If I Love You, Why Do I Keep Getting Hurt?

“I-I’m the reason this happened, we were in the car because of me, I can’t live with that if you hate me Gee,” I said and his eyes widened, his mouth gaping open.

“If you blame me blink three times, if you don’t blink five times,” I said, praying he wouldn’t blink three times.

Gerard blinked, blinked again, blinked again, blinked again, and blinked again. Then he shut his eyes and I exhaled in relief.

“You don’t blame me Gerard, but I still blame myself. I don’t know how to live with this. I saw everything my love I saw the true horror. I saw Donna, so broken and dead, her own blood got on my face and I couldn’t scream or break down because then I saw you my love, screaming my name and hurt and I broke inside but thickened the wall of my twisted shell, and I can’t get out until you are home with me. I need you Gee, everyone needs you,” I said, and he said nothing, didn’t move at all, but a single tear rolled down his eyes, showing to me that he was listening and hurt, which made me feel worse.

“Please Gee, don’t be sad. When you’re sad and I made you sad I can feel another layer being added to my shell, and I don’t want that to happen. I want to break free but I know I can’t, not until you’re safe my darling.