As Life Found You (And Left Me)

There's a lot of anger inside people's hearts.

There's this constant anger that pushes us around, that makes us want to be better than our old man, mother, brother, sister, whoever.

I, for one, was angry when I saw her. I'd been angry before, during and after her. I was always angry. Especially at those blue eyes.

I bet, that to this day, she never, not even once, looked at me properly. Oh, she watched me alright, but she never saw me. Which kind of makes sense, considering the fact that, she too, had a lot of hate stored inside that little body. A tornado that was looked like a gust of air. I still didn't know why the wind picked up whenever she was near me.

But I wanted her. And I was even willing to face a tornado for her. I wanted to see her, just once, with her mask off. I wanted to see her back hunched. I wanted to see her messy hair, her tired face, with bags under her red, puffy eyes. I wanted to see her clothes dirty and her grades drop. I wanted to see her crying and cursing at the world, wondering why she was the only one who was suffering. I wanted to see her friends leave her one by one, and her parents stop talking to her. I wanted her to be the train wreck, not the poster child for Prozac.

I wanted her to break down.

"Still stalking her, man?" Falcon West, my half-brother, questioned from behind me. I inhaled and closed my eyes, but opened them, keeping my eyes on the newly-built house before me. With it's white paint, black gates and car parked inside, I couldn't help but get severely pissed off. I inhaled and turned around, walking ahead, on the deserted road that stretched for miles and miles.

"Fuck off, Falcon." I replied tiredly. I watched as the sun started to come up, warming everything up a bit. I started walking faster, not wanting to be caught in this snotty neighborhood. I half-hoped Falcon was behind me, but then again I could do without his constant questioning. I glanced behind me, and surely, there he was, clutching his denim jacket around himself.

Idiot. Of course you'll be cold with jeans, a flimsy T-shirt and Chucks on. It's sunrise, not sunset.

"Why are you doing this, anyway? You're some pervert or something?" He asked seriously. I rolled my eyes, still facing the road. For someone four years younger than me, he sure was cheeky.

"Blow me, kid." I said. I rubbed my eyes and threw away the cigarette I had forgotten I had. I was way past the point of explaining myself to Falcon. I didn't care what he thought. "I want to break her." I mumbled.

"What?" Falcon asked with an edge.

Oh, so he caught that.

"I said I want to break her. She fucking pisses me off, with her perfect little life and perfect little friends. Now, don't give me that look, little bro." I smirked, amused by Falcon's scowling. "I know there's some anger in there, somewhere. I'm dying to dig it up." I laughed, feeling disappointment ebbing off my brother.

Falcon understood who I was. He was the only person who knew enough about me to get that I really wasn't a good person. I wasn't a criminal, nor a delinquent. I am not talking about that kind of bad person. I'm talking about those people who search for pain wherever they go. The people who are not satisfied until something goes wrong, so they can smirk and say "I knew it". Ever since I could articulate and form a coherent sentence, I looked for victims of my judgment. Falcon was one of them, at some point. He got over it somehow, don't ask me how. But he still relapses from time to time.

I guess most people would call me a sadist. Or a masochist. Depends on which way you look at it.

"You're fucked up." He concluded, and I nodded, laughing. "Anyway, she's the smartest out of all the ones you've gone after. She won't fall into your trap." He spoke confidently and I nodded my head, obviously seeing his point.

I turned my head and looked at him sit right in front of the raising Sun. How befitting. "Want to bet on it?"

He raised his eyebrows at the question, but shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not? If you win, and break her down, I'll give you a thousand bucks. If you lose, you leave town and don't ever come back."

I widened my eyes, shocked by the words he just said. It was a bit... painful, I suppose, that he wanted to get rid of me. I wondered how I never saw the small trickle of hate in his eyes. I thought he was just a birdie, but now I can definitely see where he got his name from. I smirked. Finally. So this kid also had wrath engraved in his bones.

"Deal. Gather up your money, brother. I'll enjoy spending it on booze and hookers." I said, waving him off and walking away. I felt better when I couldn't hear his steps behind me anymore. I reached in the pocket of my jeans, looking for the cigarette pack. I pulled one out, lighted it, put it in my mouth and dragged.

Hate me, too, huh, kid? Good. That'll stop you from being such a pussy.

I exhaled, watching as the trail of smoke dissipated and reached up to touch the sky.

Give me three months, kid. Three months and she won't be the same ever again.