Already Dead Inside

Always Amy.

Why does he care so much about Amy?

I don't like her, she's not that nice. I don't see how he could like her either.

Why is he talking to her about what I done?

The smile's meant to be just for him, not for her to know about. But no, he has to go and tell her all about it.

Why would he do that? Share something that I gave him with her?

First she came here when Gerard was talking to me and by her coming here it made him stop talking to me. Then she goes and sits on the same spot as Frank was!

As much as I don't like her I feel like I should spend some time with her.

Maybe with Gerard too...

Yes, that's what I'll do.

I'll spend some time with her and invite Gerard along with me. So that I can spend time with them together and Gerard can see that I am spending time with her.

Snapping out of my thoughts I looked around the living room.

It was a mess.

And it was all Amy's fault.

It's like she's got some hold on Gerard and it's not right. He's my brother so he loves me, not her.

She's trying to take him away from me. I just know it.

There's nothing good about her; she is female and there's nothing good about females.

They're all out to ruin lives.

Amy's just trying to make Gerard think that what I'm doing is bad. I'm trying to make him understand but she's making him not understand!

She's poisoning him against me.

I sat on the floor and looked at the glass scattered around on the floor. Curiously I looked at the piece closest to me and stretched my arm out to it.

Pressing my palm down on it felt so weird.

But it made me bleed.

It felt so good.

Amy's blood will feel better.

Turning my palm upwards, I gazed at the blood on my hand. Using my other hand, I rubbed my fingers into the liquid, shuddering and giggling at the feel of it.

Blood is always so soothing to me. It's almost calming too.

Gerard would agree with me if Amy only let him understand. If she didn't try and stop him understanding.

It was why he didn't accept my present.

I went through all that trouble of getting the heart for him and he didn't take it. But I don't blame him, I blame her.

A knock at the door disturbed me from the blood on my palm. Another knock followed shortly afterwards, as if the person was frantic.

I looked back down at the blood, smiling at the sight of it before scowling when yet another knock sounded at the door.

Letting out a huff, I stood up from the floor and made my way to the door.

Why would anyone be knocking now? It's late and hardly anyone is up.

Unless....

Gee was talking with Amy before and he probably told her about my gift that he rejected. And knowing her, she'd want to talk with him because that's what she does – talk to him and turn him against me.

So it's probably her.

I smiled when I realised that maybe I could spend time with her soon then I first thought.

When she knocked again, instead of scowling, I giggled before opening the door with my non bloodied hand.

I looked up from my blood to see that it was in fact Amy at the door.

And this made me smile widely before giggling.