the end of the table.

“Morning,” Zacharias Smith said, moving over to give her a spot across from Cedric. He looked at her expectantly, and she winked, before smiling, thinking of the havoc about to come her way.

---

The Weasley Twins were about to get a run for their money.

Drew grinned to herself as she hurried down the hall while trying not to draw too much attention to herself. Hurrying was an understatement, however, since the twenty-two pounds of fireworks hidden within the folds of her robes seemed to be weighing her down quite a bit.

“Ba-da bum!” Drew sang to herself as she prowled the corridor. Theme music was a must for Operation: Light Up The Dungeon, and she wasn’t about to let the opportunity to treat the situation like a James Bond movie to slip from her.

“Going somewhere, McGreggor?”

At first, Drew’s stomach about fell from her behind. Caught in the act, she thought in anguish, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to think up a makeshift excuse for why she’d ditched breakfast early that morning. Her hopes returned to their usual, higher-than-average state, though, when she turned and was graced with the tall figure of a blonde boy leaning casually against the wall.

“Malfoy,” she greeted with a smirk. “I should have known you’d be…lurking.”

The fellow Slytherin hottie laughed and shrugged. “It’s what I do,” he excused, allowing Drew a small smile. “You look like you’re up to something,” he observed, watching the brunette intently. “Care to share?”

Drew popped a brow. Could she trust the boy? She’d gone from being the friendless transfer student to BFF’s with a Hufflepuff in less than twenty-four hours. What bad could one more friend do? And hell, he was damn sexy. Eye candy is the best inspiration, she thought gleefully to herself. So, with a smirk, she neared the boy.

“Here’s the plan.”

---

“Piper, I want to go with you, in case anything happens.” Cedric whispered to her once they had arrived in the Dungeons, sitting down closer to the back, glad Snape hadn’t decided to grace the students with his presence yet. Piper rolled her eyes slightly, but smiled at her worried boyfriend.

“I’m sure Drew wouldn’t mind, but we are going to have to do something drastic to get out of class..” She said, trailing off as thoughts of how to be excused formed in her head.

“Today, I have brought in some Truth Serum I have been working on for a while, and since today signals the final day of the full-moon cycle, I am going to give each pair a tiny vial, and it is up to you to complete it.” Snape said in his bored tone, before writing ‘Incomplete = Fail’ on the board, and everyone visibly became serious, not wanting to flunk 3rd Year Potions.

“I have an idea,” Cedric said, his mouth only a couple inches away from Piper’s ear. He winked at her, before adding the wolfs pane, and Jobber feather. Piper took the tiny vial, and gave three distinctive shakes, before popping off the cap, and tasting it, as Snape so instructed. Cedric raised his eyebrows at her slightly, and Piper got the hint, instead of taking one drop as instructed, she accidentally swallowed half the vial, before smiling at the tingling sensation in her veins.

“Testers please come to the front of the room,” Snape instructed a minute later, everyone having tried their hardest. The teacher threw questions at all the students, before coming to Piper, who had stood at the end of the line.

“Good morning Prof.” She said, grinning at the basically-emo Professor. He sneered at the happiness, before turning to look at the rest of the class.

“Ms. Harris, did you brush your teeth this morning?” He asked, using one of the questions he had asked a couple of the other students, leading to embarrassment for those that answered ‘no’. Piper took a deep breath, having no idea how she was going to answer, but the babble that came out of her mouth sufficed.

“Actually, Severus Snape, S.S., was your father into fishing? Hm, yeah, not likely. I’d hate to have the name Severus… Back to the question though, I did, in fact, brush my teeth, you see. When I was younger, I was cursed with imperfect teeth, which resulted in braces. Although I never had headgear like Hannah Abbot does,” Everyone quietly laughed at the start of her speech, and then all eyes turned to a blushing Hufflepuff seated near the front of the room, currently headgear-free, considering it was only required at night time.

“That is quite enough Ms. Harris, Diggory, let me see your vial.” Snape demanded, before ignoring Piper’s laughing boyfriend and using his wand to call the half-empty vial to himself. His eyes widened at the missing amount, before looking at Piper curiously. “Diggory, escort your ill-fated partner to Madam Pomfrey, no sidetracks.” He stated, and Cedric was quick to grab her arm, before securing a hand over her mouth, and apologizing to the still-blushing Hannah.

---

“Aren’t they supposed to be here by now?” Draco asked, checking his watch impatiently as Drew bent over the mound of explosions, her work expertly precise.

“Don’t worry,” Drew assured him. “They’ll be here.” And no sooner had she said it, the Slytherins heard two sets of footsteps hurrying down the hall.

“We’re here,” Cedric announced, his girlfriend trailing close behind. “We had to try and get out of class,” he stated, before giving Drew a parental-type glance. “Unlike some of us.”

“What can I say?” Drew grinned, shooting her three peers a sneaky wink. “I’m an ultimate badass.”

“Who obviously doesn’t know what a belt is,” Piper commented, snickering as she pointed towards the frilly panties peeking up over the waistband of her jeans. Drew scrambled to conceal her undergarments and she could already feel the rare hue of embarrassment tinting her cheeks pink. “But don’t worry,” Piper assured her friend. “It’s not like Malfoy wasn’t enjoying it.” Piper nodded towards the Slytherin, who was now drowning in his own puddle of embarrassment.

Drew shot Cedric a “what’s gotten into her” look, to which Cedric replied, “Snape had us complete truth potions today in class.” The explanation was enough for Drew to connect two-and-two.

“Yeah,” Piper added, “You’d think the bloke could take a break from his work long enough to shower. By God, if only he’d have taken the damn potion and I could’ve been the one asking if he’d brushed his teeth this morning-”

With a laugh, Drew dismissed Piper’s truthful banter and returned to her work. Just a tweak here and a connected wire there and- With finality, Drew sat back on her haunches and smiled upon her work adoringly.

“Showtime.”

---

“Brooms?” Draco asked, looking oddly at the two grinning witches. Piper rolled her eyes, still heavily under the effects of the truth serum.

“Do you have a mental disorder? My three-year old cousin could recognize that and he just got out of diapers.” She said, not realizing the insult laced in between her honest opinion. The blonde narrowed his eyes, and took a couple steps towards the only other blonde in attendance.

“I suggest you stop talking before something unfortunate happens,” Draco warned, the blunt threat throwing a confused expression on Piper’s face. She took a step back, watching as Cedric took a defensive step in front of her, standing tall, glaring at the Slytherin.
“I suggest you stop threatening my girlfriend before something unfortunate happens to your face.” He replied, completely out of his easy-going character.

“Oh yah, and who’s going to give me that beating? Not pretty-boy Diggory of course.” Draco’s eyes gleamed, seeing as he had the upper hand.

“Oh trust me, I see nothing wrong with physically invo-” Drew let out a long, high-pitched whistle between two fingers, before stepping in the middle of them, placing a hand roughly on each other their chests.

“Oh shut the fuck up you bunch of whiners. Now let’s get in the air before anyone has time to stop us.” She demanded in her Scottish accent, bringing both guys out of their little verbal joust.

Cedric and Draco got on the brooms first, the girls seemed a little more relieved knowing both boys were Seekers, therefore they knew how to ride a broom smoothly. Drew used her wand to levitate half the fireworks, before sitting in front of Draco, almost side-saddle, and gripping the broom firmly with her free hand. The blonde rolled his eyes, before gripping the wrist that was clutching to the broom, and placing the arm around his neck, pulling Drew closer to himself, and placing his arm around the side of her, where he grabbed the wood, before kicking off the ground powerfully, and lifting the pair into the hallway. He led the broom through the huge open window, and out into the court-yard, where they hovered until they saw Cedric and Piper appear, in a similar position, Piper obviously being less strangely, and gladly pushing up against her boyfriend’s chest, her arm wrapped securely around his neck, as she twirled a couple strands of hair at the base of his neck.

“READY?” Cedric yelled, and Piper and Drew both moved their levitating piles of firework’s together, and Drew counted down from three, ending on one as the clock tower signaled the end of first period, and the halls filed just as a loud BANG sounded throughout the school.

---

“Boom! Boom! Boooom!” Drew cheered happily, clapping her hands for emphasis while trying not to topple off the edge of the broom as she did so.

Draco chuckled heartily from behind her as the two listened to the shocked screams seep through the walls of Hogwarts. The thrill racking the Scot’s body was enough to serve as its own exploding mechanism.

“Bloody hell!” Piper squealed from her own broom, where she sat tangled with Cedric. “That was bloody awesome!”

“Aye, ye should’ve seen it from this angle,” Drew mentioned, leaning thoughtfully back into Draco as she spoke.

“So,” Piper continued, watching with amusement as a few of the students booked it out of the school. “What’s next?”

Drew grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”