Fix Me, Conflict Me

I gritted my teeth, trying not to yell my frustrations aloud. It was only seven in the morning, so everyone was still asleep…except for that stupid dog. I guess he wasn’t house trained because he took a leak all over the kitchen floor. Baz was cowering behind the trash can. I shook my head indulgently and pulled out long sheets of paper towel to clean things up.

I was pissed at the dog. I was pissed at my parents more, though – thinking getting a dog will help me get over Daniel’s death! My mom said something about how nurturing life will help me appreciate life again…or some shit like that. I was tempted to kick it, but then I remembered Maddie, and how much she loved it. Sighing to myself, I gently nudged Sebastian into the bathroom with my foot. “Sit tight, and we’ll go for a walk in a bit, alright, Baz?” I told the dog when it whimpered as I shut the bathroom door.

Then I got down on my hands and knees to clean up Baz’s mess. “Alexander?” My mom asked sleepily. “What are you doing up so early, love?”

“This dog wasn’t a good idea, mom,” I told her, holding up the yellow paper towels as proof.

She just laughed, starting to make coffee. “Oh, he’ll get used to home soon enough.”

I threw the paper towels away and washed my hands before heading back up to my room to change. My hair was hopeless as usual, but when I searched for my gray beanie, I couldn’t find it. “Maddie,” I sighed, laughing when I remembered how cute she looked in it. I took a quick shower before throwing on some skinny jeans, Converse, a gray Glamour Kills t-shirt, and a black hoodie. I grabbed Baz’s leash and took him out from the bathroom before going out of the house.

I wanted to see Maddie, though, so I got into the car instead. Baz curled up on the seat next to me. I rolled my eyes, but smiled and scratched his head before driving out. It took me a while to figure out where that exact animal shelter was, though. I exhaled slowly, self consciously adjusting my hoodie and tousling my hair. What was I gonna say to Maddie? Hi, can I have my beanie back? No, lame, and a total conversation killer. If I said that, I’d just take my beanie and go. Hey, Maddie, you wanna go for a walk? Ok, now that just sounded desperate, dammit.

I swear, I sat in the car for a full ten minutes, debating on whether to go to her or not, when I saw her walking towards the animal shelter, that guy from the park the other day hot on her heels. “Cooper’s not happy with you, Madison!” he yelled tauntingly. “Cooper’s not happy at all!”

“Fuck off, Dean! I don’t give a damn about Cooper!”

Maddie sounded legit scared underneath her tough girl act. I got out of my car and stood behind Maddie. “You’re gonna get it when Cooper gets out of jail,” he said darkly, seeing me over Maddie’s shoulder. Then he left.

Maddie let out a shaky breath before turning around. “O-Oh, Alex!”

“You’re so troublesome,” I sighed, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her towards my car. I pushed her in a little roughly, but she was too shocked to care. I put Baz onto her lap and shut her door before going over to the driver’s side. “Are you hungry?”

“Um –“

“Good, I’m taking you to the Paper Moon Diner,” I cut her off, starting the car and getting onto the road. “You have some explaining to do.”

Maddie buckled up. “Look, Alex, as much as I like you, I can’t just – “

“You like me?” I asked, trying not to smirk as I focused on the road. Maddie scoffed and fell silent, petting Baz and staring out the window. The car was silent, and the silence was angry. “Sorry, Maddie, but I’m just…angry with the world right now,” I muttered, pulling into the parking lot of the Paper Moon Diner and killing the engine.

“I just want to know why,” Maddie said quietly, unbuckling and getting out before I could open the door for her. “I’ll stay if you’ll tell me that. Otherwise, I’m gonna walk back to work.”

I dreaded the thought of her walking back to the animal shelter by herself almost as much as I dreaded the thought of telling her about Daniel, but… “Alright, you’ve got yourself a deal.”

Maddie and I shook on it before we went inside. I could tell she was mad at me. She walked first, she wouldn’t let me open the door for her, and she wouldn’t even look at me. We got a table outside so Baz could be with us, but when we sat down and I saw her face…Damn. “Maddie!”

“We’re here to talk about you,” she reminded me, pulling her bangs to frame the bruised side of her face. We ordered drinks and that was when I realized it.

This was Daniel’s favorite place to eat. I’d never come here without him before today.

…Oh, the things I do for this girl.