Fix Me, Conflict Me

“He was kissing who?!”

“I’m so done with him right now, Bailey,” I sighed simply, rolling my eyes. I came to Bailey so damn depressed, and she decided I needed girl time. We were currently getting our nails done. I’d never had a manicure or pedicure before, but…I could get used to this. “Don’t get on his case or whatever,” I ordered when Bailey took an un-manicured hand and began to rummage around in her purse for her phone. “I want him to apologize to me himself, and I want him to mean it.” Bailey sighed, but did as I asked.

“It’s just…Bailey, why would he do that to me?” I asked morosely, watching as my nails were painted neon purple. I knew it sounded like I was about to cry, but I was done crying. I was so done crying over a stupid boy…but Alexander William Gaskarth, as stupid as he was, was still my boy. I wanted him back more than I can say. Just like I fixed him after Daniel, he fixed me after Cooper. As much as I hated to admit it, and as much as we conflicted, we needed each other more than anything. Our relationship is totally sink or swim. When it’s good, it’s great, but when it’s bad, it’s awful.

“I don’t know, but if you would have just listened to each other…”

“So it’s my fault?”

“...I think it’s both your faults, but I’d have to hear his side of the story first.”

“His side of the story? He’s the one who went out and cheated on me, how am I to blame?!”

“Maddie, Alex is a guy, and guys tend seek comfort of the physical kind when they’re down... and, I think it’s partially your fault because you left him there. Sure, he found your stash, but if he just heard how you’ve never done any since that night –“

“Can we talk about something else?” I groaned. I didn’t need Bailey to come to my pity party.

“Alright…well, how’s Baz? Oh, fuck,” Bailey softly swore, remembering that Baz was Alex’s dog now. “Um, how’s…do you…uh…”

I laughed. “It’s fine, Bailey, never mind.”

The rest of the day went along nicely, even though Bailey kept trying to check out guys for me wherever the fuck we went. It didn’t make me feel any better. Just because I said I was so done with Alex didn’t mean I was over him.

“Damn…you know, all this retail therapy was wonderful, but…I could really go for some food right now, girl,” Bailey huffed, tossing all her bags into the trunk of my car. We went to the Towson Town Center and went crazy at all the stores – mostly Urban Outfitters for me, mostly Charlotte Russe for Bailey. “Let me drive, I know this great place to eat. You’re gonna love it, Maddie!”

I laughed and tossed her the keys, getting into the shotgun seat. We took my car, but I was relieved not to be driving tonight. “Is it a long ways away?”

“Um…long enough for you to take a nap,” Bailey said after a moment’s pause, turning the radio up after speaking.

“And now for a song from Baltimore’s very own hometown heroes, All Time Low!”

I flinched at the familiar voice and guitar intro after the DJ’s announcement.

“I’ve got your picture, I’m coming with you. Dear Maria, count me-“

I lurched forward to turn the radio off.

“There’s a story at the bottom of this bottle and I’m the– Oh, sorry, Maddie,” Bailey cleared her throat awkwardly after singing along rather enthusiastically.

“Can you just leave the radio off? I’ll take a nap.” Bailey nodded, eyes on the road, so I leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes, slipping into unconsciousness in minutes.

“Hey, Maddie! We’re here!” Bailey half sang, parking the car. When I blearily opened my eyes, I noticed the parking lot was nearly full. I frowned, not in the mood to wait very long for my food. “Let’s go!” Bailey took my wrist, dragging me into the restaurant, because when I saw the Paper Moon Diner sign hanging overhead, I wanted to bolt for it.

This was the first place Alex and I had our, I guess, first date…where we talked about our problems and just took comfort in the fact that despite how fucked up our souls were they were still kindred spirits. This place held a lot of good memories for me…which was exactly why I didn’t want to be here. “W-We can’t eat somewhere else?”

“Aw, come on, now, Maddie! I already reserved us a table and everything!”

I sighed, giving into Bailey for the night. She did ditch her boyfriend for me. This was the least I could do. I ordered my usual along with a Fanta and sighed, looking out the window where we had sat outside. The Paper Moon Diner was pretty packed tonight, with mostly high school teenage girls for some reason. “Bailey…is there something going on here tonight?” I asked after our food had been brought to our table. Bailey shrugged, wolfing down her food.

Suddenly all the girls got up and flooded this one half of the diner. “Hmm, what the hell is going on over there?” Bailey muttered, getting out of our booth. “Come on, Maddie, let’s investigate!” Bailey grabbed my wrist again, dragging me out of our table and over to where the crowd was gathering. There was a type of stage set up, and lights were shining down on it.

Suddenly, the girls started screaming bloody murder. There weren’t too many of them, but they were still pretty fucking loud. “Matt, can you find them and bring ‘em up front, please?” an oddly familiar voice said from a microphone.

The next thing I knew, Bailey was hugging this dark haired guy with gauges a lip piercing. “Bailey,” he laughed, releasing her. “And…you must be Maddie.”

“Yeah,” I had to shout so he could hear me. “Um, how do you know –“

But Matt took us both by the hand and pulled us along as two other guys cleared a path to the stage for us. When we got to the stage and Matt moved away so we could see who was on it, though, I wanted to run right back out. “Bailey!” I yelled, but my friend just smiled apologetically, turning her attention to Zack, who was over on the right side of the stage. She blew him a kiss, which made him blush and stare at his feet. Matt had pulled us to a spot right in front of Alex. His band, All Time Low, was playing a show here tonight.

“Hi, Maddie,” Alex said into the microphone. He was probably looking at me, but I was too busy looking for a way out of this place. Unfortunately, Matt and those two other guys with him kept me caged right in front of Alex. All of them planned this, were in on this. Dammit to hell! “I know I fucked up, and I know you’re mad, but I don’t know what to say to make things better, or what to do to make up for what a douche bag I've been to you…So I wrote a song for you.”

Everyone went “aww!”, and I covered my face, staring at my feet through my fingers. I was blushing so bad, hearing all the girls talking about me and seeing all of them pointing at me or trying to get a better look at me. Thankfully, they stopped when the boys started to play their instruments. When Alex started to sing, though, I couldn’t help looking up at him. He grinned when his eyes met mine, and I tried not to smile back, but that didn’t really work. I listened closely to the lyrics and the whole time our eyes never looked at anything else. Alex had such a way with words.

He always managed to get my heart beating faster.