Take This To Heart

Juliet.

It was official. Jack was trying to ruin my life, and nothing I tried to say or do would stop him. The guy had no limits.

He fucking punched my boyfriend in the face. Not to mention he got himself beat up in the the process. I could hear Annie babying him from the bathroom as I sat on the pavement outside the bus, seriously considering buying a case of cigarettes. I never smoked. Then again, I never felt like this. So pissed and hopeless at someone who was supposed to be my friend. But I guess that was naive of me as well.

"You ok?"

I turned and gave Alex a half smile as he joined me on the curb. "Been better. I just can't believe he's being such an asshole."

Alex nodded and put his arm around my shoulders. I fell into his chest and instantly felt a little better. I was trying not the think too much about what Jack had told me, about Alex "loving" me. He was probably full of shit.

"I don't think he means it."

I let out a laugh and burrowed my face in his neck as he held me closer. "I'm just so tired of this cycle, ya know? I feel so fucking stupid."

"You're not stupid, Jules. You're anything but stupid."

"He just keeps putting me through all this shit and I let it happen."

Alex laughed and kissed the top of my head. "That's just who you are, you trust people. I love that about you."

My body froze for a second and Alex kissed my head again, holding me closer and closer. And for a moment, my mind reeled of times when Alex acted like more than a friend. That all led up to now.

I looked up at him, a smirk on my face. "Can I ask you something, and it might be a little weird?"

"Uh, sure." Alex laughed nervously. "If you're asking me if I'm gay, we've been over that-"

"No, shut up." I stopped him, turning to face him on the side walk. "It's just that, at Disney World the other day, Jack said something to me," I laughed, realizing how stupid this was about to sound. "And I mean, sorry because this is just me being paranoid. But he said that um, get this." I had to just say it. "He said that you were in love with me. That's crazy right?"

Alex looked at me like he was frozen. His smirk faded and a soft smile left his lips with a breath.

"Jack said that?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I mean it's like you said, he's been weird-"

All of a sudden Alex stood up, his fist clenched and his eyes closed. He rose up and paced nervously for a second before turning back to me.

"I can't fucking believe him!"

I grabbed his wrist and tried to calm him down. "Alex, stop. Why are you freaking out? It's not even true."

Alex stopped. He turned to me, a soft, sarcastic smile on his face. He brushed me off of him and took a step back.

"Wait," I grabbed his attention again. "Is it true?"

He paused again, turning back and laughing slightly. "Jules, I don't know what to say."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh yeah, cause it's so fucking simple to tell your best friend that your so fucking madly in love with them." Alex shook his head and took another step toward me, his wrist going back into my open hand. "Isn't it obvious?"

I shook my head. "But with the whole pretending thing? Why didn't you tell me to stop?"

"Because this is the closest I'll ever get to having you." Alex shook his head as I grabbed the hem of his shirt. He was doing his best not the look me in the eyes. He didn't even see the way I was looking at him right now.

We had kissed the other day, but I wasn't sure what it meant then. Now I looked at him a bit differently. He wasn't just my best friend Alex anymore. He was my best friend Alex that had been crushing on me for god knows how long, and I was just finding out. There was something romantic about that.

He was still rambling. I laughed and his eyes looked down at me, the sudden realization of how close we were hitting him.

"Jules-"

"You need to shut the fuck up, Gaskarth."

With that, he pressed his lips onto mine and I put my hands on his neck. Slowly he pressed me against the brick wall, my feet lifting slightly off the ground. And this time, the kiss was different. There were butterflies in my stomach and I loved the way he was holding me.

For a moment the world froze. Like there was nothing but us. And I was sure the guys on the bus could see this unfolding, but I didn't care. All that mattered was Alex's lips on mine.

"Hey Jules?"

Alex immediately disconnected his lips from mine and my feet found their way back to the ground.

I opened my eyes, an annoyed tone in my voice as I saw Annie. "What, Annie?"

Annie noticed my voice and laughed nervously. "Um, can I talk to you a sec?"

I looked over at Alex, who nodded. He pulled my hips softly towards him and planted a kiss on my temple. I wanted to stay with him then, but he walked away and I walked over to Annie.

"Is anything wrong?"

Annie shook her head. "No, Jack is just a little out of it."

I nodded again, unsure about why this required my attention. "Okay..."

"And I really need to get some sleep. I'm leaving an a few days, and I could really use a good nights sleep. Do you mind sitting with him for a bit? I asked him who he wanted to and he said-"

"Of course," I sighed, "Sure. Go."

Wouldn't want her to miss out on her fucking beauty sleep. Annie squealed and hugged me before running on to the bus. I retreated into the bathroom, very annoyed at this entire situation. The last person I wanted to see right now was Jack.

But as I walked in and saw his body on the sink, the pang in my heart scared me.

"Jack."

He turned and let out a short smile. "Hey Jules."

I walked over to him quickly, my heart breaking at the sight of his black eye and purple cheek. I pressed a finger to it and he winced.

"Oh my god."

Jack shrugged. "It's not too bad."

"You're full of shit, this probably hurts like a fucker."

He laughed. "Annie gave me pills."

"Why aren't you on the bus, again?"

"We're out of paper towels and the bathroom smells like fuck."

I laughed and pressed a wet paper towel to it, letting out a long sigh.

"Remind me how this happened again."

Jack laughed and rolled his eyes. "Well I was drunk so, that's part of it. And I saw Bryant at the bar and-"

"Is this about that ridiculous 'he's cheating on me' thing?"

"Yes, because I saw what I fucking saw, whether you believe me or not-"

I laughed and cut him off. "He's not that kind of guy-"

"Apparently he is, I saw him!"

"It doesn't matter, because I'm going to break up with him soon anyway. So can we drop this, please?"

A smile spread across Jack's lips. "Why?"

"Cause," I paused, thinking of what had just happened outside. "I think um, I don't know. There's just this thing with Alex-"

"No."

I gave him a face. "What?"

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

Jack laughed. "I mean no."

"It's not really your decision, Jack. You're the one that told me he liked me. And I think I might like him too."

"He has a fucking girlfriend!"

Oh shit. He does. Colleen. "Well then congrats Jack! You fucking WIN! I will never be as happy as you are with Annie. I will never move on like you. Because you won't let me. Every guy isn't this or isn't that. You have to find something-"

"It's just because I care about you!"

"Well stop caring!" I shouted. "I don't fucking need you!"

Jack stood up and stood a step closer to me. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because it's true!"

"Well I guess you win then, because I would be a fucking liar if I said I didn't need you, Jules!"

I wanted to kill him. "Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not lying about shit!"

"Yes you are!"

"Why do you have to be so fucking difficult I'm trying to say something here but you keep SHOUTING at me!" Jack shouted.

I shook my head and stepped closer to him so we were only inches apart. "Then fucking say it!"

We were still both shouting as Jack groaned and pushed me against the wall. This seemed to be a theme for the night.

"I LOVE YOU!"

I laughed. "Jack, you're fucking-"

"Do you hear me? I LOVE YOU!"

And with that, he kissed me. I could feel the side of his lip that was swollen as he pressed. It was the first time we had kissed like this in years. A kiss that was passionate. It took me a minute to kiss back, but I did. I pulled his neck closer and let him pull my hips into him. And suddenly, every memory and feeling I had ever had of Jack flooded back.

I remembered why I was in love with him.

That alone was enough to push him back. Without a word I left him breathless, my lips swollen and my breath gone as well. I scooted around him and paused at the door.

"Come back to the bus soon. We need to go."

He nodded, not looking at me. "Ok."