Textbook Romance

I was sure that you could hear the bus from a mile away. There were people spilling out of the door with drinks in their hands as they cheered and screamed about things. Max greeted a few people when we walked up but then he continued onto the bus, looking for the rest of the guys. I squeezed up the stairs and tried to keep up with his pace as I kept getting squished between people inches taller than me.

There was a stereo set up on the table of the Alesana bus. This bus seemed huge on the inside, much larger than the guys' bus, even without the sliding wall. As Max got called over by someone I didn't know, I moved to the back of the bus, hoping that was where they kept the alcohol.

The door was opened as I crept back there. There were people packed from wall to wall. Their back room didn't have a couch but a bed instead that was pushed against the back corner. People were scattered over it with beers and wine coolers. I wondered how the owner of the bed was okay with random people laying on his blankets and pillows, then I realized that everyone knew everyone else in the musical community.

On a small card table sat a box of wine coolers that were still in the casing. I reached for one and was surprised that the apple flavored alcohol was still cold. I opened it up with minor difficulty and almost moaned at the taste. Green Apple wine coolers had been my favorite thing when I first started drinking. I was never into hard alcohol and it took me a long time to warm up to beer, but when I tasted the drink in my hand it reminded me that I should've never switched to beer because fruity things were my favorite.

I carried the glass bottle back through the groups of shouting people. I couldn't see any of my guys any where so I headed back outside to escape the heat and the haze of the bus.

"Excuse me," I murmured as I trampled down the stairs. You could still hear the music as you stood in the dark. I didn't know what time it was as I leaned against the bus and sipped on my drink, but I knew it was late. I was wondering if these guys ever slept.

"What are you doing out here all alone?"

I looked to my left and smiled at Jeremy McKinnon. I motioned to the talking people around me. "I'm not alone," I told him.

"You're not with anyone, either," he replied, leaning against the bus next to me and sipping on his own drink.

"I kind of like being alone sometimes," I said, "I never really get any privacy anymore."

Jeremy nodded his head. "It's kind of a trying thing to get used to. It's hard to give up having your own space. You become part of the tour and just have to give in."

I nodded too. "I realized that."

He took a sip. Then he asked, "How's it working for you?"

I shrugged, my thoughts jumping back to the nights I spent curled up against Max's bare side. "It's not that bad," I murmured, "Until I think about it."

Jeremy copied my shrug. "So, how are you doing?" he asked after a minute of silence, each of us watching the rowdy people around us.

"You mean about Neil," I stated, knowing what he was getting at. "How is he?" I asked against my better judgement. I didn't know why I wanted to know.

Jeremy nodded a little bit and said, "He's doing alright. I think he's trying to forget about you completely. It'll be easier when you leave with Escape the Fate."

Ouch. That'd hurt more than I wished it would've. I knew I had no right not to want Neil to forget me, but I didn't. I swallowed harshly and thought about the guitarist who'd brought me along on this huge adventure.

"I'm sorry," Jeremy said, seeing the look on my face.

I shrugged. "It's not your fault. I just can't seem to stop caring about him."

"Did you really love him?" Jeremy questioned, his eyes looking at me even though I wouldn't dare to meet his gaze.

"Yeah," I said breathlessly, "I really did."

"And you don't anymore?"

I bit my lip and reached up to run my fingers through my hair. "I don't know," I said eventually, "I still care about him... but I just can't tell what the difference is between what I feel for him now and what I felt for him a couple weeks ago."

"Maybe there isn't one," Jeremy said, a flicker of hope in his voice.

I shook my head and watched the hopeful expression leave his face. "There's definitely something," I murmured.

Jeremy fiddled with his lanyard and tour pass. "I think it's Max," he said quietly, almost whispering his name.

"We already know that," I said, "Neil already knows that Max got between us."

Jeremy shook his head. "Not just Max, Ginny, your automatic feelings for Max," he replied, waiting for me to understand.

"I don't get it," I said flatly, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I don't know," he replied, sighing. He reached his hand up to his forehead and ran his palm over his short hair much like I'd seen Neil do a hundred times before. "I think that maybe you were supposed to have an attraction to Max, you know," he chuckled nervously, "Like maybe the point of being with Neil was supposed to lead you to Max."

I shook my head before he even finished speaking. "I would never use Neil that way. I really care about Max. I-,"

"I didn't say that you used him, Ginny," I stopped me, "Maybe it was fate or something."

I stopped and looked up at him, finally understand what he meant. "You really believe in all the fate and destiny shit?" I questioned, crossing my arms over my stomach as chills swept in with the wind. The slits in my pants left my legs feeling cold and the air nipped at my bare arms and shoulders.

"You cold?" Jeremy questioned, "I'd offer you my jacket, but..." He motioned to his bare arms and T-shirt.

I smiled. "Do you still want to talk? I'm just going to go grab Max's jacket and smokes. I'll be right back." I set my almost empty drink on the cement.

Jeremy nodded and watched me walk back onto the large, loud, rowdy bus. The crowd seeming to be thinning out as people found groups of friends and huddled together to talk around the edges of the bus.

Max was standing closer to the bunks with Craig and a few guys from Alesana, although I didn't know their names. I walked over and smiled as Max turned to see who it was.

"Hey," I greeted, "Hey Craig."

"Hey Ginny."

"Hey Nev, what's up?"

I smiled at the the people surrounding Max before I turned to him directly. "Can I borrow your jacket?" I questioned, "Jeremy and I are talking outside and it's starting to get chilly."

"Our Jeremy?" one of the Alesana guys questioned.

I shook my head. "McKinnon."

"Oh," he said, "I'm Shawn." He held out his hand for me to shake. I smiled and shook his hand pleasantly. He had short, choppy black hair that looked incredibly nice on him. He dressed a bit more "punky" than the guys around him, but it was a good style for him. He introduced me to two more members of his band, Shane and Patrick. I introduced myself.

"Nice meeting you guys. I really love your music," I said honestly as Max slipped out of his leather jacket, exposing his bare arms and sides. I kissed his cheek. "Thanks."

He nodded. "No problem. If you want to leave any time, come find me and I'll walk you back to the bus. We don't need any fans coming up and running off with you."

The guys chuckled when I rolled my eyes at him.

"Don't be so cynical, Max," I said playfully.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine before he let me walk away. I shook my head as I walked off, back towards Jeremy McKinnon who was waiting outside for me. What I wasn't expecting was for Alex Shelnutt to be standing next to Jeremy and Neil when I bounded down the steps.

I stopped short and looked at the three band mates. My sudden movement caused Jeremy to look my direction and the other two followed his gaze.

"Ginny..." Neil breathed, shock lacing the sound of his voice.

I looked up to Jeremy. "I was just coming to see if you wanted another beer..." I muttered, unsure of what else to say.

Jeremy stayed silent as Neil looked me over. Sure, he was the one that was so certain that he'd 'lost' but he'd been out here talking with Jeremy, one of his best friends, who I'd just admitted to that I wasn't sure if I'd stopped loving him.

"What did you say to him?" I asked harshly, already knowing the answer.

Jeremy's eyes grew so wide that I could still detect the different in the dim light from the bus. "Ginny," he said, "He asked, I just-"

Before he could finished I turned around and headed back up the stairs of the bus. I was frantic as I moved to find Max, upset when his spot was empty by the rest of the guys.

"Craig, where's Max?" I asked, interrupting Patrick as he spoke.

Craig's expression grew concerned. "He went to get another beer, why? What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I said quickly, trying to move towards Max. Craig grabbed my arm. "I'm just being dramatic," I said, "Just let me get Max to take me home."

"I'll take you," Craig said softly. "What's wrong?"

I knew the guys from Alesana were watching me, worry in their kind eyes. I slowed my heart rate and tried to act dignified instead of embarrassed. "I told Jeremy McKinnon some things about how I feel for Neil, and then he told Neil and he's outside," I said slowly, breaking each sentence down so I could get the words out with out tears of embarrassment coming out of my eyes.

"They're still outside?"

I looked over my shoulder quickly and sighed in relief when Max was standing there, a new beer in his hand.

I nodded. "Will you take me back?"

Max nodded his head and reached for my hand automatically. We said goodbye to everyone and then we moved towards the stairs.

"Don't do anything," I said to Max, "Please just ignore them."

Max looked to me. "They embarrassed you, Nev."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't care. I just-" I sighed, "I just want to go lay down. I think I'm getting tipsy anyways."

Max chuckled but his smile dropped off of his face as the three ADTR band mates came into view, standing next to my abandoned bottle. They looked at us as we passed. Jeremy called out to try to apologize but I shook my head to stop him.

I didn't look at Neil as we walked out of sight, but I could still feel his eyes following us towards where he knew the bus was parked. I sighed and pulled Max's jacket tighter around me.

"Thanks, Max," I said when we stood outside in the dark, "You can go back now if you want."

Max tugged on my hand. "No," he said, "I can stay here with you. It's no big deal."

"Really," I said, "I don't mind. I'm probably just going to curl up on the back couch and put in a movie or something." I reached out and put my hands on Max's bare sides as he stood in front of me. It was times like these that I really appreciated these types of shirts. I shivered at the feel of Max's bare skin under my finger tips, even though I'd slept on his chest numerous times. There was just something electrifying about the noticeable drop in the humidity, leaving everything feeling relieved, light, and sensual.

I pulled Max to me by his thin waist. He licked his bare lips before he pushed me back against the bus and put his hand against the vehicle next to my head. I pulled his hips closer against mine as he leaned down and touched our lips.

It lasted only a millisecond before he was pulling away and tugging me onto the bus. "What do you want to watch?" he questioned, looking over his bare shoulder at me.

"You can choose," I replied with a light smile, "I just want to stretch out."

Max nodded. "Go ahead and picked out a few for me to choose from. I have to take my contacts out." He blinked a couple times. "They're just dried out."

"Okay," I said before I detached my hand from his.

He chuckled as I walked away from him.