Already Dead Inside

Crazy. Yep. That must be it. I'm fucking crazy. Why else would I help dispose of my best friend's bodies, that my brother just so happened to murder? I knew why. Mikey is my brother, and no matter what he does, I will be with him all the way. I can't risk him being sent to jail. There is no telling what they would do to him.

I gripped the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning an alarming shade of white. I glanced in the rear-view mirror seeing the street lights illuminate the black bin backs in the back seat as we passed under them.

We drove most of the way in complete silence. “Where are we going exactly?” The tone of voice Mikey was using was very uninterested. Kinda pissing me off. “We're going to the river, near the spillway.” He scoffed. “Why there?”

My grip on the wheel got even tighter. “Because, no one would find them unless the specifically looked there.” He made an O face and stared out the window.

I followed the curves in the road to the spillway. The water here runs so fast, they would be gone in no time. I pulled the car to a stop near the bank of the river.

I looked over to Mikey. I felt a tear about to run down my cheek as I realized what I was about to do. Mikey's face had no sense of remorse. He almost had a look of pure joy. “Mikey.” My voice was just above a whisper. “Hmm.” He turned his head to look at me. “We need to do this.” He smiled and nodded. Almost like he was enjoying this.

I got out and opened the back door to retrieve the first body. It was Frank. I could tell because of how light he was. “Mikey, come over here and grab the feet.” He walked around the car and grabbed his feet. We walked as fast as we could. Mikey dropped Frank's feet just as we were reaching the bank. “Fuck, Mikey!” He chuckled a bit. “Sorry.”

He picked up Frank's feet again and we dropped him into the river. I walked back up to the car to get Ray. Another tear falling down my cheek. Mikey came in front of me and grabbed him first. I took a hold of Ray's feet and we took him to the bank and dropped him in.

The bodies, flowing down the river, began to sink. Mikey wiped off his hands. “Well, now that's over with.” As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't. He's my brother. What else can I do?

I was about to shut the back car door when I realized a dark stain on the seat. “Fuck!” Mikey peered in the window. “What is it?” I shook my head. “I'm going to have to clean this up.” Mikey shrugged his shoulders and got in the front seat.

I turned the key in the ignition and sped off. “Now when we get back to the flat, I want you to stay..there. I'm going to get some cleaning supplies to clean up the...mess.” He nodded.

When we arrived to the flat Mikey got out. “Mikes, don't touch anything until I get back.” He frowned slightly. “Whatever you say.” Mikey shut the door and I sped off towards the nearest store.

After a few blocks I pulled up to this convenient store that was still open. Thank God. I parked and turned the car off. When I took my hands off of the wheel they began to shake. “Calm down, Gerard. Just c-calm down.” I took a few deep breaths. It helped, very little.

I stepped out of the car and just stood there for a minute before I shut the door. I took another deep breath before I entered the store. The clerk behind the counter stared me down as I was heading toward the cleaning supplies. Call me Paranoid. It was pretty late. Still, I didn't like the fact of someone staring me down, considering the circumstances.

I scanned the shelves until I found what I was looking for. Bleach, gloves, towels, and scrub brushes. I began to put the Items in my basket when I heard a familiar voice. “Gerard? Is that you?” I turned to see who it was. “Amy?” She nodded. “It's been a while Gerard. How are you and Mikey?” I froze. I didn't know what to say. She raised her eyebrow, waiting for a response. “W-We're doing great, just great.” “Got a mess to clean up?” For a second I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. Amy gestured towards the products in my basket. “Uh, Yeah.”

“You okay? You seem worried.” I shook my head. “I'm f-fine.” She nodded. “Well, I'll see you later I guess.” I turned and walked away. I didn't have the time to talk to her anymore. As much as I missed her, I had more important things to attend to.

I put the items on the counter. The clerk scanned them one by one. “Did you find everything you needed?” “Uh. Y-yes.” She gave me a smile and I attempted one back. I gave her a bill. “Keep the change.”

I stowed the items in the front seat and drove off to the flat. When the elevator doors opened on my floor I walked hurriedly to my door. I opened the door and closed it quickly, making sure every single lock was locked.

Mikey wasn't in the sitting area. I rounded the corner and found Mikey sitting in the corner wher I found him the first time. He had his hands in the blood. Rubbing the blood around the floor.

I set the bags on the table. “Mikey!” He looked up at me with a sadistic smile on his face. “It's so soft, Gerard.” I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth.

“Go wash up.” He stood up and headed towards the bathroom. “Grab a bin bag and put every single piece of clothing you have in there.” He grabbed the black roll and went into the bathroom.

I sighed and took off my jacket and laid it on the back of the chair by the bar. I rolled up my sleeves past my elbows as I grabbed the first item out of the sack. I grabbed the towels and threw them onto the floor. They needed to soak up most of the..their.. blood.

After the towels did their job I grabbed them up, cringing as I felt the wetness running down my hands. I grabbed a bin bag and stuffed them in.

The floor was still stained with the remnants of Mikey's deed. I grabbed the bleach and emptied the container onto the tile. I grabbed the scrub brush and got on my knees. The stains came up fairly easily, but I wasn't taking any chances.

I grabbed the other container of bleach and repeated the process. I scrubbed every single crease and crevice of the entire kitchen floor. Not taking any chances.

I discarded the scrub brush and grabbed the remaining towel to wipe up the bleach.

“Did you get it all?”

I jumped back as Mikey's voice was right behind me. “Shit, Mikey!” He just smiled. “Sorry.” He handed me the bin bag full of his soiled clothes.

After I took my shower and put my soiled clothes into the same bin bag as Mikey did, I took the bin back and threw it down the garbage chute in the hallway.

When I walked back into the sitting room, I could see Mikey standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring down towards the bloodless floor. A frown on his face.