Take This To Heart

Juliet.

And I was smoking.

I never smoked. I hated smoking. Most of the crew and band hated it. But the thing was, I didn't give a fuck. As I let the cigarette hit my lips I felt a sigh a relief and rebellion. I was done.

Both of them had been total assholes. I guess they made their choice, it was their girlfriend's heart or mine. And they both turned their backs on me.

What hurt the most was it was Alex more than Jack. The guy who had been hurting me the least lately, who had been helping me put everything back together, had stripped me of everything. And Jack was just the final piece of the puzzle that broke me down.

As far as I was concerned, after this tour, I was done. I was out. I wasn't sure where I would go, but I would go somewhere.

I walked back into the venue just as All Time Low was going on. Colleen was watching from the side of the stage, and Matt gave me a sympathetic look. I shot him a half smile and sat on a couch out of the way of the stage.

Danny made a face at me as he walked by.

"Are you smoking?"

I shook my head slowly. "No, some kids were outside. They were talking to me."

"Whatever you say Jules."

I laughed a little and nodded, flipping out my phone. If anything, I just needed to see someone that was going to be nice to me tonight.

Hey, I texted Byrant, Meet me at the bar? In five minutes?

I shut my phone and brought my knees to my chest, sighing lightly and trying to ignore the constant looks I was getting from Colleen. One of these days I was going to punch her across the jaw, and it was going to be sweet.

Opening my phone, I bit my lip as I didn't get a text back. I got off the couch and walked out of the venue, around the side of the building and back through the front. I waved to Vinny as I passed and walked down the steps to the bar of the venue.

I didn't see him there.

I looked around for a second, doing a loop around until I saw Byrant's figure walking out.

Quickly I walked over to him and tapped him cutely on the shoulder. "Hey!"

He turned and his eyes widened, but not in a good way. Not in a 'happy to see you' way, in a 'god why are you here' way. And that wasn't what I needed or expected.

"Oh, hey!"

I bit my lip and looked up at him. "Did you get my text?"

"Text?" Bryant shrugged and pulled out his phone. "Nope, no text."

"Oh, well I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight. I could really use some company."

Bryant smiled slightly and rubbed his neck. "Oo, sorry Juliet. I just told my boss I would meet him up town to look at my writing about the tour, and it's gonna be a busy day tomorrow."

"That's fine, let's meet up tonight!"

He made the same face again. "Like I said, it's gonna be a busy day."

With that he brought my back into him and kissed me lightly on the forehead, smiling like he was a success. I knew he was dissing me. I could read him.

"Sorry babe. I'll call you!"

And he was gone. And I was alone.



Back to smoking a cigarette on the curb a street away from the buses while the guys talked to the fans.

The only good part about today was that Annie left. There was one conflict out the window. But yesterday rose several new conflicts, ones I wasn't willing to fix right now. And that itself was a bigger issue. I didn't expect Jack to fix any. And Alex had already proved what he wanted in life. I, apparently, didn't matter.

My phone ringing sent a smile to my face. Maybe Bryant had changed his mind.

No. But this wasn't half bad either.

"Bitch, where ya been?"

"Could ask you the same question!"

I laughed at the familiar voice and put out my cigarette in the cement. "Kara darling, I miss you so much right now. I could really use a girl on tour at the moment."

"Jack troubles?"

"And then some."

Kara let out a laugh. "Fill me in girl!"

And so I did. From the beginning, when Annie arrived, to the end where both of my best friends chose their girlfriends over me.

"Wait," Kara paused. "Let me get this straight. Alex and Jack both love you?"

I coughed. "Yeah, I mean, I thought so. But then they chose-"

"They are complete IDIOTS."

"Tell me about it."

"Okay," Kara let out a breath. "I always knew Alex had it for you, seriously, I did. I just never thought it would be relevant because he would never gather up the balls."

"I guess he kind of did, but that dream went away fast."

She laughed. "What would you have done if he let Colleen leave?"

"I probably would have been with him."

It was silent for a few seconds as we both let that fact sink in. Because it was true. Had Alex chosen me, I would have chosen him too. It was that simple. And now things were so complicated.

"Well Jack didn't really have a choice, did he?"

I laughed loudly. "Hell yeah he did."

"No, Jules, think for a sec. Colleen laid out a choice for Alex. Annie didn't, and yeah Jack should have done it on his own, but with all this going on everyone is a bit confused, ya know?"

"I just don't know if I could trust either of them. They really hurt me."

Kara agreed. "And what about this new guy?"

"Ugh, don't even mention him. Everything is so messy..." My voice trailed off as I saw a figure coming towards me. I crushed what remained of my cigarette with my shoe and got up quickly.

"Kara, I'll call you back."

"What the fuck-"

I hung up and crossed my arms, looking at the boy coming towards me with an unhappy expression on my face. On the list of people I wanted to see, he was one of the last.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?"

I looked at him for a second. His brown eyes actually looked concerned. And he looked tired, worn out. His arms were stretched out like he wanted to hold me and truth be told I wanted that too. But I couldn't give in right now.

"Go away Jack."

I sat back down on the curb, waiting for him the walk away. Of course he sat down next to me.

"Can I talk to you?"

I met his eyes and shook my head slowly. "No."

"Well fuck you I'm doing it anyway," Jack sighed, "Look, I'm sorry."

My heart skipped a beat and I turned to him. "Wait, what was that?"

"I said I was sorry," Jack laughed slightly, running his hands through his hair. "Does that make you happy?"

"Depends, do you mean it?"

He nodded. "I do. I should have made sure you were alright. Alex shouldn't have done that and I knew he had really fucked shit up there. Annie was just there and I couldn't-"

"I understand," I smiled slightly, because I did understand. "It just sucks."

"Well it's not like you aren't moving on too. Where is that Bryant guy?"

I looked at him and laughed, closing my eyes. "He doesn't have time for me tonight. You guys should make a club."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know, but I'm still mad at you."

Jack laughed. "Yeah, I'm mad at me too."

For the second time, I looked at him. Jack looked down at me and smile his cute little half smile before scooting towards me.

"Come here." He whispered as he put his arm around me and I leaned into his chest, letting myself relax a little. He put his cheek on my head and kissed it.

"Are you and Annie alright?"

Jack paused. "Yeah, uh, we're fine."

"That's good."

"Mhm." It was silent for a moment and Jack coughed. "I still don't like this Bryant guy."

I laughed. "You can do better than Annie."

"Touche."

We both laughed as we held each other. This was nice. It was like a huge weight fell off my shoulders, and it was just Jack and I. This was the closest to old times we had been in years. And I was smiling. I hadn't smiled genuinely in days.

I looked up at Jack, moving my body on his as he held me closer, kissing my the tip of my head.

"Jack?"

"Hm?"

"Can we just stay here for a little while? We don't have to talk."

Jack nodded and kissed my cheek. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too."