If It Hurts This Much,Then It Must Be Love

The first thing I remembered when I woke up was today was graduation day. I didn’t get that much sleep because what happened between JC and I last night lingered on my mind and behind my eyelids every time I tried to close them to get some sleep. Mom was already knocking on my door, telling me to get ready because it was 7 already, and the ceremony would start on 9. I was staying over my parents’ because they told me to. I slid out from the bed and took a quick cold shower before blow drying my hair. When I walked out from the bathroom, already dressed up in my dress, I found Chris sitting on my computer chair.

“Chris! You scared me.”, I rolled my eyes as I said sarcastically. “What are you doing here? And why are you suited up? I thought you graduated!”

“Well, I don’t want to miss my buddies’ graduation and I’m here to pick you up because JC bailed on the job.”

A lump rose in my throat when he mentioned JC. I actually already guessed he would bail on picking me up for graduation because of what happened last night, but I didn’t really thought he actually would do it. After I put on my shoes and accessories, Chris led me downstairs where my parents were already dressed and waited for me. They got into my dad’s car while I got into Chris’s because we had to get the others too. My parents were going straight to where the ceremony would be held in.

The carpool route was as usual; first, we picked up John because he was the nearest one from my house, then, Donny’s turn, and finally, JC’s. When JC got into the backseat with Donny and John, he kept quiet and I tried my best to not glance at him from the rear mirror or something. We got to our college building in 15 minutes, seeing so many cars and the other people that were in the same year as us with their families.

Donny, John, JC and I took our seats in the third row from the front meanwhile Chris and our parents took the seats where the families should be seated. It was awkward to sit next to JC but maybe it was best for me to ease the tension by starting a conversation with him. “You look really good today.”, I smiled at him.

He looked surprised because his eyes were widened but a moment later, they softened and a smile adorned his lips. “Thanks. You look really beautiful.”

Pink bursts crept onto my cheeks and suddenly, Alice showed up and sat down next to me, so I was sandwiched between her and JC. “Hey, guys.”, she greeted. “Sorry, I’m late.”

JC looked a bit disappointed, probably because he couldn’t talk a lot more with me because of Alice’s presence, but for my side, I was a bit relief she was here. The ceremony started with a speech from our dean, going on about how we finished our education and wishing us luck, whether we would continue our education or simply getting a job. “Now, I would like to announce the best graduate for this year. Please welcome, Amely Pennyworth!”

The audience of students and families suddenly clapped their hands when I hadn’t realized that he said my name as the best graduate. “It’s you, Ame! It’s you!”, Alice whispered excitedly as she tugged on my elbow, motioning me to stand up. I finally stood up and went up to the stage, shook the dean’s hand and stood on that podium. It was nerve wracking, but when I looked over to JC, he gave me a thumb up and a smile, sucking all of the nervousness I had inside.
**********
“You did amazing, sweetheart.”, mom gushed as we hugged. The ceremony was over and we all got our diplomas already. It was too hard to process that college was already over, even though I would be continuing to Arizona State University, but still, it was too hard to process. When we pulled away, I saw my cousin, John, behind my dad.

“John!”, I grinned and tackled him into a hug when in reality, I almost fell into his arms because I ran with wedges. “I missed you! When did you get here?!”

“I got right in time when you delivered your speech, you did amazing by the way. I missed you too.”, he chuckled and hugged me back. It had been too long since the last time I saw my cousin. The last time we met was two Christmases ago, when he stopped by our house in his tour with his band.

We pulled away and I saw Alice and the others were talking not too far from where I was. “Hold on, I need to catch up with my friends.”, I told John before dashing over to where my friends were.

“Amely! So proud of you, girl.”, John quickly engulfed me into one of his famous bear hugs when I was right in front of them. It was pretty confusing because he had the same name as my cousin. “We’re gonna party our faces off tonight.”

“Na-uh.”, I shook my head as we pulled away. “You’re gonna be the one who’s wasted.”

“Is that John?”, Alice asked with her eyes stuck on my cousin, who was talking and laughing with my parents. “He looks… hotter.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t tell me you still had a thing for my cousin. Come on, Al.”

“Well, I’m sorry, my boyfriend is away right now and look at your cousin! He’s practically a Greek god by standing there!”

“Anyway, are you guys coming to my place for lunch? My mom decided to make a small barbeque for celebrating graduation and John’s here anyway.”, I announced.

“Wait, I didn’t go anywhere.”, John, my friend, pointed to himself.

Alice and I rolled our eyes in unison. “Her hot cousin’s name is John too, dumbass.”, Alice retorted.
************
We all scattered around my family’s backyard, drinking, talking and laughing. John quickly buddy up with the guys and even Alice, even though I knew for sure she didn’t want to just ‘buddy up’. My dad was in front of the grill, with a little help from Chris, who he already thought like a family. I sat on the garden swing and swung back and forth slowly with a blank stare to the front.

Tonight, I would be leaving for Arizona with John and spend my summer there, settling in and fitting in. At first, my parents and John told me that I could still go with my friends to Florida and leave for Arizona in the middle of summer, but I thought it would make me harder to leave.

Suddenly, the swing rocked a bit, making me snapped out from my thoughts and looked to my side, finding JC sitting next to me. “Hey.”, he greeted.

I smiled as a reply and leaned back onto my seat. “Hey.”
“Why are you so sad? It’s graduation day and well, we already graduated.”

“I don’t know.”, I shrugged my shoulders. “JC, I need to tell you something.”

“Can I go first? Because I’m scared it would be rejection.”, he interrupted me. I looked over to him first and his eyes were pleading, so I couldn’t say no. I nodded as an answer. “I’m sorry about the kiss last night. I’m really sorry because I thought it was a smart thing to do. I actually really liked you, Amely, ever since we met, but I realize that you don’t feel the same as I do.”

I was about to say something when he stopped me. What he said was wrong. I did feel the same as he did, but he didn’t give me the chance to say it. “I love you, Amely, I really do, but now, I gave up.”, he stated before fishing out something from his pocket. “I did get you this, though, and I really hope you would wear it.”

It was a mini present box and when he opened it, there was a necklace with a star pendant. “Wow… You shouldn’t have.”

“No, no, just see this as a… friendly present.”, JC smiled as he gave it to me, not bothering to ask me if he could help me put it on. I really wanted to say about my feelings but it felt like my tongue was frozen, like it didn’t even let me to say anything.

Without anymore words, I put the necklace on, along with my key necklace. “JC… thank you.”, that were the words I could managed to get out.

He pulled me into a hug after that. “I know about your plans to Arizona.”, he whispered.
My back stiffened but his hand rubbed my back comfortingly, so it calmed back down. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I couldn’t.”

“It’s okay, Ame, I know it’s your dream to get higher education, it’s okay.”, he replied.

After that, we finished the lunch and took a picture. John took the picture of my friends and I because he thought it would be like a farewell present. I announced my departure to my other friends. Even though they were pretty disappointed, but they supported me anyway. They went back home because they said they wanted to accompany me to the airport later on.

John drove me home because I needed to load my things to the U-Haul truck that was waiting in front of my house. Even though John and I would fly over to Arizona, my things would be in the truck that a hired driver would bring over there. We finished loading in an hour and I changed my clothes because it was almost the time our flight would take off.

While I change, the star necklace kept dangling from my neck and I just ignored the rush feeling from it. After I was done, I gave the now empty room a last look before going downstairs where John was waiting with my hand luggage. “Ready, cous?”

“Ready.”

I, Amely Pennyworth, was ready for a new chapter of my life.