Here Without You.

The words on the gravestone keep burning into his mind. He doesn’t want to believe the name standing on it, but he knows eventually he has to.



Tears threatened to burst out again. He shut his eyes tightly to prevent it, but they fall anyway. It wasn’t her time, she was so young. Only 20 years old. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over it to find his best friend and band mate looking at him with compassion. They stand there for a while just looking at the young girls grave.

“It wasn’t her time Pierre.” David whispers. “She was so young...” he sniffs and wipes the tears away. Pierre sigh then rubs his friends shoulder looking down.

“I know David, but we can’t change time, what happened, happened, she wouldn’t want to see you like this. It would make her cry up in heaven.” Those words were so right. Jess wouldn’t want to see him like this. It would make her sad. She always said she hated to see him cry, she told him the last time he saw her alive in the hospital.

The doctor walks away from Jessica Desrosiers’s family after giving them the bad news that she is going to die; David hugs her mother, both crying unstoppable. A nurse walks out of Jess’s room and tells them that they can see her now; David walks with shakily steps into the room sitting down beside his young wife. She opens her eyes slightly and turns her head looking at him, bringing more tears to David’s eyes. She looks so fragile and pale. It doesn't look like the beautiful wife he married a half year ago. She reaches her thin arm up and wipes a tear away from his eyes.

“Don’t cry David, I hate seeing you cry. It makes me so sad” she whispers. He smiles slightly wiping his face with his arm and sniffs.

“How are you feeling babe?” she sigh closing her eyes then turns her head and looks at the ceiling.

“So tired David...” it brings pain to his heart seeing her like this, hearing her be so weak. He uses all the power left in him to not to cry anymore. Not in front of her. He smiles remembering something.

“Happy birthday babe...” she turns and looks at him and a small smile spreads on her lips, she reaches out and grabs his hand.

“Thanks David, I love you so much... Never forget that.” She tells him. He smiles and leans down kissing her forehead.

“I love you too...”

Tears start to fall again as he remembered the day he was told she was not going to survive, that he was going to live without her by his side. It’s only been a month since she died and left him so alone. It hurts him to know he’s never going to see her pretty face smile to him anymore, that he’s never going to hear her beautiful voice talk to him anymore. He sniffs again but can’t hold it in any more, his legs feels like jelly and he falls down not being able to hold himself up. The tears fall constantly and there’s no way to stop them. He has broken down, the first time since Jessica’s death.

Pierre bends down besides his friend and hugs him, not knowing what else to do. David used to be the happy guy no one could bring down, anyone beside his family has seen him cry. This is the first time Pierre sees David truly broken down and just letting it all out.

David keeps crying until he don’t have any more tears, he then sniffs and get up shakily and looks at his best friend. Pierre studies his face, trying to figure out what he’s going to do.

“Let’s go home.” David whispers, walking away from the grave. Pierre follows closely behind giving the grave one last glance before running up beside his best friend following his speed of walking. They walk back to the car and drive home in silence. What should have been told has already been said. And it would only make it worse for David if words about his wife’s death would be repeated. The magazines had already covered it all, and it had been unbearable for David to read it.

It’s hard to accept that your wife has died, and no one knew what the sickness was. She just suddenly got sick and the doctors couldn’t tell what was wrong, only that it got worse. She was always optimistic about it, right up to the day she slept peacefully. David had been there beside her, together with their daughter Mallorie.

That’s the only memory he has left of Jessica, their nearly 1 year old daughter. She didn’t understand any of it; she didn’t understand why her mom was lying in a hospital bed getting sicker everyday that went by. David didn’t know what to tell her, he couldn’t tell her that her mom wasn’t coming back. He knew that her grandmother had told her something about that her mom was sleeping and she couldn’t wake up anymore.

When David walks inside the house he used to share with Jessica, he hears his daughter giggle loudly, he follows her voice to find her in the living room playing with her uncle Jeff, and it brings a smile to David’s face seeing his daughter smile and happy. She reminds him so much of his beautiful wife. David walks over and picks her up; she looks at him and shrieks.

“DADA!!” he laughs hugging her into him bouncing her slightly.

“It’s time for a nap, Mall...” she nods slightly yawning. David walks up to her room and puts his child in her crib. She looks up at him with tired eyes.

“Luv you dada” she tells him in her sweet baby voice. David smiles and leans down kissing her forehead.

“I love you too Mallorie Desrosiers.” With that he watches her fall asleep.