Listen up Cause This Is Not the End

My phone rang, but it wasn't my regular ringtone, it was an assigned one, one I haven't heard in years.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Cas," Monte's soft voice said.

"Hey," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Listen, Cas, Max just had a breakdown. You may not believe it, but he's in love with you. He misses you," Monte said, sounding worried.

"I laughed, "If he really loves me, he wouldn't have helped drive me out of the fucking house."

"Cassie, he really loves you. He wants to talk to you, so I'm going to give him the phone, okay?"

I sighed, "Okay."

There was Monte talking, then Max's voice filled the line.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey, asshole," I said, fake cheerful.

"Cassie, is that really you?"

"Yes, it's me. Why are you having a breakdown?"

Max was quiet, then he said, "Cassie, I know I was a total jerk to you, and I said a lot of mean things to you, but believe me when I say this, I love you. i want you back here. Please come back."

I laughed, then said, "No way! I'm not going back there with faggot Mabbitt! And you don't love me, I know you don't."

Ronnie stood up and motioned for me to give him the phone.

I put my hand over the phone and said, "No, babe, I can handle this."

He looked into my eyes and nodded. I took his hand and held it.

"We'll kick out Mabbitt! I'm sorry for how him and I acted!"

"Max, you sound so fucking desperate right now. I love it," I said, laughing.

is voice got angry, "Ya know what? You're a bitch! How the fuck does Ronnie handle you?"

"How do the guys handle you? If I were there, I'd punch you in the throat! you're an asshole and you don't deserve anyone! especially not me! I feel bad for your fucking ex girlfriends because they had to put up with you! I'm getting married! I'm fucking happy, unlike you! I hope you overdose, you druggie!" I spat.

I dropped Ronnie's hand and paced the room.

"fuck you, bitch!" he fired back.

"Ha! Like I haven't heard that before! Lemme tell you something- this is the last time you're ever going to hear my voice. This is the last conversation we're ever going to have. So, with that, goodbye, and I hope you die."

I hung up and threw my phone on the floor. I turned on my iPod, shoved my headphones in my ears and sat in a chair, putting on Have you Ever Danced by Breathe Carolina, turning up the volume until i couldn't hear anything else. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

Ronnie touched my shoulder and before I could yell at him, he held up my phone. It said I had a text from Jerry.

'Hey! How was your date? ;)' it said.

I laughed quietly and texted back 'The winking face is very appropiate, if ya know what I mean. ;) I got in an argument with Asshole and now I feel like punching someone.'

'Oh, why did Asshole call you?'

'No, it was monte that caled. Max had a breakdown and Monte wanted me to talk to him, so I did, and it ended bad.'

'Ah, well, calm down buddy! Listen to your favorite song, make out with Ronnie, do something that makes you happy!'

I laughed and typed back 'haha Thanks, hun. Ooh, Blackout came on, so I'll be okay in no time. Thank you! :)'

'No prob :)' was his reply. I put my phone down and sang quietly. I turned the volume down and Living Dead Girl came on after that. I smiled big and sang along.

I heard Ryan say, "She's smiling, so I think she calmed down."

I took out a headphone and said to him, "Yep. I'm fine now. I'm really sorry you guys had to see that, by the way. It's just, Asshole makes me so mad."

Ryan gave me a confused look, "Asshole?"

"Max Green," Ronnie said.

"Oh," Ryan replied, "So, what are you listening to?"

"Well, Living Dead Girl just ended, so now it's Reap by Red Jumpstuit Apparatus, a song I'm in love with, by the way."

"Sing it, Cas," Ronnie said.

I sang it and ronnie did the backup. I hit the high notes, and everyone's jaws dropped. I laughed and sang the rest of the song.

"How was that?" I asked, "Ronnie, you were great by the way."

He smiled and said, "Thank you. You were amazing, and I still can't believe you could hit notes like that."

"Amazing!" Mika said.

"CJ, you were great!" Ryan exclaimed.

"You were perfect," Derek said.

"That's my favorite song, and you sung it beautifully," Jacky commented.

Alex gave me a high five and said, "I would love to work with you."

"Sing another one! The very next one that plays," Mika said.

I nodded and waited for the next song to play, which was Fixed At Zero by Versaemerge. I sang it, emphasizing words with my hands, a habit I have. It was over and So Far Away by Avenged sevenfold came on. I sang that softly, trying not to cry, which failed. A few years ago, I had the honor of meeting The Rev. we became friends, and so this song hits home. I sang it and looked up a few times during the chorus. A few tears slid out, which I wiped away quickly. The song was over, and I looked at the boys.

"Any other songs you want me to sing?"

"Sing whatever you want," Derek said.

Porn Star Dancing came on and I got a big grin. I sang it and got up and danced. Jacky did Chad Kroager's part and him and I danced together. Ryan did Ludacris's part and we all air guitared Zakk Wylde's part. We finished the song and laughed.

"That was so much fun," Mika said, laughing.

"I know! Who knew Cas can sexy dance?" Jacky asked, laughing.

Ronnie then said, just to make them jealous, "Oh, trust me, she can pole dance. Not sure how, but she can."

Jacky's jaw dropped. He picked it back up and said, "Lucky!"

I giggled and picked up my phone. I saw that Tony texted me.

'Hey, Cas. I guess you're not coming home, so I just wanted to say good luck, and I hope you're happy. Don't worry about me, I have a date tonight. I wish you the best.'

My smile turned into a frown, and I felt bed. I wasn't fair to him. I hope he's really okay, and not just saying it.

"CJ, what happened to your smile?" Derek asked, patting my shoulder.

"Nothing, just nothing," I said, putting my headphones back in and turning up the volume.

I sat back on the chair and listened to Sound of Madness by Shinedown. I stared at the text, contemplating replying, when I got a text from Ronnie.

'What's wrong, baby?'

'It's Tony. I wasn't fair to him. That's the one that I had feelings for, and I was afraid of hurting him. He texted me and I'm not sure if he's really okay, or if he's just saying it. Either way, I feel bad.' I replied.

Ronnie didn't reply, but he put his arms around my neck and kissed my head. He took out one of my earbuds.

"You should visit him, see if he's okay," he whispered.

I nodded and he kissed my head again and let go, walking back to the guys. I put my earbud back in and flipped through the songs. I settled for The Legacy by Black Veil Brides.

I sang along quietly. I'm not sure how, but Andy Biersack's voice makes me feel better. Even his screaming soothes me. It's weird, I know. I grabbed my phone and texted Jaime.

'Jaime, how's Tony doing? His text isn't reassuring me at all.'

'He's fine, he really is. I mean, he's a little disappointed that you didn't pick him, but he's bouncing back. Did he mention that he has a date tonight?' Jaime replied.

'Yeah, I just wasn't sure. I feel bad for hurting him. Tell him I'm sorry, will ya?'

'Sure thing.'

I put my phone down and took off my headphones.

"Guys, I want to hear you do another song. Will you do one more?" I asked.

They smiled and nodded. they did a song called Raised by Wolves, which is amazing. I learned Ronnie got better at screaming as well as singing. They were done and we all decided to call it a day. Ronnie drove home, holding my hand the whole time. He put on my mixed cd and flipped through the songs. He stopped on Bestitos by PTV.

When he realized who this is, he turned it down and said, "I'm sorry for putting this on."

"No, it's fine. Jaime assured me that Tony really is okay."

"That's good. So, he's the singer, right?"

"no, he's the guitarist. Vic's the singer," I said, when I suddenly remembered, "Oh my god, Vic."

"What about vic, honey?' Ronnie asked, stopping at a red light.

"vic liked me too! I was so worried about Tony that I forgot about Vic! He tried to forget about me by dating his whore ex-girlfriend who cheated on him! Oh my gosh, why am I such a bitch?" I said, feeling terrible.

"Cassie, you're not a bitch," Ronnie said soothingly, "You didn't mean to hurt him. It just happened. If Vic's happy with his girlfriend, then leave it be."

"But that's the thing! He's NOT happy! It's obvious! How am I gonna make him happy again?"

Ronnie began driving again, and traced circles in my hand. "Just apologize," he said, "Okay?"

I sniffed and said, "What if that's not enough?"

"Then talk to him."

I nodded, then it was silent the rest of the way home, except for the cd still playing. I got in the house and collapsed on the couch, disgusted with myself. Ronnie sat under my legs and rubbed my back. After a while, he spoke.

"Are you hungry?"

"I don't deserve to eat," I said, muffled, "I'm a heartbreaker."

"Cassie, you didn't do it on purpose! I'm sure he'll forgive you! That's it, you're going to talk to him now. Get in the car."

"No," I said.

"Cassandra Layne!" he boomed.

I looked at him and began to cry. He pulled me to his chest.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry. You don't have to go now."

I got up, still crying and said, "I wanna be alone."

He said, "Okay," and watched me walk upstairs. I went to our room and collapsed on the bed, crying. After about an hour, the door opened. I didn't bother to look.