Love within Ashes
Chapter 9: Balloons!
Chapter 9: Balloons!
“No! No! No! Billy! No! Don‘t do it!” I screamed to a Billy who was pointing the head of a man with a gun.
“Then you do it," said Billy with icy lifeless eyes.
Next to the terrified man with white eyes, was a woman who was wailing and shrieking, next to her was a young man who yelled angry at himself and punched his chest in madness, and next to the young man was another boy who sat on his knees smiling at everybody. I was freaked out. Who were these people!?! I saw Billy and he was bleeding. I tried to check his wound but he rejected me, coldly. I bent my knees and pleaded to be spared. Billy shot the boy who was punching himself, when I looked at him he had a knife on his hand and cursed me out. The place was like a madhouse, we were all dressed in white, except the guy who was smiling all the time, he was dressed in yellow. Billy lifted me up from the floor and kissed my cheek handing me a wooden gun. I took it and I pointed the wailing woman. I was shaking but I couldn’t control myself. I was shivering but my hand pointed her head cynically and firmly. The insane woman had her face covered by her hair and she rocked herself while she wailed. I wanted to hug that mad woman, she reminded me of my mother, my crazy and coward mother.
“Do it! You can do this!” Billy whispered to my ear.
Something possessed me and I nodded and stared unaltered at her. I raised the wooden gun and I easily and quickly pulled the trigger. The woman fell to the floor at the same time the man in yellow did. But the man who was dressed in yellow, started to bleed, his throat was open and bleed uncontrollably. The man with white eyes wandered the room, by the way he touched the walls I knew that he was blind. I stared at Billy and he whispered, “That’s my-”, the man with white eyes screamed and shouted loudly and in pain, and I couldn’t hear Billy’s words. Billy was going to kiss me when suddenly he fell to the floor, he was bleeding and groaning in pain. The man with white eyes shot him twice. I didn’t know how but he had the wooden gun and glared at Billy, but how? He supposed to be blind. I knelt next to Billy and grasped his hand, he kissed my hand as he grunted in agony. I cried, I cried so hard. Then the man with white eyes touched my head with the wooden gun, he charged it.
“Ready?” he asked as I closed my eyes to receive my death.
POOM!! POOM!!!!
The loud bang woke me up from my creepy nightmare. My heart was racing as I touched my chest to calm my essence. I sighed relieved that it was dream. “It was not real, it was not real, only a dream, " I muttered to soothe my anxiety.
POOM!!! POOM!!!!
I jumped out of my bed in panic. I was scared, too scared. I inhaled and then exhaled as I stood up and went to my window. The noise and bang were my neighbor’s hammering. He was an old man trying to hammer a bird house. I sighed once again, when my cell phone vibrated. I went to my night stand and grabbed my phone. It was a text from Paul. He wrote, “Web cam NOW!” I did as he commanded and turned on the computer. I connected to the internet and turned on my web cam. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I signed in to my account and instantly received a video call from Paul. I accepted it and as soon as we connected I saw Paul, Grandma and Bob.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they shouted at the same time.
They were all on a bed and Grandma was in the center, I could tell that she had been resting theses days because she didn’t had any make-up on and she had a pony tail. They were happy and that made me happy too.
“Hey, guys! Thank you!” I replied shyly. Today was my birthday and I totally forgot.
“How are you, sunshine?” asked my Grandma with a sweet smile.
“I’m great, Grandma. How are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
“Grandma I will send you the painting," I promised trying to lift up her spirits.
“Oh, sunshine, you already did. Last week, I found your first painting. Remember? The sun? It reminded me of you, sunshine," she always called me sunshine. I made “The sun” when I wanted to prove my ex-boyfriend that I could paint.
“Hey, pig! Gosh, you are freaking old! 22, Emma?” said my annoying Paul.
“Hey, piece of pie. And I’ve just started to live my live, so hush!”
“I got the cake! Hi, Emma," said warmly my uncle, and by the warmness I knew that he had been thinking things over and that made me feel better.
“Hi, Bob!” I replied smiling.
“Finally! Why you guys were mad at each other?” asked Paul as he frowned.
“You, guys, were mad at each other? Oh, dear!” expressed Grandma.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Now, birthday girl, blow the candles. And make a wish!” exclaimed Bob as he laid down the cake in front of the cam.
“Ok!” I laughed and blew my web cam while Paul blew the candles. It made me feel at home, that was what I totally needed.
That freaking spooky nightmare made me forget my own birthday! Anyways, I wished for my Grandma to be healthier and better.
“YAY!” everybody cheered.
“Emma, sunshine, did you find a young boy?” asked curiously.
“Who would want to date her?” joked my brother while Bob punched his shoulder.
“Paul, at least I don’t pay and-”
“HUSH!, ok, ok," exclaimed Paul anxious, interrupting me. I knew about the hooker thing so I was going to get him back by unzipping everything.
“Well, Grandma, there is someone," I responded blushing.
“Oh, my! For Peter Sake’s!” she exclaimed in joy.
“He better treat you right or I’ll go to Boston and beat his ass in no time," Paul huffed.
“Do I know him, Emma?” Bob asked interested.
“Yes, I’m sure you have met him before.”
“Is he handsome?” asked Grandma while my brother rolled his eyes.
“Very, very handsome, Grandma," I confessed her while she moved her hands in delight.
“Uh-oh! I hope he doesn’t end up being a deacon! Haha!” Paul teased while Bob gave him a high five.
“What’s his name?” asked Bob.
“Billy. Hey! I thought this was my birthday," I tried to change the subject. But Bob stood quiet and thoughtful.
“Billy Harrison? Billy Nixon? Billy Kenwood? or Billy Hurston?” asked Bob intrigued by the Billy.
“Darley, Billy Darley. Grandma, will you, please, cut the cake?” I managed to change the subject one more time.
Bob stood shocked, flabbergasted, astonished, amazed and silent. Poor of him, I am now dating what used to be his boss, the one who threat him to make him pay his money. For Bob, Billy meant only one thing, “pay the debt or you are dead”.
“Sure, sunshine. It’ll be my pleasure," she said delighted, as always. She cut the cake and Paul ate a piece. Paul offered Bob some but he rejected it.
“Uncle Bob, are you all right? Eat some cake! Bob, please, enjoy it in my behalf," I said with all the intention.
Bob was in shocked, I mean, I haven’t seen him like that since never. He nodded and ate the piece of cake. I said goodbye to them and then we ended up the call.
I called Aubrey to tell her that today is my birthday. I’ve always hated birthday parties, but I wanted to make one, to spend more time with my new friends.
“Hello?” answered Aubrey.
"Hey! Aubrey! It’s me, Emma!”
“Oh! I forgot I gave you my phone number! Hey! What’s up? Hehe, thanks for calling me, you just earned me a trip to your house.”
“I think you have to come anyways.”
“Why?”
“Today is my birthday.”
“ No way! Awesome! You are going to make a party, right?”
“Yeah, that’s why I need your help.”
“Ok! No problemo, I’ll be there in no time!”
“Ok I’ll wait for ya!”
“Hooray! Ok, bye!”
“Bye!”
I changed my pajamas and cleaned the place a little bit. Just when I was cleaning the dishes, the door bell rang and I went downstairs to receive Aubrey.
“Happy Birthday! Girl, I bought these balloons! They were on sale! Oh, and I have ribbons! And I brought you a gorgeous mini dress!” said all at once a hyper Aubrey.
Aubrey and I decorated the house with balloons and ribbons. I made a cake with Grandma’s recipe and Aubrey ordered pizza and went to buy beers as well.
“Now, all we need are the guests," I said to myself while I waited for Aubrey.
I decided to call Billy, it was the first time I will call him, so I was nervous. I thought about the dream, and my decision. I decided that just like in the dream, I will die next to him if it was necessary. Even if I became a cynical murderer, I wanted to be with him. Maybe I was born to be with him. Maybe that’s why I didn’t fit in in society. Maybe that’s why I had all those troubles. To meet him, to understand him, to love him, just the way he was. I gained the courage and dialed his phone number, Aubrey gave it to me.
“C’mon, pick it up. I won’t call you again, so pick it up," I argued with the phone.
“Yes?” answered a deep captivating voice.
“Yes, hello, with Billy Darley," I replied.
“Who the fuck is this?”
“It’s.... Emma, Emma Collins.”
My gosh, I am so naive. I had my chance to flirt, and it’s now... gone.
“Hello, Billy?”
He didn’t answered.
“Oh, ok, well. Sorry for bothering you. Have a nice day," I hung up.
I felt like crying. Why I was expecting a sweet romantic phone chat? Why? Why? I was so pathetic. I should have said , “Yo, it’s Emma. At 7 o’ clock it’s my birthday party, so you better be here. Got it? And buy me a fucking bouquet of roses, white ones. Later!”
I used my superpower. I hold all the tears that were going to inundate my apartment. The door bell rang and I opened the door.
“Ok, so I bought five boxes of beer. I think the boys will drink it in half an hour. Did you called Billy?” she said while she prepared things in the kitchen.
I was sitting on the kitchen stool and had my head in the counter and buried in my arms,
“What’s wrong? Did that bitch said something to you?”
“He doesn’t like me, Aubrey! That’s what’s wrong. And I’m so stupid to think that I had a chance with him,” I said while I raised my hands to the air, in sign of defeat.
“Oh, don’t say that. Did you saw the look on his face when he saw you on that blue dress? He went crazy for ya. He likes you, Emma.”
“No he doesn’t. When I called him, he didn’t even say hi.”
“Emma, can I ask you a question?” said Aubrey with a more serious look.
“What?”
“Did you guys had sex?”
“Aubrey!!!”
“I’m sorry, I just need to know. Your answer is critical, honey, I need to know.”
“No! He didn’t even fucked me. That much he hates me?” I cried.
“He didn’t fucked you? My Lord, he really wants you.”
“What are you saying?”
“Gosh, Emma, you are so innocent. Maybe you don’t understand because you haven’t dated a gangster before. Emma, have you ever dated?”
“Yes, once I dated a guy who’s now a deacon," I confessed with sadness.
Aubrey couldn’t control the snicker and burst out laughing her head off.
“You dated a deacon?! What the hell? No wonder!”
I glared at her.
“I’m sorry! Look, Emma, the voice of experience is now talking. I know how a man feels, especially a gangster. When a man waits, or takes things slow with a woman, who’s not a whore, that means that he really cares for her. If he’d already fucked you and was behaving like this, I would say: Sorry, Emma. He wasn’t the right guy, that’s all. You’ll find a good guy. Or something like that.”
“But Aubrey-”
“Don’t ‘but’ me! I’m much efficient that your conscience, ok. And if he treated you coldly over the phone, maybe it was because he was working, doing his work. You know what I mean. Heco does that to me all the time. When he is in the Office or in a corner, he treats me like shit, so that’s why I don’t call him by day.”
“Did Heco waited for you?”
“Fuck no! That bastard took me as his whore, but now I have him here, honey, on the palm of my hand," she said as she patted her palm, and I laughed.
“You are falling in love with him," she said convinced.
“What? No! I just know him for like a week. I‘m just emotional, that‘s all.”
“You are insecure about the relationship you have with him. You care that much for him that you never judged him neither the people who’s around him. Heco confessed me that the boys liked you. He said that you treated them like any other human being, not as repulsive animals.”
“He said that? They like me?”
Aubrey nodded.
“Will he come?”
“Let’s bet on it.”
“I don’t gamble.”
“If he doesn’t come I’ll take you shopping. If he comes, you take me shopping. Deal?”
“Deal!” I said firmly as I shook Aubrey’s hand, “Thanks. You lifted my spirits.”
“I told you I’ll always had your back. Now excuse me, I’ll invite Heco and the gang.”
She called Heco and invited him to my house tonight, he accepted to come to the party, he said that they will be late and wished me happy birthday. It was weird, suddenly I felt like it was normal, it was normal that a gangster wished you the best on your birthday. But I didn’t knew if Billy will come, but I hoped that he will. I just hope....
“No! No! No! Billy! No! Don‘t do it!” I screamed to a Billy who was pointing the head of a man with a gun.
“Then you do it," said Billy with icy lifeless eyes.
Next to the terrified man with white eyes, was a woman who was wailing and shrieking, next to her was a young man who yelled angry at himself and punched his chest in madness, and next to the young man was another boy who sat on his knees smiling at everybody. I was freaked out. Who were these people!?! I saw Billy and he was bleeding. I tried to check his wound but he rejected me, coldly. I bent my knees and pleaded to be spared. Billy shot the boy who was punching himself, when I looked at him he had a knife on his hand and cursed me out. The place was like a madhouse, we were all dressed in white, except the guy who was smiling all the time, he was dressed in yellow. Billy lifted me up from the floor and kissed my cheek handing me a wooden gun. I took it and I pointed the wailing woman. I was shaking but I couldn’t control myself. I was shivering but my hand pointed her head cynically and firmly. The insane woman had her face covered by her hair and she rocked herself while she wailed. I wanted to hug that mad woman, she reminded me of my mother, my crazy and coward mother.
“Do it! You can do this!” Billy whispered to my ear.
Something possessed me and I nodded and stared unaltered at her. I raised the wooden gun and I easily and quickly pulled the trigger. The woman fell to the floor at the same time the man in yellow did. But the man who was dressed in yellow, started to bleed, his throat was open and bleed uncontrollably. The man with white eyes wandered the room, by the way he touched the walls I knew that he was blind. I stared at Billy and he whispered, “That’s my-”, the man with white eyes screamed and shouted loudly and in pain, and I couldn’t hear Billy’s words. Billy was going to kiss me when suddenly he fell to the floor, he was bleeding and groaning in pain. The man with white eyes shot him twice. I didn’t know how but he had the wooden gun and glared at Billy, but how? He supposed to be blind. I knelt next to Billy and grasped his hand, he kissed my hand as he grunted in agony. I cried, I cried so hard. Then the man with white eyes touched my head with the wooden gun, he charged it.
“Ready?” he asked as I closed my eyes to receive my death.
POOM!! POOM!!!!
The loud bang woke me up from my creepy nightmare. My heart was racing as I touched my chest to calm my essence. I sighed relieved that it was dream. “It was not real, it was not real, only a dream, " I muttered to soothe my anxiety.
POOM!!! POOM!!!!
I jumped out of my bed in panic. I was scared, too scared. I inhaled and then exhaled as I stood up and went to my window. The noise and bang were my neighbor’s hammering. He was an old man trying to hammer a bird house. I sighed once again, when my cell phone vibrated. I went to my night stand and grabbed my phone. It was a text from Paul. He wrote, “Web cam NOW!” I did as he commanded and turned on the computer. I connected to the internet and turned on my web cam. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I signed in to my account and instantly received a video call from Paul. I accepted it and as soon as we connected I saw Paul, Grandma and Bob.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they shouted at the same time.
They were all on a bed and Grandma was in the center, I could tell that she had been resting theses days because she didn’t had any make-up on and she had a pony tail. They were happy and that made me happy too.
“Hey, guys! Thank you!” I replied shyly. Today was my birthday and I totally forgot.
“How are you, sunshine?” asked my Grandma with a sweet smile.
“I’m great, Grandma. How are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
“Grandma I will send you the painting," I promised trying to lift up her spirits.
“Oh, sunshine, you already did. Last week, I found your first painting. Remember? The sun? It reminded me of you, sunshine," she always called me sunshine. I made “The sun” when I wanted to prove my ex-boyfriend that I could paint.
“Hey, pig! Gosh, you are freaking old! 22, Emma?” said my annoying Paul.
“Hey, piece of pie. And I’ve just started to live my live, so hush!”
“I got the cake! Hi, Emma," said warmly my uncle, and by the warmness I knew that he had been thinking things over and that made me feel better.
“Hi, Bob!” I replied smiling.
“Finally! Why you guys were mad at each other?” asked Paul as he frowned.
“You, guys, were mad at each other? Oh, dear!” expressed Grandma.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Now, birthday girl, blow the candles. And make a wish!” exclaimed Bob as he laid down the cake in front of the cam.
“Ok!” I laughed and blew my web cam while Paul blew the candles. It made me feel at home, that was what I totally needed.
That freaking spooky nightmare made me forget my own birthday! Anyways, I wished for my Grandma to be healthier and better.
“YAY!” everybody cheered.
“Emma, sunshine, did you find a young boy?” asked curiously.
“Who would want to date her?” joked my brother while Bob punched his shoulder.
“Paul, at least I don’t pay and-”
“HUSH!, ok, ok," exclaimed Paul anxious, interrupting me. I knew about the hooker thing so I was going to get him back by unzipping everything.
“Well, Grandma, there is someone," I responded blushing.
“Oh, my! For Peter Sake’s!” she exclaimed in joy.
“He better treat you right or I’ll go to Boston and beat his ass in no time," Paul huffed.
“Do I know him, Emma?” Bob asked interested.
“Yes, I’m sure you have met him before.”
“Is he handsome?” asked Grandma while my brother rolled his eyes.
“Very, very handsome, Grandma," I confessed her while she moved her hands in delight.
“Uh-oh! I hope he doesn’t end up being a deacon! Haha!” Paul teased while Bob gave him a high five.
“What’s his name?” asked Bob.
“Billy. Hey! I thought this was my birthday," I tried to change the subject. But Bob stood quiet and thoughtful.
“Billy Harrison? Billy Nixon? Billy Kenwood? or Billy Hurston?” asked Bob intrigued by the Billy.
“Darley, Billy Darley. Grandma, will you, please, cut the cake?” I managed to change the subject one more time.
Bob stood shocked, flabbergasted, astonished, amazed and silent. Poor of him, I am now dating what used to be his boss, the one who threat him to make him pay his money. For Bob, Billy meant only one thing, “pay the debt or you are dead”.
“Sure, sunshine. It’ll be my pleasure," she said delighted, as always. She cut the cake and Paul ate a piece. Paul offered Bob some but he rejected it.
“Uncle Bob, are you all right? Eat some cake! Bob, please, enjoy it in my behalf," I said with all the intention.
Bob was in shocked, I mean, I haven’t seen him like that since never. He nodded and ate the piece of cake. I said goodbye to them and then we ended up the call.
I called Aubrey to tell her that today is my birthday. I’ve always hated birthday parties, but I wanted to make one, to spend more time with my new friends.
“Hello?” answered Aubrey.
"Hey! Aubrey! It’s me, Emma!”
“Oh! I forgot I gave you my phone number! Hey! What’s up? Hehe, thanks for calling me, you just earned me a trip to your house.”
“I think you have to come anyways.”
“Why?”
“Today is my birthday.”
“ No way! Awesome! You are going to make a party, right?”
“Yeah, that’s why I need your help.”
“Ok! No problemo, I’ll be there in no time!”
“Ok I’ll wait for ya!”
“Hooray! Ok, bye!”
“Bye!”
I changed my pajamas and cleaned the place a little bit. Just when I was cleaning the dishes, the door bell rang and I went downstairs to receive Aubrey.
“Happy Birthday! Girl, I bought these balloons! They were on sale! Oh, and I have ribbons! And I brought you a gorgeous mini dress!” said all at once a hyper Aubrey.
Aubrey and I decorated the house with balloons and ribbons. I made a cake with Grandma’s recipe and Aubrey ordered pizza and went to buy beers as well.
“Now, all we need are the guests," I said to myself while I waited for Aubrey.
I decided to call Billy, it was the first time I will call him, so I was nervous. I thought about the dream, and my decision. I decided that just like in the dream, I will die next to him if it was necessary. Even if I became a cynical murderer, I wanted to be with him. Maybe I was born to be with him. Maybe that’s why I didn’t fit in in society. Maybe that’s why I had all those troubles. To meet him, to understand him, to love him, just the way he was. I gained the courage and dialed his phone number, Aubrey gave it to me.
“C’mon, pick it up. I won’t call you again, so pick it up," I argued with the phone.
“Yes?” answered a deep captivating voice.
“Yes, hello, with Billy Darley," I replied.
“Who the fuck is this?”
“It’s.... Emma, Emma Collins.”
My gosh, I am so naive. I had my chance to flirt, and it’s now... gone.
“Hello, Billy?”
He didn’t answered.
“Oh, ok, well. Sorry for bothering you. Have a nice day," I hung up.
I felt like crying. Why I was expecting a sweet romantic phone chat? Why? Why? I was so pathetic. I should have said , “Yo, it’s Emma. At 7 o’ clock it’s my birthday party, so you better be here. Got it? And buy me a fucking bouquet of roses, white ones. Later!”
I used my superpower. I hold all the tears that were going to inundate my apartment. The door bell rang and I opened the door.
“Ok, so I bought five boxes of beer. I think the boys will drink it in half an hour. Did you called Billy?” she said while she prepared things in the kitchen.
I was sitting on the kitchen stool and had my head in the counter and buried in my arms,
“What’s wrong? Did that bitch said something to you?”
“He doesn’t like me, Aubrey! That’s what’s wrong. And I’m so stupid to think that I had a chance with him,” I said while I raised my hands to the air, in sign of defeat.
“Oh, don’t say that. Did you saw the look on his face when he saw you on that blue dress? He went crazy for ya. He likes you, Emma.”
“No he doesn’t. When I called him, he didn’t even say hi.”
“Emma, can I ask you a question?” said Aubrey with a more serious look.
“What?”
“Did you guys had sex?”
“Aubrey!!!”
“I’m sorry, I just need to know. Your answer is critical, honey, I need to know.”
“No! He didn’t even fucked me. That much he hates me?” I cried.
“He didn’t fucked you? My Lord, he really wants you.”
“What are you saying?”
“Gosh, Emma, you are so innocent. Maybe you don’t understand because you haven’t dated a gangster before. Emma, have you ever dated?”
“Yes, once I dated a guy who’s now a deacon," I confessed with sadness.
Aubrey couldn’t control the snicker and burst out laughing her head off.
“You dated a deacon?! What the hell? No wonder!”
I glared at her.
“I’m sorry! Look, Emma, the voice of experience is now talking. I know how a man feels, especially a gangster. When a man waits, or takes things slow with a woman, who’s not a whore, that means that he really cares for her. If he’d already fucked you and was behaving like this, I would say: Sorry, Emma. He wasn’t the right guy, that’s all. You’ll find a good guy. Or something like that.”
“But Aubrey-”
“Don’t ‘but’ me! I’m much efficient that your conscience, ok. And if he treated you coldly over the phone, maybe it was because he was working, doing his work. You know what I mean. Heco does that to me all the time. When he is in the Office or in a corner, he treats me like shit, so that’s why I don’t call him by day.”
“Did Heco waited for you?”
“Fuck no! That bastard took me as his whore, but now I have him here, honey, on the palm of my hand," she said as she patted her palm, and I laughed.
“You are falling in love with him," she said convinced.
“What? No! I just know him for like a week. I‘m just emotional, that‘s all.”
“You are insecure about the relationship you have with him. You care that much for him that you never judged him neither the people who’s around him. Heco confessed me that the boys liked you. He said that you treated them like any other human being, not as repulsive animals.”
“He said that? They like me?”
Aubrey nodded.
“Will he come?”
“Let’s bet on it.”
“I don’t gamble.”
“If he doesn’t come I’ll take you shopping. If he comes, you take me shopping. Deal?”
“Deal!” I said firmly as I shook Aubrey’s hand, “Thanks. You lifted my spirits.”
“I told you I’ll always had your back. Now excuse me, I’ll invite Heco and the gang.”
She called Heco and invited him to my house tonight, he accepted to come to the party, he said that they will be late and wished me happy birthday. It was weird, suddenly I felt like it was normal, it was normal that a gangster wished you the best on your birthday. But I didn’t knew if Billy will come, but I hoped that he will. I just hope....