Just Go With It

Amelia had been living in Castle Bam for a month. They had been filming continuously since her arrival and Amelia was in a constant state of disbelief at the imagination and energy of the guys. They were always dreaming up hilarious stunts to pull, or pranks to play on Vito. Amelia’s personal favourite had been the “fat boy face-off” competition between Phil and Vito.

It had been two weeks since Amelia and Bam had ended up in the pool together, and he had kept true to his word. If Bam wasn’t ignoring her for days on end, he was going out of his way to set up situations in which he and Amelia were alone. He would try his hardest to make a move on Amelia, but so far she had been strong enough to resist.

She had to hand it to him, he was determined, and Amelia could feel her resolve beginning to weaken. It was getting to the point where she would no longer be able to trust herself around him. The temptation was already too much. This, coupled with his extreme mood swings, was giving Amelia a major headache, and more than once she had considered moving out of the castle. It was only supposed to be a temporary set up anyway.

Early one morning, after a particularly wild night, Amelia was getting stuck into cleaning up the castle with April. She found it incredibly unfair how Bam treated his mother, and therefore was always trying to pull her weight around the castle. Amelia was bent down, scrubbing a stain on the carpet when she heard the front door swing open. Expecting to see one of the guys crawling in shamefully from a late night rendezvous, Amelia looked up and to her surprise was met by the sight of a tall, slim dark haired man in a checked shirt and sunglasses.

The stranger smiled at Amelia, removing his shades. After being forced to watch the entire collection of Jackass tapes, the man’s face was unmistakeable. It was Johnny Knoxville.

“Oh my god.” She laughed, standing up to greet him and pulling off her rubber gloves.

“I’ve been called many things in my time, but God? That’s a new one. I like it!” he winked, taking her hand and kissing it like a gentleman.

“Sorry, it’s just...well it’s great to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.” She smiled and introduced herself. “Amelia Jones, camera woman and general dogsbody.”

“Lovely to meet you Amelia, I’m God, but you can call me Johnny.”

“Holy shit, Knoxville!” yelled a voice. Amelia looked around to see Dunn descending the stairs in a pair of boxer shorts and nothing much else. “What are you doing here?” he asked. Dunn and Johnny hugged each other in a very manly fashion.

“I was in town for a few days so I figured I’d drop by and make a cameo in the show.” He explained. “Speaking of which, I have a gift for Bam.” He gestured for Dunn and Amelia to follow him outside.

Amelia picked up the camera from its resting place on the kitchen table, before hurrying after Dunn.

Johnny led them to the front of the castle where Bam’s red hummer was parked. Johnny giggled like a girl as he started up a chainsaw and began to saw into the roof of the Hummer. Amelia and Dunn stood back and gasped.

“Bam’s going to love his new convertible!” Johnny exclaimed, roaring with laughter over the sound of the chainsaw.

Amelia could tell that they were going to be in for an interesting few days. After a little persuasion Dunn joined in the attack on the hummer with an axe. Bam’s bedroom overlooked the front of the castle, and soon enough the commotion outside woke him up. The window flew open and Bam poked his head outside. It took him a few seconds to gather what was happening.

“Knoxville, you dick!” he shouted, spotting his old friend on top of the Hummer. Johnny howled with laughter as Bam realised what he was doing to his beloved Hummer.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” Johnny laughed, continuing the assault on the car.

This noise stirred the rest of the castle, and soon everyone had gathered outside to greet Johnny. April was over the moon to see him.

“I think she has a crush.” Dico whispered to Amelia, as April pulled Johnny into a motherly hug.

“Can it be fixed?” she asked warily, referring to the Hummer.

“Yes April, we’ll put it back together after lunch.” Johnny lied, with a mischievous grin on his face. It was hard to tell whether Bam was more annoyed or amused by his modified car.

After the incident with the Hummer, Bam had banished Dunn to remain as Johnny’s partner in crime and he declared an all out prank war. It was hardly fair that Bam had Raab, Dico, Rake and Novak on his side, but Amelia got the impression that Johnny and Dunn would not really be at that much of a disadvantage. Johnny had an obvious flair for causing trouble.

For the majority of the day, Amelia hung out with Johnny and Dunn as they planned possible skits to pull on Bam. When they weren’t plotting, they were discussing the next Jackass movie and how big it was going to be.

“Oh man, I can’t wait to see Steve-O and the others.” Dunn sounded so excited at the prospect of being reunited with the Jackass crew.

“I’m sorry we’re not good enough for you Dunn.” Amelia teased, in between stories of what went on behind the scenes of the first film.

Amelia felt incredibly sorry for the production crew. Filming Viva La Bam was turning out to be bad enough. She could not bring herself to imagine the same kind of atmosphere on a much bigger scale.

“You’ll do for now.” Dunn joked, pulling Amelia into a bear hug.

“It’s nice to feel wanted.” She grinned, patting him on the back.

The banter continued between the three of them for most of the day. Amelia played a less active role in the pranking of Bam, but she made sure she got the best reaction shots from him, particularly when Johnny and Dunn filled one of the downstairs rooms with bubbles.

When they were not filming, Bam didn’t seek Amelia out, so she assumed he was either ignoring her today, or grouping her with Johnny and Dunn. She was surprisingly unaffected by this, what with the constant distraction of Johnny. It was impossible to feel down around him and as she got to know him better, Amelia felt like he was the older brother she’d never had.

As it turned out, Bam ignored Amelia for the whole of Johnny’s visit to West Chester. If she didn’t know him better, she would have said Bam was jealous of the time she was spending with Johnny. She couldn’t help it; Johnny was the kind of person who others would gravitate around. Perhaps Bam couldn’t deal with not being the centre of attention for once.

After only a few days, Bam and Johnny had both ended up with ruined cars, and Dunn with a ruined bike, the castle had been flooded with bubbles, Bam had been terrorised with a snake, and had Johnny sabotage his food, Dunn’s wallet had been put into a toilet full of sick, Johnny’s phone number had been posted on a billboard and he’d had his hotel room trashed by Vito. Everyone seemed slightly relieved when it was time for Johnny to leave.

The night before his departure, Johnny announced that he was taking everyone out for a few drinks. In the bar, Johnny put Bam’s card on tab as a last act of mischief and bought everyone drinks. As the alcohol flowed, and the guys became increasingly intoxicated Amelia noticed that Bam was flirting shamelessly with anything in a skirt. Amelia tried her hardest not to feel bothered when he started kissing a red haired girl, but the jealously stung deep down in her chest, and she needed to get out of the bar.

“Come on Amelia, I’m taking you out for dinner.” Johnny said, seeing the expression on her face.

Amelia looked at him and realised he was being serious.

“Grab your bag.” He continued, before she had the chance to argue. “I’m just going to ditch the others.”

She watched as he put his hand to Bam’s ear and said something over the noise of the bar. Bam took a step away from the red haired girl and glanced over at Amelia. She immediately averted his gaze, and pretended to be looking for something in her bag.

When Johnny returned she stood up and let him lead the way out of the bar. Bam appeared to be making his way to follow them, but the barman intercepted him, handing over the bill.

“Knoxville!” they heard him cry in exasperation.

“Thank you for this Johnny.” She told him, as they climbed into a taxi. She was thankful to get away from Bam, but also a little nervous to be spending time alone with Johnny. Dunn had always been present before.

“My pleasure.” He beamed, giving the driver directions to a restaurant at the other end of town.

On arrival at the restaurant, they took a quiet table by the window, and ordered some food and a bottle of wine. Away from the bar, Amelia now started to relax. It was so refreshing to be in Johnny’s company.

“Bam’s a dick right?” said Johnny, as he poured them both a large glass of red wine. He was considerably more sober than any of the others had been.

“It’s doing my head in.” Amelia confessed, taking a large sip of the wine. She didn’t have the energy to avoid the subject of Bam.

“What’s the problem? He likes you, you like him.”

“We have nothing in common Johnny. We’re completely different people.” She sighed. “There’s no way it could work.”

“Couldn’t you give him a chance?” Johnny looked at her. She shook her head defiantly.

“One minute he’s trying to kiss me, the next it’s like I don’t exist! Just look at him tonight. I don’t know where I stand.”

“Neither does Bam by the sound of it. If you like him you shouldn’t let sense and reasoning get in the way of your feelings. Grab him by the balls and don’t let him go. He’s a great catch you know, and you’re not bad yourself.”

“Wise words Knoxville.” She laughed. “Are you sure I wouldn’t be getting in the way of a little bromance?”

“I think I could be persuaded to share him. If you promise to be nice.”

“If only if it was that simple.”

“It is. Give him a chance. For me.”

Before Amelia could interject, their food arrived and the talk turned to other matters.

When they arrived back at the castle it was late. It was impossible to tell whether the guys were still in the club, or all settled in bed, so Amelia tiptoed up the stairs to her room, and pulled the door closed quietly. It wasn’t until she flicked on the light switch that she realised someone was already in the room.

“What the hell Bam!?” she gasped, as her eyes fell upon the man sitting on her bed.

Her head was spinning a little from the second bottle of wine she and Johnny had shared.

“You’re back late.” He observed. “Did you have fun with Johnny?”

Amelia refused to bite. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t understand Amelia. I’m trying to prove to you that this is not a rebound thing, but as soon as Johnny shows up you’re all over him, like a slap round my face.”

“Stop being ridiculous Bam. He’s just a friend.” Amelia felt the anger building up.

Johnny had managed to make her feel a little differently about the Bam situation, and now he was ruining it.

“Well I hope you had a nice romantic meal with your ‘friend’.” He sulked. It didn’t suit him.

“Johnny took me out because YOU were pissing me off.” She yelled. “You’ve got a damn funny way of proving you’re not on the rebound. Or are you planning to ask that ginger slut to move in?”

Bam glared at Amelia. She knew she had won this round. He slunk out of her room without saying another word. Amelia curled up on her bed and cried. She let out a month’s worth of tears of confusion and anguish.