Textbook Romance

I growled and had to stop myself from chucking something after him. I watched as Max disappeared into the crowd of dancers. I knew that he was going back up to the balcony and I growled, knowing that my drink was still up there.

I went around the dance floor and past the bar tender who shot me a weary glance. I smiled sarcastically and rushed past the dancing people. When I got to the part of the room that was roped off, they let me through with out a second thought. I smiled at that fact. Then I saw Max sitting up there, sipping on his beer and I wiped the smile off of my lips automatically. He grinned.

I sat down next to Craig and reached across the table for my drink. I sipped on it and listened as they guys talked and bopped their heads along to the music. We hung out for awhile longer before the guys and I decided to head out. They cracked a few jokes about it being past my bedtime and I smacked them, although, I was still ignoring Max.

We got back to the busses soon after leaving and I climbed aboard the bus, feeling just a little drunk since Craig, and Max, had been refilling my drink for most of the night. I slipped out of my shoes and the rest of my clothes. I cursed when I realized that I had no clean shorts to wear. I reached into my bag and pulled out a black tank-top. I slipped it over my head, leaving me in just that tank-top and my black and red star underwear.

I decided that it was okay to wear while watching a movie by myself but not with four guys, including one who seemed to have it out for me. So I climbed into the bunk across from mine and pulled open his own bag. When my finger's found a pair of grey, silky shorts, I slipped them on, chuckling on how we were almost the same size, him just a little bit bigger than me.

I hopped down from the bunk and pulled the shorts back up on my hips. They guys were already in the back room, and getting dressed into something more comfortable. I wandered out to the front of the bus and to the kitchen area. I noticed that someone was in the bathroom. I opened one of the cupboards and pulled out a box of chocolate Pop-Tarts. I grabbed a bag for myself and then stuck it back up there.

I wandered through the front of the bus, past the bunks, and knocked on the back door, hoping that everyone was dressed. I wouldn't have liked to walk in and see naked men, it would only egg them on even more. Egg Max on.

“Come in!” Robert's voice called from inside, so I did.

I grinned and plopped down on one of the couches. Stretching my legs out on the coffee table and ripping into my bag of Pop-Tarts. I broke one in half a took a huge bite out of it, almost moaning when I ate it. Robert and Monte laughed at me as I devoured my food. I didn't know where Craig and Max were, unless they were both in the bathroom together, but I didn't think that could be true. I knew that even though they messed around on stage that they really were both into chicks.

“Where's Craig?” I questioned, knowing that if they said somewhere other than the bathroom I'd know where Max was.

“Ran to the bus next door. Said something about being out of coffee,” Monte replied, waving his hand in the air as Robert chuckled.

I nodded and settled into the couch. After about ten minutes Craig came sauntering into the back of the bus, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands. He grinned at me over the cup and then took a sip. “Where's Max at?” he asked, looking around the room.

“Bathroom,” I said while keeping my eyes trained on the television, “I think.”

Craig nodded but didn't say anything else. After another few minutes I stood up. The guys looked at me funny. “I'm a...” I couldn't think of something to tell him, “I'm a, going to check on Max.” They knew exactly what I was talking about so they nodded and I slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

I walked quietly through the hallways with the bunks, my feet padding on the soft carpet of the bus. I took a deep breath and walked over to the bathroom door. I knocked lightly. When Max didn't reply I knocked harder, knowing that he heard me.

“What?” Max's voice came out breathily, almost as if he was being strangled.

“Max,” I said, trying to open the door, cursing when it was locked, “Are you okay? Let me in.”

“I'm fine,” he replied, stopping to take a breath, “Go away.”

I tried the door again. “No,” I stated, “Let me in right now, Max.”

I let go of the door handle for a minute as I felt Max unlocking it from the other side. I pushed it open quickly, regretting it when I felt the wooden door make contact with Max's spine. He groaned. I cursed when I saw him hunched over, his arms wrapped around his legs and his head on his knees. Withdrawal. I recognized it instantly. I pushed the door shut and clambered down to the floor. I stretched my legs out and pulled Max closer to me, his head on my lap. He was sweating already and he said he was dizzy. I ran my fingers through his hair, stopping it before it could become too matted.

After a few minutes I pulled him up. “Come on,” I said, “We should get you off of the floor.”

Max nodded his head weakly. I stood up and then grabbed his arm, helping him up to his feet. “Are those my shorts?” he asked me, a fading tone of amusement in his voice.

“Maybe,” I replied, pulling him out of the bathroom and helping him to the bunk area. “Climb on up,” I told him, wondering if he had lost all of his strength yet. When he did, I realized that this was just stage one. “I'll be right back,” I told him as I walked down to the back room door and pushed it open.

The guys looked up at me from the t.v screen. “Everything alright?” Craig questioned, looking concerned.

I shrugged, “Just some symptoms. Nothing I didn't expect.”

Everyone looked worried all of a sudden, “Anything we can help with?” Robert asked sincerely.

I looked to the floor and then back up to them. “I don't know if it's going to get any worse, it probably will, but I'm not sure if he'll be able to play a couple shows.”

The guys looked shocked. They probably hadn't thought of that and now I was telling them that they couldn't play at all. I mean, who can play their songs without a bassist? I sighed and leaned against the door frame, feeling bad for putting Max and the guys, through this.

“Can't his tech play for him?” I questioned, the thought popping into my head.

The guys didn't nod their heads or say no. I could tell that they were thinking about it. I knew that they cancelled a few shows the last time Max went to rehab. “I don't think Max will go for that,” Craig told me, “He'd rather have the shows cancelled than have someone replace him.”

I nodded, knowing that's what happened last time. “I'll talk to him about it.” Then I turned around and walked back to the bunks. Max's jeans were laying on the floor so I picked them up and folded them before tossing them up onto my bunk so that I could put them away later. Then I climbed up and into Max's bunk.

He was curled up under the blankets, shivering. I scooted next to him and pulled him to me. “I'm sorry,” I whispered, never having seen him so vulnerable before now.

I felt him shake his head, “No,” he whispered, moving to lay his head in my lap, “It's not your fault.”

I sighed and started to run my fingers through his hair, hoping that he would fall asleep so that maybe he could sleep through some of this. After laying there for a little while I realized that he probably wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon. So I scooted down so that I was laying next to him. I curled up beside him, hoping that my body heat would warm him up a little bit.

I felt a little bit awkward for 'snuggling' with him when my boyfriend was only a tour bus or two away but on the other hand I felt responsible for Max and the condition that he was in now. I knew I needed to help him through all of this. I didn't really know anything about how withdrawal worked and I didn't know if Max could die from it or not.

Eventually Max fell asleep with his arms wrapped around my waist and his head on my shoulder. I didn't mind. I felt like Max's protecter. The kind in those movies were the pretectee falls in love with the protecter, and even though Max seemed to like to mess with me, I seriously hoped that wouldn't be the case. I loved Neil and I didn't want to strain our relationship anymore then it had already been.

As I laid there with Max I thought about a lot of things. I thought about the 'too skinny' man laying next to me and how his baggiest pair of shorts were pretty much my size. I thought about the rings under his eyes that a person could only see when he didn't draw large black circles of eyeliner around both of his foggy green eyes.

I thought about the man in the bus just a few feet away. I thought about how he got me this job, got me away from my insane parents and the memories of the people that I'd lost already. I thought about how I felt about Neil and how I felt when I was around him. I climbed out from underneath Max, failing when I tried not to wake him. He held on tighter and asked, “Where are you going?” in a groggy tone, barely awake and able to comprehend anything in that state.

“Don't worry, I'm just going to have a smoke. I'll be right back.”

Max loosened his grip and I slipped out from under him. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my pack of cigarettes from my bunk before stealing a lighter off of the table in the front of the bus. I stood outside, leaning against the side of the bus. The air was warm out here. Humid. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up as I folded my arms over my chest. I didn't know what time it was, but I knew it was late. From what I could tell there weren't any parties happening tonight and that I was slightly grateful for. The end of the my cigarette was the only light outside. It seemed that everyone and everything else was resting up for a big day tomorrow.

I didn't know what city we were in or what time the show was on tomorrow but I remembered that I'd need to talk to Max about his bass tech filling in for him for a couple (hopefully) of shows. I knew men had this 'pride' thing and I knew that Max had enough pride for five guys but I hoped that if I talked to him he'd let it go this once. After all, the show must go on.

I stubbed out my smoke and typed in the code to the bus. I walked back to the bunks, slid out of my shoes, and climbed on up. Max was awake, laying there staring at the top of his bunk. He scooted over when I climbed up.

“It's hot out,” I said, not being able to find any other words.

Max nodded once and I watched as his eyes slowly moved to look at me. “I can't do this,” Max whispered, his face distraught and his eyes upset.

My own eyes grew wide, “Yes you can, Max,” I pleaded with him, “Of course you can. You're stronger than this.”

Max shook his head. “It's going to get worse, Nev. I know it is.”

I nodded and grabbed onto his wrist, cringing when my fingers could wrap all the way around the bone. “I'll be here for you Max. Tell me what you need and I'll give it to you.”

Max looked back to me and there was something in his eyes. He nodded once, begrudgingly.

I was relieved. I wrapped my arms around his neck loosely in a hug. We both laid back and I decided that since he was awake that I'd talk to him about the shows. “Max,” I started, causing him to look at me.

“What?” he asked breathily.

I took a deep breath. “I don't think you'll be up to playing a show tonight.”

Max shook his head and said weakly, “I'll be fine.”

I shook my head this time, “Max, honestly, no.”

Max looked at me with something mean in his eyes and then he said, “You're not in charge of me, Ginevra. You may be helping me out but you're not my boss and I don't have to listen to you.”

“Max, no, I-”

He cut me off with a mean look. “Just stop,” he spat, “I'm not someone you can just manipulate to do whatever it is that you want.”

I sat up quickly. “Why don't you just shut up and listen for a minute?” I asked rudely, watching as he clenched his jaw. “You're not going to be able to play. If you want you can go ahead and snort more drugs, then you'll be just dandy and you can go ahead and do your fucking show, Max. Or you can grow up and sit this one out like a big boy who's waiting his turn. But just so you know, if you chose the first option I'm leaving. I'm packing my stuff, saying goodbye to you and heading back to A Day to Remember's bus. The only time I'll see you is when you're standing on that stage.”

I tucked my hair behind my ears as I waited for his answer. When he didn't reply I slid out of his bunk and shook my head. I walked to the back room and peaked in on the guys. They were just chilling so I walked in and sat next to Craig, smiling when he put his arm over my shoulder. “How's everything?” he asked.

“I think he's quitting.”

The band looked at me with shock on their faces. When I shrugged Craig shouted, “What?”

“What?” I asked, “He says he doesn't have the will power to stop using drugs.”

Craig and the guys looked confused, “Wait, what?” Craig asked again, his head spinning.

I sighed, “He's quitting quitting.”

Robert, Craig, and Monte looked relieved for a minute. Then, they were pissed. “Why would he go and do that?”

I shrugged, “He's weak.”

Craig gave me an odd look. “You're really giving up on him, aren't you?”

I shrugged again. “I don't know what else to do.”

Craig sighed and pulled my closer to him. “Max is hard-headed and likes to get what he wants. And when he doesn't he has a tendency to push people away.” Craig shook his head, “Don't let him push you away, Ginny. Once you past that you'll realize how amazing of a guy Max really is.”

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. “I just...” I trailed off, “Max is different, you know? He puts on this front that makes him seem so tough but underneath I don't really think he is and I wish he'd give it up already.”

Craig chuckled, “That's not really what Max likes to do. He'll stick to the tough guy persona until the day he dies.”

I chuckled and nodded my head against his shoulder. “I guess I can try a little harder. Plus,” I added, “I really like you guys and I'd miss hanging out with you all.”

Craig chuckled and rested his head against the top of my head. “You should really go talk to him,” he said after a couple minutes, looking down at me with a smile on his face.

I groaned, “It was easier telling him that I was going to leave your bus.”

Craig chuckled, his chest rumbling underneath me. I rested my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes. I started to drift off when I felt Craig shift from beside me. “Come on Ginny,” he whispered to me quietly, “Lets get you to bed.”

I nodded dimly, sleepily, and grunted as Craig lifted me up in his arms. He walked smoothly as he carried me to the bunk area. He whispered to me as he set me on my feet, realizing that he couldn't push me all the way up into my bunk. I groaned and started to climb up, feeling Craig's hands on my back, making sure that I didn't fall backwards and smack my head on another bunk.

“Night,” I grumbled as I slid underneath my blankets, “Thanks.” I laid my head down on my pillow and closed me eyes for a few moments. Being woken up had actually woken me up some. I looked across the little hall at Max since his bunk curtain was still open. His hair was sprawled out on his pillow and it was tangled in a bunch of places. His make up was smeared on his white pillow case and his lips slightly parted as he took deep breaths.

His nose ring was silver and barely noticeable in the dark. There were still rings on his fingers and the black paint was chipping off of his nails. He was facing me and his fingers were tangled in his fading black hair. I felt bad all of a sudden, that I had started this thing with Max. He was shaking in his sleep and biting on his lip. A nervous tick maybe. I wanted to climb over there and hold onto him so tight that he couldn't move or shake.

I closed my eyes and tried to shake the thoughts of Max hurting in his sleep from my mind. I thought about what I had to do tomorrow, what I was going to do about getting Max to allow someone else to play for him. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and I was no where near ready but my mind obviously was, seeing as I fell asleep with my thoughts racing around my mind like RoadRunner.