Love within Ashes

Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. That was all I had in my mind, after waking up joyfully. I felt like I was flying, not walking. Floating over my room, thinking in the best kisses of my life. It was unexpected, gentle and breathtaking, and that made me vanish from this world to a stupid, colorful romantic one. And the truth is, I didn't wanted to leave it. Billy had taken me to the climax of my life. Every time I remembered Billy's kiss I suddenly forgot he was a gang lord and a feared person. How can someone so gentle and sweet- ok, he's not that sweet but he's so charming, be a tough, rude, powerful criminal? Let's face it, he was doing illegal things, I mean, my uncle took drugs from him.... MY UNCLE! Bob! Dang it! I wanted to kill him for selling that shit and for being what we least needed, another Edward.

I decided to call Paul and to get the new updates of his life. He told me that Grandma won a fishing competition but she passes out frequently. That worried me a little. I talked to Grandma and she reassured me that her status was fine and requested a painting from me. I was excited to make her a painting, Grandma was the one who pushed me to exploit my talent and to pursue my dream. Paul asked me if I wanted to talk to Bob, and I refused to.

The day went by, and I was feeling blithely. I decided to paint Grandma's painting, so I ordered my tools, in what used to be Paul and Emma's bedroom. Our old room was now my studio. I dressed in my painted overall with a tight white t-shirt and my painted Converse. Since I was on a dreamy mood, I turned on the CD/radio, pressed volume to max and had a sing-along with the song "At the beginning". That was my favorite song from all times. Since I saw "Disney: Anastasia" I went crazy for that song, I loved it, and it gave me hope for love. And now, more than ever, had faith in love, I knew that maybe, maybe I was falling for him. Actually Billy wasn't my type. I liked guys with long hair and with sweet smiles, like Harlan, the guy from "Georgia Rule". Sadly, those types of guys ended up being a priest or a deacon. I never imagined that I will kiss a person like Billy, he was rough, dangerous, and cold. But something inside me tells me that that gang lord is not the Billy I like, but the strong and overwhelming Billy I met last night. But... which one was the real one and which one was the mask? It doesn't matter, because I have plenty of time to find out.

"We were strangers, starting out on a journey.
Never dreaming what we’d have to go through.
Now here we are, and I’m suddenly standing,
at the beginning with you," I sang with all my heart when the song started.

I set the white canvas, cleaned the brushes, and stared at the deep white of the canvas. In that moment my mind went in blank. I got thirsty and went to the kitchen . Filled a cup with water, and I drank it while I was admiring the view of my living room, and I remembered when Billy observed the painting "The Girl Who Lived in a Windmill". I loved that painting and I made it with Mr. Ottolio when he dared me to create a metaphor. It was one of my first paintings under Mr. Ottolio's guidance. Suddenly, it stroked me. What if the lover of the girl, who lived in the windmill, came? What if he saved her? What if he took the shame in her and they lived happy together? BOW! I started painting using bright colors and cheerful brush strokes where executed. Within four hours the canvas met "The Love Who Saved Her Windmill", which was the title I gave to my new painting. It wasn't finished, only details were left. The painting was delightful, it had the same windmill but the girl was hugging a man and her eyes were blue, while she hugged him he kissed her forehead and the windmill was rolling with joy, the environment was blissful and bright. In other words, it was the opposite of the original one, but I wasn't thinking when I painted it, I made that unconsciously for myself. But why?

I was tired from standing all day painting, I put "At the beginning" for the 123th time and I sang it out loud, "And life is a road and I wanna to keep going, love is a river I wanna keep flowing ,life is a road now and forever wonderful journey!"

The bell rang inconsistently, so I turned off the radio and went downstairs. I looked through the front door hallway window and saw Aubrey. "How does she know where I live?" I questioned a little bit freaked out. Nevertheless, I opened the door.

"Hey! How are you?! Listen, I'm really sorry for last night," said Aubrey as I welcomed her with a hug.

"What? Oh, yes, you left me on that bar alone," I responded with a sad frown expression.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Emma. But from what I heard, you weren't that alone," she said as she examined my home.

"What?" I asked blushing.

"Nice place! Oh, Billy gave me your address, I'm not a stalker. Don't freak out!"

"Ah, hehe, it's ok. You are my friend, mi casa is your home," I said as we got upstairs.

"Thanks!" giggled Aubrey.

"So, do you want anything to drink?" I asked while she sat on the kitchen stools.

"Ok," she shrugged.

"Want a coffee, juice or maybe... ice cream?!" I asked as I waggled the ice cream container to Aubrey.

"Hmm.... I want a Billy Darley with whip cream, chocolate syrup and with a cherry on top of his bald head," she jested, as we both burst out laughing loudly.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked grinning .

"What? Oh my God, you are blushing?!"

"Wha-what? No! What the hell?" I responded as I covered my cheeks with my hands.

"Haha, yeah, you are so blushing, right now. Why you didn't told me you were dating him?"

"Because, I'm not dating him."

"That's not what he told me," she said in teasing tone.

"He told you something?" I asked curiously and then she raised her eyebrow, "I mean, cool, you spoke to him."

I tried to pretend but I was busted anyways. We took our ice cream cups and went to the living room to sit down.

"Yeah! He told me that tonight he was going to be in the Four Roses at eight o' clock and wanted you there. He totally wants you. And you do too, like duh, who wouldn't want that bad boy served on whip cream?" she joked as I smiled.

"Ok, you got me. But is complicated. I don't know, I like him but he's not that open to me as I wished," I confessed her.

"Oh, honey, that takes time. You guys started dating. Just... just watch out. If anything happens, know that I'm here for you," she said warmly as I looked at her knowing what she meant. Billy was a ladies man, and I could be one more on his long list.

"Thank you, Aubrey."

"No problem! Cool painting! You are really talented," she pointed with her finger to the famous painting of the girl in the windmill.

"Thanks!"

"Did you fucked with him?" she asked with narrowed eyes and a mouth filled with ice cream, she looked funny and her question was awkward. So I snickered and so did she.

"Does he fuck good?"

"Aubrey!!"

"What? I'm just asking. Girl, he's... his.... I mean, he's well equipped down there. I'm just saying."

"Aubrey!!! Gosh! Did you saw his penis?"

"C'mon, Emma, you don't need a magnifying glass to see that monster," she was too funny, too funny!

We laughed and at the same time we bonded. I felt comfortable talking about him with her. Thank God, 'cause I wasn't planning telling Grandma nor Paul, the one who could knew about him was Bob, but I didn't wanted to tell him, I was too mad at him.

"Geez, Aubrey! No, we haven't got there. We are taking things.... slow."

"Oh, ok! Well, honey, prepare yourself. 'Cause you are gonna have a blast with Billy and his massive little friend," she said laughing, while I rolled my eyes and hit her gently in the head.

"Oh, Emma, you better be dressed up by 7'o clock. Heco and I will come to pick you up."

"Ok. Heco? Who's Heco?"

"My boyfriend and the reason why I abandoned you last night. So give him thanks later. We'll come in Tommy's car. Oh, Heco and Tommy are Billy's boys. You know what I mean."

"Oh, ok. Got it."

"Well, I gotta go. Have to baby-sit. See ya at around seven or eight!" she yelled as I said goodbye to her in the front door.

Billy's boys? Oh, his gang. At least I could talk openly to Aubrey about Billy, since her boyfriend was on the same "ship", or worked in the same "Office".

It was 7:16 o' clock and I was dressed in a silk orange button shirt with black tight jeans and a pair of black leather boots(without heels). I made a bun in my hair and when I was putting perfume over me, the door bell ring.

"Aubrey!" I thought and went running downstairs. And when I opened the door, I saw a beautiful Aubrey with a yellow cocktail dress and a beautiful make-up on her face.

"What the hell, Emma? We are not going to a fucking Rebecca Black concert. Get upstairs now!" she ordered me as I did what she told me, "Heco, baby, stay here."

She entered the house and followed me to my bedroom. She hunted for a dress in my closet as I sat down in my bed watching her.

"This one, this one will make Billy more wild than he is," she said with a blue short cocktail dress that my Grandma gave me for my birthday. Believe it or not, my Grandma was a ferocious senior citizen, she loved zebra prints and leather stuff.

"But, Aubrey, it's only a bar. Why should I get formally dressed up?"

"Just try it on!" she gave me the dress and pushed me to the bathroom while she waited at my bed.

I got out and the dress wasn't that short, as I thought it would be, it had some grey lace in the chest area, and it had only one strap. The dress embraced my waist and curves and I liked how I looked in it, but I thought it was too much.

"What do you think?" I asked her as I walked towards her.

"Honey, when he set eyes on you, he’ll want to fuck you right there. You look so hot!" she exclaimed and we both twirled in happiness.

I applied some make-up and painted my lips with lipgloss.

We went downstairs and took our jackets as we left the house. I locked the front door and Aubrey presented me Heco. He was the man who attended me in the "Office".

"Hey, how you doin'? Looking good for Billy, eh?" he said as he grabbed Aubrey from the hand and then kissed her. They got into the car and so did I. I sat in the back with Aubrey.

"Tommy boy, this is Emma, a friend. Emma this is Tommy," said Aubrey as she poked his shoulder.

He was inhaling some coke and had a tattoo on his face, and Heco did too in the back of his head. They were clannish, and I remembered Billy's, although his tattoos were more striking than the other’s. I wonder if he has all his back with the same tattoo.

"Hey," said Tommy as he turned to the back seat to see me. He double gazed and I felt really uncomfortable, "Oh, well, hello there. Aren't you a pretty one? I'm Tommy, nice dress!".

"I already told her that, shithead! And don't even try to hit on her. Billy asked for her," said Aubrey making me feel safer.

"She a whore?" Tommy asked looking at Aubrey and Heco.

"Hell no!" I yelled angrily.

What's with these men? They think every woman is a hooker?

"Damn it! Why Billy has fucking luck with women?" asked to himself the distressing Tommy.

"'Cause he's bald," said Heco patting his bald head.

"You got that right, son!" shouted Aubrey as she leaned to Heco and passionately kissed him.

Tommy pressed gas and in five minutes we were on the Four Roses. Aubrey was hugging Heco when we entered and Tommy was behind them so I was the last to enter for the door. Some men where leering at me but I ignored them and continued my way. Nobody touched me, and all because of Billy's gang. Just walking with two of them made everybody kept a distance. The boys and Aubrey lead me to the back private room for them. They entered and I was the last one to enter. My jacket got stuck with some metallic thing that was in the door, thank God the boys and Aubrey were hiding me. They greeted everyone in there and I got my jacket off and left it hanging were it got trapped. I fixed my dress and my heels and strolled behind them. Billy sat in the mini bar stool and he was without his jacket. He had a black shirt with long sleeves that were rolled up, and showed his tattoos with the same pattern of the ones on his neck. He was laughing and was talking to a man with a dark cap that was next to him. I walked smoothly towards him and Aubrey wanted to see his reaction so she stood next to me. Then Billy turned his head to my direction and saw me. His eyes were abruptly wide opened, his posture was authoritative and dominant when he stood up. His arms where immobile and his eyeballs were popping out. He leered and put his hands on his waist, his body language yelled obedience and was demanding me to go where he was. I was going to walk to where he was when a young man, almost my age came in front of me.

“Hi, I’m Joe. Are you alone tonight, baby?” said this man who had a baby face and tattoos on his neck, he had his hair dyed black red and wore a red leather jacket.

Billy saw this and quickly got to where I was. He stood next to my right and grabbed my hand.

“Fuck off, Joe. Go and get a fucking whore! She’s with me," he barked at the dude who had a smile on his face all the time. Billy gave him some money and he gently pulled me with his hand and introduced me to the gang.

“This is Bodie, Dog, Jamie, Baggy, Spink, Joe, and Tommy and Heco, which I think you have met," said Billy grasping my hand warmly and tenderly.

“Hello, I’m Emma," I greeted trying to be as calm as possible.

“Nice to see you again," said Bodie, the tall dark man with a weird tattooed beard and a black leather beanie.

“Yo," said the man with the dark cap.

“How’s it goin’?” greeted me Jamie, the firmly and tough looking man with a black bandana.

The Spink guy moved his head back and I greeted him, while Tommy and Heco smiled at me. Billy grabbed me by the waist and I blushed. He gazed at me and the only thing I could do was bat my eyelashes. We sat with the boys and I was on Billy’s left side, he put his arm around me making me feel cozy and safe. I snuggled, and smelled his cologne, his masculine and alluring cologne. I couldn’t stop smiling. Then I remembered the first time I saw him one year and a half year ago. He was so enthralling when he was walking in the street, and now that striking man was treating me like I was his woman. I felt delirious and glad.

Some waitress came and handed out shots of liquor, which I couldn’t identify, to everyone. Billy took mine and I asked for lemonade. Everybody stared at me with scornful eyes, everyone except Billy, and I felt ridiculously out of place. The guys talked about their “work”.

“Yo, we need to change the fucking storage area, dawg," said Bodie.

“Yeah, Billy. Recently there are some fucking coppers passing by lately," said Tommy.

“Did they copped someone?” asked, Spink, I think.

“Of course not! They shit themselves if they walked to our area," responded Jamie.

“If they did will blip ‘em off! Those motherfuckers!” exclaimed Baggy.

“Would you fucking ladies relax? Bones gave us a new corner, it’s fucking paid off," growled Billy twirling my hair, that was aside, with his finger.

I wasn’t understanding all the gangster slang and didn’t wanted to either, so I just snuggled in Billy’s arm. Aubrey suddenly disappeared and also Heco, so I knew they were busy.

“You a chippy? I mean, what‘s your job? If you have one," Joe asked me smiling.

I didn‘t understand at first . What the hell is chippy? And by the reaction of Billy, that couldn’t be a good thing. Billy hit Joe in the back of his head. Billy’s arms are really long, I didn’t even saw when he hit him I only saw Joe, who was next to me, rubbing his head and his neck with a scowl.

“What?!! Fuck, Billy! You always punch me!” complained Joe.

“Fucking shithead! Stop crying!” Billy said with a weird warm and joking tone, then he made a gesture to Joe.

“I’m sorry, Emma," Joe apologized, still rubbing his head.

“For what?” I asked guilelessly.

Everybody stared and snickered. That’s round two for the embarrassment fight.

“Oh, don’t worry. Eh, I’m a painter,” I tried to pulled it off.

“A painter? Woo! Do you need any nude models?” asked Joe while Billy’s eyes made him think before talk.

“I don’t do that. I’m into plastic arts. But thanks for the offer.”

“Oh, no! It wasn’t for me, it’s Billy who’s the excited one to be your model!” Joe jested while everybody snickered.

I smiled at Billy, he only snorted and inhale the cigarette smoke. Then he whispered something to my ear something. I couldn’t hear so I leaned to him. He then licked my ear and I felt my heart racing, and diminutive needles poking me around my body. My hands became sweaty and I wanted to kiss him but I just smiled at him. I looked at him smoking his cigarette and with a smirk on his face. He was looking at me while he exhaled the cloud of smoke. We gazed at each other with desire in our eyes, and he leered. I blushed and looked down at my lap when suddenly he grabbed my hand and gave it a kiss. Then he agreed to laid our hands in my lap. I swear he was driving me crazy. He knew how to win over a woman‘s heart, he could tempt me to do anything. He always had a daring tone, and a soft but enticing touch. I wanted to jump on him and liberate a freaking wild animal that had been imprisoned for years. Aubrey had a sick perverted mind, and her jokes and comments were stroking me. As soon as I stared at our hands who rested in my lap, I took the opportunity to swiftly gaze at his lap (you know what I mean) and she was so right! I shook my head to stir the lusty thoughts in my mind. I looked back at Billy and he fixed his eyes on me and gave me a wink. Oh, yes, I was in heaven, that gloomy, shadowy, and sinister bar became my piece of heaven. With Billy by my side I felt that ecstasy(as well as my self) were at his feet.