Everyday I Think Of You

“Soph, we are here,” I heard Pat’s voice wake me up.

“Where’s here?” was my question as I rubbed my sleepy eyes.

“Winnipeg,” he replied. I looked out the window and sure enough, there we were, Canada.

“How’d you pass over the border with all of us sleeping?”

“Corey and I took care of passports, don’t worry.”

“Oh, that’s right; it’s a lot harder to get in the country then out. I forgot,” I replied sarcastically.

“Exactly, now, the kids are already inside. Corey and I are grabbing bags that are needed for the week and your stuff is staying in the car otherwise.”

“Thanks,” I got out of the van and saw my husband unloading our single suitcases. I went and gave him a hand by taking mine and my daughter’s from him. I then asked Abby to show me to our room in their house, she showed me where Ava could stay with her daughter and then mine and Corey’s room. “Abby, I have to ask you a serious question. You will probably take it offensively, but I promised I’d ask.”

“He wants to know if I cheated on him, doesn’t he?” she quietly asked as she sat on the bed.

“How’d you know?”

“Because I realized on the way up here that we haven’t been together like that since March or something,” she replied just as quietly as she had asked.

“So, I guess I would like to know too, how you got pregnant.”

“Pat’s doctor called and told me about him not being able to have kids any longer. He thought I knew. He just wanted me to know what would happen when we did actually have sex after the accident. Basically he told me that Pat would shoot blanks, there’d be no way of knowing they were blanks, but they would be. And so yes, I did cheat on Pat. I wanted another baby, could you blame me? My husband was shooting blanks and so I couldn’t have one. I decided that I would make it happen. So once I found out, I went off birth control, I figured I didn’t need it. And one night, I went out all by myself, I told Pat that I was going out with Kelly, and I just went and had a few drinks. I went home with the first guy who asked me. That night, I remember going home and feeling like one of the WAGs, it was so terrible. And I couldn’t tell him. I just couldn’t admit to what I had done because that would’ve made me feel like I was a worthless puck bunny, only after Pat after all these years for his money. So I didn’t tell you or Kelly or even Patrick. I was so upset with myself. And then when I found out two weeks ago about the baby, I cried myself to sleep while you were all away in the last series. I cried myself to sleep, I hadn’t done that since before Jr. was born because that was when we couldn’t get pregnant, and not from a lack of trying. So yes, I cheated on my husband. But now I feel like all I’ve done is ruined myself and my marriage.”

“Oh, Abby,” I wrapped her in a hug as the water works came flowing down her face. She blubbered and Corey came in with the last of our bags. I told him to not say anything with my eyes and he silently left the room. “Why didn’t you say something? I wouldn’t have judged you, you know that. Come on, I slept with Corey while I was still with Sidney. Hell, I got pregnant with Corey’s kid while engaged to Sidney Fucking Crosby. I’m the one who knows how it feels. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I knew how painful it was for you to remember that. For you to remember that you and Corey lost a baby. I couldn’t just come out and say, I followed in my best friend’s footsteps by cheating on my beloved choice of men.”

“Abby, it was way worse for you to hold it in. I would’ve gone through it a million times to help you through this.”

“Thanks, Soph. What do you think Pat’s going to say?”