Just Go With It

Until the twelve week scan, Amelia hadn’t been sure if she was really excited about the baby. She knew she wanted it, but it was so unexpected that she was still in shock. After seeing the little bump on the ultrasound however, her feelings changed and she knew from that moment on she would do anything to protect the child that was growing inside of her.

Around her, April and the guys were fussing and already planning for the baby’s arrival. Bam had been supportive and went with her to the scan but it was hard to judge how excited he was because he had been so busy lately preparing for the next season of the show that she barely saw him.

“Dunn, I need to talk to you dude.” Said Bam, pulling his best friend aside one morning.

“What’s up?” Dunn asked, following Bam across the garden. When they were safely out of earshot of the castle, Bam sat down by a tree with his head in his hands.

“I can’t do this Ryan.” He sighed, finally ready to reveal his true feelings.

“Can’t do what?” his friend asked, looking concerned.

“I can’t be a dad.”

“Bam you better be joking right now you asshole.” Dunn growled, sitting down beside him. “Do you know what you’re saying?”

Bam didn’t respond. The twelve week scan had shaken him up. It wasn’t until he saw the tiny person growing inside Amelia that he realised the enormity of the situation and he knew he couldn’t handle it.

“Dude!?”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t do this. She’s better off without me.”

“If you really think that then you’re a fucking moron!” Dunn shouted, getting increasingly angrier.

“I know I am.” Bam replied quietly.

“So what are you going to do? Run away?”

Once again Bam remained silent. He hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me?” Dunn continued in disbelief.

Bam stood up and started to walk away, but Dunn was quicker and threw his fist forward quickly so that it hit Bam square in the face, giving him a black eye.

“I deserved that.” Bam said, with a blank look on his face.

Dunn could not believe it. Not once, in over fifteen years of knowing him, had Bam ever walked away from a fight. Dunn let him go and pulled out his phone to call April.

“Where do you think you’re going?” April shouted, walking out of the castle and taking one look at the black eye and the expression on her youngest son’s face.

“I need some space.” He mumbled, cursing Dunn under his breath as he headed for the car.

“Does Amelia know?”

Bam said nothing.

“Brandon!?” April only used his real name when she was furious.

“Just leave it mom.” He replied, climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the engine.

She walked up to the window. “You’re a fucking idiot, do you know that.” She spat.

He nodded, putting on his sunglasses so that she could not see the tears glistening in his eyes.

“I’m ashamed to call you my son.”

With one look back at the castle, Bam took off down the drive, leaving April in a cloud of dust.

The tears began to fall now that the realisation set in. Bam wasn’t sure if he could handle the responsibility of becoming a father. He knew that running away was a stupid thing to do, but when did he ever think about his actions? April’s words echoed in his head. She had been right to scream at him. He was a terrible person and he didn’t deserve his friends or family. As he drove, he tried not to let the image of Amelia’s face fill his head. He wondered how she would react when she realised what he had done. She would be heartbroken and distraught. Bam bit his lip. He was so ashamed of himself. He was not fit to bring a child into this world. He was still a child himself.

When Amelia arrived home from town she walked into an unusually quiet house. It appeared that everyone had gone out, until she entered the living room and found April, Phil, Dico, Raab and Dunn sitting there in silence.

“What’s going on guys?” she asked, looking from person to person. “Where are the others?”

Dunn was the first to speak. “Sit down Amelia.”

She looked at him questioningly, but did as he had told her. “Dunn, what’s wrong?”

Dunn bit his lip and glanced at April before standing up. “There’s something you should know, and you’re not going to like it.”

Amelia’s stomach somersaulted. She did not like the sound of this. “Dunn?”

He heaved a sigh and reluctantly spat it out. “Bam’s gone.”

“What do you mean ‘gone’?” she laughed “Gone where?”

“We don’t know sweetie.” April said sadly. “He took off this morning. Novak and Rake have gone looking for him.”

Amelia looked at Dunn again. From the fuss they were making about it, she got the impression that this wasn’t just one of Bam’s typical outings, where he would disappear without telling anyone and then return several hours later.

“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” she demanded, standing up in frustration.

Dunn walked over to her and put a hand on his shoulder. “I think he’s having second thoughts about being a father.” Dunn admitted supporting Amelia as she nearly dropped to the floor in disbelief.

“What!?”

He sat her back down on the sofa and recounted his earlier conversation with Bam. By the time he had finished, tears were falling silently down her cheek. Without saying a word she left the room and made her way to her bedroom.

Amelia lay face down on the bed and cried until she had no energy left. She wasn’t angry with Bam, she was angry with herself. She felt so stupid for having trusted him, when really he was just like Callum. How could she have been so blind? She remembered what a dick he had been when she first moved to West Chester. Having a baby was such a stupid idea. Now she was left to cope with it on her own. Her parents and Rose had returned home earlier that week and she didn’t want to go crawling back to England and admitting that things hadn’t worked out this time either. She fell into a fitful sleep.

After hours of driving, Bam realised he had no idea where he was going. It was getting dark and he couldn’t drive all the way through the night. In the end he pulled into a motel and stocked up on beer and vodka. He was in for a lonely night, and the only company he deserved was alcohol. He had over twenty missed calls on his phone from Dunn and April, and even Knoxville back in Los Angeles, but not so much as a text from Amelia. Not that he deserved anything more.

After consuming the beer and vodka, Bam staggered across the road to the nearest bar. It was as grotty as the motel, but he didn’t care. The off license had closed and he needed more alcohol to numb his pain. His head was now pleasantly light and the more he drank, the more Amelia’s face blurred in his mind. The bartender did not seem to care that Bam had already had way too much to drink, and kept the beers flowing. Before long, Bam moved on to the whiskey, and all thoughts of his pregnant girlfriend had been drowned by the booze.

Eventually the bar shut and Bam was kicked out onto the street. It was lucky that his motel was so close, as he could barely stand, let alone walk, and after taking a few steps he threw his guts up on to the pavement to the disgust of a group of women passing by. He wiped his mouth and continued on his way to the motel, feeling the vomit burning the back of his throat. He managed to get inside his room, before collapsing in a drunken heap on the floor.

***

“Dude, you need to come over here.” Dunn sighed over the phone to Knoxville.

It had been two days since Bam’s departure, and things in West Chester were rapidly declining. “Bam’s still AWOL and Amelia’s locked herself in solitary confinement for the past forty eight hours. Everything’s falling apart.”

“Relax Dunn, I’m on my way to the airport as we speak.” Johnny reassured his friend. “Bam will come back when he’s good and ready, he’s not an idiot. And if he doesn’t, well, then we’ll go and get him.”