Love Is Just a Hoax
And he can't understand
But.
The dreadful word passed through his mind like a bullet, shredding his thoughts and destroying any chance of a smile. Deadly, little word. Almost as dirty as
Yet.
However.
Except.
Just as deadly painful when she said it.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I still love you, but I can’t be with you anymore.” She paused; he could feel her taking a deep breath next to him, steadying herself to proclaim whatever explanation she felt he needed to hear. He didn’t need to hear anything other than sweet words like
Yes.
Love.
Us.
His fist clenched around the small, precious ring. A ring he thought, while picking out, was tiny and beautiful and just like her. He thought it was like their love, elegant and simple, forever and strong. Turns out he was wrong. That circle of metal might as well have been plastic painted a shiny metallic, for all the falsity their love had turned out to be. All things their once beautiful love had turned into
Fake.
Lies.
Apathy.
“It’s not really you, or me, or anything either of us did,” she started back up again, “It’s just that I don’t think I could ever see myself doing this.” Her arms swept out, looking onto the quiet park with its ambling old folk and sweet looking trees. He knew what she meant, what she really meant. How she was saying, “You’re boring, and monotonous. I could never see myself actually waking up next to you every day for the rest of my life.”
He didn’t speak, just kept looking straightforward, not trusting himself to look at her without a tear escaping, without trying to brush back her beautiful blonde hair. He just kept staring forward, forcing out words he didn’t mean.
“I understand, really, I do.” Somehow they came out, but he didn’t mean them. He knew what he really wanted to say was
Please.
Don’t go.
I love you.
“I knew you would, you know me so well. I think it’s best for us both this way. You need a better girl than me, someone who would never hurt you.” He felt her voice turn from a sunshine covered smile to a pity party. She had managed to make this about her.
“Goodbye,” She whispered, not trying to make him look at her one last time as she got up and walked away. He knew what he’d see if he tilted his head just a few inches to the right. He’d see a tiny woman, beautiful figure sashaying away, hips twisting left and right as she left him there. As she left him to contemplate the things he obviously didn’t understand, things like
Love.
Spontaneity.
Goodbyes.
The dreadful word passed through his mind like a bullet, shredding his thoughts and destroying any chance of a smile. Deadly, little word. Almost as dirty as
Yet.
However.
Except.
Just as deadly painful when she said it.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. I still love you, but I can’t be with you anymore.” She paused; he could feel her taking a deep breath next to him, steadying herself to proclaim whatever explanation she felt he needed to hear. He didn’t need to hear anything other than sweet words like
Yes.
Love.
Us.
His fist clenched around the small, precious ring. A ring he thought, while picking out, was tiny and beautiful and just like her. He thought it was like their love, elegant and simple, forever and strong. Turns out he was wrong. That circle of metal might as well have been plastic painted a shiny metallic, for all the falsity their love had turned out to be. All things their once beautiful love had turned into
Fake.
Lies.
Apathy.
“It’s not really you, or me, or anything either of us did,” she started back up again, “It’s just that I don’t think I could ever see myself doing this.” Her arms swept out, looking onto the quiet park with its ambling old folk and sweet looking trees. He knew what she meant, what she really meant. How she was saying, “You’re boring, and monotonous. I could never see myself actually waking up next to you every day for the rest of my life.”
He didn’t speak, just kept looking straightforward, not trusting himself to look at her without a tear escaping, without trying to brush back her beautiful blonde hair. He just kept staring forward, forcing out words he didn’t mean.
“I understand, really, I do.” Somehow they came out, but he didn’t mean them. He knew what he really wanted to say was
Please.
Don’t go.
I love you.
“I knew you would, you know me so well. I think it’s best for us both this way. You need a better girl than me, someone who would never hurt you.” He felt her voice turn from a sunshine covered smile to a pity party. She had managed to make this about her.
“Goodbye,” She whispered, not trying to make him look at her one last time as she got up and walked away. He knew what he’d see if he tilted his head just a few inches to the right. He’d see a tiny woman, beautiful figure sashaying away, hips twisting left and right as she left him there. As she left him to contemplate the things he obviously didn’t understand, things like
Love.
Spontaneity.
Goodbyes.
♠ ♠ ♠
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