Already Dead Inside

It was ten and I was sat on a spot on the sofa where neither Frank or Ray were sat on that day.

Gerard had gone to change his jeans after he spilt coffee on them so I was now watching the news intently.

“More on the news of the murder of Damien Weeks,” when the news person said his name it made a huge grin stretch across my face. I made him famous and on the news by getting to know and like him. “Police say the victim has been dead for at least ten hours. So far no witnesses have come forward over this brutal murder; Weeks was last seen alive by fellow rugby team mates and team captain in the early hours of yesterday evening.”

Brutal.

They describe it as brutal and I describe it as soothing. They just don't get it, they should get it. I had to do it, I had to feel his blood. It was soothing and calming and it tingled my senses when I tasted it.

“Friends have said that Weeks had no known enemies and hadn't done anything to upset anyone within the weeks leading up to now. The near by college of which Weeks was a student at is said to be devastated and have relieved students of attending today so friends and people close with the victim could overcome his death.” The screen showered the locker room which the deed was done in and people could be seen laying flowers by the entrance of it.

A warm swept within me. It was nice and warming to me.

“And now our correspondent, Jeff Hughes, who's at the scene can give you the latest details....,” the woman's voice slowly faded from my hearing as I became lost in my thoughts.

I've now liked Damien and I've spent time with him. I felt his blood and it's been amazing.

If only he had appreciated everything I did because then it'd be even more better.

“Mikey!” Gerard's voice makes me jump and brings me from my thoughts. He doesn't know just how nice my thoughts were. He doesn't understand.

Blinking several times I see that the TV's now off and Gerard's standing next to me, a look I don't quite recognise on his face.

“Mikey, we need to talk,” he says, sitting down on the same spot that Frank was last sat in.

I stare at the spot intently, remembering how it felt when the knife drove itself into Frank's body. How it felt to feel his blood spill onto my hands. How it felt to see his eyes lose their life.

He made me feel the need to get to know people; his death prompted me to want to get to know people and to start liking them.

“Mikey!” I wasn't aware that Gerard was saying anything until he called my name again. This time I didn't just from the suddenness of his voice. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry Gee,” I said, my eyes wondering around the room.

There was a need within me, a certain need that made me just want to decorate everywhere with blood. Gerard's blood.

But I could never do that; he's my brother.

“Look at me Mikey, please,” there was something that sounded like desperation in Gerard's voice. I almost wondered as to why he would sound so desperate.

But nonetheless, I circled my eyes back to him and watched him.

Licking his lips, he began talking. “You have to stop doing this Mikey,” he said softly, his words not quite registering in my mind.

Stop what?

“T-this....thought of their blood feeling...soothing, Mikey, isn't right.”

“Ger--” he interrupted me.

“Mikey, I'm serious. When you didn't come home last night, do you know how worried I was? I thought someone had found out about what you did to.....Frank and Ray,” it sounded as if he had trouble saying their names.

Poor Gerard.

“I'll always come home Gee, I would never leave you,” I smiled at him.

My teacher, Mr. Moore.

He's who I need to get to know and spend time with tomorrow.

“But you were so careless last night Mikey! You walked home covered in blood! Do you know how lucky you are that not only was it dark then but not many people are out at that time of night?!” Gerard sounded aggravated.

“But it was soothing Gerard,” I told him, my eyes lighting up over the memories of last night.

This made Gerard's hand run through his hair and grasp onto the edges slightly harshly. “Please Mikey, please....”

I wonder how Mr. Moore will like the fact that I want to get to know him better. I hope he enjoys it; Damien didn't appreciate it but I'm sure Mr. Moore will.

“Mikey, please listen to me. You can't kee--” Gerard was cut off by a knock at the door. Both our heads looked towards it. When no one moved the person knocked again and this time I looked back to Gerard. He had an almost scared look on his face. I wonder why.

When the person knocked again it seemed like it snapped Gerard out from whatever he was in because he spring off the sofa and slowly walked over to the door. He seemed tense, however when he opened the door he visibly tensed more.

“H-hey Amy, what you doing here?” I heard his voice.

Amy?

“I just stopped by to see how you are Gerard, you seemed a little on edge last time I saw you,” a female voice came from the doorway.

Being nosy like I am, I stood up from the sofa and made my way to the door. I stopped just behind Gerard so that I could see who was at the door.

She noticed me and smiled, “Hey Mikey.” Then she looked back to Gerard.

“I-I'm fine Amy, just a little stressed out, I suppose?” he replied, not looking all that comfortable with the conversation.

I found myself drawn to her skin. She was female. I wonder what her blood would feel like...

She was talking to Gerard and it didn't seem like he wanted her to be.

I don't like her.