What If We Didn't Know

"Oh my god. Bobby?"

Gerard turned to me when I spoke. "Mikey, hon, do you know this guy?"

I blushed profusely, then looked down in my lap. "Yeah. He's my brother." I muttered almost silently, tangling my fingers together nervously. How the fuck did he find me? WHY did he find me? It's not like I was still a minor and he could take me back to fucking Chicago. And it'd been nineteen years since he last saw me; why did he even bother? We were hardly brothers. I could barely remember him, and I bet he couldn't remember me much better.

"Mikey?"

Gerard calling my name interrupted my thought process, and I looked up at him once more.

"Mikey, what do you mean, he's your brother? Your family died in a fire." Gerard watched me with confusion, reaching out to squeeze my hand between his.

"No they didn't; that's just what I told Mom so she didn't send me back home. I wanted to stay with Frankie," I found myself near tears as I finally admitted to the lie I'd told all those years ago, although I couldn't fathom why. I just had the feeling that Bobby finding me meant something very, very bad.

"Are you fucking serious?" Frank exclaimed from the other side of the room. "Holy shit, Mikey, do you have any idea how much trouble Mom could've gotten into if you'd been found? People would've thought she'd kidnapped you!"

"I know, I know," I whispered, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Shut the fuck up, Frankie, he was just a kid and didn't realize what he was doing," Gerard snapped fiercely, arms curling protectively around my body. "And aren't you glad he did it? If he'd stayed in Where-ever-the-hell-ville we'd never have met him. We would never have been the Belleville Trio of Terror, you wouldn't have a brother, I wouldn't have a fiancee, and life just wouldn't be right."

"No, I know," Frank huffed exasperatedly, "it's just... Jesus fuck, Mikey!"

"Fuck off, Frank," Gerard hissed, stroking my hair.

"Listen, guys," Bobby interjected, looking frightened at this outburst. "We're not going to file a law suit or something, I promise. I saw your engagement announcement in the newspaper and we wanted to find out if it really was you. We just needed some closure. And Mikey, if you'd visit with Mom and Dad they'd be extremely grateful, although seeing as you're adopted anyway I guess they really don't have any sort of relationship with you other than the four years they had custody of you."

"I could visit, I guess. You all could come to my wedding, if you're okay with the fact that I'm marrying another man and hold on what do you mean, I'm adopted?" I stared at him, squinting slightly as I tried to make sense of his words.

"Mom and Dad adopted you just before you turned one," Bobby explained, flipping his blonde fringe from his face. I saw Frank eyeing him hungrily and figured I'd have to try and set them up once we'd cleared up all this confusion. "It's kinda funny, actually; your birth family is from around here. Well, Jersey, but the part of Jersey that's pretty much New York. Mom and Dad thought it was pretty weird that you found your way back here even though you didn't know this is where you're originally from."

"And just who are my birth parents?" I whispered. To think; they could've been next door or in the town one over or just down the road.

"I don't know their names. All I know is that your father lost his job about a year before you were born. They were already struggling to support themselves and their other son, so they decided to give you up for adoption. Mom and Dad found them through the newspaper I think and that's how you came to us."

"Other son? So I have another brother out there? So I have said mystery brother, Frankie, AND you? Jesus Christ, who's next?" I turned to Gerard. "Are you my brother too?" I fell back into the couch, face in my hands, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. "Bobby, could you please call your mom and dad up and ask them who my birth parents are?" I requested quietly.

Gerard relayed my question to Bobby; apparently he didn't hear. A moment later I heard phone buttons being pressed, then Bobby's voice saying, "hey, Mom. Yeah, it's him."

I rolled my eyes and flopped into Gerard's side. He planted a kiss in my hair and pulled me close. I took a deep breath and snuggled my face into him. Just his presence alone soothed me. I was so glad he was here with me through this.

"What? Are you sure?" Bobby's voice caught my attention once more. "That can't possibly be right. I showed you the announcement, didn't I? But his fiancee-- Holy shit. Oh, sorry Mom. Yeah okay. Well I guess I'd better tell him. Oh my god. I just. Wow. Alright, bye Mom."

I looked up when I heard Bobby finish his conversation. He was staring at Gerard and me with wide eyes, and he looked a little bit sick. "What'd she say?" I asked after a minute when he said nothing.

"She said..." Bobby took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "She told me that your birth parents are named Donald and Donna Way."

I snorted. "That's ridiculous. Don and Donna are Ger's parents. Not mine."

"Yeah that's what I said. But Mom assures me that it's true. I guess you and Gerard ARE brothers." Bobby glanced down at our clasped hands and grimaced a little bit.

"Holy fuck." I jumped up off the couch, away from Gerard, and backed into Frank. He took my arm to steady me since I was shaking something awful.

"Mikey?" Gerard was watching me with wide, panic-filled eyes. I stared back, eyes probably just as frightened. He held his hands out to me and said, "sweetheart, please tell me you don't believe this. We can't be brothers. It doesn't make any sense."

I shook my head rapidly, closing my eyes and gulping deep breaths of air. "Gerard, please call up your parents and ask them if they know any of this to be true."

I heard him let loose a quiet sob, then he got up and left the room, presumably to get his phone. As soon as he was gone I curled into Frank's side, crying silently into his neck. Frankie rubbed my back soothingly, murmuring calming words into my hair.

A minute later I heard Gerard come back into the room. He came over to me and tried to take my hand, but I shook him off. "What'd they say?" I asked coldly, refusing to look at him.

He coughed quietly, and I could hear the tears in his voice. "Mom said she gave a baby up for adoption. To a family named Bryar. I guess it's true."

Without a word I grabbed Frankie's hand and stormed out of my apartment. Bob followed uncertainly, and neither Frank nor I tried to stop him.

"Where are we going?" Frank asked as we passed through the lobby of the building.

"Can we go to your house?" I responded desperately, looking at him through the tears streaming down my face. "I can't go back up there. I don't think I could fucking... look at him. Fucking Christ Frank, I've been sleeping with my... oh my god. I was about to marry him. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"Alright, let's go to my place then," Frank agreed as I continued to chant hysterically, my sobs threatening to overcome me. "Bob, feel free to come too. Although there's not a lot of room so if you spend the night you're either on the floor or you're with me in my bed."