If It Hurts This Much,Then It Must Be Love

There was no surprise when I opened my front door and saw Alice with a wide grin spread on her face. It was 3.30 PM, exactly 2 and a half hour before JC picked me up as he always did when we wanted to go out. It had been like that since 8th grade and had been our ‘tradition’.

“I thought you’re going out with Eric!”, I narrowed my eyes as I let her into the foyer and closed the door behind me. She kicked her shoes off and went barefoot into the house. It was some sort of my thing to keep the floor clean at all time.

Alice shrugged. “I think helping you get ready for your date with JC is a lot more fun than hanging with Eric. Besides, him and I got all night tomorrow.”

I shuddered at the thought of what they would do tomorrow night and just followed her to my bedroom. Alice quickly dragged me into my closet and sat me down on a beanbag I placed in the corner as she rummaged through the racks of tops, skirts, jeans and my other clothes. “So, what do you plan to wear?”

“This?”, I motioned to what I was wearing; a simple baseball tee and shorts. Alice widened her eyes and rolled them after it. “What? It’s just another movie night with JC, and it’s not a date.”

“Come on, Amely.”, She whined. “This is the night before graduation, it’s totally different.”

“In which angle?”

“Please.”, she scoffed. “Everyone in this universe knew that JC has a thing for you but he’s too wimp to just confess it and you’re too dim to realize it.”

“If I’m dim, I wouldn’t graduate with a solid 4.5 GPA, right?”, I grinned at her. Even though she had her back on me, I could tell she was blowing raspberries. I walked out from the closet and just plopped onto the bed and looked up to the ceiling. When I first moved into this house, I had the boys in JC’s band and himself helped me up with my stuff. It was a long day because most of them goofed off and I even wrestled JC out on the trampoline.

There were glow in the dark plastic stars stuck onto the ceiling, which were a ‘Welcome-To-Your-New-House’ present from Chris. After the others got home, JC and I jumped on my bed while sticking them up on the ceiling. “Here we go!”, Alice exclaimed with arms full of clothes as she walked out from the closet.

I sat up on my bed and examined the clothes she brought. Tank tops? Mini skirts? What was she thinking? “I’m going to a movie, not a club.”, I muttered while picking up my see through tank top that needed another tank top inside it.

“Oh come on. I picked out some not see through clothes.”, she winked and gave me my pink tank top with zebra strikes on it. “See?”

“Fine.”, I surrendered because the zebra one was my favorite. “But I get to wear jeans for this.”
***************
When the hour hand of the clock stroke 6, I could hear a car went up to my driveway. Alice peeked out from behind the curtain and squealed. I knew it was JC. After getting off from the recliner, I slipped into my shoes before telling Amy to not trash my house while I was gone.

“Hey.”, I smiled over to him after getting out the front door. JC was on his way to ring the doorbell, but it wasn’t necessary. I couldn’t help but smile at his attire; checkered shirt with his grey jacket, skinny jeans and sneakers. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I liked how he dressed.

“Hey.”, he replied back. “You look… great.”

I shrugged and walked down the steps before tugging him by his arm to his car. “Come on. Alice is playing the ‘creepy mom who spied on her daughter’s date from the window’ roll.”

JC looked over to the window from his shoulder before laughing. We got to his car and I got into the passenger seat after he opened it for me. “Wow, a new thing.”, I teased before sliding in. The weirdest thing was I could see him blushing when I teased him.

After he got into the driver seat and we drove out from the driveway, I took his iPod and scrolled through the artists to choose what song we were going to listen to first. My choice landed on Blink 182 for a starter. I quickly pushed the play button on ‘All The Small Things’. The music quickly filled the car and I could see JC was grinning.

“All the small things
True care, truth brings
I'll take one lift
Your ride best trip
Always, I know
You'll be at my show
Watching, waiting, commiserating”, I sang with all of my heart. I looked over to him, motioning him to sing the next part.

“Say it ain’t so, I will not go
Turn the lights off, carry me home”, he sang while still driving. We did the ‘Na, Na, Na…’ part together before bursting into laughter.

“You know this is our song.”, he laughed and looked over to me. We just looked at each other before I looked away. It wasn’t that far to the cinema and when we got there, we parked right behind the building.

The inside of the cinema wasn’t that crowded because most of the people our age preferred going to clubs instead of watching a movie. When we were queuing behind a couple that looked like they were still in high school, we looked up to the boards that showed what movies were playing now. “What do you want to see?”, he asked me.

“I don’t know…”, I trailed off while my eyes were still examining the movie posters above. “How about Kung Fu Panda?”

JC looked to the poster first and then smiled. “Sure.” We finally got to the locket and got our tickets. “Do you want any snacks?”

“You know me!”, I grinned and quickly dragged him to the snacks counter. “Let’s test your memory. What are my all-time favorite movie snacks?”, I smirked over to JC.

He smirked back before leaning on the glass counter. “Hi, can we have a large butter pop corn, two strawberry slushies and some Twix please?”

When the guy behind the counter walked away to get our snacks, I clapped my hands quietly and JC bowed down like a maestro after his performance. “Impresive.”

“Well, you always order those when we watch a movie, not an exception of home movies.”
After we got our snacks, we went into the theater and there weren’t that much people inside. There were just some couples who I could bet chose this movie so they could make out and a family with two little kids, jumping on the velvet seats because they were so excited to see the movie. How ironic.

JC and I picked the middle seats and quickly settled in right before the theater got dark. When the movie started, we concentrated into it so deeply and ate our popcorn in silent. I had my legs pulled up onto my chest and without any intention, I leaned towards JC. Our shoulders bumped but I kept my eyes on the screen. When the movie got to the part where Po had to fight the villain alone and when he found out that the goose wasn’t his dad, a tear fell down from my eye. “Amely? Are you okay?”

“What?”, I hiccupped and wiped my eye. “It’s so sad. Po loves his dad!”

His eyes were wide at first but then he smiled and snaked his arm around my shoulder. “It’s just a movie.”

“Fuck you, you’re not sensitive.”, I muttered and went back to the movie. It wasn’t long until the movie was done and the lights were on again. I had a bar of Twix in my mouth while the other one was in JC’s.

“That was great.”, he grinned and looked at me. “You’re not crying anymore, right?”

I shook my head and stuck my tongue out to him. “Are we still going to hang at John’s?”

“Sure, if you want to.”

We quickly got to the car and drove out from the parking lot. The drive to John’s place wasn’t that far either and now, I chose Fall Out Boy and shuffled them. ‘I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Getting You Off’ came on.

“Last year's wishes
Are this year's apologies
Every last time I come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two
I only keep myself this sick in the head
Cause I know how the words get you

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bullet proof loneliness
At best, at best”, I muttered to the song and when I was about to sing the chorus, JC started to sing.

“Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you”, he sang while peeking to me from the corner of his eyes. The words made my cheeks burned so I looked out to the window instead. The song kept going and got shuffled to other songs until we reached John’s.

The curb was packed with cars and I narrowed my eyes at the house that was filled with humans. “Is he throwing a party?”

“Shit.”, JC hissed as he turned off the ignition. “I never thought he would do it for real.”

“You know about this?”, I asked him. “You said we’re just gonna hang out!”

“I know! But John told me earlier that he might throw a party since all of us going to graduate tomorrow. I told him not to, but… guessed he didn’t listen.”

“Well, duh, captain obvious!”, I rolled my eyes and leaned back onto my seat.

We stayed in silent because I wanted to let JC dwelled in guilt. How could he bring me to a party? He said it would be just a simple hang out at John’s. Well, it wasn’t a secret those boys liked to party every weekend. I didn’t want to go in but looking at how guilty JC felt, I had to go. “Fine. We’re going in.”

“Really? Are you okay with it?”, his face lit up. I could see it wasn’t because he wanted me to go to the party, but it was more like he was glad I wasn’t mad at him.

I nodded. “But just for an hour. After that, you have to drive me home.”

He nodded vigorously before we both got out from the car and walked over to the house. There were people drinking outside at the front yard. The lawn already soaked from beer and puke. I made a mental note for not ever walking on the lawn anymore.

The inside of the house was dimmed and people seemed to pour out through the front door. JC had to held my hand as we pushed our way through the crowd. We found John and Donny in the kitchen, placing glasses of shots on the counter.

“Heya! Here they are! The happy couple!”, John sang and extended the ‘e’ on the couple when we walked in. His face was red and I could tell he was already drunk. Badly.

“Shut it.”, I growled and crossed my arms across my chest. “I guess we just need to count on you for throwing a pre-graduation party.”

“Hell yeah!”, John threw his arms to the air and making a face. I rolled my eyes and left the boys in the kitchen. It was a riot in the living room and I didn’t want to get ask to dance by some prick, so I decide to go upstairs, or more likely to the sun deck. After pushing my way through the ocean of people and up to the stairs where some couples were having sex right there, I got to the sun deck.

It was empty and there were two beach chairs settled, looking over to the neighborhood. I sat down on one oof them and leaned back onto the chair while taking the view in.

It wouldn’t be too long until I had to move to Arizona and couldn’t feel the chilly night wind of the east coast. When the wind blew through me again, my arms shuddered from the cold. Damn Alice for making me wear a tank top!

Suddenly, I felt a presence behind me and I looked over from my shoulder to see JC, standing a few feet behind with two red cups in his hand. “Figured I would find you here.”

“How’d you know?”, I asked as he sat down next to me and handled me the red cup. It was filled with warm dark liquid that turned out to be hot chocolate. How could he even make them in a party?

JC shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. You’re not the type of girl who likes to party and this is the only place that those people doesn’t know… so… yeah. Anyway, do you want my jacket? You look cold."

“Smart.”, I giggled and nodded before taking the jacket from JC and put it on. We fell into a silent and just taking in the view. I should tell JC about me moving to Arizona, but my tongue couldn’t string the words into a sentence.

“We’re still up for Florida, right?”, he asked me with a wide smile on his lips. I stuttered a bit and grew awkward to the question. Was he reading my mind?

“I-I… JC… You need—“, When I was about to finish my words, a loud noise flew up from the front yard and then, colorful bright flowers exploded in the sky. Our attention drew to the fireworks and we watched it with amazement. I was too caught up with it until I realized JC laced his fingers with mine. When I looked over to him, he pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened on his action but it was so hard to push him off.

I went along and placed the cup of hot chocolate under the chair carefully before placing my hands on his shoulders. It felt amazing, to be honest. It was different from other guys I’ve dated and kissed, but… I was kissing my best friend, dammit! It wasn’t supposed to be like this!

I pulled away and licked my lips a bit, trying to resist the temptation to do it again. “JC… What are we doing?”

“I-I… I thought it was the… right thing to do. You know… We…”, he trailed off.

I shook my head. “N-No… We’re friends… and… You… always love me just like a sister… I gotta go.”, I quickly got off from the chair and went downstairs, ignoring JC’s calls.